Entice

by Lexi Buchanan

“Let me help you up.”

  Taking her hands, I pull her into a sitting position and realize she’s a mess between her legs because of me.

  “We need a shower,” I say wiggling my eyebrows.

  Rolling her eyes, she asks, “Again. I’ve had a few showers today.”

  “Yes, again.”

  I pick her up in my arms and start to carry her towards the bathroom, when I say, “Thank you for that welcome home scene. Although, I’d only been gone a few hours it was hot as hell walking in and finding you like that. Especially as I’ve been hard all day thinking about you while reading Fifty Shades of Grey.”

  I start laughing at the startled look on her face.

  “You knew?”

  “Only since this afternoon.”

  “Bummer, thought I’d be able to keep you wondering a bit longer.”

  “No chance babe, but tell me, was that little idea from a book?”

  “Pretty Woman. I watched it this afternoon with my mom.” I give her a quizzical look so she continues, “You must have seen Pretty Woman. I mean you’re a guy. Weren’t all guys crushing on Julia Roberts when the movie came out?”

  “I know who starred in Pretty Woman, I’m just surprised that you watched it with your mom.”

  “We talked beforehand. I’ll tell you all about it later, but for now I need you to wash my back.”

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Sabrina

  Lucien has been amazing and the more time I spend with him, the more I fall in love with him.

  I took my mom’s advice and over the past two weeks we’ve dated. We’ve been to the museum, out to dinner, on walks into the mountains and basically just spent our time together getting to know each other. There is still a wall between us, with Lucien and the fire. He’s told me straight that he doesn’t talk about it and that he isn’t sure if he’ll ever be ready for me to see the full extent of his scarring.

  I’ve told him I’m here when he is ready because I’m convinced that one day down the line, he will be ready to really talk to me and to show me. I just wish he would have done it already so then we could move forward with me still by his side.

  I touch and feel his groin and cock every day, well, nearly every day unless he has other ideas. But they’re scarred and I don’t run away because of them. I can’t get enough of him.

  The fact that he doesn’t trust me is starting to hurt. I keep telling myself that he’s obviously been made to feel like anyone sees him he’ll lose them. He won’t lose me. The only way he’d lose me is if he chose to walk away.

  So I’m avoiding any mention of anything in his past, which is causing me stress. I always have to think carefully before I speak when we’re intimate because I don’t want to ruin our time together. It’s a huge white elephant in the room, and I’m sure he’s aware of it as much as I am.

  When I’m with him away from the apartment, I always feel close to him as though this relationship we are trying to build because of our child is really going to work. That he’s really going to be sticking with us, and that he doesn’t regret anything or blame me for trapping him.

  It’s when we are in the apartment that I’m not sure of him, or myself for that matter. I know that even though he’s been so attentive to me, and made sure I haven’t wanted for anything, that I’m pulling away from him. There’s something to be said about self-preservation, which I guess is what Lucien has been doing for years. I can’t help it. No matter what I do to try to pull myself back it doesn’t work and I think it’s because I know in my heart that he’ll never trust me enough to stay with him. I’m basically in a relationship where the man I love is waiting for me to walk away so how is that supposed to make me feel?

  The rustle of a magazine draws me out of my dark thoughts and I glance around the crowded OB’s office at the happy couples quietly talking to each other or reading. I look at the clock, another scan…another missing Lucien. He’s never late for anything unless it’s taken out of his hands. But yet again, I find myself offering another lady waiting to see the doctor my turn as I wait hoping he’s going to be here. What the hell is it with these appointments? Nothing ever comes up at any other time and now…my cell starts to ring.

  Glancing at the caller id before answering, my heart sinks when I see Lucien’s name flashing on the screen.

  “Hello,” I answer.

  “Sabrina, thank God. I’ve only just realized the time. I’m not going to make it, I’m so sorry, but Lily had a fall.”

  “How? Is she all right? The baby?” I quickly ask my voice full of concern.

  “She said she went dizzy and lost her footing on the stairs. Luckily, she was only two steps from the bottom so didn’t have far to fall. The doctor thinks, other than shock, she’s going to be fine and so is the baby, but Michael’s freaking out so I’m here at the hospital with them.”

  My heart sinks.

  “Sabrina, are you there?”

  “Yeah,” I whisper, unable to hide my disappointment.

  “I’m really sorry. I can’t leave. They need me here. You’ll be fine, right? You know how much I was looking forward to being there. I’m disappointed, but you’ll get a DVD again so we can watch it together later?”

  He does sound disappointed that he isn’t going to be here, but I keep telling myself if he wanted to be with me he would be. Lily is going to be all right so there isn’t any reason why he has to stay there.

  He’s chosen Lily over his child…over me.

  The lump in my heart bursts and I find it difficult to breathe. I struggle to find the words but I can’t. All I want to do is rail against him, cry out the hurt that is lancing through me. I shake my head to clear it and hang up. There isn’t really anything else I can do.

  “Sabrina, you’re the only one left,” Crystal says and the word again hangs between us. I glance around the room and am startled that I lost track of time.

  Just by looking at Crystal, I can see the pity on her face. That I’m pregnant and the father isn’t as committed as I thought he was.

  Why am I surprised that he’s blown me off because of Lily? I shouldn’t be, but I am and it hurts so much.

  Yes, she was hurt and was taken to the hospital but she has a devoted husband who is with her. They are both going to be okay so why can’t he leave to be with me? I feel a strange mixture of sadness and numbness taking over as I follow the nurse into the small room.

  Lying back on the table while the doctor does her thing, I stare up at the ceiling trying my best to keep the tears at bay. Having a tissue shoved into my hand, I realize my tears are falling and my face is wet. I’m unable to focus because of the tears swimming in them.

  I vaguely hear India, my doctor ask Crystal to give us a few minutes before the door clicks shut.

  “Why are you in tears in my office? It’s been a while since I’ve made someone cry.”

  At least she gets a small smile out of me. “I’m sorry,” I sniff into a tissue, “it’s not you. I can’t talk about it, otherwise, I’ll be even more of a wreck than I am now.”

  She nods. “I’m not going to push you Sabrina, but sometimes it helps getting things off your chest so I’m here for you if you ever change your mind.”

  “Thank you.”

  I mop my tears up and try to breathe through my heartache.

  “Do you want to know the sex of your child?” India asks with a smile in her voice.

  Do I?

  Before he’d stood me up, we’d agreed to ask the sex of our child, but now I’m not sure I want to know.

  I shake my head. “No.”

  Her hand pauses on my stomach before she continues taking measurements.

  I still can’t bring myself to look at the monitor.

  After twenty minutes of being in the chair, I find myself back on the sidewalk in a daze. I’d taken a cab today so that we would only have one car here and could go straight from here to buy my engagement ring, which we’d finally discussed over a romantic dinner together. Now I�
��m exhausted and just want to lie down and forget about my disaster of a life. But first I have to get home.

  Taking my cell out from my purse, I dial Ramon and hope he’s free for a ride.

  He answers on the first ring.

  “Sabrina, how you doing?”

  “Are you free to pick me up?” I ask, getting straight to the point.

  “I’m in the car now and just pulling out of the site so where are you?”

  “I’m outside the doctor’s office on East Maxwell Street.”

  He pauses.

  “Isn’t Lucien supposed to be with you?”

  I sag against the wall.

  “He decided he had something more important to do,” I tell him feeling my heart crack, again.

  “Fuck…Don’t move, we’re about five minutes away.”

  “I won’t.”

  He hangs up as I grip my cell in my hands.

  Lucien hasn’t even tried to ring me since. No miscalls or texts. Nothing.

  How are we supposed to have a relationship when he goes running to Lily at the slightest thing? Not that I think falling is a small problem. I mean, I’m not a selfish person and I’m truly concerned for my friend. But knowing she was going to be all right and that Michael was with her should have freed him up to get to me. Instead he stayed there. I don’t think he realizes how much his action has hurt me.

  Lifting my head to a car horn, I sigh in relief when Ramon pulls up at the sidewalk, but not only does Ramon emerge from the car, but a strange handsome man. I can’t help but stare at him. He’s tall with a muscular build and rocks his jeans and tee shirt. His dark hair is messed up, but it’s his green eyes that sparkle with mirth when I finally meet them that makes him handsome. I blush realizing I’ve been staring.

  I get moving and meet Ramon as he comes around the truck. He grins, but I can see the worry for me hovering. After giving me a quick kiss, he smirks and turns to introduce me to the fine man behind me.

  “Sabrina, this is my cousin, Eric.”

  I hold my hand out to him. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Eric.”

  “The pleasure is all mine,” he says bringing my hand up to his lips before he places a kiss against my knuckles.

  “Eric, knock it off.”

  He rolls his eyes. “Ramon, chill. Let’s get this young lady seated. She can sit in the back with me.”

  “She can sit in the front with me. You can keep yourself company in the back.”

  Ramon lifts me into his truck.

  Buckled in, I stare out of the window for our short ride to the apartment building I share with Lucien. I can’t even bring myself to call it home anymore. I know it’s probably killing Ramon, knowing there is something wrong and not knowing what or how to help me. I’m not sure there is anything anyone can do to make me feel better right now. Even Eric has stayed quiet in the back of the truck, which surprises me since he doesn’t seem shy. I must look like a thundercloud.

  Ramon walks me up to the apartment and inside before he pulls me into his arms.

  “Please talk to me,” he begs. “I can’t leave you like this. Knowing there is something wrong and that you’re upset.”

  I pull out of his arms and taking his hand, I pull him towards the sofa. He sits down and drags me close to him with his arm around me for comfort.

  Telling him about today gives me someone to ask whether or not I’m being a bitch by being upset.

  So after he’s listened to everything, I turn to face him and ask, “Do you think I’m being unreasonable? That I’m upset and angry for nothing?”

  Ramon shakes his head and cups my face in his hands. We’re practically nose-to-nose. “You have every right to be pissed. Lily is my sister-in-law and I love her like a sister, but if they’d been told she was okay and Michael was there, then there was no reason for him to stay. He should have been with you.”

  Great, big racking sobs over take my body as I feel Ramon pull me against him, and wrap his arms tight around me. He makes me feel safe.

  ~*~*~*~

  It’s been hours since Ramon left and Lucien still isn’t back. I’m not even sure what I’ll say to him when he does appear.

  With everything on my mind, I’ve been unable to sleep, but I think part of me is listening for him to open the door. That’s why I find myself making hot milk in the microwave when I spot my purse on the breakfast bar. I’d forgotten I’d dumped it there when Ramon brought me home.

  Opening it now, I pull out the baby brochures I’d picked up from the doctor’s office. At the time, I’d still thought Lucien would be there and I’d sat looking through them, but now I don’t care for them and let them drop into the trash beside the sofa as I sit down.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Lucien

  Exhaustion set in a few hours ago, but pushing into my apartment at one in the morning hadn’t been in my plans. Neither had missing the ultrasound this afternoon or rather yesterday afternoon.

  Lily had given us a scare with her fall and seeing the fear on Michael’s face had me making the call to cancel on Sabrina. I knew it was wrong and I should have been there for her, but she wasn’t hurting like Lily was.

  The bouquet I’ve bought her from the hospital florist will hopefully be accepted as a peace offering. I’m not sure what I’ll do if she won’t accept them. I’m so out of practice at this. For years, I’ve only had myself to think about, but now I have more and keep screwing up.

  My apartment is dark with a soft glow from the bedroom giving a subtle light directly to the sofa, which is where I find Sabrina. She’s curled up asleep with a throw keeping her warm.

  Why is she asleep out here? Was she waiting for me to come home?

  I wince. That’s probably the last thing she’d do after my call to her.

  Not wanting to disturb her, I sit opposite without moving my eyes until a bit of white catches my eye. Walking back to the side of her, in the trash are torn pieces of paper with pictures on. Retrieving them, I realize they’re baby brochures. Why has she torn them up? Have I hurt her that much that she’d do this?

  Knowing I’m not getting any sleep soon, I slump back down into the chair with a heavy heart and watch her sleep.

  ~*~*~*~

  Showering and putting clean clothes on is the best I can do before I head back into the lounge.

  I slept on the chair opposite her all night, not able to leave her alone. I’d thought about carrying her to bed, but since she looked comfortable, I decided against it and let her sleep.

  She’s beautiful and causes an ache in my chest.

  Lost in thoughts of her, I had no idea that her eyes are open and fixed on me.

  Now that I’m faced with an alert Sabrina, I’m not sure what to say.

  As we stare at the other, I take in her swollen eyes and pale skin—she looks like she’s been crying all night.

  “Are you alright,” I ask, dropping into the chair.

  She looks at me before averting her eyes. “What time did you get in?” she asks ignoring my question.

  “One. I took Michael and Lily home around eight. Michael put Lily to bed and then insisted I stay to talk to him. Keep him company. He was pretty shaken up with the whole thing.”

  “Oh…I need to shower,” she tells me and before I can say anything else, she’s off the sofa and locking herself in the bathroom.

  What the fuck is going on!

  I knew she was going to be upset that I’d missed the appointment. I just didn’t think she’d be as upset as it appears. After all Lily is her friend, or at least she was.

  About to go and wait in the bedroom for her, my cell starts ringing.

  “Is that Lucien McKenzie?”

  “Yes it is.”

  “I’m Crystal from the OB’s office.”

  I look towards the bathroom wondering why would they be ringing me.

  “Go on.”

  “Well, as Sabrina was in a bit of a mess yesterday, she forgot to take the pictures of the baby with her and
the DVD so I was wondering if you could stop by and pick them up.”

  I frown. “She was in a mess?”

  “She was upset, well a bit more than that really as she never once looked at the monitor during the ultrasound.”

  “Does she know the sex of the baby?”

  Sabrina was beside herself yesterday morning about the scan. She couldn’t wait to know whether we are having a girl or boy.

  “I’m sorry, but she refused to be told when she was given the option.”

  “Thank you. I have to go.”

  I hang up and stare towards the bathroom.

  Have I screwed this up more than I thought?

  Completely ignoring me, Sabrina walks out of the bathroom in clean yoga pants and tee shirt. After slipping her feet into her boots, she heads towards the kitchen.

  Needing answers, knowing I’m probably not going to like them, I follow her.

  She’s pouring two cups of coffee as I sit at the breakfast bar and wait for her to be done.

  I notice her glance at the flowers that I’d put into a vase last night, but they don’t get any reaction.

  Placing my coffee in front of me, she finally meets my eyes, and what worries me is the fact that I don’t see anything reflected in them. They’re dead.

  “I can’t do this anymore Lucien,” she whispers as though her voice has deserted her.

  “Why?” I ask my hands tightening around the mug of coffee.

  “I can’t and won’t spend my life always being a second thought. I deserve so much more than that.”

  “I don’t treat you like that.” My immediate response sounds hollow even to my own ears.

  “You’ve no idea how much I wanted you with me yesterday. You told me Lily was fine but in shock. There wasn’t any reason for you to stay. You could have still made it for the ultrasound…if you’d really wanted to be there.”

  She stumbles into the lounge and sits in one of the armchairs looking sick.

  This upset can’t be good for the baby. A baby I’m not sure she wants anymore.

  I’m losing her and our baby.

  My heart freezes at the reality. I wish I knew what to do to make this right, even though I’m not sure there is anything.