A Debt Paid in Passion

by Dani Collins

  “Of course.” She flipped her hair free of the gown and bent her attention to the narrow zipper along her side.

  She’d been the one to hear the chime announcing a text from her sister while he’d been brain-dead from the most powerful orgasm in history. His legs wouldn’t hold him, his skin wanted nothing but the silken brush of Sirena’s smooth nudity and all his libido could think was more.

  This sort of dependence scared the hell out of him, making him want to retreat, maybe do some work for a few hours. Definitely remove himself from her presence until he’d recovered his equilibrium.

  At the same time, he was disturbed by Sirena’s emotional withdrawal. She’d been as caught up as he, it had been incredible, but now she was subtly tense, offering to text the limo driver to pick them up.

  He did it, then said what was top of mind before he thought better of it. “I’m not ready to share you. Maybe if we stayed in here a week—”

  Like magic, her force field of aloofness fell away and a sweet smile appeared. “If these breasts were detachable, I’d send them ahead and have the driver collect the rest of me tomorrow.”

  The medieval clamp on his heart eased. Her humor made it easy to amble across to smooth her hair off her shoulder and admit, “That was incredible. Thank you.”

  “I thought so, too.” Her tiny voice tightened the follicles all over his body.

  But the way she shyly ducked her head made this all feel too fleeting. He wanted this new circumstance locked into place. Couldn’t she see how simply right this was?

  “We’re getting married,” he said with quiet assertion.

  Sirena felt something in her ease. She’d been quietly fighting terror that paradise would swing one-eighty into hell again, but his arrogant order let her know he wasn’t planning to dump her as quickly as he’d seduced her. Still, she didn’t hear anything about love and that tightened her heartstrings to a point near breaking.

  Reminding herself they’d come a long way and she shouldn’t expect too much, she said lightly, “Let me guess. I have two choices? Say yes now or say yes later?”

  He blinked, not revealing what was going on in his quicksilver brain.

  “Do you want to say no?” His instant air of detachment pushed her heart to the edge of a plank, but she supposed he could be having as much difficulty dropping his defense mechanisms as she was.

  “No.” The word came out a bit forlorn. Never had she imagined marrying a man who didn’t love her, but if he couldn’t see himself having sex with anyone else, she couldn’t see herself marrying anyone else. There were enough bonuses to balance the limitations, she promised herself.

  “Then it’s settled,” he said.

  She bit lips that wouldn’t stop trembling.

  They reached the penthouse and Ali eagerly perched across from her in the lounge, practically bouncing with excitement as Sirena sat down to feed Lucy.

  “Well?” Ali demanded.

  “Well, what?” Sirena asked, inwardly tracking Raoul to the bar.

  “Oh, you’re hopeless. Raoul, did you propose or didn’t you?”

  He paused with his glass half raised to his lips, gaze flicking to Sirena’s.

  “We decided to marry, yes,” Sirena said with as little inflection as she could manage.

  “I told you a man doesn’t go all out like this without a ring in his pocket. Let’s see it.” Ali clapped her hands then held them out, wiggling her fingers to coax Sirena to show her own.

  “I—”

  To her right, she heard the bottom of a glass hit the bar top with a firm clunk, but she refused to look in his direction.

  “Sweetie, we have a baby,” she said to Ali. “Getting married is a formality. I don’t need an engagement ring for the few days it will take to get a license and sign some papers.”

  “You’re not having a real wedding? But you always planned the full dress and fancy cake and Dad walking you down the aisle—”

  “I was a kid when I talked like that! No, listen.” She hurried to forestall her sister beating this particular dead horse. “Dad and Faye have made it plain they’re not up to traveling and Raoul has lost a lot of time with Lucy coming early. It was very sweet of him to arrange for us to have this visit—” she made a point to let him see she was utterly sincere in her appreciation of that, but his inscrutable expression and unmoving stature cowed her “—but we don’t need any more disruptions,” she finished.

  Ali didn’t want to let it go, that was her nature. She might be nineteen, but she was still a little girl in some respects. Sirena had grown up enough to realize you had to move past childish dreams and be realistic. She got Ali to drop it and Raoul left the room.

  It was Ali’s last night, so Sirena wasn’t entirely sorry they’d been called back early. She settled Lucy, took off her makeup, then she and Ali had tea and talked about the stars Sirena had rubbed elbows with. Deep inside, she hugged close the secret of all that had happened with Raoul. Ali would never understand if she told her how far they’d come, but the closeness they’d achieved was huge. No brilliantly cut chunk of stone or fancy frock would ever mean as much to her as the way he’d held her as if he didn’t want to let her go.

  It was late when they finally said good-night and sought their beds.

  Sirena came up short as she found hers occupied.

  Raoul set aside his tablet as she stopped inside her door. The lamps slanted golden light across his bare chest, making a relief map of his muscled shoulders and abdomen. She couldn’t decipher everything in his austere expression, but there was no mistaking the possessiveness of his quick glance from her lapels to her naked legs.

  Tremendous self-consciousness struck. Playing with the tie of her kimono, she tried for nonchalance as she said, “I didn’t know you were waiting for me.”

  “I was trying to fix that situation in Milan.” His scowl told her he was still trying. “I’ll give my schedule a hard look and figure out when we can get to Australia. Do you want to put off the wedding until then?”

  “No,” she said firmly, hurrying to the bathroom to brush her teeth, hoping he’d take it as a signal to end the subject, but he didn’t. When she returned to the bedroom, he continued as if she hadn’t left.

  “I’ve booked a jeweler to bring some engagement rings before we have to drop Ali at the airport.”

  “I won’t wear one.” The words came out with more vehemence than she meant, but the sort of wedding she’d always dreamed of had been a celebration of love and this relationship wasn’t that soul mate connection. Yes, she loved him and he’d come a long way toward showing more than lust for her, but going through all the hoops and barrels of a big wedding would feel fake. It was vitally important they keep things as honest as possible considering their rough start.

  He had one knee crooked beneath the sheet and one strong wrist braced on its point. “Do you intend to wear a wedding band?” His tone held a stealthy note of danger that made her tummy flutter.

  She was shocked by how defenseless yet wonderful the idea of wearing his wedding band made her feel. An engagement ring was a romantic gesture; a wedding band was a lifetime commitment. Her throat thickened and she grew warm all over as she murmured, “Of course.”

  Trying to cloak how disturbed she was, she clicked off the lamp and gestured toward the one on his side.

  He didn’t move. “Why won’t you wear an engagement ring, then?”

  “Jewelry with stones isn’t practical around babies. And—” She hugged herself. A tiny part of her still hated for him to think she was avaricious, but it was more than that. “I’m not interested in being a bride. I just want us to be a family.”

  His unapproachable vibes dissipated. He reached to flick the sheet back, motioning her into the bed beside him. She hesitated, unable to be casual despite how intimate they’d been a few hours ago. He was naked and despite her exhaustion, she was dying to feel him against her, but shedding her robe as if they’d always been sleeping like this was imposs
ible.

  Amusement curled his masculine lips into a sardonic smile. “Really?” He turned away to click off the light.

  “Don’t laugh,” she grumbled as the darkness made it safe to drop her robe and slide into bed.

  Warm hands pulled her into contact with his hot, ready body. “I have better things to do than laugh, Sin.”

  * * *

  They married in Las Vegas on the way back to New York. Sirena made all the arrangements over the internet and this time, when they were given a shared room at his mother’s, she didn’t hesitate. Despite the perfunctory ceremony, the state of being married felt surprisingly natural.

  They fell easily into old patterns. Within days of returning to London, Raoul had talked her into giving up her transcription customers and taking charge of his personal calendar instead. It came with an allowance similar to her old salary, which was rather generous considering her flat was paying for itself in rent and she didn’t have any other living expenses. Still, taking his money needled her. It would probably be healthier for them if she remained financially independent, but she accepted because she loved being part of his day-to-day life.

  “And hire me a decent PA, would you?” he added as they finished up breakfast one of their first mornings back.

  “Perhaps they have a two-for-one special at the nanny agency,” she mused, flicking the screen on her tablet, not looking up even though she was aware of him pausing after rising from the table.

  “Do you think you’re funny?” he asked above her in the ominous tone that used to make her quake, but now made her grin.

  “You just handed me a list that includes booking you a play date—” for squash, but she overlooked that “—and buying your mother a birthday gift. Throw in a nappy change and I’m spot-on.”

  He was silent, then said, “This is the sort of thing you used to say in your head when you were afraid I would fire you if you said it aloud?”

  She kept her chin tucked and lifted only her lashes. “I’m just having fun, Raoul.”

  “Are you?” She knew him well enough to recognize when he was completely serious, but she was distracted by the way his stern natural handsomeness gave him an air of commanding masculine authority. Her nerve endings came alive in tingling pulses and the rest of her wanted to melt into a puddle of undying adoration.

  “Yes,” she croaked, and tried to clear the huskiness from her throat, not quite remembering what they were talking about.

  “Because there was a time when I planned to offer you a position on my executive. If you’d rather pursue your career, you can have a job with me and it won’t be nepotism. You’re qualified. Or look for something else that appeals. I would hate trying to navigate the two schedules,” he said with a significant pause to let the downside sink in, “but we could make it work if this isn’t challenging enough for you.”

  She warmed, wistful about the reasons her promotion had never come about, but she wasn’t sure she would have taken it even if he had offered it. With her nose wrinkled in self-deprecation, she admitted, “I like working directly with you, being part of the action without having to take the lead. It makes me feel needed. Is that bad?”

  “You are needed.” He nodded at their daughter in her bouncy chair. “By both of us. If I took you for granted before she came along, well, rest assured I came to realize what I’d lost and very much appreciate all you do for me now.”

  She softened all over. Her smile wouldn’t stay pinned. “Thank you for that.”

  He bent to steal a swift kiss that turned into a lingering one, sweet as molasses. As he straightened and gathered his things, he added, “And you should know by now that my fantasies run to sexy secretaries over naughty nannies.”

  * * *

  She was so in love it was hard to remember he didn’t feel the same.

  Working for him, she had been one of many distant moons in his dynamic orbit. Now she was a part of his world in a way she hadn’t expected could happen. Raoul didn’t try to cram her into a corner of his busy life. He made a space for her and Lucy that gave them priority over everything else. When work demanded his time outside the office, he made every effort to include her, keeping her firmly at his side, not the least awkward about the fact she used to be his PA.

  Tonight’s cocktail party was different from an award ceremony or the meet and greet he’d had with his new clients last week, though. No one there had known she used to be his employee. Here, the hosts would likely remember her as the girl with the quick-draw tablet and Bluetooth earplug who had brought them coffee and arranged their lunch.

  Sirena braced herself when Paolo Donatelli, an international banker, and his wife, Lauren, welcomed them into the luxurious foyer of their Milan penthouse. They were a stunning couple, Paolo casually elegant in a gorgeously Italian way, his wife tall and warmly glowing in the family way.

  “Congratulations on your happy news! You took everyone by surprise. Even Paolo,” Lauren said, kissing both Sirena’s cheeks.

  “You’re misquoting me, bella,” Paolo said, copying his wife’s affectionate gesture toward Sirena. “I said if you two were involved, no one would know unless Raoul wanted it known. He’s the most discreet man I’ve ever met.”

  Sirena blushed, throat going dry as she felt their curiosity for more details on how their marriage and baby had slid under the radar the way they had.

  “We surprised ourselves,” Raoul said, drawing her closer as he looked into her eyes. The reassurance in his gaze warmed her, easing her past the discomfiting moment. “And discretion is what you pay for, Paolo,” he added, neatly halting further prying.

  “This is true,” the Italian said wryly. “On that note...”

  The men disappeared into Paolo’s study. Before Lauren drew Sirena into the gaggle of guests, she clasped her arm. “Did we put you on the spot? I’m sorry. The truth is, I’m thrilled. I don’t always feel a connection to the spouses of Paolo’s associates, but you’ve always been so nice. I’m glad I’ll be seeing more of you.”

  “Don’t think I won’t cash in on that,” Sirena said, relaxing as she sensed a genuine offer of friendship. “I’m dying to shop with you. You always look amazing and here I am in Milan, but I don’t speak Italian.”

  Lauren’s eyes widened in excitement. “I would love that!”

  It was the boost of acceptance she needed. Lauren also helped her find her own style, so Sirena’s confidence grew as she spent more time on Raoul’s arm. Their days were busy and their nights incredible, building tiny bridges of connection she began to trust were sturdy and reliable.

  That developing sense of closeness and familiarity brought her into his London office tower one afternoon simply because she was missing him.

  “Hello,” she said, using her weight to press the door shut behind her while she took in the familiar sight of him at his massive desk against the wall of windows, London’s skyline behind him.

  dpgroup is the way to go..eat this!!

  “This is an unexpected pleasure.” He leaned back.

  “Lucy had her photo shoot this morning. I wanted to show you the proofs. It could have waited, but since I was only a few blocks away...” She dug the flash drive from her coat pocket as she came around to the side of the desk where the outlets were mounted. “And I wanted to see your face when you see them rather than—oh!”

  Tumbled into his lap, she took a breathless second to figure out how she’d wound up here. As if there was any mystery, when her husband was looking at her as though he wanted to eat her alive. An appreciative smirk twitched his mouth while an intriguing tension made his cheekbones taut.

  “Where’s Lucy?” He drew the chopsticks from her hair so her waves tumbled free.

  Grinning, she toyed with the knot of his tie. “Watching her new nanny try to flirt with your new PA, completely oblivious to the fact she’s barking up the wrongly oriented tree.”

  “Lucy or the nanny?” He released the zip on her calf-length boot and slipped his hand insi
de. His warm touch cupped her calf then circled to fondle her knee.

  She purred, losing track of the conversation. Settling into him a little more, she felt the press of his growing arousal. His light caress climbed to the side of her thigh beneath her suede skirt. When she pressed her lips into his throat, she felt him swallow.

  “Did you lock the door?” His hand was well under her skirt now, moving insistently beneath the tight, unforgiving cut, delving to the top of her leg.

  “A detail-oriented girl like me? What do you think?”

  “I think I’m about to lose all ambition for the rest of the day.” He bent his head to kiss her and the phone rang. The heat flaring in his eyes sparked to frustration. “Only you and my mother have that line.”

  “I might be pocket-dialing you, if that’s my phone digging into my hip.”

  He chuckled, “Smart-ass,” and leaned to tap the button for speakerphone. “Mother?” he prompted.

  “Yes, it’s me.”

  “Good timing. Sirena is here.” The ironic face he made had her catching back laughter with a hand against her mouth.

  They exchanged pleasantries before his mother got to the reason for her call: a misplaced bracelet.

  “I know it’s silly to ask if you remember seeing where I left it, but I’ve been up and down through the house and it hasn’t turned up.”

  Raoul flashed a glance to Sirena. It was a quick, unexpected slide of a knife between her ribs, barbed with Again?

  He recovered quickly, even showed a hint of culpability in the way his gaze wavered and flicked away. “I remember you wearing it to dinner,” he said to his mother.

  “Sirena?” she prompted.

  Her ears rang with all that had just gone unsaid. Her skin chilled and the heart that had been flowering open shriveled to a poisoned husk. The bleak world she had inhabited for so many months crept toward her like dark clouds closing in from the horizon.

  “Same,” she said through a tight throat, all too aware she’d admired the tennis bracelet openly, listening intently to Beatrisa’s story of how touched she’d been to receive it from her son for her sixtieth birthday.