by Mj Fields
“Already knew that.”
“You gonna be okay with Johnny, Rev and Russ?”
“You gonna be fine with Titan flying up there with you?”
“Hell yes,” he laughs and grabs my shoulder, “Hate to let you in on this but the Earth is still rotating when you’re not up there. The sun still shines, the-”
“Fuck you,” I chuckle.
It’s quiet for a minute, “Three days,” we both say at the same time.
“You ain’t supposed to know this shit. Supposed to be focused on what you got going on at home.”
“I can focus on more than one thing at a time.”
“So can I, unless I’m up in something wet and hot.”
I shake my head, “When it’s yours to protect, that’ll all change.”
“You telling me you when you’re all up in Little Will you don’t-”
“When I’m with my wife,” I pause, hoping he catches the fact that I don’t like that nickname, because telling those two a hundred fucking times doesn’t seem to work. “I am thinking about how to keep her right where she is. Someday I’ll be able to ease up a bit but until then, I am always thinking of more than one thing at a damn time.”
Although I already knew they would be without me, it didn’t hit as hard until now.
“The enemy is different now.”
“Got it all under control, Irons; you focus on here, we’ll focus on the Middle East.”
“Same place, Shadows, different players.”
“Yeah, but the ones who got shit under control last time are coming back,” he looks at me and shakes his head, “We got this shit, Irons.”
“Don’t fuck up,” I warn.
“Wouldn’t think of it.”
“You going out tonight?” I ask.
“Fuck, yes, I am. Gonna be stuck in the desert for a while, need to power pound until then.” He looks at me, “You remember what that was like, right?”
“You see what I lay next to every night? I remember, but it doesn’t mean shit to me anymore.”
“I’m slaughtering the lamb before I leave,” he smirks. “Can’t tell me no.”
“I can and I will.”
“Fuck that, what happens if-”
“Don’t. You come home and then, you got my permission; hell, I’ll even host the dinner and lure her there.”
“You give me your word?”
“Just did.”
~*~
I walk into the house and see Frankie on the couch, holding Lily. She looks up at me, “Hi.”
“Hi, Angel.”
“Mom thinks if I ever want her to sleep in her own room, I have to make sure not to let her in our bed every night.”
I lean down and kiss her head, “What does Francesca think?”
She looks at me, giving me those eyes, the ones she gave Will all the damn time.
I lean down and give Lily a kiss on the head, “Sleep well, Firefly.”
Her eyes flutter open like tiny little wings dancing, “You came back.”
“Of course, I plan on doing that every night.” She sits up. “Wrap those little arms around my neck and don’t let go.”
She does and I scoop her up in one arm, “We’re gonna hop.”
“Jax,” Frankie half laughs, half scolds.
“Come on, Angel, I know you won’t sleep if you’re worrying that she’s not sleeping.” I look down at Lily, “Can’t shake that one, not ever. Whole family, your father included, loves like I’ve never seen or felt. Can you feel it?”
She smiles at me and nods a sleepy little nod, “All the way down to your bones?” She shrugs, “Gotta let it, when you feel it, you will never have to worry again. Not ever.” I set her on the bed, “I have to get into my pajamas, and Frankie has to help me out, you good?” She nods. “We’ll be right back.”
Once in the bathroom, I shut the door and lock it.
“How did it go?” she asks immediately.
I pull my shirt over my head, then unbuckle my pants, shove them down and let them drop to the ground.
“Jax,” she gasps when my erection springs free.
“Sink, Angel, ass in the air.”
“She is right out there,” she points to the door.
I hop over, turn her around and push her down; she giggles, “Are you crazy?”
“No,” I pull her pajama pants down and line myself up. “Gotta be quick.”
“Jax, this is not, oh god,” she cries into the hand towel when I slide half in.
“Fuck,” I roll my hips, stretching her.
“Jax, what are you thinking?” I push in harder. “You’re fucking kidding me,” she hisses.
I smirk and reach my hand up under her shirt and squeeze her tits, “Easy, Jaxson.”
“Since when does my wife like me to take it easy?” I slide in and out slower.
“There is a child,” her breath hitches and she moans, “In our bed.”
“Let me ask you a question.” She looks up at me from the towel. “How many kids did flat Frankie want?”
She smirks and shakes her head. I grab her neck and pound fully into her. “How the hell do you think she got them?”
“A magazine,” she sasses me and I power into her harder. “Okay, okay.”
“Good. Now, Angel, ass in the air. I need this bad right now.”
“Take me, take whatever you need,” she says as her beautiful ass rises.
“Taking you with me,” I groan as I fuck my wife, ass in the air.
“I know you will.”
Once in bed and Lily is asleep between us, she looks over at me, “How did it go?”
“Everything’s gonna be fine. I promise. Sleep and we’ll discuss it on our way to the funeral home.”
~*~
We get in the vehicle, just the two of us, and my wife is driving. “You nervous?” I ask.
“No. I’m with you,” she nods.
“You feeling okay today?”
“Better, why?”
“Something Laurie mentioned yesterday at my appointment.”
“Your what?” She looks at me.
“Shit.” I forgot we hadn’t discussed anything. “Start at the top. Paperwork for Lily-”
“No, Dad already filled me in. You can tell me about how that went with your mother after you tell me why my husband is at the,” she stops and a tear spills out.
“Angel,” I wipe it away.
“Spill it, Jaxson.”
“I’ve been having headaches, pretty bad ones.”
“For how long?”
“Since the accident, but-”
“Since the accident!”
“Frankie, I had a head injury, remember?”
“Of course, I remember, I’m not the one-”
“Can’t fly anymore.” She stops and looks over at me. “There is some blurred vision-”
“Oh God,” she covers her mouth.
“Migraines, Frankie. MRI showed nothing, but it’s not safe for me to fly until -”
“I’m so sorry, Jax.”
“I was planning on resigning my commission already, it’s not a loss. But Laurie thinks you should come see her.”
“I’m fine. Just a nervous belly.”
“Yet you say you aren’t,” I stop talking as soon the thought crosses my mind.
“Aren’t what?”
“When did you have your period last?” I watch her face, deep in concentration, and then she looks at me and shakes her head no. “No what, Angel?”
“It’s not a good time.” I can’t help but laugh out loud. “It’s not funny.”
She starts crying.
“You wanna rethink that?”
“I don’t wanna talk about it. One thing at a time. Just one thing at a time, Jaxson.”
I look down so she won’t see me smile, “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Yeah, okay.”
“Good, now tell me about Lily.”
I take a deep breath, and try to stop the internal
smile from showing on the outside.
“Jaxson?”
“Give me a minute.”
“I gave you a lifetime-”
I laugh because she is so damn nervous, yet she won’t admit it, and I am so hopeful. “I want two.”
“I’ll give you three.”
“If you’ll give me all that, I am gonna ask for more.”
“I’ll give that too.”
“Is it possible that you have our child-”
“Shh,” she says and laughs as tears fall freely down her cheek.
“I’ll take that as a yes.”
“But if not, Jax,” her voice quivers, “I don’t want you to be upset. I know it was a blow that Lily was not yours.”
“Briefly. Then, when I knew she was Will’s, it didn’t matter to me either way. Meant even more knowing that you and your parents have a part of him back.”
“If I’m not pregnant now, I’m gonna get so knocked up for you, Jaxson Irons,” she pulls over and lunges over the console to hug me.
“Angel, park, brakes, fuck!”
She starts laughing and crying, and laughing more, as she pushes the brake. “Sorry, sorry.”
I throw it in park and hug her back.
“I love you so much. Right now, with everything that’s going on, you are still looking forward to us, to happiness, to love and family and-”
“Say it again.”
“I love you.”
“And again.”
“I love you,” her smile spreads across her face.
“And again.” I hold her face in my hand.
“I. Love. You.”
“And I live for you. Not my parents. Not the Navy. I live for you and our family. I never knew how hungry I was for love until you. I will never forget that, regardless of what devastation or chaos surrounds us. I have something I never even knew existed because of you. I wish I could give you something easier, something-”
“Jaxson, you are all I have ever wanted. You.”
“You ready to go?”
“I’m ready to stand beside you and please, when it hits you, really hits you, don’t hide from me. I know there’s a lot, and I mean a lot, going on, but don’t shut down on me.”
I nod, “You need to realize that if this is all the reaction that comes out of me, it’s because that’s what I got from them. I grieved when we lost Will.”
“I wish I could have been there for you.”
“You were. All I could think about was you.”
WE PULL UP TO THE entrance and there is already a line of people waiting to say their goodbyes to Jonathon Irons. My door is opened and I get out. I quickly walk to Jaxson’s side of the vehicle. He opens the door and I take his crutch from him. I look behind me and see another man in a suit pushing a wheelchair out for Jax.
He steps out of the SUV and it’s the first time I take him in. He has on his Dress Blues and he looks so handsome. He pulls his aviators down to cover his eyes and shakes his head no to the man with the wheelchair.
I see Shadows and Titan at the door with Colonel Smith. They hold the door open and Jax stops to salute his commanding officer.
As soon as we walk in, the scent of the flowers overwhelms and nauseates me. His mother is walking towards us and I am looking for a bathroom.
I spot one and look up at Jax, “Don’t feel well.”
He smiles, he freaking smiles, and I take off. I pass his mother and make it to the bathroom just in time to hurl in the sink.
I didn’t eat this morning because I was not feeling well. Now I felt even worse.
There is a knock on the door, “Just one minute, please.”
“It’s me.”
I wipe my mouth and walk over to open the door. Jax slides in and I see his mother standing behind him before the door shuts.
“I’m okay, I just need gum or something.”
“What set it off?”
“The smell.”
“If you can’t do this right now, Frankie, I completely understand. I will have -”
“I just need gum.” I open my purse and see a baggie. Inside the baggie is crackers. A note is inside in my mother’s handwriting, “Eat me.”
“What?”
I pull out the baggy. “Apparently, my mother is still packing me lunch.”
He smiles softly, “She already knows.”
“Knows what?” I ask as I shove a cracker in my mouth.
“She knows her daughter. Did the cracker make you feel better?”
“Yes,” I turn and rinse out the sink, then my mouth, and then I shove two more crackers in my mouth.
“You don’t have to do this.”
“Yes, I do. I’m just going to smell you.”
“What?”
“I hate the smell of the flowers. I like the smell of you.”
“Good to know. I like the smell of you, too.”
Jaxson and I sit in the front row, his mother on the opposite side of me, and Jax has his arm behind me. My head rests on him and I smell him the entire time.
His mother looks me up and down a few times and I focus on Jax because nothing else calms my stomach, my nerves, more than him.
After the burial, we walk out of the cemetery gates and to the parking lot. We are stopped by a news crew asking all about Congressman Irons’ accident, and about who the Irons family would endorse for governor.
“Thank you for your questions, but at this time we are still grieving his loss. Today, surrounded by friends and family, we hope to heal a bit. But -”
“Lieutenant Irons, did Mimi Deveroux’s suicide have anything to do with your nuptials to the mystery woman?” One reporter asks while another chimes in, “How could you get married the day after your father died?”
He holds his hand up, stopping the questions.
“The mystery woman, my wife, Francesca, has been a part of my life for a long time,” he says roughly. “Before my accident we were married and paperwork was lost during all the chaos. I re-married my wife, because you never know what tomorrow holds.”
His arm is securely around my waist and he has me tightly against him.
“I ask that you please give us time to grieve, Mimi, and my fathers-”
“Who will your family endorse to take your father’s place in the Governor’s race? It’s just over a year away?”
“No more questions at this time, please.”
They don’t move or stop, “He asked you all to move, I ask the same. Let us by.”
The crowd goes silent and I freeze.
“Let’s go, Angel,” he says and kisses the top of my head.
We walk towards the car, everyone moving out of our way. I look up and my vision is blurred by the sun as a woman approaches.
“Francesca Cruz?”
“Irons,” I correct and put my hand up shading my eyes.
“I’m Maria Sanchez, anchor for-”
“I know who you are,” I nod.
“Is there something we can do for you, Miss Sanchez?”
“You have a very strong woman behind you,” she says.
“Beside me,” he corrects.
“Even better. I want an interview with her.”
“With me? Why?”
“I like you. I like your spunk, and your belief in your husband. I have no doubt who will be our next Governor, if that’s something the two of you are considering.”
“No decisions have been made,” I answer before Jaxson has a chance, “but if that’s something my husband wants, I will stand beside him.”
“I was thinking of you Mrs. Irons.”
“What?” I gasp.
“Think about it, talk about it, and let me know. Here’s my card. I have looked into some things and would love to be the one you two can trust with your story, before someone else has a chance to twist and taint it.” She looks at Jaxson, “I’m very sorry for your loss.”
She walks away and we quickly walk to the vehicle. His mother is ahead of us, in a limo Jax refused to ride in, wi
th Colonel Smith and some others introduced to me but in a haze of nausea, they are lost to me.
“You trust that woman?” Jax asks as he leans over and rubs my belly after latching my seatbelt for me.
“Jaxson!” I swat his hand away.
“If there isn’t one there it needs to happen. That’s all I thought about through the services. Great distraction. Welcome distraction.”
“She walked into the bathroom at the fundraiser, after Mimi and I got into it.”
“Into what?” he growls.
“Why a woman of my class and culture wasn’t fit to be your wife,” I say as I pull away from the curb to follow the car in front of us. “I was mortified because, well, fuck may or may not have come out rather loudly. After that meeting, I assume she heard everything.”
“Do you trust her?”
“I think I do, yes.”
“I think she’s right. I think you should run for-”
“Think again. Being beside you is perfect. Politics is not my thing.”
“That’s exactly why you should-”
“You know, if you don’t want to run don’t, but I am not. So stop this insane conversation, Jaxson Irons.”
~*~
I am stuck with a different kind of nausea when we drive up to the gates of what I assume is Jaxson’s family home.
“6372 is the code.” I punch it in and the gate opens.
The driveway is long and paved in a deep red brick. Once we are past the shade of the towering cypress trees, I see the house. It’s huge and I am immediately intimidated by the fact that it could easily fit at least three of my family’s homes inside.
The grounds are perfectly manicured, not one thing looks out of place, well except maybe me.
“Park in front of the garage,” he says.
“Which one?” I ask and immediately realize the remark may have come off a bit snide.
“That one’s fine. Just don’t want anyone in our vehicle.”
I look at him and he looks distressed. He looks over at me, “I’m not ignorant. I know I am on their radar. First attempt failed.”
“You think it was them?”
“Gut says no. But until I have the fucking papers for Lily in my hands and have a heart to heart with Colonel Smith to see what he knows and has been hiding, I won’t let my guard down. I damn sure won’t let it down around you.”