My heart races in my chest, begging me to get the hell out of here.
The whispers and giggles start back up again. They’re not that loud but it feels like an overwhelming crescendo. All I want is for the floor to swallow me up. Someone tugs on my arm, whispers something to the cashier, and I’m being pulled out of the line and past the cafeteria that fills back up with the usual sounds and chatter as I turn my back on it.
I don’t even realize what’s happening until whoever’s pulling me stops. I finally look and see the girl who was standing in front of me in line considering me with a worried look on her face. She doesn’t look familiar, but the way she’s looking at me pulls me out of my thoughts.
I clear my throat, even though it feels like sandpaper still. “I’m sorry, I just—”
But the girl holds up her hand. “Don’t be stupid. There’s no reason for you to apologize. You didn’t do anything wrong, it was that douchebag, Connor, and his team of idiots.”
“Right,” I say vaguely. The Mason triplets are part of that team too.
“I’m Hannah, by the way. You’re Milly, right?”
I’d be surprised if anyone in the school didn’t know who I was at this point. “Yeah.”
Throwing her purse back over her shoulder, Hannah nods. “That’s what I thought. Listen, I know you don’t know me, but believe it or not, I know how you probably feel right now.”
“Somehow I doubt that,” I say.
“I’ve been in a similar situation—where shitty rumors were spread about me in school, leaving my reputation in the dumpster outside. I get it, okay? It cuts deep, it makes you feel like less than everyone else out there,” she says, pointing toward the cafeteria entrance. “But it will pass. You might feel bad right now. And yes, I know that’s putting it lightly but all you can do is hold your head up and walk past all that.”
I swallow hard, not wanting to ugly cry in front of this girl who is effectively a stranger. A very kind stranger. “I don’t think it’s that easy.”
She places a hand on my shoulder, turning me to her. “It really is, though. Life is way too short to care about the opinions of a load of people you don’t even care about. People you’ll outgrow in a year. These rumors I had to deal with could have totally ruined my life if I let them. And not only mine...But that’s the thing. I didn’t let them.”
Biting my lip, I glance at our shadows on the ground, wondering what kind of things she must have gone through. It must have been pretty bad if she’s coming up to me and trying to help me out. It’s not every day someone cares enough to do something like that. My chest tightens, and I can’t help but feel seriously grateful for her words. Even still, this goes past just the school finding out about me and the guys. “I know what you’re saying, Hannah. I know I shouldn’t care about what anyone thinks of me, but this is big. The thing everyone’s talking about makes me some kind of freak, and I don’t think I can handle knowing that the first thing everyone equates with me is that.” I don’t want to assume she knows the details of the rumor although maybe she does.
Hannah’s voice softens. “It doesn’t make you a freak. You wouldn’t be the first polyamorous person, you know. I actually know of a polyamorous trio on campus. Carrie, Ethan, and Nathan.”
I raise an eyebrow at her. Why do those names sound familiar? “Nathan and Ethan Stanmore, right? … They’re...”
“Twin brothers? Yep. And Carrie’s their step-sister, too. Sound familiar, maybe? Here’s the kicker, they’re still together. And now no one seems to bat an eye in their direction. Well, I mean, maybe just to stare at the twins, but they’re gorgeous so that’s kinda understandable.”
When my mouth pops open, Hannah laughs. “Have I been living under a rock?”
Hannah just shrugs her shoulders. “Nah…well it was hot news for about ten minutes, then, when they didn’t seem bothered about people knowing, everyone moved onto the next poor soul. You know what it’s like. Any news will do around here, especially if it involves sex or the football team. Or both, in your case. I really wouldn’t worry about it though, Milly. Live your life, and fuck everyone else. You need to find what makes you happy. That bit, honey, is completely up to you.”
It’s a simple enough statement, but for some reason, coming from Hannah who seems to ooze a smart and independent kind of confidence, it clicks in my head. “Thanks, Hannah,” I say. “For rescuing me and for the pep talk. I can’t tell you how grateful I am.”
With a quick grin, Hannah leans in and pulls me into a hug. I’m not a very huggy type of person and especially not with people I don’t really know, but Hannah’s so lovely that it means a lot.
“It’s no problem. I better get to my next class though, I have to hurry up and run home after to pick up…uh, to get something,” she says, her eyes darting away for a moment.
“Okay, it was really nice talking to you,” I say, pulling away.
Hannah gives me a quick wave, and then I’m left standing outside alone.
That is until I spot the 3D brothers, and they’re heading this way.
17
Dane, Dylan, and Drew, don’t look happy at all.
In fact, the three of them look downright murderous. Dane glances between his brothers before tilting his head to the side, watching me. “Is it true, Mills? Did some asshole call you a slut in the cafeteria?”
God, the rumor mill in this place is on fire today.
Drew’s nostrils flare, reminding me of a bull ready to charge. I know his expressions and he must be holding down some serious anger right now. “Who was it? I’ll fucking murder him,” he growls.
Dylan, his eyes narrowed at me, nods. “He won’t ever say shit like that to you again, Mills. Tell us who it was.”
I know that their hearts are in the right place but I need this like I need a hole in the head right now. I’ve got enough negative attention on me. If the triplets storm in there and start beating on Connor, it’s only going to fuel the gossiping.
“What? We’re serious, Milly. Who was it?” Dane adds.
“It doesn’t matter. I’m okay, really. He was just being a dick, that’s all.”
Clearly, this isn’t enough for them. “Mills,” Drew growls. “If you don’t tell us, we’re just going to find out about it from someone else.” I shake my head but it doesn’t dissuade them. “Was someone in the team?” My expression must flicker something because I see his eyes change. “I’m right, aren’t I? It’s someone on the team. Goddammit, big mouth assholes.”
“Who was it, Milly?”
I sigh. It might have been Connor who called me out but it wasn’t like the rest of their team mates stepped in to defend me. Thing is that I don’t feel like being the reason the team loses its focus and possibly even the next game. Around here, something like that will give you a worse reputation than sleeping with your stepbrothers. “It was Connor,” I say. There’s a collective angry sound. I don’t think any of them are surprised because he’s got a reputation for being a loud mouth idiot. “But I don’t need you to do anything about it, okay? It’s just going to make things worse. They don’t seem to hear me passed the red veil of rage and I have to launch myself at the three of them as they spin around to head toward the cafeteria. “Wait!”
I don’t want them to do anything that could get them kicked off the team. The idea of trying to have that conversation with Richard and my mom makes me cringe.
But it’s no use—I’m nothing compared to one of them moving at the angry pace of a rhino charging—much less the three of them combined. I’m damn near tearing at the hem of Drew’s shirt, desperately grasping onto Dylan’s back pocket.
And when my phone rings loudly in my own pocket, I grit my teeth. Talk about some shitty timing! I can tell by the little jingle that it’s my mom, so I let it ring, still trying to get Dane, Dylan, and Drew to stop.
“The motherfucker is going down,” Drew hisses to his brothers.
“Guys, seriously! Just stop!” I dash in front of
them, the only thing I can do to catch their attention. “This isn’t going to solve anything.”
“Doesn’t have to. As long as Connor’s bleeding. A lot,” Dane replies, surprising me. The other two I could maybe see pummeling some guy on my behalf, but Dane? He’s usually just a big teddy bear. My throat constricts at how much they want to defend me.
“Are you going to answer that?” Dylan says nodding to my pocket which is lighting up and ringing yet again.
I hold my hands up. “Stay put. Just for a minute. Seriously,” I add, seeing the three of them looking around and over me. Mom’s name is at the top of the screen. “Hey, Mom.”
There’s a deep breath before she says anything. “Milly, hi, baby. Listen, I uh, I’ve got some bad news.”
Those are words I never want to hear coming from her mouth. My stomach does a flip. “What kind of bad news?”
And just like that, my stepbrothers are at my side, listening intently, the fire in their eyes doused, for now.
“I just got off the phone with Amanda, and she had to take Nana to the hospital. She’s…not doing well. The doctor’s say that it’s a severe stroke, and she can barely talk. I don’t know baby. She just doesn’t look good. I think we need to get over to the hospital. Quickly. I don’t think she has much time left, Milly.” She sounds so exhausted and wary, and her voice is clogged with the sound of unshed tears.
I swallow hard. The phone shakes in my hands as I hold it up against my face. “Okay,” I manage to say.
“Okay,” she agrees. “I’m really tired and I’ve got to get organized, so Rich will text you and the boys the details. Have them bring you, okay, honey? I love you.”
I haven’t seen my grandmother in a couple of months, not with school going on. I was supposed to go help her clean up her garage after my last final exam. Dane, Dylan, and Drew are watching me, as though they’re ready for me to fall apart. “What’s going on?” one of them asks gently.
I can’t bring myself to look at them, vaguely aware of the wetness on my cheeks. “It’s my Nana. She had a bad stroke. Mom said I need to get to the hospital now… I just can’t believe this. She was totally fine when I talked to her on the phone a few weeks ago!”
“Oh, shit, Mills.” I’m pulled into Dane’s arms just before I break down and cry. Sobbing against his chest, he holds me close. I feel other hands on my back, supporting me.
“Do you know where she is? Which hospital?” Dylan asks.
“Ask your Dad. He knows,” I whisper.
Dane lifts my chin up until I’m staring up into his eyes. “We’ll get you there, don’t worry, okay?”
I nod, watching as Dylan calls Rich, his voice low over the phone as he turns away. The muscles are twitching in Drew’s jaw as he watches everything. I know he’s still angry about Connor, but it’ll all be forgotten now while I deal with something so much more important.
--
I’ve never liked hospitals. The last time I was inside of one was when I was a kid and fractured my elbow during cheer practice. The stark scent of antiseptic, all the faded white everywhere you look. It’s enough to make anyone sick, ironically.
Pushing past the curtain inside room 308, I hold my breath. No one’s paying attention to me and the guys when we step into the room, they’re all busy huddled around Nana’s hospital bed. My mom leans in closest to her head, listening to whatever she’s trying to say, while my Auntie Amanda stands with her arms wrapped around her skinny shoulders, not bothering to hide the silent sobs.
It takes a moment for me to realize that Rich has settled against the wall by me. He leans forward and pulls me into a quick hug. “I’m glad you got here.” Behind me, he whispers to the guys. “Let’s leave them to it. Wait in the lobby. I’ll go grab some coffee for everyone.”
The four of them walk out of the room, someone laying a hand on my shoulder and squeezing before I hear the door shut quietly. It’s then that both my mom and Auntie Amanda look up and see me shuffling from one foot to the other. Mom’s face softens.
Taking my cue, I take a few steps closer until I’m at the foot of the bed. Nana’s skin is an ashy gray color, nothing at all like what I’m used to, with all the pink and freckles. She’s always careful to make sure her hair looks good no matter what she’s doing and watching her lying there with the blondish white mess on top of her head, I’m aching to reach out and smooth it back for her.
“Nana?” I say, my voice cracking. I reach out and place my hand gently on her leg over the thick white covers.
She stirs, her eyes swiveling over to meet mine, but I can see how hard it is for her to move her head accordingly. My stomach sinks as she tries to smile at me.
“Milly,” she whispers hoarsely. “Guess we don’t have to worry about the garage, huh?”
The breath catches in my chest as I force myself to chuckle for her benefit. “Says who?”
But her eyes flutter closed and for a brief terrifying moment I freak out on the inside. Is this it? Was she waiting for me to get here before she let go? My heart pounds with panic but then she opens them again, wincing. “Amanda, Kelly. Milly,” she says, slurring slowly, concentrating on every word. “I want to talk to you. Come over here, honey.”
Auntie Amanda leans down on the other side of her while I go to stand next to my mom, interlacing my fingers with my Nanas’.
Nana clears her throat. “There are some things I want to say to you.” She struggles to sit up until Mom helps her, fixing the pillow behind her. “Make the most of each day. They never last long enough to get everything done, but try your best to put as much happiness into each of them. Keep your thoughts positive. It helps when you believe you can achieve anything, it really does.” Her voice trails and she struggles to take some breaths.
“Mom, you don’t have to talk,” Auntie Amanda says, her voice shaking. “If it takes too much energy…”
But Nana just shakes her head slowly. What she has to say is obviously important enough to her to carry on even though it’s difficult. “But most importantly…” she sighs, her eyes unfocused. “The one regret I have in my life is letting love pass me by.” Her hand squeezes mine tighter. “I never told you because of your father. But before him, there was another. Jimmy…he was my first love. He was my whole world. He wanted me to marry him, but I was convinced, convinced that we were too young for that. I didn’t want to make a mistake. It was all he wanted…I was all he wanted. And I shut it out instead, thinking it was merciful rather than stringing him along.” There’s a longing in her voice, even as soft as it is. “It took a long time for me to realize that Jimmy had been the one and I’d let him go.”
I feel like I’m peeking into a conversation I shouldn’t be listening to, and Mom and Auntie Amanda seem as shocked as I am.
“What about Daddy? Didn’t you love him?” Auntie asks.
Nana barely nods. “Yes, most certainly. But in a different way. Your father was a wonderful man, a great father. He treated me well and provided for us, but he wasn’t my soul mate. that belonged to Jimmy and I never told him, even when your dad died.”
“What happened to him? To Jimmy?” I’m surprised when my own voice fills the silence in the room.
“Jimmy passed away last year. Cancer, from what I heard.”
My gaze drops to the bed where my Nana’s hooked up to all these beeping machines. The aching in my chest does nothing to actually help her, and instead only makes me feel worse. I can’t even imagine what it must be like, living your whole life with that kind of regret. “I’m sorry, Nana.”
“Don’t’ be sorry,” she wheezes. “Just hold on to love when it finds you, never mind what obstacles might be in the way. I know you’re young, and I want you to live your life to the fullest, but just remember what I said.” She leans back, clearly exhausted from using so much of her strength.
I squeeze her hand back, nodding as the door to the room cracks open, Rich returning quietly with coffee. Dane, Dylan, and Drew file into the room, their
immense size taking up so much of the space by themselves. My eyes search theirs until I look back down at her.
“I will, Nana.”
18
For the hundredth time, I rub the back of my neck. It’s strained as I hunch over in the uncomfortable pull-out chair next to Nana’s bed. I fight to keep my eyes open.
Mom is whispering to Auntie Amanda, both of them watching Nana’s monitors. She’s been asleep for an hour now, finally letting herself rest after struggling to talk to us all night. The dim lighting in the room only makes it harder to stay awake.
“I know, Amanda, I know,” Mom says, the two of them talking over all the final preparations for Nana. It still doesn’t feel real that we’re here, that we’re even talking about any of this. I keep out of the loop of the conversation, unable to let my mind go there just yet.
“Mom, do you think they have a vending machine somewhere around here?” I whisper, stretching as I stand up.
“Yeah, down the hall from the other side of the nurse’s station, honey. Can you grab me something too? Maybe some chips or—”
A piercing alarm goes off from one of the machines Nana’s hooked up to, shrieking in a rhythm that tears through my chest. My aunt runs to the door while Mom presses the call button on the bed, both of their sleepy voices coming to life in desperation.
The nurses and the doctor rush in and push past us to check the monitors, running vitals on Nana. I don’t know what’s happening, I don’t know how I ended up over here on the other side of the room, watching in horror as they hover over her.
The doctor’s face is determined. He’s trying to resuscitate her, pushing on her chest like that. It’s too calm in here, but at the same time, there’s chaos. Auntie Amanda grabs onto Mom and they hold each other tightly. No one’s wrapped around me and for once I wish that wasn’t true. Maybe it takes things falling apart to realize how much you need other people to keep you together.
HUGE 3D: A MFMM MENAGE STEPBROTHER ROMANCE (HUGE SERIES Book 5) Page 9