Entice

by Lexi Buchanan

  That’s the closest he’s ever come to showing his feelings towards what happened to me.

  I need to get out of here.

  “I’m going to give you a few minutes,” I say, my voice gruff.

  I see the surprise on Sabrina’s face, but understanding on Ramon’s.

  Quickly kissing Sabrina on her forehead, I whisper, “I won’t be long,” to reassure her that I’ll be back.

  Exiting Sabrina’s room, I make my way out of the hospital for some much needed fresh air.

  It hadn’t really hit me until Ramon spoke that I’m about to have one of the things I’ve always wanted—a child—something I thought I’d never have.

  My chest feels tight with the feelings inside me wanting to burst free. I’ve kept them buried for years out of self-preservation and now they’re all coming to the surface. I have no fuckin’ clue how to deal with them without running. Running is something I’ve become good at, never more so, since I met Sabrina.

  Dropping onto a bench outside the hospital, I rest my elbows on my knees and drop my head into my hands while I try to breathe through the panic taking hold of my body. If I’m like this now, how the hell am I going to manage later on?

  “Here.”

  A bottle of water is shoved into my face.

  Ramon’s caught me off guard…again. “Thanks.” I sit up straighter. “Why aren’t you with Sabrina?”

  “She sent me after you.”

  “Fuck!” The last thing I need is for her to worry about me, and my reaction to everything. I don’t want her doubting my commitment to her and the baby. That’s the last thing she needs or I want.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Sabrina

  Living with Lucien is sweet torture. Since I was released from the hospital three days ago he has been so tentative that I’m really going to miss him when he decides he’s had enough of me being in his space. He’s been alone for so long that I’m under no illusion that eventually he’ll start getting frustrated that his space has been invaded.

  It doesn’t stop there. Here, in Lucien’s apartment, he only has two bedrooms. One being unfurnished. Lucien informed me once he’d gotten me here that he had no intention of furnishing the spare room with a bed. Instead, he plans on turning it into a nursery for our unborn child. He went on to inform me that since I’m the mother of said ‘unborn child’ I was to share his bed. He promised not to touch me unless I asked him to. For three nights he has kept that promise, even though I wish he hadn’t made it because I’m craving his touch, more so than ever. I’m putting it down to my pregnancy hormones even though I suspect it’s my heart and soul that is craving him.

  While I’m resting on the sofa, I have my kindle in hand, but I much prefer the view of the dining table where Lucien is working.

  He really has no idea how delicious he is, sitting there in a pair of well-worn jeans, a long sleeve tee shirt and bare feet. His hair is all messed up and he looks so damn hot. I want to go over there and run my hands through his hair. I want to feel his arms come around me as he pulls me onto his lap. I don’t know how to ask for what I want with the fear of rejection sitting heavily in my chest. I wonder whether Lucien feels like I do right now—fearing I’m going to reject him at some point because of his body. His way of thinking makes me angry because he is so damn caring. I really wish I knew who his ex was so I could give her a piece of my mind. It just pisses me off.

  I’m startled out of my dark thoughts by Lucien sitting on the coffee table to the side of me. He leans forward and traces my brows with his finger. “What is causing these?” he asks, worry clear on his face. “Or should I be asking who?” He pulls his hand away, which I catch in mine.

  “I was feeling rather violent towards your ex, if you most know.”

  His eyes widen in surprise.

  “My ex?”

  “I blame what she did to you as the reason why you have a hard time believing that anyone would want you.” I swipe at a tear from the corner of my eye as he watches me. “It breaks my heart. I really wish you could see inside me because you’d never doubt my feelings for you if you could.”

  He caresses my face and wipes another leaked tear from my face. “It’s going to take time, and I can’t promise to always be so willing, but until four days ago, I hadn’t let anyone touch my face the way you did. It’s a start.” He smiles.

  “Will you hold me?”

  He pauses while my words sink in, and then he picks me up in his arms and sits back down with me on his lap and his arms around me. I do the most natural thing in the world and rest my head against his shoulder. When he’s like this—not pushing me away—it makes me feel like I’m truly his woman. The woman he can love and never live without.

  “We fit well together,” he whispers against my forehead.

  That’s the truth.

  Feeling warm and secure in his arms, I ask, “Will you come to my OB appointment with me tomorrow? She said she’d do an ultrasound.”

  He kisses my cheek. “I’d love to,” he says sounding emotional.

  I try to lift my face to look at him, but he stops me by resting his head on the top of mine.

  “Thank you. It’s at four. I’ve arranged to meet Rosie for lunch so would you mind meeting me there?”

  “No, that’s fine. Just text me the address so I have it and I’ll be there.”

  He stays quiet and I can’t help wondering if he thought I wouldn’t want him with me? Have I not made it clear enough?

  “Lucien,” my hand tightens on his hand against my stomach, “we’re doing this together. Don’t ever feel you have to tip toe around me where the baby is concerned. If you have an opinion, or if you want to discuss something, then please tell me, don’t keep it inside. If you promise to do this then I will as well,” I smile, “even if it’s something the other isn’t going to like.”

  He chuckles. “I’ve been making a lot of promises where you’re concerned lately.” He kisses me again. “But I promise.”

  “Thank you.”

  I could stay in his arms like this forever. He relaxes me, which is what he’s doing right now as I fight with my eyelids to stay open.

  “Come on, you’re going to ache if you fall asleep here.”

  Lucien keeps me in his arms and walks with me towards our bedroom where I really don’t want to go. If he lays me on the bed, he will let me go and I don’t want him to…

  “I’ll stay until you’re asleep.”

  Or maybe not?

  He kneels on the bed and gently places me on the mattress. I’m so tempted to grab hold of his tee shirt to keep him with me, but he moves away and grabs a throw from the back of the chair to cover me up. Lucien stands looking down at me before he climbs on the bed, and spoons into me.

  “Is this alright?” he asks, sounding hesitant.

  “It’s more than alright.”

  He caresses along my arm down to my fingers before his hand lands on my stomach, and with such care, he cradles our baby. My stomach hasn’t started to expand yet—it feels rock hard to the touch and my skinny jeans now feel uncomfortable—but there is no visible evidence that I’m carrying a child. Still to have Lucien act the way he does fills me with hope. Hope that we are going to make it further than the remaining six months of my pregnancy.

  Taking more of an initiative, I turn in his arms coming face-to-face with him. Before I lose the courage, which has surprised me as much as it appears to have Lucien, I wiggle closer and hook one leg over his hip. Wrapping my arm around his waist, I snuggle more into him as I watch his eyes darken.

  “What are you doing,” he asks, in a strangled voice while I wiggle against him and start to feel his reaction to my closeness.

  “What do you think I’m doing?” I counter.

  “I think you’re looking to get into trouble.”

  “Hmm, the dirty kind of trouble.”

  He groans. “You’re really testing my control right now. You know that?” His hand lands on my bottom and squeeze
s, bringing me in against his straining erection.

  I move my hips wanting him with a desperation that I’ve only ever felt with him.

  “Sabrina, we can’t,” he grounds out. “I want you.” He laughs. “I think that’s obvious. But I want to take things slow. We need to get to know each other without sex blurring the lines. Do you hear what I’m saying? I’m trying something with you that I gave up on years ago, and I don’t want to blow it. I want a fresh start. Our relationship before was purely sex, and although I want you, I don’t want it to be about that this time around.” He moves his hand and holds me tight. “I want it to be more about us and our growing child.”

  Wow!

  Well that has certainly blown any thoughts I was having out the window.

  I really have no words. His words have left me stunned. A few days ago, he was still pushing me away even though he couldn’t keep his hands off me at his parents’ house. And now he wants everything he was trying to protect himself from.

  I’m still afraid that my happiness isn’t going to last even though my heart loves this man, body and soul.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Lucien

  It’s getting more difficult for me to hold on to my good intentions. I want more than anything to have her under me and to love her with my body. This morning I woke up with Sabrina wrapped in my arms and my dick hard as a spike knowing what or where it wanted to go. But I meant every word I said to her last evening. I really do want to get to know her—her likes and fears—what makes her tick. I want her to rely on me as she would if we were married. It will kill me if she turns to someone else for anything. At least I know she’s safe with Ramon, him preferring guys, although I’ve noticed a few times that his eyes wander to Sylvia so I’m not too sure what’s going on with him.

  I desperately wanted to make love to her yesterday, but my fear of rejection was there in the forefront of my mind. The next time I make love to her that’s what it’s going to be. Not a fuck to release our lust for each other, but a sweet lovin’. I just need to try and accept that she really isn’t going to flee in panic when she sees me.

  Once we know each other better, I’m hoping to feel more secure in our relationship for the big reveal to take place. I don’t want to frighten the life out of her or send myself into a major panic attack. No matter how many times I try telling myself that she’s different, every time I consider revealing my back to her, all I see is Alyssa’s reaction when I’d worked up the courage to show her. It was a nightmare and I sure as hell don’t want to experience that again because a reaction like that from Sabrina would kill me. She means more to me than Alyssa ever did. My ex actually did me a favour by walking away. It’s just my bad luck that she left the way she did.

  The only other person to have seen my scars is my mom. She’s rubbed ointment on me more often than not to ease the ache that I sometimes feel. That was hard. Letting her see me like that. Even though she tried to hide the fact that she was upset, I just knew. I could feel her upset in the slight shake of her hands and the fact that she averted her face once she’d finished. The first time she helped me, I’d taken hold of her and made her look at me—what I saw was crushing…she’d looked heartbroken. That’s the only time I’ve ever let my emotions get the better of me, and I cried all over my mom. We’ve never discussed that day, and for that I’m relieved.

  I know Lily has caught glimpses now and again when I’ve been changing shirts here, at her and Michael’s place, but although I’ve talked to her about the fire and the reason why I ended up in the car to begin with, we’ve kind of skirted around the full extent of my injuries.

  With Lily, it’s like having a nosy sister who won’t leave shit alone, and I’m just glad my brothers, especially Michael, have accepted my friendship with her. She was like a breath of fresh air in my lonely existence and I value her opinion more than anyone will ever know. She made me keep going when I sometimes wanted to quit.

  My affection for Lily is why I’m lying on the floor in the family room while my niece and nephew crawl all over me. Both Charlotte and Jr. are teething and want to bite anything in sight, which includes me. The little rascals know damn well that it hurts like hell having their sharp teeth clamping on my hand.

  They’re like damn piranhas.

  Charlotte tries again to get to my fingers, which is how Lily finds us. She scoops Charlotte up and out of my way.

  Sitting up, I make a grab for Jr. and follow Lily through to the kitchen where I set him down in his highchair and strap him in. The safest place for him…and me!

  “You looked so cute with these two all over you,” Lily comments, looking happy.

  “Hmm.”

  I wish Sabrina looked happy like Lily, instead of like she has the weight of the world on her shoulders.

  “Never mind, hmm,” Lily places chopped up banana in front of the twins before turning her gaze on me, “I want to know what is going on between you and my friend. Although I keep getting the feeling that all isn’t well between us, but I’ve no idea why.” She frowns.

  As much as I’d like to confide in Lily about Sabrina being pregnant with my child, I don’t want to say anything until I’ve discussed with Sabrina about telling my family. If I’m honest with myself, I want her beside me when we make the announcement.

  “Lucien? Where’d you go?”

  “Sorry.”

  I run my hands through my hair and watch Lily as she takes a seat opposite me with a curious look on her face.

  “Sabrina’s moved in with me,” I blurt out, leaving Lily stunned.

  “As in you’re both living together? I mean. I don’t know what I mean. I know you and Sabrina have kind of skirted around the other since she first came back to Lexington, but I had no idea anything was actually going on between you both.” She laughs. “Wow. Where have I been?”

  “We weren’t sure if we were going anywhere or not, but, well, she’s been living with me for a few days now, and she isn’t going anywhere if I have anything to do with it.”

  “I’m surprised. Happy. But surprised. Not that long ago you wouldn’t listen to me when I told you not everyone is like your horrid ex, and now you’ve moved Sabrina in with you. Total turn around.”

  I sigh. “Yeah, well, things change and take priority.”

  “What’d I miss?” Michael asks, joining us just as Lily is about to comment. The last thing I need is for more questions to be asked about my relationship with Sabrina right now.

  While Michael plucks Lily out of her seat to pull her onto his lap, I glance at my watch to check the time so I’m not late to meet Sabrina.

  Today we’re going to be seeing our baby for the first time during the ultrasound, and I’m really looking forward to it. The way my heart swelled when Sabrina asked me to go had been embarrassing. I was hoping she would include me in everything to do with our baby, and she seems to want that just as much as me. Now it all falls on me being able to show her just how committed I am to her and our growing child. I sure as hell don’t want to screw it up.

  “You fuckin’ with my wife?” Michael asks, scowling.

  My eyes widen in surprise before I start laughing. Lily gives me a mischievous look. She’s obviously told Michael about Sabrina and me while I’ve been dreaming about seeing my child later today.

  “Ask Ramon if you don’t believe me,” I grin, leaving him speechless.

  “We’re both thrilled to bits for you Lucien. It’s about time you started living again,” Lily adds.

  She stands up and removes the empty bowls from in front of the twins, who have stayed surprisingly quiet.

  “I’m still struggling to get my head around this. You’ve spent years alone. Years telling us that you don’t want or need any complications, and now this. Why? What’s different?”

  I knew Michael would want answers, and, although I know Lily can’t stop until she’s satisfied, it was Michael that I knew would really ask me the question I didn’t want to answer because I’m not s
ure my reasons for staying alone have changed. My fear is still there and if I really stop to think about Sabrina and our child, I know it will send me into a panic.

  I know that it would be easier to get everything out in the open and let Sabrina see me without my clothes, but right now I feel like it’s going to take more courage than I have. And while Michael is sitting patiently waiting for me to get my head together, I’m not sure what to say to him that he’ll believe other than the truth, which I can’t do yet. So I opt for part truth and say, “Things change. I’m sick of being alone. I’d rather have her with me than with someone else. We’ll see how it goes.”

  I glance at Michael for his reaction and see a smile start to spread across his face. “Does Mom know yet?” He laughs before I can answer. “Of course she doesn’t. We’d have already known if she had.”

  I know my mom is going to be beside herself with excitement when she hears about Sabrina and more so when she hears about her growing grandbaby. It has hurt over the years seeing the look on my mom’s face when she’s looked at me. Knowing her heart was broken because of me has added to my list of regrets. I’ve hated knowing how much she was hurting because of me, and now I can’t wait to see the relief on her face, which I know will be there when I tell her how my future is looking, thanks to Sabrina.

  “I’m going to take Sabrina round to the parents’ house tomorrow,” I glance at my watch, “but right now, I need to leave before I’m late meeting her.”

  Getting up from the chair, I quickly kiss the twins before walking around Michael to hug his wife.

  “I’m really happy for you,” she whispers in to my ear.

  “Thank you.” I kiss her on the cheek before being grabbed by Michael who gives me a hug before shoving me away with a grin splitting his face.

  “Go get your woman, and you better not screw this up.”