The Butterfly Room

by Lucinda Riley

  An hour later, the gallery door opened and Freddie appeared through it, shaking the rain from the shoulders of his raincoat.

  ‘Good morning, my dear Posy. It’s foul out there, absolutely foul,’ he said as he walked towards her.

  ‘Hello, Freddie.’

  Even Posy could hear the limpness of her greeting.

  ‘Look, I know you must be livid with me, cancelling lunch yesterday at such short notice.’

  ‘Really, don’t worry about it, Freddie.’

  ‘Well, I have and I am.’ Freddie began to pace around the gallery. ‘Good God, this is frustrating!’

  ‘What is?’

  ‘Just . . .’ He looked at her, despair in his eyes. ‘Nothing,’ he said, shaking his head.

  ‘Forgive me, Freddie, but one way and another, I’m not in the mood for any more dramatics. Especially when I have absolutely no idea what they’re about. So if you still refuse to tell me, I’d be very grateful if you’d leave.’

  Posy could feel that she was close to tears, which really wouldn’t do at all. She turned away from him and made to walk back to the office.

  ‘Posy, I’m so very sorry. I really didn’t mean to upset you further,’ he said, following her.

  ‘It’s not you, really,’ she said, reaching for a tissue from the box on the desk and blowing her nose hard. ‘It’s all to do with the sale of my damned house. It’s caused a big upset between my sons.’

  ‘Posy, please don’t cry, I can’t bear it . . .’

  Freddie put his arms around her and pulled her to him. Despite herself, Posy felt too low to resist. She needed a hug, and despite herself, in Freddie’s arms she felt safe and protected. She heard him sigh heavily above her, then looked up at him as he leant down to kiss her gently on the forehead. The bell that indicated a customer was entering tinkled and they pulled apart immediately.

  ‘Listen, how about I take you to The Swan for a bite to eat once you’ve finished here? Then you can tell me all about it. See you at one?’

  ‘Yes, that would be lovely, thank you, Freddie.’

  Posy watched him leave and thought that, whatever the state of their relationship, she needed a friend. And at the very least, she thought as she walked towards the customer, Freddie was that.

  After a restorative gin and tonic and an attentive Freddie listening to her tale of woe, Posy’s spirits were somewhat revived.

  ‘Dearie me,’ Freddie sympathised as they munched their way through excellent fish and chips. ‘This sounds far more complicated than the issue of the sale of the house. A bad case of sibling rivalry, as much as anything else.’

  ‘Of course it is,’ Posy agreed. ‘Sam has always felt second-rate to Nick’s business success. He wanted to crow to him about his new company and buying Admiral House. Nick was terribly upset I hadn’t told him of my plans, not to mention the fact that he genuinely loves the house. And there you have it. This is how a family falls apart,’ she sighed, ‘and I just can’t bear for it to happen to mine.’

  ‘Well, you must talk to Nick, who, if you ask me, sounds as if he was being more than a little petulant.’

  ‘Perhaps,’ Posy said, ‘but even though Nick is usually the more easy-going of my sons, once he gets a bee in his bonnet he can be very blinkered and stubborn, especially when it comes to his brother.’

  ‘I’m sure he’ll come round, Posy, and look, at the end of the day, I’m afraid that for once, you have to put yourself and your needs first. That house of yours seems to have caused you nothing but grief lately and I really think you should just get on and sell it.’

  Posy studied the vehemence on his face. ‘You really don’t like Admiral House, do you?’

  ‘What I like or dislike is completely irrelevant. What is relevant, and what matters to me, is seeing you happy. And if you want my humble opinion, it’s time you moved on.’

  ‘Yes, you’re right. Okay,’ Posy breathed as she drained her gin and tonic. ‘I’m going to do as you suggested and give Sam first refusal.’

  ‘Good. Letting go is always difficult – when I sold the house in Kent after my wife died, it was the hardest decision I’ve ever made. But there’s no doubt it was the right one.’

  ‘I’ll go and see Marie at the estate agency when we’re finished here,’ Posy promised.

  ‘That’s the spirit,’ Freddie said, signalling for the bill. He looked at her for a long time before he thumped his fist on the table.

  ‘Hang it all! Life is too short not to!’

  ‘Not to what, Freddie?’

  ‘To ask you if you would like to come to Amsterdam with me the weekend after next. I’ve been invited to the seventieth birthday party of one of my oldest friends, Jeremy – we were at Bar School together. I’d love you to come with me, Posy, I really would.’

  ‘Right. Well . . .’

  ‘Look, I understand I’m guilty of giving you mixed messages, but I really think that a weekend away from Southwold would do us both a power of good – breathe in some fresh air unencumbered by the past.’

  ‘Our past, you mean?’

  ‘Yes, that, and . . .’ Freddie shook his head. ‘I think we deserve some fun, Posy, both of us. No strings attached of course, separate rooms and all that in the hotel.’

  ‘Of course.’

  ‘So?’ Freddie eyed her.

  ‘Why not? I haven’t been abroad for years and as you say, life’s too short. So yes, I accept your invitation.’ Posy smiled as they walked through the bar over towards the exit.

  ‘Mum! Hello there.’

  Posy felt a blush rise to her cheeks as she saw Sam on a bar stool, drinking a pint of Adnams.

  ‘Hello, Sam.’

  ‘And who is your friend?’ he asked her, glancing at Freddie and giving his mother a sly smile.

  ‘Freddie Lennox, pleased to meet you.’ Freddie held out his hand and gave Sam’s a firm shake.

  ‘And you. Made a decision on our little deal yet, Mum?’

  Feeling this wasn’t the moment to inform Sam of the choice she’d just made, Posy merely said, ‘I will let you know as soon as I have. Bye now.’ Then she walked swiftly through the bar to the lobby. ‘Right, Freddie, thank you for lunch and the advice. Now I intend to act on it. I’m off to see Marie before I change my mind.’

  Having walked to the estate agent’s and told Marie that Sam had first refusal but that she was not to contact him until a solicitor was instructed, Posy hurried through the rain to her car. Starting the engine, she decided she didn’t want to go home and sit and stew once more on the Nick/Sam situation. Remembering Amy had said yesterday that the children were on half-term and she was having to take a week off from the hotel to look after them, Posy parked in front of the bakery, dashed inside to buy a cake, then headed down Ferry Road to see her daughter-in-law and grandchildren.

  ‘Hello, Amy, how are you?’ Posy said as Amy opened the door. ‘I brought you a cake.’

  ‘I . . . thanks . . .’ A paler than usual Amy put a hand to her unbrushed hair and Posy noticed her eyes were red. She looked as though she’d been crying. ‘I wasn’t expecting any visitors,’ she said as she led the way through the cluttered hall and into the sitting room. The floor was covered in children’s toys and the sofa in a large pile of unironed clothes. Jake and Sara were both sitting in front of a grainy television and barely acknowledged their grandmother’s presence.

  ‘Why don’t we leave those two whilst they’re engrossed and go and make some tea?’ suggested Posy gently.

  ‘Okay, but the kitchen’s in a worse state than this.’

  ‘I’ve come to see you, I don’t care about the housekeeping,’ Posy said as she followed Amy into the kitchen. ‘Are you all right, my dear? You don’t look too good.’

  ‘Oh, I think I’ve got that bug that’s been going around, that’s all,’ said Amy, switching on the kettle and blowing her nose on some kitchen roll.

  ‘Then you should be in bed.’

  ‘I wish.’ Amy leant over the stained work
top and Posy saw her shoulders were shaking.

  ‘Amy, my dear,’ Posy went towards her, then pulled her into her arms and held her as she sobbed. ‘There, there, tell me what the matter is,’ she comforted.

  ‘Oh Posy, I can’t,’ Amy sobbed.

  ‘Yes you can, and if it’s about Sam, I really won’t feel you’re being disloyal. I know his faults better than anyone. I’m his mother.’

  ‘I . . .’ Amy hiccupped as she tried to speak. ‘I just don’t know how we’re going to get through this month, I really don’t. We’re at the limit of our overdraft, we’ve got hundreds of pounds of bills to pay, including the telephone, gas and electricity, which is already overdue, and all Sam can do is spend what we do have drinking in the wretched pub! The kids are being a nightmare and I feel so ill and . . . I’m so sorry, Posy.’ Amy slumped onto a kitchen chair. ‘I’m at the end of my tether, I really am.’

  Posy tore off some more kitchen roll and handed it to Amy, who wiped her face and blew her nose again. ‘Of course you are, Amy dear. Everyone reaches their limit when their cup of endurance fills up so much that it overflows. That’s what’s happened to you. To be honest, I’m amazed you’ve held out this long.’

  ‘Are you?’ Amy lifted her eyes to Posy’s, who sat down next to her and took her hands.

  ‘Yes. Everyone who knows you thinks you’re incredibly loyal to Sam. You’ve had such a tough time, Amy, and you’ve never complained.’

  ‘Up until now.’

  ‘Well, it’s high time that you did, for your sake if nobody else’s. You’re not a saint, darling girl, just human like the rest of us.’

  ‘I’ve tried to be positive, I really have, but it’s so difficult when you’re stuck in a miserable hole like this with the rain pouring down, and feeling there’s just no hope.’

  ‘You’re absolutely right, this is a hole, but I promise you, there is hope,’ reassured Posy. ‘Now, let me make you some nice hot tea and we can talk about what you’re going to do to at least start trying to solve the financial problems.’

  ‘I could get a sub on next month’s wages, but the problem is, that’ll leave us even shorter in a few weeks’ time.’

  ‘I think you have to live from day to day at present,’ said Posy as she switched the kettle on. ‘Is Sam earning nothing at all?’

  ‘No, not until he gets one of these projects off the ground. At the moment, it’s all – as usual – speculative.’

  ‘Well, I do have a little good news, Amy. I’ve just been to see Marie and told her that Sam can have first refusal on Admiral House.’

  ‘Really? Well, that will cheer him up,’ Amy agreed. ‘Are you absolutely sure, Posy?’

  ‘No, but at least Sam can now have a shot.’

  ‘I meant about selling.’

  ‘Of course not, but as a very good friend said to me earlier, one must move on. And at least if the project does go well, then you really could be looking to a brighter future,’ suggested Posy.

  ‘I suppose so. Sam certainly seems more committed and excited about this project than I’ve seen him for a long time. But things have gone wrong so many times in the past, I almost don’t dare to hope.’

  As Posy passed Amy her tea, the door opened and a little ragamuffin with tousled hair and a dirty face came in. Sara climbed onto her mother’s knee and stuck a thumb into her mouth.

  ‘Cuddle, Mummy,’ she said.

  ‘Now, Amy, the other thing I think you should seriously consider is moving in with me until the situation improves. I really don’t think this house is equipped to see a young family through a long winter. You’ll end up catching your deaths. The draughts here are far worse than at mine,’ said Posy, shivering involuntarily.

  ‘We can’t. You know Sam would never consider it.’

  ‘Well, Sam has got to start thinking of his family and their welfare before his silly pride. Now, Sara, I’m going to make your Mummy a hot water bottle, then tuck her up in bed with a couple of paracetamol.’

  ‘No, Posy, really, I’m fine.’

  ‘You’re exhausted and besides, Sara and I are going to bake jam tarts for tea, aren’t we?’

  Sara jumped off her mother’s knee and came to hug her grandmother. ‘Yes please!’

  There was no sign of Amy by teatime, so Posy fed the children, then bathed them, thinking how much good it would do Amy to rest. She was just reading them a bedtime story when the key turned in the lock and Sam arrived home. Kissing both children goodnight, Posy crept past Amy’s bedroom and down the stairs.

  ‘Hi, Mum. What . . .’

  Posy put a finger to her lips. ‘Hush. Amy’s sleeping. She’s not at all well. Come into the kitchen. We’ll talk there.’

  ‘What’s been going on?’ asked Sam, looking confused.

  ‘I arrived here this afternoon to find your wife hysterical.’

  ‘What about?’

  ‘Perhaps the fact that there seems to be no money to pay any bills, that she’s reduced to living in a house that isn’t fit for dogs, that she works all hours God sends and takes care of the children, with, it seems, little if any support from you, might have contributed to her current state of mind.’

  ‘My God, she has been having a bitch about me, hasn’t she?’

  ‘Sam, I would say that it is not in your interest to anger me at present. Sit down, please.’

  Sam recognised that rare cold undertone from childhood in his mother’s voice and did as he was told.

  ‘Now listen to me, please. Your wife is on the edge of a nervous breakdown. If you dare to criticise her for letting her troubles pour out, you’ll find no sympathy from me. Amy has supported you through thick and thin for years without complaint. I and others have often wondered why she’s done it, but for whatever reason, you’re a very lucky man.’

  ‘Please don’t lecture me, Mum. I realise I’m married to a saint, everyone tells me, and that I must be grateful and—’

  ‘Sam, you are at risk of losing Amy unless you get your act together and fast. And I really don’t want to see that happen, for the children’s sake, if not yours. Therefore, I’m prepared to help you.’

  ‘How?’

  ‘I’ve written a cheque made out to you for five hundred pounds. From what Amy says, that should at least pay the utility bills and keep the wolf from the door for a while.’

  ‘I really don’t think things are as bad as Amy made out, Mum . . .’

  ‘I think they are. Here.’ Posy handed over the cheque. Sam took it and read it.

  ‘Thanks, Mum, I’ll pay you back when things get going, of course.’

  ‘Of course.’ Posy took a deep breath. ‘And the other thing you should know is that, for the sake of Amy and the children, I’m prepared to give your company first refusal on Admiral House.’

  Sam’s face lit up. ‘Mum, that’s fantastic! I don’t know what to say.’

  ‘You can say whatever you wish, but it’ll be to my solicitor, who will be dealing with it from here on in,’ Posy said briskly. ‘It will obviously take time to organise everything, so I won’t want to move out before February, but there’s no reason why the paperwork can’t be completed as soon as possible. I’ll contact my solicitor tomorrow and let him know of my decision. I think it’s far better if this is conducted on a purely business basis. I’m giving you the opportunity, but if you mess it up, then it’s down to you.’

  ‘Of course, Mum. I’m thrilled.’ Sam made to hug her, but Posy pulled away.

  ‘I just pray that for your family’s sake you make a success of the project. And now I really must be going.’

  ‘Are you sure you don’t want to stay? I’ll run out and get a bottle of champagne to celebrate?’

  Posy sighed. ‘I hardly think, in your current financial predicament, that champagne is within your range. Please give my love to Amy and tell her I’ll see her soon. Goodbye, Sam.’

  ‘Bye, Mum.’

  As soon as the door closed, Sam let out a whoop of triumph.

  Chapter 1
7

  Nick threw his mobile down onto the passenger seat of his car. He stared into the distance, not really knowing what to think or feel.

  So now he knew for sure. The question was, where did he go from here? Did he tell Tammy the truth, come straight out with it and try to explain an inexplicable situation? Or was it better to get through the next few weeks, do what he had to do whilst covering his tracks, and then when things were more settled, tell her?

  Who knew how things would turn out? Perhaps it was kinder if he shouldered the burden alone for a while. The situation would obviously mean he’d have to play it very carefully and there was no doubt it would add a lot of extra pressure to his already pressurised life. But what could he do? Under the circumstances, he could hardly walk away, which, if he was honest, was what he desperately wanted to do at this moment.

  Nick pondered how one’s life could be running perfectly smoothly and happily, then in the space of a few short weeks, everything could change. If he was in the mood to be self-indulgent, then he could say that fate had dealt him a very rough hand, but he knew there were others who were currently suffering a far worse plight than he was.

  Nick sighed deeply, then pulled himself together and climbed out of the car. As he put his key into the lock of Paul and Janey’s house, he told himself he’d cope. At the end of the day, he had no other choice.

  The doorbell rang and Evie shouted for Clemmie to answer it.

  ‘Hi, Clemmie. How are you?’

  ‘I’m good, thanks, Marie. Mum’s upstairs.’

  ‘Right. I was going to ask you whether you wanted to come round to ours for lunch and a play with Lucy,’ Marie said as she followed Clemmie inside and up the stairs.

  ‘I’d love to. It gets boring in the hols, especially because I don’t know anyone around here.’

  ‘School’s going well?’

  ‘Yes. I love it,’ she said as she pushed open the door to her mother’s bedroom. Evie was in bed, propped up on pillows.

  ‘Hi, Marie. How are you?’