Logan's Need

by Sloane Kennedy

  “Because I’m an asshole and seeing you kiss Cade did something to me,” Dom said as he stepped back and ran his hand along his head. “I wanted to hurt you back.”

  It was a tough admission to hear and probably harder for Dom to say. But Logan got it – if the situation had been reversed, who knows how he would have reacted at seeing Dom with someone else. “He kissed me, but I let him. I wanted to know if it was just you.” His eyes lifted to meet Dom’s. “It is just you.”

  Dom seemed to tense at his honesty, then stepped between Logan’s legs. “I wanted it to be just us today because I didn’t think you’d be comfortable being with me around other people.” Dom leaned down, his lips hovering over Logan’s. “And I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep from doing this,” he whispered as he brushed a soft kiss on Logan’s mouth.

  Logan wanted more, but Dom stepped back, his fingers grasping Logan’s neck, forcing him to lean back so he could look Dom in the eye. “I’m not ashamed of you. I don’t think you’re a whore and I don’t care what you had to do in the past to protect your sister. And I will be forever grateful for what you gave me last night, no matter what happens between us.”

  Logan nodded and he saw some of the tension drain from Dom’s body.

  “Okay,” Dom said as he turned back to the stove and started working on the food again.

  “How long have you had this place?” Logan asked.

  “Sylvie and I opened it about ten years ago,” he began, his voice catching slightly on Sylvie’s name. “But it really didn’t take off until about five years ago and since then it’s been tough to give it as much attention as I would like.”

  “It’s a strange mix – restaurant and security firm.”

  Dom nodded. “The security firm came first. Sylvie thought the restaurant might be a good hobby,” Dom said, laughing. The sound sent a wave of warmth through Logan. “Neither of us had any idea how much work went into starting up a restaurant. She ended up taking on most of the responsibility,” he said, a hint of sadness dulling his voice.

  “Why security?” Logan asked as he watched Dom add some pasta to water.

  Dom stirred, then lowered the flame on whatever he was sautéing in the pan. He turned to face Logan. “It kind of became a family business,” he began.

  “With your brothers?”

  Dom nodded. “Vin and I started the business after I got out of college and he was discharged during his second tour in the Middle East.” Dom sighed. “We have two younger brothers that we had to look out for after our parents died so I think it just became second nature to go into a business where our protective nature would work for us.”

  Logan wanted to ask the obvious question about Dom’s parents, but didn’t. He felt like it was too personal – like they weren’t there yet. But Dom took away the issue by saying, “Our father killed our mother, then took his own life.”

  “Dom,” Logan said on a gasp, then shook his head as the rest of the words escaped him.

  “Vin was eighteen, I was fifteen. Our brothers were just ten and seven. Vin was old enough to get custody, but we struggled to keep our family together.”

  Logan was stunned into silence. He never would have guessed that he and Dom shared such a similar past.

  “I joined ROTC so I could get enough money to put myself through school. I was in my senior year when the towers were attacked and my unit was deployed to Iraq. My specialty was computers – it was what I was studying in college so they had me working in intelligence. Our younger brother, Ren, had just turned eighteen. He joined the army the day after his birthday and eventually made it to Special Forces.”

  Dom reached behind him to stir the pasta, then turned his attention back to Logan. “Vin joined the military too, but he ended up becoming a SEAL. He was honorably discharged after he got shot four years later. The bullet caused a lot of damage to his left arm – not enough that he can’t use it, but enough to end his career.” Dom increased the burner under the skillet and started putting together some type of cream sauce. Logan was glad that he kept talking while he did it.

  “I was only in for a couple years. I came back here and finished school. I decided to get my master’s degree and that’s when I met Sylvie. She was a freshman and I was twenty-four.” Dom laughed. “I met her at a party and immediately dismissed her because she was way too young for me. But she wasn’t having that and we’ve been together ever since.” Dom stopped what he was doing when he realized his use of the presence tense and Logan froze. He watched Dom take a few deep breaths, then visibly relax as he reached for the pasta to drain it.

  Several minutes passed as Logan watched Dom prepare the dishes and then the man was sliding a huge plate of Fettuccini Alfredo in front of him, the scent making his mouth water. “My mother’s recipe,” Dom said as he sat down next to Logan and handed him a fork. The pasta melted in his mouth and he groaned as he licked his lips to collect some of the sauce that clung there. His breath caught when he saw Dom staring at his mouth. Lust flared in Logan at the other man’s hungry gaze and he considered pushing the food aside and eating Dom’s mouth instead.

  “What about your other brother?” Logan forced himself to ask. The spell was broken and he saw sadness pass through Dom.

  “Rafe,” he whispered as he poked at the food in front of him, but didn’t eat any. “He was only seven when we lost our parents. We lost custody of him just after he turned eight.”

  “Did the state take him?” Logan asked softly, remembering his own fears of losing Savannah to the system when his parents had been killed.

  Dom shook his head, then put the fork down. “The reason our father killed our mother was because he found out that she’d been cheating on him and that Rafe wasn’t his. When she finally admitted it, he stabbed her to death, then shot himself with the gun he kept in the house for protection. Rafe saw and heard the whole thing.”

  “Jesus,” Logan said.

  “Rafe’s real father showed up one day with a court order. All it took was a cheek swab and Rafe was gone. We went to lawyer after lawyer, but none of them would help us. We don’t even know where his father took him. He kept begging me and Vinny not to let them take him,” Dom sad as he choked back a sob.

  Logan stood and pulled Dom against him, the other man’s head pressed against his stomach. “I’m sorry Dom,” he whispered as he bent down to kiss Dom’s head.

  “I can’t find him,” Dom managed to say. “I’ve been searching for almost fifteen years, but I can’t find him. Ren’s gone too – his unit was ambushed last year just outside Kabul. Vin’s convinced he’s alive and goes back there every time there’s a new lead, but I just don’t know anymore. We were supposed to protect them both…”

  “Shhh,” Logan said as he bent over Dom. There was no point in trying to come up with some set of words that would take the pain away, so he just held Dom until he quieted. He hadn’t meant for their conversation to get so heavy, but he was glad that Dom felt comfortable enough to share his past with him.

  “I know what it feels like – that sense that you failed someone,” he admitted. Dom sat back amd Logan reached for his stool and dragged it closer.

  “You didn’t fail your sister,” Dom said as he used his arms to wipe at his damp face.

  “We both know that’s not true,” Logan said. “Even if I couldn’t have prevented the rape, I should have seen what was happening afterwards. I know why she didn’t tell me, but in my gut I knew something was off – I just thought it was related to losing our parents.”

  “I guess it’s easier to blame ourselves then it is to forgive our mistakes,” Dom said.

  Logan smiled at that. Everyone always told him it wasn’t his fault – excused him. This man was accepting that Logan couldn’t just let himself off the hook and he loved that.

  “Thank you,” he found himself saying as he brushed a kiss over Dom’s lips. He pulled back, then handed Dom his fork, then pulled his own food closer and dug in.

  “You’re a
fucking genius with food, Dom,” Logan managed to say around the pasta he crammed into his mouth. Dom laughed, then followed suit.

  ***

  “What is with you?” Gabe said as he bit into his burger.

  “What?” Logan asked as he glanced at his watch again.

  “You can’t sit still for even a second,” Gabe mused. “You haven’t even touched your food,” he commented.

  “Who hasn’t touched their food?” came Nell’s voice from somewhere behind him. Logan snagged up a fry and shoved it into his mouth. If the diner’s owner caught him just picking at the food her big bear of a husband, Pete, had prepared, Logan would never hear the end of it. Nell came to a stop at their booth and studied both his and Gabe’s plates intently.

  “Got any of the blueberry pie today?” Logan asked in attempt to divert her attention. The bulky woman smoothed back a stray gray hair, her features drawn tight as she looked between him and Gabe. She finally smiled and said, “You know I do, darlin.” She looked at Logan’s plate expectantly and Logan grabbed the tuna melt sitting in front of him and took a huge bite.

  “Be right back with your pie,” she said happily.

  “Me too,” Gabe called out. Nell gave him an inpatient look as she turned and headed for the dessert carousel at the end of the counter. The old-fashioned diner was as busy as ever, but it shouldn’t have surprised him that Nell was always nearby, her sharp ears focused on her favorite customers. He, Gabe and Shane had been coming to this place since they discovered it in school and Nell and her tattooed, food-loving chef husband had taken them all under their wings.

  “Bastard,” Logan muttered at Gabe when the man smirked at him.

  “Seriously, how are you holding up?” Gabe asked, all humor gone now.

  “It’s easier knowing Savannah is safe. All this time we thought he was gone – he could have gotten to her so easily.”

  “Have you talked to her?”

  Logan nodded. “She’s spending a lot of time with Shane’s mom. Dom has an office out there so Shane’s been doing some work here and there as he learns the business. It sounds like his relationship with his parents has improved a lot,” he mused.

  Gabe chuckled. “His dad actually called me last week. Invited me and Riley to come stay with them for Christmas.”

  Nell interrupted them with their pies and a fond look at them both before she meandered off again.

  “I was worried about you there for a while,” Gabe said as he ignored his lunch and started inhaling the French Silk pie Nell had placed in front of him.

  “What do you mean?”

  “You’ve been so withdrawn since the shooting. I mean, we expected it would be long road to recovery, but it was like you’d given up or something. You were like a fucking zombie at Thanksgiving.”

  Logan dropped his eyes. So much for his acting skills. Apparently everyone had seen through him anyway.

  “And you haven’t done anything with the bar since the fire. You worked so hard for that place and now it’s like you don’t care what happens to it.”

  Logan shrugged, then forced a couple more bites of sandwich down. He glanced at his watch again.

  “What the hell is with you and that watch? You said you didn’t have to work again till this weekend,” Gabe said in frustration.

  Logan drummed his fingers on the table in agitation, then blurted out, “I’m meeting someone this afternoon.”

  “Okay. And?” Gabe asked, Logan’s explanation clearly not enough.

  He wasn’t about to tell Gabe that in a few short hours he’d hopefully have Dom’s dick deep inside him so he hedged and changed the subject.

  “I’m thinking about selling the bar.”

  It was enough to get Gabe to stop shoveling pie into his mouth. He leaned back in the booth.

  “Why?” he asked, his tone even, non-judgmental.

  “All I see is him and me working there, talking strategy, business. The way he encouraged me, supported me. But I can hear her screaming,” he whispered. “I can hear Savannah screaming in the background and she’s begging me to help her, but it’s like I’m watching myself. I see myself standing there talking to Sam while’s she’s calling my name. I can’t warn myself about Sam. I can’t help her. I can’t do a fucking thing,” he admitted. “I hate everything about that place now. It took everything from me, from her.”

  Gabe sat silently, his dark eyes sharp and probing.

  “Shane says I shouldn’t let Sam take anything else, but the truth is I lost that bar the moment he came into our lives. I put Savannah in his sights. She chose to hurt herself to deal with her pain rather than risk me losing that place. I wish it had burned to the ground,” he said with more venom then he intended. He pushed the food away from him and fumbled to pull his wallet from his pants. He felt raw and vulnerable admitting the ugly truth to his friend and he just wanted to get the hell out of there.

  “You didn’t let me finish,” Gabe said.

  Logan looked at the nearly empty plates in front of Gabe. “Then finish. Or order something else,” he muttered as he pulled some money from his wallet.

  “You didn’t let me finish what I was saying about you.”

  Logan stilled, then remembered Gabe’s comments about him being a zombie at their last family get together.

  “Finish,” Logan said.

  “You look lighter today, happy. You smile when you check your watch and I’ve seen you check your phone a couple of times too.” Gabe leaned forward, his voice dropping slightly. “Is it because of this ‘someone’ you’re meeting?”

  Logan scrubbed a hand through his hair and nodded. Why was this so fucking hard?

  “You don’t owe me anything, Logan. I just like seeing you this way. It’s been too long.”

  “I don’t know how to tell if it’s just a physical thing or something more,” Logan finally said. “I thought if I acted on it I would have my answer, but I don’t.”

  “Yeah, our heads have a way of fucking things up, don’t they?” Gabe said as he began picking at Logan’s pie. The man ate like a horse, but had the physique of a heavyweight boxer. “Maybe you don’t need to figure it out right away.”

  “Maybe,” Logan mused and then glanced at his watch again.

  “Go,” Gabe said as he stuffed the last bite of Logan’s pie into his mouth. “And tell Dom I said hi.”

  ***

  Dom watched Logan get off the elevator and walk towards him. When the Concierge had buzzed him to let him know that Logan had arrived, Dom could have easily just unlocked the door and opened it a crack so Logan could let himself in. It probably would have looked a lot less desperate. But instead, there he stood, a grown man with a sizeable bank account, hundreds of employees, three homes, two jets at his disposal and an investment portfolio that would make most people drool – but what had he been reduced to? Standing at the door like a little girl waiting for her first date. It had been less than twenty-four hours since he’d seen the other man and yet he was overwhelmed with insecurity and nerves. He knew Logan was still on shaky ground in regards to their relationship and that every time the young man walked away from him, it could be for the last time. It was something he knew he had to accept, but doing so was proving to be harder than he thought.

  Logan flashed a smile at Dom which had his insides doing cartwheels and then the man was pressing him back into the doorframe, his expert lips stealing Dom’s breath. He opened automatically for Logan and settled his hands on the other man’s hips as his mouth was taken over.

  “I need to be inside you again,” Logan whispered against his lips before he flicked out his tongue to trace the outline of them. “I want you to fuck me till you come, then I’m going to fuck you so hard that you come again.”

  Dom couldn’t speak so he just nodded. Logan grabbed his hand and led him into the apartment. Baby was there to greet him and Logan gave him a quick pat as Dom slammed the door shut.

  “Where’s your room?” Logan asked, his voice firm, domi
nant. Dom’s dick twitched at the commanding tone and he pointed down the hallway to their left.

  “First door on the left,” he managed to say. Logan rewarded him with another kiss before pulling him in that direction. But when they got to the room, Dom skittered to a stop, his eyes on the king sized bed in front of him. His bed. His and Sylvie’s.

  Logan seemed to sense his hesitation. “Do you have a guest room?” he asked gently as he started to pull Dom back out of the room. Dom took a deep breath and held his ground.

  “It’s okay,” he said as he lost a little bit more of himself to Logan. He tugged Logan into the room. The other man studied him for a moment as if considering if he was telling the truth, then nodded and kissed him.

  Logan made quick work of their clothes, his mouth leaving Dom’s only long enough to get them both naked. Then things slowed dramatically as Logan examined Dom’s body, his long fingers drifting all over him. It was sensual torture and by the time Logan had finished his exploration, Dom’s cock was aching.

  “Lie back on the bed,” Logan ordered.

  Dom did as he was told, his body on fire. Logan climbed up next to him, but settled closer towards his feet and then just watched him some more. His perusal was like a physical stroke and Dom found himself touching the places Logan’s eyes lingered – his chest, his abdomen, his thighs. But when he reached for his cock, Logan said “No.” His fingers hovered just above the head of his dick as his eyes clashed with Logan’s. Dom had nearly always been in control in the bedroom so giving it up was hard…and a big turn on. He pulled his hand back and settled it on his chest as he watched Logan smile in satisfaction.

  “Do you know how perfect you are?” Logan asked as he finally shifted so he could lean over Dom and kiss him. They were soft, gentle kisses that had Dom begging for more. But Logan was on a mission and his tongue tormented Dom as it licked and sucked its way down his body. But it bypassed the part that needed his attention the most. More kisses all the way down to his feet before Logan returned to his side.