by Mj Fields
I unbuckle and get out, walk around the vehicle and Jaxson is hopping on his crutch beside me. “I hate this fucking thing.”
“Laurie said another week and maybe you can get a walking cast put on.”
“Not soon enough.”
When we walk in the house, I am shocked by just how elegantly furnished the home is. The exterior is stunning but the interior is even more so. The floors are marble and so are the walls. The grand staircase splits at the top and goes in two directions. The chandelier hanging in the center is crystal, Swarovski, no doubt, and accented in hues of gold.
Beyond the staircase is a large room that is already full of people. Most of the men are in uniform and the women in black. I stand out in navy blue. I didn’t want to wear black to a funeral, not again.
I look up at Jax and he is focused to the left of the room. I follow his eyes and see Arthur Deveroux sitting on a couch surrounded by men in expensive suits, politicians I assume.
“He wasn’t at the service or burial.”
“Wouldn’t look like a grieving father who had just lost his only daughter. Fucking -”
“Jaxson,” his mother kisses his cheek. “Come this way.”
“Say hello to my wife, Mother. Then tell Deveroux to meet me in father’s study.”
“Francesca,” she nods then looks back at Jax, “It can wait awhile longer.”
“No, it can’t.”
Jaxson opens the door to the study and it is bigger than I would have expected. I’m not sure why. He shuts the door behind him and turns to me. “You alright?”
His arm snakes around my waist and he pulls me close to him.
“This place is.” I stop and shake my head.
His lips turn up in the corner, “I forgot you’ve never been here. Will had the same reaction. It’s a fucking museum, a show place. Not a home.”
“It’s huge.”
“All part of the game. All for show,” he kisses the top of my head and then rests his chin on it. “Let’s go have a seat.”
He sits first and lifts his leg up on the leather couch. “Sore?”
“Yeah.” He nods.
“Do you want some pain-?”
“Not here.”
“I understand.”
He pats the spot in front of him, “Sit with me.”
I sit on the edge of the couch, facing him. He holds up his hand and I hold mine to his. He links our fingers and closes his eyes.
“Tired?”
“Fucking exhausted,” he says and leans back against the arm of the couch. “You okay?”
“Tired. Missing Lily. Wanting my husband to have a day or two, maybe a year, to relax and enjoy his life.”
He opens his eyes and looks at me with concern, “I enjoy our life, Angel.”
“Not enough. You-”
I stop when the door opens and Jax looks past me. His jaw twitches and he takes his phone out and sends a message.
“Are you comfortable, Jaxson? Your mother is out there alone dealing with-”
“Cut the shit, Deveroux. Do you have the file or not?” He sits up.
“Yes, but there are conditions.”
“My conditions.”
The door opens again and Titan walks in with Lawrence, and behind them two more men.
Deveroux looks up and then back at Jaxson.
“Your lawyer is here, Lily’s lawyer, and the family court judge. May as well get this done so we can let that little girl be a little girl, with a family who loves her.”
Deveroux and Jaxson eyeball each other.
The man, I assume is Deveroux’s lawyer, sits next to him. “Are you sure about this, Arthur? This is a hard time for you and your wife.”
Lawrence unbuttons his suit coat and sits down, opening his briefcase on his lap. “Your wife needs to sign as well.”
“He has power of attorney,” Deveroux’s lawyer states.
Lawrence looks up at Deveroux, no expression on his face.
“My wife has some mental health issues,” Deveroux grumbles.
“Gentlemen, I see no reason to draw this out. We have all been through a lot over the past couple months, maybe longer. We have a chance to do right by this little girl.”
Lawrence pulls out a folder, “I agree, let’s get this over with.”
When Deveroux has finished signing, everyone except Jax, me and Titan leave the room with the promise of Lawrence to file the paperwork today.
“She’s ours,” I smile and feel the tears well in my eyes.
“Yes, she is.”
An hour later, we walk out of the house that Jax was raised in. In his hands, he carries a Bible.
WE WALK INTO THE HOUSE, our home, and are greeted by Frankie’s parents and the biggest smile imaginable. Lily stands, wringing her hands, appearing as if she wants to jump out of her skin.
Not for long though; Frankie is just as eager to get to her. She kicks off her heels and nearly runs to Lily, swoops her up in her arms and hugs her, “We missed you.”
“You did?” Lily whispers.
“Horribly.” After a moment she sets her back on her feet. “What did you do all day? Did you have fun? Did you-”
“Come here, Firefly,” I say and Lily looks between Frankie and me, torn as to what to do. “I get a hug then you can answer all those questions Frankie is firing at you.”
“Awe,” Frankie says and covers her mouth. I know she is trying not to get overly emotional just as much as I know my own name.
What she doesn’t know is that her emotions, sad, mad, glad, happy, any of them, are such a welcome addition to the man I want to be, the man I will be.
Emotions are not weakness, they are part of feeling.
Feelings that for too long I have managed to turn off, to be the man I was born and bred to be. The man that is bent over hugging William’s daughter. William, who introduced me to what family truly is. William who deserved to know his children, William, who I would never let down. I will take care of his child the same way he would. I will love, protect and adore her. I will teach her how to be strong, yet still love and feel. I will do this for my brother. William, the strongest man I have ever known.
“I need to ask you something, Firefly,” I say as I look at Frankie. “Do you want to see your parents?”
She looks around, “Does that mean I am gonna go back with them? Because I really don’t want to. I never saw them anyways, they are always gone for work. And I don’t want another nanny. They don’t seem to stay around long no matter how good I am,” her eyes fill with tears, “And Francesca said she would be with me.” She sucks in a breath and her lip quivers.
“Francesca, your grandparents, me, all the people here, are your family, Firefly. We aren’t gonna let you go back. I just wanted to know if you wanted to see them again before they went back.”
Frankie is now in front of her, wiping her tears, “We love you, all of us, and I promised you I would fight to my death before I let anyone take you away. William would have too. He would have loved you so much.”
“We love you-”
“How do you love me? I don’t understand. I-”
“Never understood it myself,” I put my hand on her shoulder, “But I do now. It’s a feeling that you can’t hold back and once you let it out, you never want to hold it back in again.”
“If you want to say goodbye to them, Lily, it’s okay and we will go with you,” William Sr. says.
“Okay. If that’s what you think I should do.”
And it was exactly what I thought she should do. She needed to be the one to let them go. She needed to feel as if she had that right. Only then would she feel a true freedom from those that hurt her. Even if she didn’t know just how awful she had been treated. Because as much as I wanted to shelter her from that, the people in this room, myself included, love her. Loving her the way she should be loved, deserved to be loved, was going to give her the knowledge of just how wronged she had been. We would help her through it, all of us, but I ne
eded to let her feel strong. Come hell or high-water, this little firefly was going to feel empowered and loved. She would be given the opportunity to shine. I would make sure of it.
Dinner was already prepared when we arrived. Rosa had made steak enchiladas, a favorite of William’s. Every time we came to his home she would make them.
“Lily helped make these.” Rosa smiles as she sets the tray on the dining table.
“That’s a good thing,” I smile. “Or we may starve when your grandmother isn’t around.”
“Jaxson!” Frankie snaps at me and her parents laugh.
Lily looks confused. “Lily, I am a terrible cook; he’s joking, we would never starve.”
“No, we wouldn’t,” I wink at Lily. “There is a whole drawer full of take-out menus in the-”
I get hit in the face with a flying napkin and Frankie laughs, as do her parents and, eventually, Lily even laughs.
“I can teach you.” Lily smiles at Frankie.
“I would love that.”
Tonight we don’t bother putting Lily in her bed; she and Frankie are curled up in ours. Frankie is reading to her, dragging her finger across each word so that Lily can follow along. I know why she is doing this. To help Lily. God, I love her more and more every day.
I make my way out to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water and William Sr. walks out of the room he and Rosa are staying in.
“Not tired, son?”
“I am exhausted but I sent Colonel Smith a text.”
“You make a decision?”
“One was made for me. I’m not medically fit to fly.”
“You okay?”
“I’m fine.”
“Jaxson, it’s been your life.”
I think about the Bible I have yet to touch, the one Father left a note in, the one that holds the secrets to my future. No, not my future, the future of a pawn.
“This is my life, my privilege. What my parents laid before me was a responsibility I never should have agreed to.”
“Then walk away from it. Jaxson, just say enough is enough and walk away.”
“Big decision to make. When I am done looking into some things my father left for me, I will make that choice. But William, you all are my family.”
“Agreed. Let us help you.”
“Will do, when I know what I am facing.”
“You’re facing a man who thinks now that your father is gone he has the backing of the,” he pauses as if the next word he speaks is going to leave an awful taste in his mouth, “Republican party for his run for governor. Your father was his way into politics.”
I can’t help but chuckle, “That word hurt?”
“Yes,” he smirks, “And after this mess, I know that it’s both sides, left and right, that are diseased. Never wanted that for William, but he and I did talk about why it was important. He believed in your ability. He believed you could be objective. I trusted my son. He believed you could help reform the system. Change things, even.”
“And what do you believe?” It was a very hard question to ask because I knew William would tell me exactly what he believed, whether I wanted to hear it or not.
“I believe it would take an act of God, son. But from what I have seen you endure over the past few months, I believe you are meant to be here for a reason, Jaxson. Williams’s death crushed us. It made a very strong family weak. I wasn’t sure Francesca would survive and if she didn’t, there was no way Rosa would. I wouldn’t have been much better. Now we have not one, but two, grandchildren and my wife thinks that you two are hiding something from us. Regardless, we have a larger family now than before. We have part of Will back, which breathes life into our family. Our daughter is showing a fierceness that we never saw before. All since you came into our lives again. It’s made us stronger. Had you asked me that question before, I would have said run. But now I know Will was right. I know you can change things. There is no way to run from fate, Jaxson, so I say take what is in your grasp and do so with a vengeance.”
I sat for a moment, considering all he had just said. Soaking in the support of a man who doesn’t have an agenda of his own. His encouragement came from a different place than any other.
“Alright, but you and Rosa need to be here.”
“Of course.”
“And you need to change parties.”
“You’ve lost your damn mind,” he laughs and I do, too. “I will vote for you.”
“I must be crazy to even consider this.”
“I think you’d be crazy to not go after your dream-”
“My and William’s dream.”
“Then do it for him.” He looks at me with conviction. “Goodnight, Jaxson.”
“Before you go to bed. After the guys deploy, I want to pack us all up and take off for a few weeks. Are you alright with that?”
“Where are we headed?”
“A place that is safe, a place that was intended as a getaway when this all started happening. A place William, Titan, Shadows, and I dreamt up and made happen.”
“You four built a fort?” He smiles.
“Yes, we did.”
~*~
I walk into Colonel Smith’s office, “Have a seat.” I sit down. “I’m sure you already know what I’m about to say,” he gets up and shuts his door. “So we will have this conversation here and then we will be going to lunch.”
“With all due respect, sir, I would really like to spend some time with Shadow and Titan before they leave.”
“Understood, but that’s a negative.” Anger boils a little but I stow it. “Your medical report shows that you are not fit to fly. I am willing to allow you to be released of obligation.”
“Thank you, sir.”
“Paperwork is gonna take you a while, you can get that done with Sully. I’d also like to offer you a civilian job that may come up in the next few months after you have healed. You are one of the best I have, this country has, Jaxson.”
“I appreciate the kind words. I will consider it.”
He looks at me and his eyes narrow. He doesn’t say anything more until he stands. “Just want to let you know that I retire in October.”
“I hope you have a great, relaxing retirement. You deserve it, sir.”
He huffs as he stands, “See you in two hours, Lieutenant.”
I send Frankie a text telling her what is going on. I let her know that I would love to have a deployment dinner, and against my better judgment, I ask her to invite her friends Mary and Renee. There is a reason for this; Shadows isn’t the reason, but it will add some amusement to my evening.
She said she would make sure everything was perfect, I remind her of where the take out menus are. I received a picture of one finger. God, I love her.
After signing papers for two hours, Sully takes them and gives me a salute. “You’ll be missed around here.”
“You know my number. I won’t be far away.”
I walk out and as much as I want this for my family, I am struck with a feeling of loss. This has been my family for years. The Navy has been my life.
“Get in,” I look up as Colonel Smith rolls down the passenger side window, “That’s an order, Lieutenant. You aren’t free of me yet.”
I look in the backseat and Frankie is sitting in the back, “What the fuck-”
“You get your ass in here boy,” he laughs.
I get in, “You okay, Angel?”
“Yes, I’m fine,” she smiles. “He’s a little pushy but-”
“She asked your boys if I was okay. If you ask me,” he pulls away from the sidewalk, “She’s more of a hard ass than you.”
Frankie smiles and leans forward, “Remind me to apologize to him at some point.”
“No need, Mrs. Irons.” He laughs, “Now sit back and relax. We’ll go to the beach and grab a bite, it’s a beautiful day.”
I find it odd that he turns up the radio, blasts it actually, but then again, nothing is as it seems nowadays.
He pulls into the parkin
g lot of Community Beach and we all get out.
Once I have Frankie by my side, I feel a little bit relaxed.
We sit at a table and he chuckles. “I stopped by the house to invite her to lunch with us. She told me no. Then I had to speak to Russ. He made a phone call and she said on one condition. He dropped her off right outside of the base and she rode in with me. Never heard of Russ but he has a military clearance badge that got him on base and he followed us right up until you came out.”
“I will have a talk with him. No disrespect, but it’s a little fucked up that I wasn’t informed.”
“You needed to get your paperwork completed and I needed to make this look like I was taking one of my men to lunch and she was a perfect cover for any unfriendlies watching.”
“Unfriendlies?” I ask and cross my arms.
He takes in a deep breath and looks at Frankie. “I am apprehensive about speaking freely in front of her. Something tells me she already knows a hell of a lot more than she should.”
“She knows everything. Has to.” I look at her. “She’s stubborn as hell, but part of my team.”
“Team?”
“Yes.” I give him nothing more.
“Your father and I were thick as thieves, much like you and your team. When he decided to run, or rather, your grandfather told him he would run someday, we were younger than you.” He looked up in the air. “We had known each other for years, even before your mother.”
“I’m sorry for your loss,” Frankie says sadly.
He gives her a nod. “Back on task. Arthur has the backing of the men your father should have told you about. But only because of a little blackmailing on the left side. It’s a twisted game. One your father and I vowed to change until things changed.” He takes a deep breath and continues, “Some book passed down from father to son. Anyway, unless you step up, you’ll be supporting Deveroux. The man who has helped your mother keep a secret while she’s thought she has been protecting you for years now.”
“Lily, Will’s daughter,” I say, letting him know I was aware of her.
“Yes,” He looked at Frankie, “You brought her back with Odin.”
“How do you know him?” she asks.
He shrugs and his eyes lock with mine. “How long have you known everything that’s going on here?”