I flinched at my husband’s language and hearing him call me a whore. We’d had fights before, as all married couples do, but he’d never used language like that with me before. “James is the only one.”
“Then what more could you possibly have to say?” He looked at me and my heart broke when I saw suspicion change to enlightenment, followed by a pain so deep that I didn’t know if my husband would ever recover from it. “You said you told him to leave because you had to tell me about the affair? It wasn’t a guilty conscience that prompted this, was it? Why did you have to tell me about this now?”
“I’m pregnant.” My voice came out in a strained whisper as a tear fell from my eye and rolled down my cheek.
“Jesus Marie. Jesus.” Bill turned away from me, poured two fingers of whiskey in the glass and tossed it back. “Did you have good laugh with him when you told him to leave? Did you laugh with him about my inability to give you a baby?”
“No. I would never laugh at you, Bill and I certainly wouldn’t do it about that.” What more could I say to him, what more could I do to assure him that he hadn’t failed me as a husband, that I’d failed him as a wife. “I’m so sorry. If I could go back and undo it, I would. But I can’t.”
“I’m surprised you didn’t leave with him, since I fucked you for seven years and could never give you a baby. All he had to do was fuck you once.”
I didn’t know where my husband had gotten the mistaken belief that I’d only slept with James once, but I was torn between telling him that it had been more than once. I couldn’t let him beat himself up for something that he had no control over. “It was more than once. He didn’t sleep with me one time and miraculously give me a baby.”
He turned to me, and his lip curled as he looked at me. “How long was this going on?”
“It started the first day he moved in.” I didn’t think it was possible for me to shock Bill any more than I already had, but revealing to him that things between James and I had started from the moment he’d moved in did that.
“What did you do with him? Tell me everything you did with him while I was blind to what was going on.”
I couldn’t tell him all of it, it would only hurt him. “No. You don’t need to know what happened between us. I’ve hurt you enough without you having to know every detail.”
My husband grabbed the whiskey bottle and hurled it against the wall. It shattered, and the pungent smell of whiskey filled the kitchen. I let out a startled noise as Bill walked over to me, grabbed my by the arms and spoke to me through gritted teeth. “You will tell me everything you did with that bastard from the second he walked into this house and you’ll tell me now.”
I didn’t know why it was so important for him to know, but for the first time in our married life I was afraid of what he would do if I didn’t do what he wanted. In a slow halting voice I told my husband everything, from the moment that I’d given James my underwear to the moment I’d asked him to leave, the only thing I left out was the part where I told James that Bill couldn’t have children. Bill let go of me and took a step away from me.
“I have to get out of here.”
“Bill, where are you going? Please, don’t leave.”
“If I stay I won’t be responsible for what I’ll do to you. I haven’t raised a hand to you the entire time we’ve been married, and now would be a pretty bad time to start. I’m going out before I do something that I’m going to regret.” He walked to the kitchen door, and pulled his coat off the hook by the door.
“When will you be home?”
Bill didn’t answer me, he simply opened the kitchen door and slammed it behind him. After a few moments I heard our car start and it roared out of our driveway. I buried my face in my hands and wept for the pain that I’d caused my husband. I didn’t deserve to have him as my husband, that was very clear now. Any other man would have knocked my teeth in and shoved me out the door to raise my bastard child by myself. I knew that Bill left because it was what he needed to do to keep from doing those things.
I took a deep breath, wiped my eyes with the palms of my hand and got to work cleaning up the shattered glass and whiskey on the floor. Once that was done, I went to the living room to lay down while I waited for him to come home. I didn’t have any doubt that he would come home, but whether or not it would still be my home as well was something I didn’t know. I wouldn’t blame him if he couldn’t live with me any more. A marriage required trust and there was no way that Bill would ever trust me again.
It was several hours later when the telephone rang. The worry inside me for Bill was so great that I ran to answer it, hoping that it wasn’t a call to tell me that my husband had been killed in an accident. After a hesitant hello, relief went through me when I heard Bill’s voice on the other end of the line.
“I wanted to let you know that I’m fine, but I’m going to stay away for a few days. I need to sort things out in my head before I can decide what we’re going to do.”
“I’m so sorry Bill. Please know that I love you, and that no matter what has happened, that’s something that hasn’t changed.”
I didn’t know if what I said made any impression on Bill, because he didn’t answer me and the line disconnected when he hung up.
My husband was gone for two days, and when I finally heard the car in the driveway relief and dread mingled inside me in equal measure. I had no idea what to expect from him when he walked in the door, and I didn’t know if I had the right to ask where he’d been any longer. He’d maintained silence after the phone call he’d made to assure me that he was okay. Had he been with someone else? Had he spent the past two days in the arms of another woman, to get a bit of revenge on me for what I’d done to him. I felt like such a hypocrite as jealousy lanced through me at the image of Bill having sex with another woman. I could only imagine how Bill felt, knowing that my having an affair wasn’t a figment of his imagination.
I was standing in the kitchen waiting for him, with my hands clenched in front of me. He walked in the door, and seemed surprised to see me standing there. Did he think I would have walked out while he was gone? Was that was what had been expected of me and I was just too stupid to know it?
“You’re still here.” Bill’s voice was quiet and subdued, and he looked so tired. He hadn’t shaved and he was still wearing the clothes he’d left in, which now looked rumpled. He hadn’t bothered to do his shirt up all the way and I had no idea where his tie was. I looked at him, searching his face, looking for what I was supposed to say to him. The answer didn’t come to me, so I asked what I’d been thinking since he’d walked in the door.
“Was I supposed to leave while you were gone?” I held my breath, hoping that his answer wouldn’t be yes. If the end of our marriage was what he wanted, I wouldn’t fight it but I still wanted my husband. I knew that I didn’t deserve a second chance, that what’d I’d done had hurt my husband more than if I’d driven a knife into his heart.
“No. I was hoping you’d still be here when I got home. Despite everything, I can’t kick you out and let you fend for yourself, especially not with…a baby on the way.” That last part was said with a tightening of his jaw, and I could see that my husband considered my pregnancy the worst part of this whole thing. Another man had given something that he had tried and failed to do.
“What can I do Bill? How can I make this up to you? I’m sorry, but saying sorry is just words. What can I do to prove to you that I love you and that I never stopped? That this whole thing was a mistake, one that I will never make again?”
“I’m going to take a shower and shave. Go into the bedroom and wait for me there. We are going to start by driving the images of what he’s done with you from my head, and there is one in particular that I find sticks in my craw more than any others, so we’ll make a start by replacing that one.”
He walked by me, being careful to keep his distance from me and avoid touching me. I didn’t know what my husband had in mind for me in our bedroom, but I
followed him up the stairs and walked into our bedroom while he went into the bathroom.
I sat on the edge of the bed, with my hands in a nervous knot in my lap. What could Bill possibly want to do to erase from his mind what I’d done with another man? I would have thought that there was nothing that I could do that would make him forget how deeply I betrayed him. Whatever it was that he wanted to do, I would participate willingly if it meant that I would have a chance to save my marriage.
If nothing else, the whole sordid affair with James had shown me just how much my husband meant to me. Why couldn’t I have seen it before I’d fucked someone else? Why had I taken Bill so for granted that after seven years together it had only taken another man a few moments to turn my head, and less than a day to get me to obey his sexual whims?
The shower shut off, and I waited for the five minutes it would take for my husband to shave. The time passed slowly until I heard the bathroom door open and my husband’s footsteps down the hall. He walked into our bedroom, bringing with him the familiar scent of his soap and aftershave. A towel was wrapped around his lean waist and I looked at my husband, really looked at him. It was like blinders had been ripped away from my eyes and I was seeing the man I’d married as he was now, without the lens of familiarity preventing me from seeing him. He didn’t have the blocky boxer’s frame that James had, but my husband did keep himself in better shape than most man his age. He still had the leanness of his youth, and his shoulders were still as wide as they’d been when I married him, his chest still as strong. He hadn’t gotten that middle aged paunch that most men his age did, and I could still see the outline of the muscles in his stomach.
The sight and smell of my husband wearing only a towel, with his face freshly shaven and his hair slicked back, sent a thrum of desire through me. Whatever he had planned for me, I knew I was going to enjoy it.
He moved to the bedside table with the easy grace that was all Bill and that I’d never seen in any other man. He set something on top, and when I looked at it, I knew exactly what moment with James had bothered my husband so much that he needed to blot it from his mind by reenacting it. When he demanded that I tell him everything, I hadn’t spared him the details and I’d told him about the one and only time that James and I had fucked in this bed.
“You know what I want, don’t you?” He looked down at me and his hand was surprisingly gentle when he brushed back the lock of hair that had fallen across my cheek. I didn’t deserve his gentleness after what I’d done, but I was glad of it. What he was going to do to me would be painful if he didn’t take the necessary care.
“I do.”
“Then get undressed and lay on the bed, on your back. I’m going to do everything he did to you that day, and before I’m done you’ll be begging for my cock in your ass. And after today, the only cock you’ll beg for, the only cock you will take in your body will be mine. Are we clear Marie? You get one chance. If you do this to me again, you will be out of my house and out of my life faster than you can blink.”
There was still some anger in there, despite his gentle touch and it was an anger I deserved. I would take all of that anger from him if it meant that he was giving me another chance.
“I promise, that I’ll never do it again. The only man I’ll ever be with again is you.” I stood up and undid the buttons down the front of my dress. When I let it go it slid down my body and pooled on the floor at my feet. My brassiere and underwear soon followed, and I got on the bed and scooted over to the center.
I didn’t quite know how to arrange myself, and a strange feeling came over me, one I remembered from my wedding night with the man who was now taking the towel from his waist and dropping it to the floor. I was nervous as I looked at my husband’s straining erection. It was like this was the first time for us, and in a way it was. It would be the first time we would have sex now that there were absolutely no secrets between us.
Bill came down in the bed with me and leisurely ran his wide palm over my skin, as if he had all the time in the world. He leaned forward and kissed me. I put my arms around his neck as his lips moved tentatively on mine. It was like we were discovering each other for the first time and didn’t quite know how to proceed. His lips grew firm, and I eagerly opened my mouth when his tongue sought entrance.
I used my tongue to duel with his as he turned me so that we lay on our sides with our bodies pressed tight against each other. We held each other, kissing deeply for a long time before Bill pulled away and pushed my onto my back. I reached up and caressed the side of his face as he looked down at me. The love I had for him, which hadn’t dissipated at all, felt stronger inside me as he brought his mouth down onto the skin of my throat. A shiver chased down my body, my nipples tightened and a sigh escaped me.
Bill moved his mouth down my body, and he used everything he’d learned about how to please me in the seven years we’d been married as his explored every inch of my body with his mouth and his tongue. He knew what would make me shiver, what made me moan and what made me beg him to take him. He’d driven me to the point of begging much faster than James had, and I was mindless with need for him when the time came for me to beg him for what he’d never done to me before.
“I need you to fuck me in the ass, Bill. I need your cock inside me.”
I raised my head to look at him, and he lifted his head from in between my legs. There was a snarl on his face that was almost savage, and I aroused me further. My husband was just as turned on by the notion of fucking me in the ass as I was.
He straightened, rolled me onto my stomach and pulled my hips up so that my ass was facing him. I reached for the Vaseline on the bedside table and handed it to him as I looked back at him. I watched as my husband lubricated his cock. He dipped his thumb in the jar again, and I reached back to spread my ass cheeks for him. He spread the petroleum jelly on my asshole and slipped his thumb inside me.
“God, that feels good but I need it to be your cock.”
Bill didn’t need any further prompting, and I felt the head of his cock probing the entrance of my ass. Despite doing this before, my ass felt tight and I had the same burning pain as he slip his cock about an inch inside me. I blew out a slow breath to relax myself, and once I did that my body accepted all of him and I closed my eyes. My husband’s cock was inside me, filling me and it felt so good that I was sobbing with my pleasure. He thrust slowly in and out of my ass, his movements tentative at first but after several moments he gained strength.
“Whose cock is in your ass?” My husband’s voice growled behind me, and I turned my head to look at him. He looked so strong and proud as he plowed his cock in and out of my ass. It was the most arousing sight I’d ever seen.
“Oh God, it’s your cock Bill. Fuck me with that cock.” My husband was driving both of us wild, and the room was filled with the sounds of our fucking. The heaviness of our breathing, the guttural moans and the slapping of flesh against flesh was the music we danced to. Bill hand snaked around to cup my pussy and he used his fingers to rub my clit. It was what I needed to send me over the edge and my moans got higher and higher in pitch as I climbed faster and faster to the peak of my orgasm. When I came, my asshole clenched around my husband’s cock, milking him as I heard his long drawn out moan that told me he was cumming too. My body shudder and the orgasm pulsing through me was more intense than any other orgasm I’d had in my entire life.
I let out a moan as Bill pulled his cock out of my ass and my body collapsed onto the bed. I couldn’t move, couldn’t do anything but lay on the bed with every muscle relaxed. My body felt like it had no bones, and awareness was slow to return. Once it did, I realized my husband lay behind me, his arms around me as he cuddled my body close to his.
12
“Where do we go from here?” I didn’t want to break the peaceful spell that was cast over us, but I needed to know what my husband was thinking. The sex was still good between us, but I hadn’t slept with James because I didn’t enjoy myself in my husb
and’s bed.
“It’s going to take some time, Marie. I can’t just bounce back from something like this over night. All I can promise is that our marriage isn’t over.”
I was relieved to hear that my marriage wasn’t over, but I was saddened by just how much I’d hurt my husband. He still desired me sexually and that was enough for now. It would give us something to build on while I slowly worked on regaining his trust.
“I’m going to take a bath.” I moved away from him, my body sore from my husband’s pounding attentions. I scooted off the bed, and he grasped me by the wrist and I looked down at him.
“Do you want some company?” He gave me a tentative smile, and I smiled back at him as I nodded. It would take time and work, but I knew now that there was hope for my husband and me. I walked to the bathroom with Bill walking behind me and holding my hand.
When we got the bathroom, I filled the tub and Bill pulled me back against him while we waited. It felt so good to be in my husband’s arms, and I knew that I didn’t deserve a man like him. Any other man wouldn’t even try to forgive me and I would have found myself on the street.
Once the tub was full Bill and I got in and I settled back against him. His arms were around me, just under my breasts and I took one of his hand, sliding it down until it lay on top of my stomach where the baby inside me would soon make its presence known. Bill jerked his hand away and put it back with the other one.
“I’m not ready for that. I realize that staying married to you means raising another man’s baby, but I can’t be happy about it. At least not right now.”
I swallowed hard, past the lump in my throat. This baby was the sticking point for my husband, what would be the most difficult for him to reconcile. This baby would be a reminder for him of what he saw as his failure as a man, and a reminder of how I’d betrayed him. Would my husband see that betrayal every time he looked at the child that would grow up in his house for the next eighteen years?
The Seduction of Mrs. Valentine: Complete Series Page 9