Eventually, Evie’s long eyelashes fluttered and her eyes opened.
Immediately, Nick took Evie’s hand.
‘Hello, sweetheart. It’s Nick here. Good sleep?’
Evie gave a ghost of a smile and the barest hint of a nod.
He dug in his jacket pocket and produced a card made earlier by Clemmie, covered in tiny red hearts. ‘Clemmie sent this for you.’ Nick put it in front of Evie so she could see it. ‘Shall I read you what it says?’
Again, another almost imperceptible nod.
‘“Darling Mummy, I miss you and I love you sooo sooo much. Tell Daddy when I can come in to see you. All my love, Clemmie.”’
Tammy watched a tear appear at the corner of Evie’s eye. She heard her swallow.
‘Evie, I brought Tammy to see you as you asked. She’s just here.’
Evie turned her head slowly towards Tammy and gazed at her for a while. Tammy could feel herself reddening in embarrassment.
‘Hi, Evie, I’m Tammy. It’s lovely to meet you.’
Evie smiled, then her small pink tongue came out to lick her lips. ‘You too,’ she whispered. She reached out a skinny arm towards Tammy and opened the palm of her hand. Tammy’s own closed around it gently.
‘You’re very beautiful, like Nick said you were.’
‘He seems to have good taste in women,’ Tammy smiled as she squeezed Evie’s hand.
‘Yes.’ Evie was silent for a while as if garnering the energy to speak further. ‘Have you met . . . Clemmie?’
‘I have, yes. She’s just adorable, Evie. Honestly, you’ve done such a great job of bringing her up. I . . .’ Tammy gulped the tears back down. ‘You must be so proud of her.’
‘Yes, very.’
Tammy watched as Evie’s eyelids began to close and a nurse popped her head around the door.
‘Hello there, just checking Evie’s stats and meds,’ she said cheerfully as she took a clipboard from the end of the bed. Tammy wondered how on earth the nurse could keep smiling, faced every day with this.
‘Everything’s fine,’ the nurse confirmed. ‘I’ll leave you to it.’
Evie continued to sleep once the nurse had left the room. Nick turned to Tammy. ‘You’re doing great,’ he reassured her. ‘Fancy a cup of tea? I’ll go and get a couple from the cafe while she’s sleeping.’
Tammy wanted to tell him to stay, that she needed him by her to do this, but she let him go. She wondered how Meena was getting on at the shop, thought about how stock was getting low and then looked down at Evie and realised that none of it mattered. All that did was represented right here in this room; caring for this woman’s child as best she could.
‘Tammy?’
Evie’s voice brought her out of her reverie.
‘Yes?’
‘Where’s Nick?’
‘Gone to get some tea – he’ll be back really soon, I promise.’
‘No, I’m glad we’re alone. I . . . want to say that I’m happy you’ll be there for Clemmie. Nick is’ – Evie swallowed painfully – ‘good, but he’s a man, you know?’
‘I do know, yes,’ Tammy smiled.
‘Clemmie needs a woman, a mother; are you . . . are you okay with that?’
‘Oh Evie, completely. I was saying to Posy last night that I was worried I wasn’t maternal. But then I met Clemmie and I . . . fell in love with her. I feel ridiculously protective already.’
‘That’s good, I’m glad.’ Evie nodded. ‘I know . . . that I don’t have long left. I need to see Clemmie. Say . . . goodbye.’ She bit her lip hard and nodded.
‘When would you like to see her?’
‘As . . . as soon as possible is best.’
‘Okay, I’ll tell Nick.’
‘Look after her for me, won’t you? Love her for me . . .’
‘I promise I will, Evie.’
‘Thank you.’
Evie’s eyes closed once more just as Nick arrived back with the tea.
‘You okay, darling?’ he asked as he sat down and handed Tammy a tea in a styrofoam cup. Then he gently wiped away one of the tears that was rolling down her face.
‘She just said she wanted to see Clemmie to . . . say goodbye. As soon as possible.’
‘Okay.’ Nick took a sip of his tea and they sat there in silence as Evie slept. Forty minutes later, she still hadn’t woken, and Nick indicated they should leave.
‘I saw the doctor on my way back from getting the tea,’ he said as they walked through the ward. ‘I’m going to drive you home and then bring back Clemmie tonight. Evie was right – she’s running out of time.’
‘Okay,’ Tammy agreed.
‘I’ll have Mum come too so that she can drive Clemmie home afterwards, and then I can stay here with Evie,’ he added as they walked through the entrance doors and Tammy took great gulps of fresh air. ‘I don’t want her to be by herself when . . .’
‘Of course, Nick. Me and Posy are here for Clemmie, so you can be there for Evie,’ she said as they climbed into his car.
‘You’re sure you don’t mind?’
‘Mind? Oh my God, of course I don’t mind.’
‘Some women would,’ Nick said as he started the engine. ‘After all, I loved her once and I’m aware that this whole scenario is hardly an ideal way to start our relationship.’
‘Please, Nick, no more. If I didn’t want to be here for you and Clemmie, I wouldn’t be, okay? Evie needs you now more than I do.’
‘Thanks, Tammy.’ He gave her a wan smile as they set off. ‘It was good you saw her today. What else did she say?’
‘She said . . .’ Tammy gulped. ‘She asked me to take care of Clemmie for her. I said that I’d do my best.’
‘You already are, darling, and I can’t thank you enough.’
Tammy was just pouring herself a large glass of wine, having waved Nick, Clemmie and Posy off to the hospital, when she saw the headlights of a car coming up the drive.
‘Who on earth could that be?’ she whispered to herself as the car pulled round to the back entrance.
Peering out of the kitchen window, she saw Amy walking towards the back door.
‘Anyone at home?’ Amy called as she opened it.
‘Me!’ Tammy walked over to kiss Amy warmly on the cheek. ‘How lovely to see you. I thought Posy had told you she was off to the hospital with Nick and Clemmie tonight.’
‘She did, yes, but I wanted to see you, and Freddie said he’d have the kids for a bit. He’s really amazing – have you met him yet?’
‘No, who is he?’
‘Posy’s gentleman friend, as she calls him. But also my saviour. He’s a really special man, and I’m not joking, if Posy doesn’t grab him, I think I’ll marry him,’ Amy grinned. ‘Any wine going?’
‘Sure,’ Tammy said, pouring her a glass. ‘Wow, Amy,’ she added as she handed it to her, ‘Nick told me what you’ve been through recently, but you look really well.’
‘Now I’m over the shock, I’m starting to feel it. It’s just the relief, I suppose, knowing that Sam can’t get to me, that I don’t have to dread his key turning in the lock . . . Cheers.’
They clinked glasses.
‘You should have said something, Amy – you know I would have done anything to help.’
‘I know, but I was simply too scared of retribution. Sam would have denied it all anyway. You met him – saw what he’s like. He can charm the birds out of the trees.’
‘Well, he certainly didn’t charm me,’ Tammy shuddered. ‘I’ve met his sort before.’
‘Have you?’ Amy eyed her as they sat down at the kitchen table.
‘Unfortunately, yes. Luckily for me, I didn’t have kids and was financially independent with a job that took me all over the world. I could escape, whereas you couldn’t. So yes, I know a little of what you’ve been through. It’s all about control, so my therapist told me after the event. Little men who can only feel big by controlling their women through anger and violence. Anyway, here’s to him being gone.’<
br />
‘It’s not for long. He might only be in the clinic for six weeks.’ Amy shivered. ‘Which brings me to why I wanted to talk to you. Posy told me how Sam had beaten up Nick when he was younger. Then I had a long chat with Freddie, who used to be a criminal barrister, and I’m . . . well, I’m going to press charges for assault.’
‘Right. And how do you feel about it?’
‘Terrified, disloyal, guilty . . .’ Amy shrugged. ‘But as both Freddie and Posy said to me, if I don’t do it, it means Sam could do it again to someone else. And I can’t have that on my conscience. What do you think?’
‘I think, Amy, that it’s an incredibly brave thing to do, and the right thing.’
‘What do you think Posy will say? I mean, she’s been so kind to me and so supportive, but at the end of the day, Sam is her son.’
‘I know he is and I understand why you’re concerned, but Amy, I’m sure Posy will agree that you should go ahead.’
‘Freddie said that it’s unlikely Sam will get a long prison sentence; the fact he’s already gone to a clinic to sort out his alcoholism and anger issues will go a long way to showing the judge he’s accepted responsibility for what he did. He may even get off with a suspended sentence, but that isn’t the point. I just want what he did to me to be on record, so that in the future, if he ever does it again, it’s there in black and white. I’m dreading the process – the thought of standing up in court and giving evidence against my husband . . .’ Amy shuddered. ‘But he could have killed me that night, and I can’t be responsible for him doing that to someone else.’
‘No, you can’t, and everyone will be there to nurse you through it, I promise. Seriously, Amy, I’m proud of you. So many women are understandably too scared to bring their abuser to justice, especially if it’s their husband or partner. If more of us women did, then perhaps men would realise they can’t get away with it.’ Tammy reached for Amy’s hand across the table and squeezed it. ‘Do it for all of us, Amy, but most importantly, for you and your lovely children.’
‘Well, I’m going to leave it until after Christmas – one way and another, the Montague family have enough on their plate just now, but thanks so much for your support, Tammy.’ Amy’s eyes glistened with tears and she took a large sip of wine. ‘Anyway, let’s talk about something else, shall we? How’s Evie?’
‘Not good at all, I’m afraid. I went to see her today.’
‘And?’
‘I spent most of the time trying not to sob all over her. It’s just dreadful, Amy. Clemmie’s gone to the hospital so Evie can say goodbye.’
‘My God, life is shit, isn’t it? Poor Nick and poor Clemmie.’
‘I know. Nick is so good with her, so caring and kind.’
‘Nick is a good man, Tammy. And you mustn’t worry that he and Evie . . .’
‘Oh no, I don’t any more, really, Amy. I’m just glad Evie has him there with her.’
‘How can two brothers be so completely different?’ Amy sighed. ‘It looks like I picked the wrong one, anyway.’
Tammy sipped her wine and eyed Amy. ‘Have you heard from Sebastian recently?’
‘No, why should I have done?’
‘Because at the party, you two looked . . . well, you looked as though you were together, to be honest.’
‘We . . . were, for a while anyway. As a matter of fact, I was about to leave Sam just before he got arrested over the Admiral House fraud. Then, when he got released on bail, I knew I couldn’t. I told Sebastian to go away, that I never wanted to see him again.’
‘Right. And is it over? Even now that you’ve left Sam?’
Amy stared into the distance. ‘I keep telling my heart that it is, but it doesn’t seem to want to listen. Anyway, I had my chance and I blew it. And besides, just now I need to focus on the children. Due to what’s happened, they’ve just lost a father.’
‘So you’re not going to tell Sebastian that you’ve left Sam?’
‘No,’ Amy said firmly. ‘Anyway, I’m sure he’s moved on since then. I was probably just a bit of entertainment whilst he was staying here.’
‘From what I saw, it was a lot more than that, Amy.’
‘Tammy, I’m really sorry to say this, but could we talk about something else?’
‘Sorry, of course we can. How are the children?’
‘They’re great, thanks.’ Amy’s face lit up. ‘They love their new house and their new babysitter, i.e. Freddie. He spoils them rotten. By the way, do you know what you and Nick are going to do for Christmas yet?’
‘I think everything depends on Evie, to be honest. We haven’t made any plans.’
‘Of course. I’m so glad the two of you managed to work it out, though, Tammy. And welcome to motherhood.’ Amy smiled and they clinked glasses again.
‘I know. It’s a bit sooner than I would have wanted, but Clemmie is such a lovely little girl, and besides, at least I’ve got out of the pain of giving birth to her.’
‘True,’ Amy giggled, ‘though I’m sure that’s all to come. Are you and Nick living together in London yet?’
‘No, because I didn’t want to rush Clemmie. But I think that after Christmas I’ll move in with them to Nick’s new house in Battersea.’
‘I so hope you two get married, Tammy. It would be nice to have a celebration to look forward to.’
‘One step at a time, but yes, I’d like it too, and it would probably be good for Clemmie. I’ll have to wait for him to ask me, mind you.’ Tammy smiled. ‘We seem to have done everything back to front.’
‘That’s modern families for you, isn’t it? By the way, has Posy decided what she’s going to do about Admiral House yet?’
‘We chatted about it briefly this morning – I think she’s going to put it back on the market in January.’
‘It’s so sad – the house has been in her family for three hundred years. And it’s so beautiful. Sebastian was completely in love with it, and so am I. I’ll have to do a painting of it before it’s sold. I was thinking I could give it to Posy as a seventieth birthday present.’
‘Posy is seventy?’ Tammy looked amazed. ‘Wow, I’d put her at a decade younger.’
‘I know, she puts us all to shame with her energy. Well, I’d better head back and relieve Freddie from his twelfth viewing of The Muppet Christmas Carol. It’s been lovely to see you, Tammy, and if you get the chance, why don’t you pop round to see me? I’m just off the high street, but if you call me before you come, I can give you directions. Bring Clemmie too, and she can meet her naughty little cousins.’
‘If there’s time, of course I will. It’s really wonderful to see you, Amy.’ Tammy stood up and kissed her. ‘Take care, won’t you?’
‘Now I can say that I most definitely will. Bye, Tammy.’
Chapter 39
The following afternoon, Tammy was taking a walk around the gardens with Clemmie and Posy when her mobile rang in her pocket.
‘Excuse me, you two, won’t be a moment,’ she said, mouthing, ‘It’s Nick,’ over the top of Clemmie’s head. Posy nodded, then shooed Clemmie along so Tammy could take the call in privacy.
‘Hello?’
‘Tammy, it’s Nick. Evie died twenty minutes ago.’
She could hear the exhaustion and emptiness in his voice. ‘I’m so, so sorry, Nick.’
‘Thanks. I’ve got some paperwork to fill in here I’m afraid, but I’ll be home once that’s done. Don’t say anything to Clemmie until I get back, will you? I should tell her.’
‘Of course. Take care, darling. I love you.’
Tammy glanced across the mist-covered garden, smelling the comforting scent of wood smoke. Posy was cutting some holly from a bush while Clemmie held the ladder steady. Tammy walked towards them, and as she climbed down, Posy’s eyes searched hers. Tammy gave a small shake of her head and Posy nodded.
‘It seems that at last I have one member of the family who might share my passion for gardening, isn’t that right, Clemmie?’ Posy smiled.
‘Oh yes, I love flowers and plants and Granny is going to teach me all about them when they start to come out in the spring.’
‘I am indeed. Now then, shall we go in for a nice mug of hot choccy and some cake? It’s getting rather cold and dark out here.’
As they walked back towards the house, Tammy looked up towards the sky and saw the first stars already twinkling in the heavens above them.
Godspeed, dearest Evie. And I promise I’ll do the very best I can to take care of your daughter . . .
Nick arrived home an hour later, looking drawn and pale. He took Clemmie into the morning room where she and Posy had erected the Christmas tree, and shut the door behind him.
‘I could do with a large glass of wine, and I’m sure you could too,’ said Posy grimly as she reached for the bottle from the fridge.
‘Thanks, Posy.’
The two women sat together at the table in silence, deep in their own thoughts.
‘I was just a bit younger than Clemmie when I was told my father had died,’ Posy said eventually. ‘The difference being that I was unprepared; but still, however much her mother has done to help her cope with this news, it won’t be easy for her. She’ll be devastated. Up to this point it’s just been imagined, and now it’s real.’
‘How did your father die, Posy?’
‘Now that, Tammy, is rather a long story.’ Posy gave a sad smile. ‘Recently something happened, and I felt I had lost him all over again.’
Both women heard the door to the morning room open, and Nick emerged with Clemmie in his arms. Her head was buried in his shoulder.
‘She said she wanted to see you, Mum,’ he said as he handed her over to Posy.
Tammy caught a glimpse of Clemmie’s tear-stained face and felt her own heart lurch with love. Nick offered his hand towards her as Posy settled Clemmie onto her knee.
‘Any of that wine going spare?’ he asked.
Tammy retrieved the bottle and another glass, and the two of them left the room.
‘How did she take it?’
‘Very calmly, considering. She told me that Evie had said goodbye to her yesterday,’ he said as they sat down in the morning room in front of the fire. ‘But she’s obviously devastated.’
The Butterfly Room Page 47