Unwilling (Book One of the Compelled Trilogy 1)

by Kristen Pike

  Something inside Rowan was crumbling. She ate less and less and barely slept, nightmares plaguing her when she slumbered. Jace was furious and thought if Elias stood right in front of him now, he would strangle the life from the wretched man, for all the pain he had caused Rowan.

  Barton and Vordis abandoned their group after that, saying that they wished they could stay, for her, but not if it could cost them their lives. Vordis said he needed to be with his daughter, to see if she was safe. Barton just shrugged sadly as he departed. Rowan could not blame them and as she looked around at their dwindling group of six, she wondered if they were indeed tangling themselves up with the devil. She had told Jace that night that he should run far away from her, before it was too late. He didn’t respond, just held her tighter.

  With almost every tale they were told they were shown a picture; the eye. The image was forever seared into Rowan’s brain. She saw it when she was awake, every time she blinked or breathed, or cried. She saw it when she dreamed, the eye blinking at her menacingly. It floated over all the dead she saw, their bodies thrashing, screaming a hollow scream that bounced off the recesses of her mind, begging and pleading to be let go, for help. Rowan would reach for them in her dreams but chains held her fast, as unyielding as they were cold. And always her brother’s laughter rebounded inside her, twisting her heart into something tiny and shriveled.

  “We should get going.” Rowan said coming back from thoughts of the past, she blinked to clear her mind, the thin, pale trees around her coming into focus. Her voice echoed through the forest, her hand slipped off the tree, falling limply to her side. She walked silently through the trees towards Navarin, possibly the smallest village in Lamarina. I am thankful it is just Jace and me. Rowan thought, the men should enjoy a day in town. And I won’t have to be subjected to more of their pitying glances.

  Rowan knew Jace was walking behind her, she could hear branches and leaves crackling under his feet. They were not too far from the village; Rowan could see the handful of cabins in the distance, their blocky frames built close together to protect them from outsiders.

  Third house from the left, Rowan recited. She had met Gavin in the previous city’s market. He had been buying food for his community, as they weren’t big enough to have their own Market. He had told her where he lived in a hushed tone, saying he had something important to share with her. One, two, there it is. Rowan counted, eyeing the weather worn cabin. It looked small, but well built.

  The home did not have a porch so Rowan walked right up to the door; she raised her hand to knock but before she could make contact the door swung open and Gavin stuck his head out of the frame, swiveling to look at the area surrounding them, his eyes narrowed into slits.

  “Gavin?” Rowan questioned, furrowing her brow and letting her arm fall uselessly to her side. Gavin grabbed her wrist and yanked her into the cabin. Rowan jerked forward, stumbling into the dark house.

  “Hey!” Jace cried out, rushing after Rowan as Gavin slammed the door, leaving them in almost blackness.

  “He has spies everywhere.” Gavin whispered. Rowan could just make out his silhouette in the gloomy room.

  “My brother?” Rowan asked hesitantly, looking around for the unseen spies. There is nothing there, Rowan chided herself.

  “Your brother IS looking for you. He says he will pay good money for any one that brings you to him.” Rowan took a step back unconsciously, suddenly cautious of the man. Who was staring at Rowan as though she were a piece of juicy meat and he had not eaten in a very, very long time.

  “I think we had better go.” Jace said to Rowan, his eyes never leaving Gavin. Out of the corner of her eye, Rowan could see Jace touch the small knife he always carried with him as they backed toward the door.

  Rowan could feel the door handle press against her back and she reached around to open it. Gavin stood, breathing heavy, his eyes watching them. The doorknob creaked as Rowan turned it, Rowan watched Gavin wearily as the door inched opened.

  Gavin sprang forward, grabbing Rowan by the front of her shirt and trying to yank her forward. Rowan kicked at Gavin, connecting with his shin but he held on tightly to her, his eyes gleaming manically. Jace reacted beside her, slashing In front of him with his dagger. Gavin screamed, a blood curdling sound that made Rowan’s heart drop, but Gavin released her and Rowan stumbled back, flinging the door open and letting sunlight pour into the dark house.

  Jace and Rowan ran from the house, not bothering to close the door behind them, Gavin screamed in rage behind them but they did not turn back. Their feet pounded in unison as they escaped into the tree’s, breathing heavy.

  They hurried away from the small village in silence and did not speak a word to each other until they reached the camp, where they were welcomed with a bustle of questions.

  “Did you hear your brother’s message?” Pickard exclaimed, his face animated as he hurried up to her.

  “It’s all anyone is talking about.” Jonquil fired out, his cheeks flushed. Galamee watched her from the shadows with a mischievous glint in his eyes and Rowan shivered.

  “Yes I heard.” Rowan answered and Jace tensed beside her.

  “You’re going to him right?” Jonquil asked, shifting from one foot to the other, looking at her intently.

  “Of course. Were still a good two weeks away from Daria, though, with all the backtracking we’ve had to do.” Rowan answered, her head beginning to throb right behind her eyes. Rowan rubbed her forehead. “I think I’ll retire for the evening.” She yawned, not realizing how late it had grown. The sun had already set and a cool breeze had sprang up, Rowan yawned again, feeling suddenly exhausted.

  Jace placed a hand on her lower back and propelled her forward toward her pallet. She sank to it gratefully and smiled up at him. “I love you Rowan.” Jace whispered and she felt the familiar tightening of her chest, her heart fluttering. “Sleep well, love.” He said and retreated to his own bed though he did not lie down but sat propped against a tree turned in her direction.

  I want you to stay with me, Rowan thought sleepily, laying her head down. She knew exactly where Jace slept, could feel his presence near her though her eyes were closed, five or so feet away, close enough to be near her, far enough to be appropriate. I could go to him, Rowan blushed, turning on her side so her back was to Jace, as if that made the temptation lessen.

  Rowan closed her eyes, breathing deeply and soon she drifted into unconsciousness.

  ҉ ҉ ҉

  Rowan bolted awake in her bed, her eyebrows slammed low over her eyes as she searched the trees surrounding her.

  SNAP. Another twig broke closer, the air around her paused, her heart beating frantically in her chest. It’s just an animal, a deer. A big squirrel. SNAP. Rowan held her breath…

  A hand slid around her mouth and Rowan lurched back, her scream barely audible through the thick fingers. Another arm slid around her waist, jerking her from her bed and away from the sleeping forms of the others.

  Rowan kicked out with her legs and her abductor stumbled but regained his balance, squeezing Rowan tightly. Her heart stammered in her chest, her eyes darting frantically. HELP! She yelled inside her head, trying once again to buck her captor.

  The man behind her screamed and released her unexpectedly. Rowan stumbled forward, whipping around. “Galamee?” She said incredulous. Chev stood behind Galamee, his strong hands wrapped around Galamee’s throat.

  “Please. Please.” Galamee begged, spit flying from his mouth. Rowan saw the glint of a knife; Chev looked at Rowan, a quick flicker of eye contact.

  “Chev don-“ Rowan yelled, vaulting toward the two men but Chev pulled the blade back, thrusting it through Galamee’s chest.

  Galamee spurted, blood seeping from the wound in his chest. Chev pulled the knife out and Galamee fell to the ground, dead before he hit it.

  “Rowan!” Jace called and Rowan turned shaking to find Pickard, Mills, and Jonquil standing behind her. Jace was running toward her and Rowan stum
bled into him as he folded her into his arms, tucking her head into his neck as if to shield her from the rest of the world, to shield her from Galamee- Galamee’s dead body.

  “He’s dead.” Rowan stammered, shaking her head in disbelief.

  “That’s not your fault Rowan.” Jace said, pulling away to look her in the eyes. “It’s not your fault, he was trying to kidnap you, and he could have hurt you. It’s not your fault.” He repeated firmer.

  Rowan shook her head, out of the corner of her eye she could see Pickard and Chev digging while Jonquil paced back and forth, muttering to himself, a stormy expression plastered to his face. “It is my fault, I did this. I did that.” Rowan stammered, hot tears pricking at her eyes. “He’s dead, like Tomman-“

  “Rowan-“

  “All of this is my fault, Elias-“

  “Rowan!-“

  “Tomman, Galamee, everyo-“

  Jace leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers and the world shifted slowed stopped and then exploded in a torrent of bright greens and soft blues and brilliant reds and the want the need to have this moment last forever, raining down on her and stealing away every thought every breath. Rowan’s body filled with fire, pulsing and writhing inside her until every molecule in her stopped and started again, shuddering and flying.

  Jace wrapped an arm around her waist and his other hand slid to the back of her neck. Rowan placed her open palm on his chest; it felt like his heart was going to burst out of him and hers was beating just as hard. Every moment of her life, every second every minute every hour every miniscule thought every breath every rising and falling of the sun every step and every fall, led to this moment, this press of his lips on hers, right now, with the world spinning furiously around them and the world shattering under their feet and this pounding of their hearts and the press of their bodies against each other’s and it would never be enough to satisfy her. Rowan wanted more, needed it as if she would die and the earth would open up and swallow her whole if she didn’t have all of Jace and have him right now because nothing could ever compare to the feeling that was coursing through her body as if she had been struck by lightning and she had died, oh gods had she died because nothing could ever feel like this.

  Jace pulled away, his eyes stormy and glazed. Rowan blinked rapidly dragging oxygen into her body. Jace breathed just as heavily as she did, his arm still wrapped around her.

  “Jace.” Rowan sighed, her thoughts swirling rapidly in her head and not a one of them made sense.

  Jace led her toward his pallet. “I, uh, I think maybe you should sleep with me from now on. For safety reasons.” He said sheepishly. Rowan did not need any light to know that he was blushing.

  Rowan lay down and Jace sat beside her, absently running his fingers up and down her arm. “Thank you.” Rowan said, still finding it hard to breathe and aching inside.

  “For what?”

  “Just for being you.” Rowan answered closing her eyes. “I don’t deserve you.” She mumbled, feeling exhausted, her heart still thumping excitedly.

  “You deserve the world Rowan.” Jace told her, stooping to kiss her forehead.

  “My brother said that we deserve the world.” Rowan said absently.

  “And your brother’s actions prove that he doesn’t deserve anything, certainly not your loyalty or love.” Jace answered, “but let’s not think of him right now. Just sleep.”

  “Hmm.” Rowan responded. How can I be falling asleep right now? She yelled at herself, willing her eyes to stay open though they continued to close.

  “Goodnight love.” Jace whispered, stretching out beside her and pulling her to his side. He wrapped an arm around her waist, holding her tightly to him.

  “Night.” Rowan sighed. The butterflies soaring in her stomach followed her into her dreams, and for just a brief moment, a single night, Rowan forgot that the world was a miserable forsaken place that had fallen into utter disarray and chaos at the hands of Elias.

  SIXTEEN

  PRESENT DAY- AUGUST

  The day had ticked by, their progress slow, the groups thoughts heavy and discouraged as they waited for Jonquil to return from Shanemel, a small village close to them. When he finally returned, delivering the news that Elias was returning to Venemos, just a day’s journey away, they set out immediately, reaching it as the sun swung into its highest point in the sky, the next day.

  They stopped for several hours, at a small cabin, only long enough to bury the dead they found there; the woman and two children, and the man with the missing head, before continuing on, Rowan questioning more strongly than ever if the brother she loved even existed anymore, or if the Beast inside him had consumed him completely.

  They decided to stay in an inn that night, reluctantly releasing almost the last of the coins they had left. They all wanted a night of comfort, before, what they believed, was their expeditions end.

  The mood as they all set down for supper was light despite the gruesome events of the previous night. The tavern of the inn was dark and smoke floated through the air from the kitchen, candles were placed in holders along the walls, making the booths, like the one they sat in, seem intimate and secluded. Across the room, an older gentleman played a flute, the notes high and slow. Rowan stared at the wall across the room, blinking slowly, her thoughts murky and she did her best not to think at all.

  Pickard erupted in robust laughter. “Hasn’t been too grand so far! One of my more, low key, adventures.” He elbowed Chev and Chev scowled at him, making Pickard laugh all the harder. “Lighten up my friend! Tomorrow we meet Elias!”

  That is not something you should celebrate. Or have they all forgotten what we have seen these last months, have they forgotten what Elias has done? Rowan thought numbly.

  “What do you plan to do when you reunite your brother Rowan?” Mills asked her for the second time that night, eyeing her curiously while taking a small sip of ale, his lips pursed and his nose crinkled, as if he found the drink sour.

  Pickard finished drinking his third one, slamming the thick-rimmed glass onto the table, froth sloshing over the edge and down the glass. “Another!” Pickard yelled to a passing girl in an apron, who rolled her eyes as she passed, taking the empty glass from the table. “Well let’s hear it, Rowan?” Pickard said, his breath stinking of alcohol.

  “I honestly don’t know.” Rowan said quietly, fingering the edge of the table. The conversation around them stilled for a second, then Jonquil and Pickard resumed talking excitedly to each other.

  Rowan hardly touched her food, letting the thick roast Jace had ordered for her sit and grow cold, fumbling around in a daze that ensnared her, lost in her thoughts, or perhaps, to heartbroken over seeing the dead children to have any at all.

  Pickard, Mills, and Jonquil talked loudly, the ale they were drinking making their tongues loose and their laughter loud. None of them noticed the man watching them from across the room, his face shadowed in darkness as he leaned away from the flickering candle light.

  Rowan finished her meal and stood to leave. “Thank you gentlemen, for accompanying me this far.” She looked at them each in turn and they nodded their head acknowledgment, Rowan felt a pang of guilt for Tomman, who should have been there to celebrate with them, or at least alive, with a loving family. “I’ll see you in the morning.” She smiled, but in her gut, she felt more as if she was saying good-bye rather than goodnight.

  Jace stood from the table, wiping a crumb from his shirt. “Night.” He said to the men, nodding once.

  Rowan wound her way through the tables in the dining room, towards the stairs. She paused, turning her head to the side with her brows furrowed, her eyes searching.

  “What is it?” Jace asked, placing a warm hand on her arm.

  “It’s just I thought I saw, but he couldn’t have followed us all this way here.” Rowan answered puzzled, convinced she hadn’t seen that old man Jacob. Trick of the eye, she told herself. “It’s nothing, just thought I recognized someone.”


  Rowan and Jace walked up the creaky stairs to where their room was, turning down several poorly lit halls to get to the back of the massive inn. When they reached their room, Rowan opened the door than closed it quickly behind her and Jace, the gloomy shadows that danced in the halls frightening her, though she knew she was being silly.

  Jace stood by the door, uncertain of what to do with himself. The moon light beamed down on him, as if asking for him to tell it all his secrets, daring him to reveal his inner thoughts, its translucent glow promising to keep his confidences in private. Rowan closed the curtain. She turned slowly to Jace, uncertain of what to say to him and a thick silence stretched between them, neither taking their eyes off the other.

  Jace walked over to her and took her in his arms. Rowan smelled like the woods and her hair was tangled, but Jace thought she had never looked more beautiful than she did in that moment. Her face was vulnerable, her lips slightly parted and Jace could feel her heart hammering in her chest, the same as his did, and he couldn’t help but smile down at her, content in this simple moment.

  “I love you.” Jace said, placing his forehead on hers.

  “How can you be sure?” She asked, her eyes searching his.

  Jace grabbed her hand and placed her palm over his heart, she could feel its hammering rhythm beneath her fingers, strong and wild and soothing. “Do you feel that? Do you feel the way it responds to you? If you were only tricking me into thinking I loved you, my heart wouldn’t beat like this for you.” Jace touched his lips just slightly to hers, making her body quiver. “My stomach wouldn’t twist every time you looked at me with those perfect blue eyes of yours.” Another light kiss, just brushing his lips against hers, as soft as the wind and it made Rowan desperately need more. “It wouldn’t feel like my skin was on fire every time you touched me.” A third small kiss and Rowan felt as though she was swimming, the world spinning and she was going to collapse any second. “And when I kiss you…” Rowan curled her fingers on his chest, balling his shirt in her fist as he kissed her again, drawing her body up against his and the air grew warm hot scorching as Jace kissed her, hard and deep and it was almost too much for Rowan to handle.