The Butterfly Room

by Lucinda Riley

  Jake nodded, his eyes glued to the comic she’d bought him. She dashed round the side of the house and let herself in, then chased up the stairs to the bedroom where Sebastian worked.

  ‘Amy!’ He turned from his computer and stood up.

  ‘I can’t stay long. The kids are in the car outside.’

  Sebastian walked towards her, then pulled her to him. ‘Darling, I’ve missed you,’ he whispered into her neck.

  ‘Something happened this morning and I’ve made a decision. I’ve found a place for me and the kids to live, and I’m leaving Sam. I’m going to tell him tomorrow.’

  Sebastian stared down at her in shock and surprise. ‘Is it too insensitive to tell you how happy that makes me?’

  ‘Probably, but I think I need to hear it.’

  ‘Well, darling, I am.’ He squeezed her tightly to him. ‘And I promise I’ll be there as much as you want me to be.’

  ‘Which won’t be a lot to start off with,’ she sighed. ‘The place I’ve found to live in is owned by Freddie, Posy’s gentleman friend. He lives next door.’

  Sebastian raised an eyebrow. ‘Well, that’s just peachy. I live with the soon-to-be-ex mother-in-law, and you go and rent a place slap bang under the mother-in-law’s boyfriend’s nose.’ He smiled down at her. ‘We might just as well put a front-page advert in the Gazette.’

  ‘I know, but I really think Freddie is the kind of decent chap who will offer discretion. Besides, it’s cheap, very nice and available immediately.’

  ‘Yes, Freddie is indeed a decent sort, and you know I’ll help financially if necessary. All you have to do is ask.’

  ‘Thanks, Sebastian, but I really need to do this on my own. And I want you to know this has nothing to do with you.’

  ‘Nothing?’

  ‘It’s . . . well, I’ve been left with no choice.’

  ‘I see.’

  ‘I’d have had to do it, even if I’d never met you.’

  ‘Right.’

  ‘Please don’t breathe a word to Posy, will you? Not yet.’

  ‘Of course not.’

  As Amy swept a hand distractedly through her hair, Sebastian saw the bruise on her wrist.

  ‘How did you get that?’ he asked her.

  ‘I tripped and fell and my wrist took the brunt of it. I must go – Sam will wonder where we are.’

  ‘Amy, please be careful, won’t you? Sam might get . . . upset when you tell him.’

  ‘I will, don’t worry. Sam’s away tonight. He’s meeting his backer in that Victoria Hotel place in North Norfolk. The backer is handing over the cash for the deposit so they can exchange contracts on this house in the next few days.’

  Bingo! thought Sebastian.

  ‘So I’ll pack our stuff up tonight,’ Amy continued, ‘then put it in the car. After I’ve told him tomorrow morning, I’ll be ready to leave.’

  ‘Amy, please tell me; are you afraid of Sam?’

  ‘Afraid? No, of course not. I just know he’ll be upset when I tell him, that’s all. I’ll call you as soon as I’ve done the deed.’

  ‘Amy?’

  ‘Yes?’ She stopped and turned back to him.

  ‘Just remember, I love you, and if you need me, I’m here, okay?’

  Sebastian watched from his upstairs window as Amy climbed into her battered car, started the engine and disappeared up the drive. Then he grabbed his mobile and dialled the number the fraud squad had given him to tell them about Mr Noakes’s whereabouts tonight. If all went well, Amy wouldn’t have to tell Sam at all . . .

  Chapter 30

  Once the children were in bed, Amy packed a holdall full of her clothes and gathered together some of the children’s toys, stowing them beneath a blanket in the back of her car. Then she climbed into bed and did her best to fall asleep, but in the end, she gave up trying and went to make herself a cup of coffee, which sent her beating heart pounding even faster.

  ‘Keep calm, Amy, you must keep calm for the children,’ she whispered to herself as she watched a dove-grey dawn struggling to emerge from night.

  She tried to focus on the fact that tonight, she and the children would be safely in the cosy sanctuary of the Hophouse. She wanted to cry with relief that she’d found it. Even though she hadn’t told Freddie, the fact that it was so tucked away was a huge bonus. So if Sam did manage to find her, all she’d have to do was scream and Freddie would hear her.

  She woke the children at seven and fed them breakfast, trying to keep everything as normal as she could. On the way to drop them at school, she listened to Jake read his book and Sara chatter about her angel costume for the Nativity play.

  Back home, she went to their bedroom and stuffed their clothes into two bin bags, adding them hurriedly to the collection in the boot of her car. Then she sat at the kitchen table, beside herself with tension. She even looked at the dregs of a bottle of red wine on the table and considered drinking it. The clock on the wall told her it was nearly nine o’clock – another hour until Sam had said he’d be back. She was just considering going out for a walk when her mobile rang.

  ‘Oh God,’ she breathed as she saw it was Sam.

  ‘Hello?’

  ‘Amy, thank God! I need you to come and get me.’

  ‘Have you broken down?’

  ‘No, I . . . I’m at Wells police station in Norfolk. Oh God, Amy . . .’ Sam’s voice broke, ‘they’ve arrested me.’

  ‘I . . . but why?’

  ‘I can’t talk now. My solicitor’s arranged bail and I need a thousand pounds. Can you go to Mum, tell her what’s happened and beg her to lend you the money? I have to go now. Bye, darling, I love you.’

  The line went dead. Amy stared at her mobile, her mind going blank with shock. When she recovered her senses she found she was shivering from head to toe. She dialled Posy’s number and told her briefly about the call from Sam and what he needed.

  ‘I’ll drive into town and go to the bank immediately to get the cash, then I’ll come to you. Try not to panic, Amy, I’m sure there’s been some mistake.’

  Whilst she waited for Posy, Amy knew instinctively there’d been no mistake. She sat at the kitchen table focusing on a crack that zigzagged all the way down the wall.

  ‘Oh my dear.’ Posy arrived on her doorstep, white with shock. Amy led her into the sitting room. ‘What did he actually say to you?’

  ‘That he’s been arrested and is at Wells police station in Norfolk,’ Amy answered robotically.

  ‘Amy, whatever can he have done?’

  ‘I have absolutely no idea,’ she said dully.

  ‘Perhaps it was drunk driving?’

  ‘Maybe.’

  ‘What if he’s hurt someone . . .?’

  ‘The best thing I can do is to go and find out.’

  ‘Would you like me to come with you for moral support?’

  Amy thought about all the stuff in the car boot and shook her head. ‘I’ll be fine, thank you.’

  ‘Right, well, here’s the thousand in cash.’ Posy pulled an envelope out of her handbag.

  ‘Thank you,’ said Amy as she put the money into her own bag. ‘I’ll be in touch as soon as I know anything.’

  Posy gave Amy a fierce hug. ‘Anything you and the children need, I’m here for you.’

  Amy did not allow herself to think during the hour’s drive to Wells. She played Classic FM very loudly and concentrated on the road.

  At the tiny police station, she filled out a form and handed over the thousand pounds. She was told to sit in the waiting area, which was thankfully empty.

  Finally, Sam appeared. He looked dreadful; chalk-white, his hair standing on end like a toddler’s. She stood up and he sank into her arms. ‘Thank God you’re here, darling, thank God.’

  ‘Come on, let’s get out of here, shall we?’ she said gently.

  As they made their way outside, Sam hung on to her arm as though he didn’t have the strength to walk by himself.

  ‘My car’s still at the hotel,’ he
said as he sank into the passenger seat and Amy started the engine.

  ‘Okay. Tell me where to go.’

  ‘Head for the coast road and the Victoria is about ten minutes away, on the left. You remember.’

  As she navigated the car through the narrow streets of the town and eventually found herself on the coast road, Amy did remember the last journey she’d made to the lovely hotel, over ten years ago now. The excitement she’d felt as Sam had driven her along the coast, hoping she was right and he was going to propose. He hadn’t, but it had still been a wonderful night. Back then, the sun had been making a sparkling guest appearance. Today, grey clouds, heavy with the promise of rain, hung low over the land. They arrived in the car park and Amy drew up next to Sam’s Fiat.

  ‘Are you going to be okay to drive home?’ she asked him.

  ‘I . . . yes.’

  ‘Well, I’m not, until I know what it is you’re meant to have done.’

  ‘Oh God, Amy.’ Sam shook his head, unable to look at her. ‘I’ve let you and the kids down so badly. I really thought that this time, I’d do it, make you proud of me. Now everything’s gone, everything. What are we going to do?’

  ‘I don’t know until you tell me what’s happened.’

  ‘It’s my business partner, Ken Noakes. Apparently, he’s a crook and a fraudster of the first order. In a nutshell, he’s been ripping people off for years. Basically, the money used to fund the development on our property company is technically stolen. Or at least, owed to creditors. We were sitting in the bar having a drink – Ken had brought the hundred grand in cash with him so we could exchange on Admiral House today – and these two plain-clothes policemen suddenly appear and ask us both to come with them to answer questions in relation to “fraudulently obtaining money from . . .”’ Sam shook his head. ‘I can’t remember the exact words. I was too shocked. One of them put me in his car and Ken went with the other officer. I haven’t seen him since.’

  ‘Okay, but if this is to do with Ken Noakes’s past, why did they arrest you?’

  ‘Because I’m the sole bloody director of his company! Ken’s just my backer, his name’s not even on the company notepaper! Christ! How was I supposed to know his money came from some dodgy dealing?! The fraud squad just didn’t believe I didn’t know.’

  ‘Oh Sam . . .’ Amy bit her lip. ‘Had you really no idea?’

  ‘Of course not! Christ, Amy,’ he swore angrily. ‘I might be many things, but I’m not a crook. Okay, so I may have some failed businesses behind me, and believe me, they’d dug up any dirt they could find on those. They accused me of trading whilst insolvent on the last company I ran, which is also a criminal offence. They might have me for that as well, but the solicitor who was with me thinks he can probably get me off all charges in return for giving evidence against Ken. The problem is, I know nothing, nothing at all.’ Sam looked at her. ‘Amy, you do believe me, don’t you?’

  Despite everything, Amy did. Her husband wasn’t a criminal, just desperate and not very bright.

  ‘Of course I do. Let’s talk when we get home.’

  ‘Oh God.’ Sam put his face in his hands. ‘How am I ever going to face Mum? The sale of Admiral House is up the swannee, that’s for sure. I’m such a bloody failure. Nothing I’ve ever done has succeeded and I really have tried so hard. I’m so sorry, Amy. I’ve let you down yet again.’ Suddenly he clutched her arm. ‘Promise you won’t leave me. Without you and the kids, I’m . . . I just . . . well, I couldn’t go on.’

  Amy couldn’t reply.

  ‘Promise me, Amy, please. I love you. I really do.’ Sam began to sob. ‘Don’t leave me, please don’t leave me . . .’ he begged as he reached across the gear-stick and clung to her like a child.

  ‘I won’t leave you, Sam.’ Amy heard a dull voice that didn’t sound like her own reply.

  ‘Promise?’

  ‘I promise.’

  When they arrived home, Amy told Sam to go upstairs and take a shower. He came down twenty minutes later looking more like himself.

  ‘I’m going to drive over to Admiral House and see Mum. At the very least, I owe her an explanation.’

  ‘Yes, you do.’ Amy continued to fold clothes from the airer into a laundry basket.

  ‘I love you, Amy, and I’m so, so sorry. I’ll get us out of this mess somehow, I promise. Bye, sweetheart.’

  When Sam had left the house, Amy waited five minutes, then went to her car and lugged everything from the boot inside. She emptied the contents back into the drawers of both her own and the children’s room. Then she walked back down the stairs, took the piece of paper with Freddie’s number out of her purse and dialled it on her mobile.

  ‘Hello?’

  The deeply comforting sound of his voice threatened to disturb the strange calm that had descended on her. She took a deep breath.

  ‘Hello, Freddie, it’s Amy Montague here. I’m just calling to tell you that something’s come up and I’m not going to be able to move in today after all.’

  ‘Right. Well, that’s not a problem. Just let me know when is convenient, Amy. No hurry.’

  ‘The problem is, I’m not sure when that will be, so it’s best if you let the Hophouse to someone else.’

  There was a pause on the line.

  ‘I see. Is everything all right, Amy?’

  ‘Not really, no, but I’m sure Posy will tell you what’s happened. I . . . I need to go now, Freddie, but thank you so much for your kindness. Bye.’

  She ended the call before she burst into tears. Then, knowing Sam could be back at any moment, she dialled Sebastian’s number. It went straight to voicemail.

  ‘It’s me, Amy. Please meet me in the bus shelter on the sea front at five today.’

  Amy dropped her mobile into her handbag and went upstairs to put on her uniform for work.

  Sebastian was already there when Amy arrived. He stood up from the bench and made to hold her, but she drew back.

  ‘Amy, I know what’s happened. Posy told me after Sam had left.’

  ‘Yes.’ Amy’s voice was a monotone. ‘I’m here to tell you that I’m staying with Sam because I’m his wife, the mother of his children, and because he needs me.’

  Sebastian did his best to choose his words carefully. ‘I understand that today has been a shock, and obviously you feel you should support him just now. You need to let the dust settle, of course you do.’

  ‘No, it’s more than that, Sebastian. What we did – what I did – was wrong. I’m Sam’s wife, I took vows in a church. I’m the mother of his children and . . . I can’t leave him. Ever.’

  ‘Are you telling me we – this – is over?’

  ‘Yes. I made my bed and I have to lie in it. Sam’s in a terrible state, and whatever I feel, I have to stand by him. If he knew about us, I think it would finish him. He virtually threatened suicide in the car this morning.’

  ‘I understand, but maybe in time . . .’

  ‘No! Sebastian, there won’t ever be a “time”. Please, believe me. I will never leave my husband, so it’s not fair to string you along. Go and have a life with someone who is free, please,’ she begged him.

  ‘I don’t want a life with anyone else. I want it with you. I love you!’

  ‘I’m sorry, Sebastian, but as I said, it’s over. I’ve got to go. Bye.’

  Amy turned and began to walk away from him.

  ‘Amy! Wait! I know what he does to you!’

  She shook her head as she continued to walk swiftly towards the High Street. Sebastian watched as she turned a corner and was gone. He swore heavily under his breath, knowing this was all of his doing. If he hadn’t alerted the fraud squad to Ken Noakes’s whereabouts, Amy and the children would now have been safely in Freddie’s cottage. By trying to protect Posy, he’d managed to destroy his own chance of happiness – and ultimately Amy’s.

  Sebastian sat down on the bench on the sea front, put his head in his hands and sobbed.

  London

  Summer 1958


  I stood on the bus, crushed on one side by a woman with a pushchair, on the other by a youth who stank of stale sweat. Even though the windows were open, it was hotter than any greenhouse I’d ever worked in. I was glad when I saw Baron’s Court appearing round the corner. I rang the bell and squeezed through the crowd to step off the back of the bus.

  London in August was extremely unpleasant, I thought to myself, remembering with a pang the beautiful summer days I’d enjoyed in Cornwall at the same time of year. The city wasn’t built for the few days a year it experienced serious heat, I realised as I walked along the pavement to my block of flats. Estelle and I were on the top floor of the building, which meant six flights of stairs to reach it. I was sure the exercise was good for me, but not when the temperature was in the high seventies. I unlocked the front door, dripping with perspiration, and went straight to the tiny and rather grim bathroom to run a lukewarm bath. As usual, the sitting room smelt of cigarette smoke and I opened the window as wide as I could to release it, then set about clearing the coffee table, which was littered with empty beer bottles, gin glasses and overflowing ashtrays.

  Taking them into the kitchen and dumping their contents into the sink and the bin respectively, I wondered whether it really had been a good idea to share a flat with Estelle. We had such totally different lifestyles; whereas I was out bright and early every morning in order to arrive at Kew Gardens for a nine o’clock start, Estelle could sleep in much later – her daily class at Covent Garden wasn’t until eleven. In the afternoons, she would come home to rest before leaving for a performance just as I was on my way home. I would have peace from now until eleven or so, by which time I was in bed, exhausted from a day’s work. Just as I was dropping off, the front door would open and Estelle would arrive with an array of bohemian friends, fresh from the bars around the theatre, to continue the party. I would lie there sleepless as the music was turned on full-blast – I’d once loved Frank Sinatra, but now he felt like my torturer as his mellow voice sang out to me into the small hours.

  Having cleared up the sitting room and wondering why Estelle never thought of doing it herself before she went out to the theatre, I undressed and climbed into the bath, which was so small that I had to keep my knees bent into my chest.