‘Of course she is.’
‘I told her Mummy just drifted away peacefully up to heaven, which she did. Evie went to sleep and just didn’t wake up. It was for the best, Tammy, she’d been in so much pain. I . . .’
Then it was Nick’s turn to cry. Tammy drew him into her arms and he sobbed quietly on her shoulder.
‘I’m so sorry, so very sorry,’ Tammy whispered.
Nick drew away from her and wiped his eyes on his jumper. ‘Sorry to cry on you, Tammy. I need to pull myself together for Clemmie. There’s going to be things to sort out – Evie’s funeral, for example – she just wanted something quiet at the local church. And then there’s the house in Southwold – she’s left everything to Clemmie, of course. She thought it was probably best to sell it and put the money away to use for her education and university.’
‘That can be organised over time, Nick. The most important thing now is for all of us to take care of Clemmie.’
‘Yes.’ Nick gave her a weak smile. ‘Thank you for being so fantastic. I’m so sorry, Tammy, I’m—’
‘Hush, Nick. This is what love is, isn’t it? Sticking together through the bad times.’
‘Well, let’s hope there are some good times coming.’
‘There are, Nick. I promise,’ Tammy said with feeling.
Evie’s funeral took place on a dank, grey Wednesday a week later. Afterwards, the few mourners went back to Admiral House for a glass of mulled wine and Posy’s homemade mince pies.
‘I’m so proud of her,’ Posy said to Nick as they watched Clemmie sitting on the floor in the kitchen with her two new cousins. ‘She seems to be adjusting very well. Have you decided whether she’ll continue at her boarding school?’
‘We’ve talked about it and Clemmie says she’d like to stay on for now, yes. She’s made a lot of friends there, and at least it brings some normality, which I think is what she needs,’ replied Nick.
‘Hello, Posy,’ said Marie, wandering over to them. ‘Hi, Nick.’
‘Hi, Marie, thank you for coming,’ he replied politely.
‘Not at all. Evie and I were best friends at school. All those dreams we had . . .’ Marie shook her head. ‘Who’d have thought this was Evie’s future.’
‘I know, it’s so very sad,’ Posy sighed.
‘I’m aware this isn’t the moment, but have you given any consideration to what you’re going to do with Admiral House?’ Marie asked.
‘Not really, dear, no, but you’ll be the first to hear when I do,’ said Posy, irritated.
‘Well, I’ll be coming in to see you about putting Evie’s house on the market after Christmas,’ said Nick.
‘Great, well, I don’t think there’ll be a problem selling it. Clemmie will probably be richer than any of us. Just give me a call whenever.’ Marie left with a nod.
Nick looked at the expression on Posy’s face. ‘Life must go on, Mum,’ he said, ‘that’s the way of the world.’
‘I know. It did when I lost my father.’ Posy turned to glance at Freddie, dapper in a dark suit. He was deep in conversation with Tammy.
‘He seems very nice,’ Nick said with a grin.
‘He is. I feel very blessed.’
‘It’s about time you had someone to look after you.’
‘I hope we can look after each other,’ Posy smiled. ‘One day, I’ll tell you all about him, and why we couldn’t be together all those years ago. By the way, have you given any thought to Christmas, Nick?’
‘I talked to Tammy and Clemmie about it last night, and we’d love to be here with you, if that’s all right?’
‘Of course it is, Nick. Freddie, Amy and the children will be here too. It’s a difficult time for them as well – their first Christmas without their father. Anyway, we shall make it as jolly as we possibly can.’
Posy heard her mobile ringing from within her handbag. ‘Do excuse me, Nick, I should answer that.’
‘Of course.’
‘Hello?’
‘Posy, it’s Sebastian.’
‘Hello, Sebastian dear.’
‘Is this a bad time?’
‘No, not at all.’ Posy walked out of the kitchen and shut the door behind her in order to hear him. ‘Any luck?’
‘As a matter of fact, yes. Your father was buried in an unmarked grave in the grounds of Pentonville Prison.’
‘Unmarked?’
‘Well, he doesn’t have a headstone, only a number indicating whereabouts in the grounds he was laid to rest.’
‘Right. And can I go to see him?’
‘Well, it’s not standard procedure, but my contact twisted an arm or two and yes, you can go. Will Friday suit you?’
‘Even if it doesn’t, I’ll be there. Sebastian?’
‘Yes?’
‘Would you mind coming with me?’
‘Of course not. But wouldn’t you rather bring a family member?’
‘No, most definitely not. My sons know nothing about all this yet.’
‘All right, then – I didn’t think I’d ever be saying this to you, Posy, but I’ll meet you at the gates of the prison at two o’clock.’
‘Perfect. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for organising this.’
‘No problem, Posy. See you on Friday. Bye.’
Posy took a moment to compose herself, feeling the irony of discovering her father’s whereabouts just as they were burying another who had died before her time. She took a deep breath and walked back into the kitchen.
Chapter 40
‘Hello, Posy. All set?’ Sebastian smiled down at her.
‘As much as I ever will be, yes.’
‘You’re absolutely sure you want to do this? I mean, it’s a bit grim,’ he said, indicating the austere building in front of them.
‘Absolutely, yes.’
‘Right then. Here goes.’ Sebastian rang the buzzer, gave their names and the prison gates clicked open.
Fifteen minutes later, they were led into the garden by one of the prison clerks.
‘Your father was buried just over here, according to the coordinates,’ she said as they walked over the grass – and, Posy imagined, endless bodies – towards a spot by the tall prison walls.
‘Right,’ the clerk said, consulting the printout she’d brought with her. She pointed to a mound of grass just to their left. ‘That’s him there.’
‘Thank you.’
‘Want me to come with you?’ Sebastian asked her.
‘No, thank you, I won’t be long.’
Posy approached the shallow mound the clerk had indicated and walked towards it, her heart drumming against her chest. She stood above it, her eyes wet with tears as she noted that there was nothing on the surface to mark who her father had been.
‘Hello, Daddy,’ she whispered. ‘I’m so sorry you ended up in this terrible place. You deserved better.’
As Posy stood there, it struck her for the first time that her father had been given licence to kill as he flew his Spitfire into the epicentre of war. For that, he’d been decorated, named a hero. But here he lay, amongst hundreds of other criminals, because he’d taken the life of a man who had so cruelly betrayed him.
‘You shouldn’t be here, Daddy, and I want you to know that I forgive you. And that I’ll always love you.’
She opened the canvas bag she’d brought with her and took out the small posy she’d made – ethereal white hellebore blooms, interspersed with berry-laden sprigs of glossy green holly.
She laid it on top of the mound, then closed her eyes and said a prayer.
Sebastian and the clerk stood watching her from a respectful distance.
‘Does she know there are two other bodies buried in the same grave?’
‘She does not, and neither does she need to,’ Sebastian whispered firmly as Posy crossed herself then walked back towards them.
‘All done?’ he asked her.
‘Yes, thank you.’
Leaving the prison, Sebastian turned to her. ‘Now that’s
over, how do you fancy jumping in a taxi and going for a slap-up afternoon tea at Fortnum’s?’
‘Sebastian, there is nothing I would like more,’ Posy smiled. ‘Now, let’s get out of this terrible place.’
Half an hour later, they were sitting in the festive atmosphere of the Fountain Room at Fortnum & Mason. Sebastian had ordered them both a glass of champagne.
‘Here’s to your father, Posy. And to you.’ He clinked her glass and they both took a sip. ‘How do you feel, having seen where he’s buried? Better or worse?’
‘Definitely better,’ Posy nodded as she helped herself to a cucumber sandwich. ‘However dreadful, there has been an end to what happened. I’ve said goodbye to him.’
‘It was a very brave thing to do, Posy.’
‘Well, I’m glad I have, and I can’t thank you enough for organising it. So tell me, how is the book going?’
‘Oh, I’m getting there. I’ll be handing it in at the beginning of February.’
‘So what are you doing for Christmas?’
‘Nothing,’ Sebastian said. ‘Taking the time when everyone else is eating plum pudding to get some work done in peace.’
‘That sounds rather miserable, if you don’t mind me saying.’
‘I suppose it is, but far preferable to spending it with my mother and the god-awful man she married after my father died a few years ago. Christmas is for families, and I don’t have one of my own, so that’s just the way it is.’
‘Well now, would you consider coming to spend it with my family at Admiral House?’
‘Posy, that’s awfully kind of you, but I hardly think your family would want me there.’
‘Why?’
‘Oh,’ Sebastian mumbled as he buttered a scone, ‘just because I’m an outsider.’
‘Actually, Sebastian, I think my family would love it. Especially one person in particular.’
‘And who would that be?’
Posy eyed him, then chose another sandwich. ‘Amy, of course.’
She watched Sebastian blush to the roots of his hair.
‘Please don’t tell me you don’t know what I’m talking about, Sebastian, because it would be a lie, and I’ve had enough lies for a lifetime just now.’
‘Okay, I won’t.’ He reached for his champagne and took a deep gulp. ‘How did you know?’
‘It was written all over both of you.’
‘It might have been, but Amy told me verbatim that she would never leave Sam.’
‘Which is the reason why you left Admiral House so abruptly.’
‘Yes. Forgive me, Posy, you must be utterly furious at me. Sam’s your son, and—’
‘Amy has left him, Sebastian. He had brutally attacked her, and thanks to Freddie, didn’t do as much harm as he could have done. Sam is currently in a clinic in Essex trying to sort out his anger and alcohol issues.’
‘God, Posy.’ Sebastian shook his head. ‘I’m . . . well, I’m not sure what I am, to be honest. Horrified would come closest, I suppose.’
‘Did you ever suspect that Amy was a victim of abuse, Sebastian?’
‘I . . . it did cross my mind, yes. There were bruises in strange places . . .’
‘There’s no need to be coy, Sebastian. I often wonder why the younger generation pussy-foot around the older when it comes to things like sex, when we’ve generally had far more experience of those things than they have. Anyway, the situation is that Amy will not be going back to Sam, even if he walks away from the clinic a reformed character.’
‘I have to say I’m relieved. She’s such a good human being, and she’s had a miserable time of it.’
‘She has indeed, yes. Sebastian, do you love her?’
‘I do, Posy, and if I wasn’t sure when I left, I certainly am now. Even though she told me I didn’t have a hope, I’ve thought of nothing else in the past month. In truth, it’s why I’ve not been able to write. I just . . . well,’ he sighed, ‘I think about her constantly.’
‘So, how would you feel about joining us for Christmas?’ Posy repeated the question.
‘I really don’t know.’ He studied her hard across the table. ‘If I’m honest, I find it difficult to understand why you are encouraging your son’s wife back into the arms of her lover.’
‘Because I’m a realist, Sebastian. It’s not only Amy that’s had a difficult time, it’s you too. So many people don’t get their happy endings – it took me fifty years to find mine, after all, and if it’s in my power to make it so, then I’ll do all I can. Amy needs you, and so do my grandchildren.’
‘And what about Sam?’
‘No mother wants to admit that they’ve given birth to a bad apple, but I suppose that’s what he is. And by ignoring it, I let Nick go through a terrible time as a child – and Amy, who I love dearly, came close to losing her life. I’ve been wondering in the last few days whether it runs in the genes. After all, my father was stirred to kill his best friend.’
‘Posy, that’s completely different. It was a crime of passion. If it had happened in France, he’d probably have got an honourable pardon.’ Sebastian smiled. ‘Genes are genes, yes, but try to remember that each one of us has our own DNA, exclusive only to us. And in that exclusive bit can be all sorts of personality traits.’
‘I suppose you’re right; I’d never thought about it like that. Of course I feel huge guilt for Sam’s behaviour. Was it something I did, or didn’t do, was his bullying the result of losing his father so tragically young, and so on . . . but it’s a road to nowhere.’
‘Yes, it is, Posy, but at least Amy and your grandchildren are safe.’
‘I’d also like them to be happy. Will you come, Sebastian? Freddie will be there, and my son Nick and Tammy.’
‘It’s very kind of you, Posy, but do you think I could have some time before I answer?’
‘Of course. Now, let me tell you the poignant story of how I found myself with an extra grandchild . . .’
‘Alone at last!’ said Freddie as he hugged Posy to him on his doorstep. ‘Come in, come in. I feel as though I haven’t had you to myself for weeks,’ he said as he let her go and led her into the sitting room, where a tray containing a bottle of champagne and two glasses was sitting on the coffee table.
‘Goodness, what’s that in aid of?’
‘Absolutely nothing, other than it’s almost Christmas, and more importantly, our two hearts are still beating in our chests. One shouldn’t need an excuse to drink champagne when one is our age, Posy.’
‘I had champagne yesterday too.’
‘Did you indeed? And where was that?’ Freddie said as he popped the cork, poured some champagne into the glasses and handed her one.
‘At Fortnum’s. I had tea with Sebastian.’
‘Well now! Do I have a rival for your affections?’
‘If I were thirty years younger, then yes,’ Posy smiled. ‘Cheers.’
‘Cheers,’ Freddie toasted back. ‘How is he?’
‘He’s well, Freddie, and he sent his regards to you. I hear he took the role of listening ear in our melodrama.’
‘He did indeed, yes, and I’m grateful to him for his good advice. But more importantly, what were you doing meeting him at Fortnum’s?’
‘I asked him to find my father’s grave for me, and I went to visit it yesterday.’
‘I see. Where was it?’
‘Pentonville Prison. And before you say anything else, yes, it could not have been more grim. But it served its purpose, and now I really feel I can move on.’
‘Then I’m happy for you, Posy, though if you’d have asked me, I’d have gladly accompanied you.’
‘It was something I needed to do by myself, Freddie. I hope you can understand that.’
‘Yes, I can.’
‘Actually, I’ve invited him for Christmas.’
‘Have you? Well then, I look forward to seeing him. We’re rather short of men in your family these days.’
‘He and Amy were having an affair when Seba
stian was living with me at Admiral House.’
‘Really? And you knew about it?’
‘I certainly suspected as much, yes. And both of them have freely admitted it to me. He’s such a lovely man, Freddie. Just what Amy needs.’
‘Quite the little matchmaker, aren’t you?’
‘After what has happened in the past few weeks, I think we can both agree that life is just too damned short. We missed out on a lifetime of happiness together, and I don’t want that to be the case for Amy and Sebastian.’
‘Well, well,’ Freddie smiled at her, ‘it’s a very generous gesture, considering Sam.’
‘Well, given Sam called me from the clinic a couple of days ago and said he’d met a woman to whom he’d become close, I doubt he’ll be alone for long. She’s called Heather, and she’s in there for alcohol addiction. She knows all about his anger and alcohol issues apparently, and she’s been helping him with them. Considering the circumstances, he sounded very upbeat. And of course, sober.’
‘Well, that’s good news.’
‘It is, yes, and as far as Amy and Sebastian go, I’ve only issued an invitation. It’s up to them to take it from here.’
‘Quite. Now, are you ready for something to eat? I’m afraid it’s my hotpot again.’
Freddie had lit the candles on the table in the kitchen and Posy sat down as he dished out the food.
‘Posy my dear, I do have something to confess.’
‘Oh goodness, Freddie.’ Posy’s heart began to pound. ‘I’m not sure I can take any more bad news. What on earth is it?’
‘Well now, it’s about Sam’s arrest. A while ago, I had a conversation with Sebastian. I was concerned about this Ken Noakes and asked Sebastian if he had any contacts from his days as a newshound that could help us check out his background. And indeed he did. The fraud squad then contacted Sebastian to discover Mr Noakes’ whereabouts. Subsequently he was arrested, along with your son.’
‘I see. Well . . .’ she replied after a pause. ‘At least it’s not as bad as I expected. In fact, I should say thank you.’
‘Really?’ Freddie studied her expression warily.
‘Absolutely. Heaven knows what would have happened if you and Sebastian hadn’t stepped in. Sam was on a slippery slope to oblivion and at least now he’s getting the help he needs. And the thought of that ghastly man getting his hands on Admiral House . . . what you both did brought everything to a head. Painful, but necessary.’
The Butterfly Room Page 48