It had healed completely. Not one sign remained. All she had left to remember that one night were her memories…and a busted window she still hadn’t replaced. Boards had been nailed over it, but she just didn’t care enough to worry about messing with having somebody repair it.
But when Nessa touched her neck, it burned. Throbbed. Almost like it had that night.
“People do change, girl. Some of us more than others. Some of us change in ways we don’t even realize.”
Angel batted the girl’s hand away. “Oh, believe me. I get the fact that he’s changed. I get the fact that I’ve changed.”
Nessa smirked. “Child, you haven’t got any idea on just how much you’ve changed—and how very little you haven’t.”
“Tell me something, does Kel know anybody that doesn’t speak in cryptic riddles?”
The smirk on Nessa’s face bloomed into an all-out grin. “Well, short, bossy, blonde brats need to have their fun somehow.”
Angel cocked a brow. “Nice to know you can recognize your faults.”
“Hmmm. Well, I’ve had a lot of years to learn that skill.”
Angel frowned. “You don’t look old enough to drink.”
The other woman chuckled and shook her head. “And still you can’t see it…things are too often more than they appear, Angel. Including me.” She sighed and slid Angel a sad smile. “I look like a juvenile delinquent. But that doesn’t even touch what I am.”
Curiosity got the best of her. “Exactly what are you? Toronto said you were a friend.” Angel touched her throat, remembered how just one touch from this girl had taken away her physical pain. Remembered how Nessa had touched Toronto and Kel and the men’s injuries had faded away like fog under the sun. “Some kind of… I dunno, witch or something?”
“Witch.” Nessa’s eyes closed and she smiled. “Aye. Or something? Aye, that, too.” She shoved to her feet then and jammed her hands deep into the baggy pockets of her jeans. “Everybody makes choices, Angel. Some aren’t the wisest. Some aren’t the right ones. But usually, if you act on what is in the heart, you’ll come out okay.” She gave Angel an enigmatic smile and then murmured, “Tell me…what is in your heart?”
Then, as Angel sat there trying to find an answer, the girl disappeared.
Into thin air.
What is in your heart?
It wasn’t a simple question, and Angel discovered through the rest of the night, it didn’t even have just one answer.
She had love in her heart.
She had anger.
She had misery.
She had confusion.
She had doubt.
She had questions.
But above all else, there was love. No matter what Kel said, she did love him. And she didn’t love some imaginary man or a boy who had long since grown up. She loved Kel. Twelve years apart, but too much of her had recognized him. So many dreams about him that weren’t really dreams, but subconscious echoes of the life he lived. Echoes that showed just how much he hadn’t changed.
In the end, the love won out. But the anger was a close second.
Decision made, she lay down on the couch and grabbed an hour-long nap. She hadn’t been able to sleep in her bed since the night Kel had left and she wouldn’t be surprised if she never slept in it again. It seemed like his scent surrounded her and laying down on the bed seemed to make phantom hands course over her flesh.
Washing the sheets didn’t help.
Burning the damn mattress probably wouldn’t help either.
She had one chance to exorcize her ghosts. One chance. And it wasn’t a good chance, either.
But Angel wasn’t too concerned with odds. If she didn’t at least make the attempt, she’d have the rest of her life to regret it. She’d make the attempt. And if she failed, then she failed and she would find a way to get on with her life.
Despite what that seriously strange guy, Toronto, had told Kel, Angel wasn’t going to let this end her life. If Kel didn’t want her, fine. One thing he’d been right about was that she’d never let herself get over him. Somewhere deep inside, maybe part of her had known he was still alive, and she’d just been waiting.
She wasn’t going to wait any more.
If he turned her away, that was it. She may never be able to keep from loving him, but she’d sure as hell stop sighing and crying over a man she wouldn’t ever have.
Angel would find a way to get on with her life and it wouldn’t be an empty one.
She loved Kel. But she had her pride and she had a heart full of anger—and one question to ask.
She didn’t bother to take anything more than a change of clothes and some toiletries thrown into a duffle bag. She wasn’t exactly sure where she was going but if by some slim chance fate cut her a break, maybe it would be a while before she came back. Of course, there was a better chance she’d be heading back here within a day or so.
Once she did, she’d get the window fixed, hire a few guys to do the repairs on the house and sell the damn thing. Only one person had kept her in Greenburg all these years, only one thing. Caring for Kel’s dad. But Jake was dead now…and when he died, he’d made her his sole beneficiary. A certain percentage of his estate went to the church, but the rest was hers and she was going to use it. For…something. To help her find some sort of life without Kel.
But first, she was going to get an answer to her question.
Kel lay on his narrow bed, staring up at the ugly gray ceiling overhead. One hand pillowed his head, the other was closed around the ring at his neck.
He couldn’t feel Angel.
After twelve years, it was an abrupt, almost brutal absence, one he missed more than he could have expected. He was alone inside his head, more alone than he’d been in a long time. He hated it.
He’d been back in the enclave for a week now and he hadn’t left his room once except to feed a few days ago. Even that had been hell—he couldn’t touch a woman. No way. He’d sought out one of the werewolves who lived in the enclave—not Toronto. He couldn’t look at Toronto because the shifter kept giving him censoring looks and making Kel doubt the choice he’d made.
Feeding from a male never sat well with him and he spent half that night feeling like he’d eaten bad meat or something.
His body had recovered from the injuries sustained during the fight, but his resources were drained. That quick feed a few days ago wasn’t going to do the trick and he knew he needed a serious, real feed but he couldn’t find the energy or the interest.
Likewise for Hunting.
Anything.
A motor sounded from outside, loud and out-of-place, but he tuned it out, just as he had tuned out anything and everything else.
Nothing really seemed real anymore so it was easy to ignore it all. Like turning down the volume on a radio.
So it was a little bit of a surprise when his ears picked up the sound of a fist pounding on the door of the manor. Even more surprising when he heard a voice. Easily picked it out from the others.
Angry. Demanding.
“Don’t hand me that bullshit that you don’t know who I’m talking about,” the feminine voice snarled.
Another voice—and Kel felt the push of vamp compulsion. He recognized it, filed it away, because in a little bit, he was going to knock Josiah into the next millennium for trying to pull that mojo on Angel.
Rolling off the bed, he left his room and took off running up the steps. A woman with altered blood coming into a house full of vamps, even if they were on the side of the angels, was a bad, bad mistake.
Josiah was blocking the door but Kel could scent her—he had no doubt it was Angel.
“Leave her alone, Josiah,” he said, his voice hard.
Josiah turned around and met Kel’s flat stare. His eyes narrowed in understanding and he swore. “Shit. Kel, go downstairs.”
Kel snarled. Striding across the room, he got in Josiah’s face and dared him. “Why don’t you try and make me?”
They were
collecting an audience.
Toronto separated himself from the crowd, moving to stand at Josiah’s side. His voice was pitched low, but the words were heard by all. “This doesn’t concern you, Josiah. Just leave it.”
The vamp whirled on Toronto, jerking a thumb in Kel’s direction. “The last thing he needs now is to be around that girl.”
“You know, that girl can speak for herself,” Angel snapped from the doorway. Stubbornly, she crossed her arms over her chest and glared at Kel. “I’m not leaving until I’ve talked to you.”
Then she sent a withering look at Josiah and added, “And whatever in the hell you were trying to pull? It won’t work.” Her eyes narrowed and she focused.
Every last one of them felt the force of her psychic punch as she struck out at Josiah. His face tightened but he showed no other reaction. His lip curling in a disgusted sneer, Josiah turned on his heel and stomped out. “Stubborn as he is. They were made for each other.”
Rafe finally made an appearance and all the Hunters fell back to let him through. Barefoot, wearing black jeans and a plain black T-shirt, Rafe studied Angel for a minute and then he looked at Kel. Although he didn’t say anything, there was a look in the Master’s eyes that said, This ain’t gonna end well.
“It seems Kel’s got a guest, folks. Doesn’t concern any of us.” He nodded his head at Angel and then turned, left in silence.
The rest of them trickled out until Kel was left alone in the foyer, staring at Angel. She still stood on the porch, giving him an insolent glare. When their gazes locked, she angled her chin up. “What, aren’t you going to try that same lame-ass mind thing?”
Kel shook his head. He reached up and scratched his chest, absently realized he hadn’t put a shirt on when he had awoken earlier. Angel’s eyes slid down, rested on the chain around his neck. Instinctively, he wrapped his hand around the ring, shielding it.
“I know better. If there’s a vamp with the juice to force you out on mental power alone, I don’t know him.” He blew out a harsh sigh and murmured, “Angel, what are you doing here?”
“I had a question I wanted to ask you. That question, you answer honestly, and I’ll go.”
Kel shoved a hand through his hair. One question. He could handle that, right?
“You going to stand on the porch all damn night?” he asked caustically.
She frowned, glanced down at the ground. Her body shifted like she was going to move, but she didn’t. She shrugged and then shook her head. “Don’t worry. It won’t take more than a minute.”
Kel glared at her. “Get your ass in here if you want to ask me something. I don’t care if it just takes two seconds.”
She snorted. “So is two seconds my time limit?” she asked as she crossed the threshold and closed the door behind her.
Folding his arms over his chest, he just stared at her.
“That was a neat trick, that deal you did forcing those memories in my head. But something about them felt off.” She gave him a mean little smile. “Not that I don’t believe you about the woman in the memories, but something about it was a lie. I’m thinking the timing…”
Vampires didn’t blush. But they sure as hell could feel embarrassed and being caught in a lie would do it. He didn’t bat a lash, though, as he lied through his teeth. “Got no idea what you’re talking about, sugar. Is that your question?”
“No.” She sauntered over to him.
As she drew close, Kel stiffened but he didn’t pull away. She reached out and hooked a finger under the chain around his neck and tugged on the chain until he let go. Flashing him that insolent smile, she lowered her gaze and studied the ring. “Here’s my question, sugar. Why are you wearing a woman’s engagement ring around your neck?”
He jerked away, crossed the foyer. When he had a good ten feet between them, he turned back to meet her gaze but for the life of him, he didn’t know what to say.
He’d bought it for her before his life went straight to hell. He hadn’t found the right time to ask her. He’d been working on something romantic, including candlelight and roses. And although he’d told himself to get rid of it a hundred times, a thousand, he couldn’t do it.
And he also couldn’t lie about it, he realized as he met her blue eyes.
“You need to leave, Angel.”
Her chin angled up another notch. “Sure. When you give me that answer.”
He swore and turned away. He heard her footsteps, all but soundless on the gleaming wood floors, felt the warmth of her breath caress over his back as she stood less than a foot away. “You going to take off running again, Kel? That’s fine. Go ahead. And I won’t come looking for you again, although it doesn’t matter where you go—now that I know you’re alive, I could find you in my sleep.”
Her hand caressed the skin of his back, leaving a fiery trail of sensation. “I won’t come looking for you. If you won’t give me that answer, that’s fine. Once I walk out of here, I’m done.”
Woodenly, he turned to face her. The words were in his throat. He wanted to tell her. Wanted to give her that answer…and more. But he couldn’t.
She smoothed a hand up his chest, toyed with the ring. “And I won’t be spending the rest of my life mourning you. You were right about that—I never let myself get over you. But that’s done. If I leave here alone, if you let me walk out that door, I’ll get over you no matter what it takes, no matter how long.”
“Angel…” His voice trailed off. He didn’t know what to say, other than the plain, ugly truth. “You can’t be with me. I can’t be trusted around you.” He sighed and reached up, trailed his fingers down her neck. “Something weird happened to you that night. Not just me. He… That vamp, we call them feral, he must have wanted to Change you, make you a vamp. He fed you. It wasn’t…it wasn’t enough to do it, but it changed something inside you and whatever it is, it’s like a drug to vampires. I’m not strong enough to resist it.”
Her head cocked. “No? Doesn’t seem to me like you had any trouble stopping last week. Or walking away.” A conniving smile appeared on her face and she brushed her hair back, baring her neck. “And I don’t see you falling on me like a raving lunatic. Neither did your oh-so-charming friend. Or any of the others…you’re not the only one like you here, right? But nobody seemed all that fixated on me.”
“They wouldn’t dare,” he growled.
Angel just lifted a brow. “If I’m some sort of drug, nobody here seems too affected, Kel.”
Affected? Hell. He damn well was affected. Wanted to fall on her, exactly like a raving lunatic. He wanted to—he itched to do it. But even as that thought circled through his head, he realized that what he wanted from her wasn’t blood. Or rather, he wanted the blood, he didn’t need that.
He needed her.
A sad smile curled her lips and he knew without a doubt, she knew just what he was thinking.
“You’re stronger than you think, Kel. I don’t know what in the hell it is you’re trying to tell me, but I do know that it doesn’t matter. Nothing could compel you to hurt me—except your own blindness. Like pushing me away because you think you’re a physical danger to me.”
She shook her head. “You’re wrong. And I know it even if you don’t.” Her hand came up and she cupped his cheek. “Goodbye, Kel. And don’t worry. I’ll get okay with this somehow. I’ll be fine without you in my life. I won’t need you to be happy.”
She pushed up on her toes and kissed him. Then she turned around and walked away.
The door closed behind her and not even a heartbeat later, Toronto appeared. “Are you really that stupid, Kel?” The shifter didn’t look at him, just stared at the door.
Exactly as Kel was doing.
“I’m doing what I have to. Hell, even if I could control myself, who’s to say other vamps can?”
Toronto shrugged. “Nobody. But then again…when she showed up, I didn’t see every vamp in the enclave staring at her the same way I look at a hot fudge sundae.” Then he grinn
ed. “And she smells different than she used to.”
“Different?” Kel asked.
There was no sound, but they both turned their heads to watch as Rafe came into the foyer, his brown eyes unreadable. “Yeah. Different.”
“Different how?” Kel demanded.
Rafe shrugged. “Can’t really explain it. I haven’t seen her in years, Kel. I stayed away because of what I figured out that night. She’s always had a witch or a shifter checking in on her. Smart vamps don’t hang around vampire bait, but I can’t say that’s what she is exactly.”
Then he closed his eyes and swore, mumbled under his breath. “Sheila’s never going to let me live this down…” He opened his eyes, focused on Kel’s face and said, “I didn’t give you much credit, Kel. I don’t know if anything I said is playing into this massive act of stupidity, but regardless…I was wrong. You wouldn’t hurt her. You can’t. And you just showed that by letting the one woman you loved walk out the door after merrily telling you she’d forget your ass and find somebody else to make her happy.”
Rafe left. Toronto left.
Kel stood there alone.
Alone. In the span of heartbeats, he saw his entire damned life spread out before him. Nothing but cold days sleeping alone, and endless nights spent alone.
You wouldn’t hurt her. You can’t.
You’re stronger than you think, Kel.
Nothing could compel you to hurt me—except your own blindness.
Outside the house, a truck engine roared to life.
Abruptly he took off running. He tore the door open and darted across the carefully manicured lawn, through Sheila’s flowerbeds without a thought that the woman would kick his ass over it, down the drive as the truck drove away.
He put on another burst of speed and jumped. Angel’s startled shriek didn’t faze him a bit as he walked up the truck bed, climbed out and stood on the rusted out running board as he jerked open the passenger door and climbed in.
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