I’d picked them up six days ago. The day Ruben told me Lucien had headed to Colorado to get his head together. Each day that passes makes it harder for me to believe he will come back for me, and our unborn baby. The way Ruben spoke was as though he’d be back for us soon. I hope with all my heart that he will be but the doubts are there and growing stronger each day. It was difficult being away from him when he was in the same city, and now that he’s gone, it’s unbearable. I miss him more than words can say.
Now that the fundraising event is around the corner, I’ve been spending more and more time helping to get all the arrangements finalized, which means Gavin has been constantly around and flirting with me. He’s a nice guy, a great doctor, just not for me. If he asks me one more time to go to the event with him, I just might give in and say yes. He knows all about Lucien so it’s not as though I’d be leading him on. The thought of having to attend alone is making me nervous. I’ve never been good with walking into a crowded room so it would be good to have someone with me.
The night of the fundraiser will also be the first time I’ve seen Lily and the rest of the McKenzies since I left Lucien. A part of me is nervous but the other part is longing to see them, to have all the support I can get. I may not be family, but I know they will rally around me. Of course, that assurance doesn’t calm my nerves. What if they blame me for Lucien leaving? I’m sure it’s my mind making all sorts of assumptions, but I can’t help it.
In all, I am looking forward to the event and I’m hoping it’s going to be a huge success. If it is, it will mean all our hard work will have paid off.
I think I’m safe to say that the only thing I need to do for the event now is to buy myself an evening dress that makes allowances for my rapidly expanding belly. When I’d gone shopping with Eric, I hadn’t given an evening dress thought so that needed to be sorted, and soon.
Thinking about it makes me realize that I should figure it out sooner rather than later and now is a good time. There’s a boutique a block over from where I am now that sells the most amazing dresses, I just hope they have something with a pregnant woman in mind. I’m not too fussy as long as it covers the essential bits. Although, if it happens to show some of my plump breasts, I’m not about to complain, after all Lucien is supposed to put in an appearance if Ramon has anything to say about it.
Collecting my jacket, I’m shoving my arms inside when Gavin appears. He looks disappointed when he sees I’m about to leave.
“I’m too late,” he says walking towards me. “I thought you’d still be here for a while so I figured I’d come and see how you were doing and maybe take you for lunch.”
Pulling my hair from the collar of my jacket, I grab my purse and cell before looking back at him. He’s a good looking guy and if I hadn’t met Lucien, then perhaps something may have developed between us, but there’s only one Lucien. Still, I can’t help compare them. Gavin is blond, smooth and quick to laugh where Lucien is dark, rough around the edges and more prone to smoldering glances…which leave me hot and out of breath.
“I’m sorry, Gavin.”
“But you’re still in love with the other guy. I don’t like it, but I get it.”
He shouldn’t care one way or another as we’ve never dated, or spent time alone. It’s just weird.
“I’m going to grab a sandwich on the way home after I’ve found something to wear for the event.”
“You don’t have anything to wear yet?” he asks, walking out with me.
“No, I don’t.” I place my hand on my stomach and see the bell drop.
“Ah, you mean with the pregnancy?”
I smile in reply.
“Okay, well, if you’re sure about lunch?”
“I am.”
“I’ll see you at the final meeting next week.”
He waves as I head out of the hotel while I sigh in relief. I hate letting him down, but I’m not about to do what Eric suggested by using him as a date for the fundraiser. Lucien will have to take me as I am, plus I don’t think I have it in me to do something that might make him jealous. In fact, whom am I kidding? It would hurt him. This I do know.
The walk to the store is short, and the fresh breeze that is around is so welcome with my overheated body. Pregnancy hormones.
Opening the door to the store, I pause when I spot Lily inside. She looks up and sees me, which makes it difficult for me to quickly exit and act like I wasn’t shopping here. I’m acting like a jealous lover, which I guess is what I am. Lucien passed up seeing his child so he could stay with Michael and Lily so I have every right to be hurt by him, and them.
“Sabrina,” Lily says, finding her voice first. “Please don’t go.” She comes over to me. “Let me get dressed again so we can go somewhere and talk…Please.”
I’m standing in front of her acting stupid so I finally respond. “I need a dress as well. There’s no need to rush off if you haven’t finished. Let’s just get this sorted so it’s over with and then we can go and talk.”
“Still hate dress shopping?” she asks, a smile hovering on her lips.
I snort. Very unladylike, I know, but I seriously hate shopping for evening dresses—or any dress for that matter. More often than not it’s because of the high price the stores charge for them.
“C’mon, I’ll show you the maternity section.” She takes my hand and with a slight tug gets me moving with her.
I’ve missed having Lily to talk things through with. If only I could work out the relationship between Lily and Lucien, things might not look so bad. I mean Michael, who is possessive as hell towards Lily, accepts their relationship so perhaps I should too. Once Lucien explains it to me properly. I need to truly believe him first.
“Do you know what you’re having yet?” Lily asks, but continues before I can answer, “I’m only having one this time. Thank goodness. I’d have coped if it had been twins again, but it sure was a relief when the OB said one baby girl.” She grins. “Michael keeps saying he’s going to have a head of grey hair soon.”
Chuckling, I respond, “He’s going to have his hands full, that’s for sure…and no, I don’t know what I’m having. I didn’t want to know.” I avoid her eyes as I start looking through the rack of maternity evening gowns.
It only takes a minute of uncomfortable silence for me to take a gown in red silk from the rack. “I think I’ll try this one on.”
“Okay. I’ll get out of this one while you’re trying that on.”
Disappearing into our respective dressing rooms, I hang the dress up and dump my own things on to the chair in the corner of the room. The dressing room is large with two full length mirrors and wooden pegs on the wall, which I presume are for my clothes.
Slipping out of my clothes, I find the zipper on the dress at the side and slide it down before removing it from the hanger. It caresses over my skin like a feather as it falls to my feet. The red silk feels wonderful against my skin, and the halter style with black beads around the neck really adds to the dress.
With a bit of maneuvering due to my belly, I manage to get the zipper up and take a look at myself in the mirror.
I take in my curves, which are more defined with the pregnancy, as well as my large boobs. I’m sure they’re twice the size that they used to be. But looking at myself now, I realize that the dress I’ve chosen would look better without underwear, which makes me moan. There isn’t any way I can go without a bra, or is there?
With a huff, I unclip the bra I have on and pull it down my arms and off, and…oh, wow. My breasts have always been firm and now they’re being caressed with the silk I’m thinking that one look from Lucien is going to give away how much he arouses me. He’ll see my nipples being erect perfectly, just like they are now with thoughts of Lucien’s reaction running through my head. Standing to the side, I caress my bump wishing Lucien was here with me. Wishing that he was here to witness the changes to my body that is happening because I’m carrying his child.
“Sabrina, are you okay in
there?”
Taking a breath, I reply, “I’m fine. Give me a minute,” while I wipe the silent tears from my face.
I have to believe Ramon when he said Lucien would be at the fundraiser, because right now it’s the only thing keeping me going, and getting me out of bed every day.
I’m excited knowing he will be there but there is a trill of apprehension because, even though Ruben told me Lucien was coming back for me, there is still the niggling conscience telling me I’m dreaming.
~*~*~*~
Nervously picking at the sandwich that Lily ordered me, I watch her do the same across from me.
After the dress store, Lily directed me here, which is a small bistro that serves delicious Italian sandwiches and coffee. Neither of us are drinking the coffee, as we both have a glass of iced water with lemon. It’s refreshing.
“Okay, I’m going to go first,” Lily, states. “I know you’re upset with Lucien because he missed the scan because of me, and I’m so sorry Sabrina. I’m not just sorry for you, but for Lucien as well. He’s so happy that he’s going to become a father and he should have been there for you. If Michael had known, he never would have asked him to stay with him at the hospital. I was fine, just having more tests done. I know Michael was a wreck, but he’d have been fine. He’s kicking himself for being selfish and not realizing he’d screwed Lucien up.”
I shake my head and, reaching out, put my hand over Lily’s. “I understand that, and it was something that we could have probably gotten over…It’s…It’s just…he’s in love with you,” I blurt.
Nice going!
Lily pauses before she starts to laugh, but she soon stops when she realizes I’m serious. “Oh Sabrina, I wondered about that, but I seriously didn’t think there was anything to it. Is that why you’ve stopped calling or refuse to answer when I call you?”
“Perhaps.”
“Sabrina, I’m not going to lie to you. I do love him and I know he loves me, but not in the way you think he does. I love him like a brother, just like he loves me like a sister. I’m the first woman to show him that we aren’t all bad so I guess that has given us a sort of attachment. But that’s all it has ever been or ever will be. Michael and our children are my life, just like you’re Lucien’s.”
I stay silent while I take in everything she’s telling me. I’ve always wondered about their relationship. I can’t help but sift through the memories of them together, the looks, the secret whispers, and I realize that she is telling the truth. They weren’t the actions of lovers but of siblings. I believe her. I really do. But I still need Lucien to tell me the same thing and to take my concerns seriously instead of passing them off as nothing.
“Does Lucien know you feel like this?”
“I don’t know,” I whisper. “I think he may now. We argued before I walked out, but it was the fact that he said family will always come first that made me realize he doesn’t see me as that…It hurt Lily. So much.”
Tears again!
I take a swallow of my water to get control before I continue, “Why can’t Lucien tell me all this? He’d probably still be here with me if he’d talk instead of getting all defensive when he knows he’s in the wrong.”
“He’s a man who hasn’t had anyone else, but his parents and brothers to think about in a long time. And yes, he classes me, Carla and Rosie in with his brothers. You know about his ex, right?”
I nod.
“I really hate her for what she put in his head. She’s a wicked woman and if I ever see her she’s going to get told.”
Lily grabs onto my hand.
“Please come back to me. You’re really my only friend and I really miss you.” I can see the longing in her eyes and the hurt in her voice and I swallow the guilt I didn’t realize I had been feeling.
“I’m sorry Lily. It was difficult being around you when Lucien was there as well because he’d look at you and make me long for that to be directed at me.”
She laughs, which startles me. “Sabrina, if you don’t see the way that man looks at you then you really don’t have eyes in your head. He is so different now that he has you, and I know it must be hard for you without him being around, but once he gets back, he will sort everything out. Give him this time and when he gets back to talk to you, don’t make it easy. He needs to learn you’re no push over.” She grins.
“You want him to suffer?”
“Not really because I think he’s suffered enough, but five minutes will be fine.”
“I’m not promising anything because I’m going to be too excited to see him again. I miss him Lily.”
“I know.”
Chapter Thirty-Four
Lucien
It’s amazing what you can accomplish when you have the drive and money.
Over the past week Dante and I have managed to furnish my home with every modern day comfort we could think of. I know Dante thinks I’m a fool for doing all this for a woman, but I don’t. My only problem now is that I’m getting impatient for Saturday evening. If I hadn’t had the house to occupy me I’d have been on the next plane back to Lexington to claim my girl. I’m even prepared to beg if I need to, which Ruben said I’d have to do after he’d seen her at my apartment the afternoon that I had left for Denver. He’s an ass, and I hope when he said she was pissed and upset was laid on thick with the telling.
I’ve planned my ‘get my girl’ down to the last detail. Michael has the McKenzie Holdings jet ready in the hanger at the airport in Lexington ready for me to whisk her off back here. She’s going to come back with me one way or another. Leaving without her isn’t an option, and if that doctor guy is anywhere near her, she’s going to discover just how much I think she belongs with me. I just hope he has health insurance. I grin, liking that idea.
“What are you grinning at?” Dante asks, while trying to put together the coffee table.
“The thought of bodily harming someone,” I counter, getting down to the floor to read the plans he’s trying to follow, but keeps screwing up.
“As long as it’s not me, I’m fine with it. Although I shouldn’t be,” he frowns, “being a priest and all, but considering it’s you, I guess you have good reason.” He raises an eyebrow in question.
“He’s after my girl so I guess it’s a good reason.” I take one of the table legs from him and turn it the right way up before passing it back. “It won’t come to that, at least I hope it won’t. I don’t think Sabrina would be that impressed if I let swing because of her.”
“From what you’ve told me about her, I guess she won’t be.”
“It would feel good.”
He shakes his head as a look of confusion crosses his face. Dante is brilliant at a lot of things, but putting something together from instructions isn’t one of them.
“You screw the bits together as I pass them to you.”
He scowls.
“I want this done today, and it’s only a friggin’ coffee table.”
“Quit with the moaning. You moan like a girl,” Dante says as he tries to follow the instructions.
“Says he who has done nothing but complain about his sister wanting to visit him,” I counter with.
The last time I saw Emelia, she was just above my knee with pigtails. Apparently, she’s grown into a beautiful woman, and Dante wants to keep her away from his church. Or more specifically, he wants to keep her away from all the single men at the church because none are good enough for her. He’s damn picky if you ask me.
“I have a better idea. Why don’t you go put the kitchen stuff away and I’ll finish this?” I grin knowing there isn’t any way he’s going to refuse that offer. He loves being in the kitchen, which I guess is how I didn’t lose so much weight when I was recovering because he cooks well and really did take care of me. I owe him more than I’ll ever be able to repay.
“I’m out of here.” He gets to his feet. “I’ll rustle something up once everywhere is sorted,” he says running out of the lounge.
I sm
ile and drop to the floor to finish the damn coffee table—the last thing in the lounge to be put together.
I’m proud of how everything is coming together, and I hope when I bring Sabrina here in two days time that she’ll think so and want to stay with me.
~*~*~*~
“So, tell me Casanova, just how do you intend on getting your woman on the plane?” Dante points the sauce spoon at me before going back to stirring.
My mouth is salivating at the thought of his mother’s sauce, which is amazing. Lucia’s best friend was Italian and, before Lucia passed away, she taught her to cook real Italian food and did the same with each of Lucia’s sons after her friend died so Dante cooks like a pureblooded Italian.
Dante glances back to me, which is a reminder he’s waiting for answers that I haven’t even thought about. I’d planned on walking up to her and asking her if we could talk. Then I was going to take her to the airport. It hadn’t entered my head that she would refuse.
“You don’t have a plan, huh?”
“She won’t refuse,” I say with more confidence than I feel.
“I’m not saying she’s going to refuse. I’m just trying to suggest that you have a backup plan.”
I wish I’d never told him my plans.
“You’re damn lucky you don’t have woman troubles,” I mumble.
He laughs. “I may be a priest, but I can tell you that my women problems are far from over.”
“You’re not celibate?” I blurt in confusion. He’s a priest, what the fuck is he admitting.
“I can still have women problems being a man of the cloth.” He rolls his eyes. “Mass tends to be more like dodgem cars at a carnival. As soon as Mass is over, I’m dodging all the young women. They’re like a flock of birds.”
I grin at his blush. “So you have young catholic girls crushing on you?”
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