That big-ass dog had been lying on the bench seat next to Angel but as Kel climbed in, the dog sat up and studied him with a quizzical stare.
She slammed on the brakes and he smacked a hand against the dash to keep from crashing into it, automatically grabbing the dog’s collar to keep him from tumbling off the seat. The truck skidded to a halt and then he reached over, shoved it into park.
Then he settled back on the seat, reached up behind his neck and took off the chain he’d worn for the past twelve years. The dog whined, sniffed at Kel and then climbed over him, one big paw coming very, very close to a sensitive portion of his anatomy. Kel grunted as the dog poked his head outside, his massive body draped over Kel’s lap. The dog sniffed, then his muscles bunched and he jumped out through the open window.
In a casual voice, Kel said, “I was working all that overtime to help pay off this ring. Talked to a few girls at school, tried to set up the perfect romantic time to propose.” A smile came and went, fleeting. “Had it planned for a couple weeks after…after that night.” He curled his hand around the ring and then rested his arm on the door, staring out in the dark, quiet night. The sun had just barely set and off to the west, he could see the faint pale orange glow cast by the sun. Nodding his head towards it, he murmured, “This is the closest I can get to sunlight for a long time. If ever. I may never be able to take the sun’s rays.”
Finally, he slanted her a look but she wasn’t looking at him. She was staring off out the driver’s window and had her arms crossed over her chest. Her heart was racing, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t pick up anything from her. “I’ve been a mess the past twelve years, Angel. I fly off the handle, I don’t feed enough and when I finally do give in, it’s because my body won’t let me deny it.”
Speaking of body… He closed his eyes. Rubbing a hand across his naked chest, he thought about what he’d done to Angel when he forced the memories of Phoebe into her head. If Angel had done that to him, he would have gone stark raving mad. Probably already had.
“The night you were up planning Dad’s funeral, I wasn’t with that woman. I was at home, alone. Brooding. I’d been with her the night before but when you got the phone call, I knew. I felt it and I left, went back home and wished like hell I could be there with you.” He licked his lips. “I can’t thank you for the way you stayed with him, helped him the past twelve years. You won’t ever know how much that means to me.”
Her voice was flat as she asked, “Why the hell are you telling me this? And you’re sitting awful damn close, Dracula. Aren’t you afraid you’ll snap and attack me?”
Kel rubbed the back of his hand over his mouth. “I’m terrified I might do just that. But you keep telling me it won’t happen. And others.”
She snorted. “So you’ll listen to others. Maybe me. What about yourself? Why don’t you listen to yourself first for once, Kel? What do you think—would you attack me, hurt me? Do any damn thing to me that I didn’t ask for?”
His voice was ragged and harsh as he answered, “Not on my life.”
He closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the headrest. “I’m a mess, Angel, and I have been ever since this happened. I can’t undo what I am, and I can’t change what I have to do just to live.”
Finally, she looked at him. “Do you think I wouldn’t get that? Hell, you won’t even tell me just what you are. There’s more to it than a pretty pair of fangs and the ability to live through an injury that would kill anybody. A bit more to it than sex and the way it felt when you bit me. But you walked away without bothering to explain anything. Without telling me anything other than, I’m sorry. I can’t do this.”
Abruptly, she grabbed the handle of the door and jerked, sliding out of the truck. Kel waited a minute and then followed, watched as she started to pace. It was growing darker by the minute and although it didn’t affect him, the rocky, unfamiliar ground probably wasn’t ideal pacing territory.
But her footsteps were as sure and as certain as his own, even when she paced out of the moon’s rays under the canopy of leaves. Sticking to the tree line alongside the drive, she walked ten feet, turned and came back. Turned again. Ten feet, then back.
“You don’t even know the meaning of messed up, Kel. I pretty much lost it. I was hallucinating, seeing things that weren’t real…” She shot him a look over her shoulder and added, “Or so I thought. Now I don’t even know if real exists. But I spent a month in a mental hospital after that night—I have a close, personal acquaintance with messed up.”
“I know.”
She stopped in her tracks, turned to face him.
Kel clenched his hand around the ring and had to force himself to meet her gaze. “I’m the reason. The first few months after it happens are rough. Control is non-existent. You’re always hungry. You picked up what I was going through and it’s stuff that a human wouldn’t understand.”
He gave her a thin-lipped smile. “So I’m the reason behind your personal acquaintance with messed up. Once I figured out what I was doing, once some people helped me out, I got it under control…but I couldn’t ever cut you off completely. I always felt you. When you cried, I felt every last tear. When you lay awake at night hurting, I hurt with you.”
He blew out a breath and lifted his hand, staring at the golden ring and the gleaming diamond. “I’m a slow study, Angel. But I finally figured it out. You can get by without me, I don’t doubt that. You’ll live just fine and I imagine you’ll find a way to be happy.”
Without lifting his head, he stared at her from under the fringe of his lashes. “But I’m not going to be able to live without you. If you walk away, my world pretty much stops.”
He sighed, shoved a hand through his hair. Then, without quite realizing what he was doing, he went to her, reached out, took her hand. Tucking the ring and chain into her palm, he closed her fingers around it. “I’ve worn that every day, every night since the day I figured out that I’d lost you. That I’d never have you with me. But it isn’t mine. I bought it for you. It’s yours. Just the way I am. But I don’t have the right to ask you to stay.”
He cupped her face and forced her lowered chin upward until she met his gaze. “If you chose to stay with me, I’d do my damnedest to make it up to you. I’d do my damnedest to make you happy.” Stroking his thumb over her lip, he said hoarsely, “But if you don’t want that, I’d understand.”
He let go, stepped back. Shoving his hands in his pockets to keep from reaching for her, he said bitterly, “Hell, it would be easier for me to understand you walking away than choosing to stay.” The knot in his throat made swallowing sheer hell, but he had to because the words kept getting stuck inside him. “It’s your choice. But before you walk away, I wanted to tell you I’m sorry. That I love you. And I do want you with me.”
Then he turned and started the walk back up to the house.
His heart was pounding with an intensity that deafened him and his blood roared in his ears. The ache in his chest was huge—but he felt a little more at peace than he had in a long, long time.
At least he’d told her.
At least he’d tried to give the two of them—give himself a chance.
That had to count, right? He told himself that as he passed by her truck. The dog was laying by the rear tires, whining, but Kel just kept walking. Until she grabbed him.
Angel grabbed his arm and he turned, almost afraid, to face her. She jumped towards him. Thrown off balance, he caught her against him and stumbled against the truck. Her mouth was on his. Her tongue in his mouth. Her hands in his hair…and her voice whispering through his mind even though she couldn’t exactly speak out loud at the moment. You’re a jerk, Kel. A class-act jerk. You think I actually want to walk away from you?
He tore his mouth away from hers. He had to hear it. Had to. “You’ll stay? Here? With me?”
“Here. There. Who gives a damn, as long as you’re with me.”
The relief that hit him left him weak-kne
ed. He crushed her against him, buried his face in her neck and just breathed in the scent of her, listened to her heartbeat pounding against his own. He stumbled around the back of the truck and ended up sitting on the bed of the truck. The tailgate was missing and looked like it had been for a while—it was a good thing because otherwise Kel would have probably ended up dropping down to sit on the ground.
“I love you,” he muttered, blind to anything and everything but her.
She stroked a hand up over his bare shoulder, up his neck, and fisted it in his hair. Angel tugged gently and he lifted his head, met her gaze. She lifted her hand, let the chain dangle from her fist. The diamond ring swung back and forth between them as she asked, “Then maybe you could help me put this where it belongs.”
Slowly, he reached for the ring and took it from her. Sliding the chain away, he dropped it on the bed of truck next to him and then reached for her hand. Lowering his head, he kissed her ring finger. “I can get you a nicer one. A better one.” Moving his shoulders restlessly, he said, “I don’t exactly have a normal-type job but I do get paid and there’s not a lot I need to spend it on.”
Angel wiggled her finger demandingly. “I want the one you bought for me. And I want you to ask me the question that goes with the ring.”
He kissed her finger again. “Would you marry me, Angel? Save my life?”
She smiled as he slid the ring onto her finger and then she lowered her mouth to his and whispered against his lips. “We’ll save each other… How’s that?”
“Good. Real good.”
Her tongue rimmed his lips and he opened for her, sinking back onto the truck bed. She came with him and through the sweater she wore, he felt the soft, round weight of her breasts, felt the heat of her skin, and the rhythm of her heart. “I need you.”
She shimmied her legs up and straightened up. Grabbing the hem of her sweater, she dragged it off and tossed it aside. Her bra followed suit and then she reached for his hands, brought them to her breasts. “Then have me, Kel.”
Sweet and slow… That was what he wanted to give her.
But it wouldn’t happen tonight…or at least not now. He grabbed a fist full of her hair and jerked her back down to him and at the same time, he rolled, placing her body under his. The smile on her lips faded, replaced by a hungry moan as he kissed her.
The rest of their clothes, her jeans and his, the lacy scrap of her panties, went flying. “Later,” he rasped against her mouth. “Later we’ll take it slow. Promise.”
“Hmmm. Don’t talk.” She wrapped her legs around his waist and rubbed her sex against his cock. “Just make love to me.”
Without another word, without another touch, he entered her. She whimpered and wiggled under him, working to take him inside. Through their connection, he could feel the pain edging through her and he tried to slow down. She was damp and hungry, getting hungrier by the second, but she wasn’t ready for him.
Other than their one night last week, she hadn’t been with a man since he’d disappeared from her life and her sheath was so sweet, snug and tight—but while that felt like heaven to him, it wasn’t so good on her. He rasped, “I’m sorry,” against her lips and went to pull away. “Let me…”
“Don’t.” Her lids fluttered down and she slipped a hand down her torso, down her belly, slipped through the pale yellow curls between her thighs.
Kel swore and straightened, leaving her body supported by the truck while he braced his feet on the ground and stared down, watched as her slim fingers stroked her clit. Her pussy convulsed around his cock and her hips undulated against his. Soft…sweet…and wet, rippling around his rigid shaft in a silken caress. “Bring me to life, Kel.”
He slid his hands down her thighs and caught her behind the knees, shoving her legs high. “You’re my life.” He caught her wrist and bent down, sucked her fingers into his mouth and licked away the sweet dew as he took up the teasing caress with his other hand. “You’re my heart. My soul. My everything.”
Lifting his eyes, he stared at her flushed, gleaming face and stroked the sensitive flesh of her pussy where she was stretched so tight around him. “Come for me. Let me see it,” he ordered. Then he touched her clit, working it with smooth, quick circles. She wailed and arched, wiggling her hips, trying to take him deeper. He leaned over her, braced his hand by her head, watched her face for any sign he might hurt her. He started to shaft her, taking her with deep, hard thrusts and stroking her clit.
Her sharp, staccato scream echoed through the night. She reached down, caught his wrist and worked herself against his hand. “Come for me,” he ordered. She was dewy wet, tight and swollen…and when the rippling convulsions started deep inside her, he felt it.
Growling with victory, he muttered, “That’s it…come for me, sugar. Let me feel it…”
Her lids lifted, revealing dark, slumberous eyes. “Not without you.” She shuddered under him, arched up and reached for him. “Never without you. Not anymore.”
He hunkered over her, wrapped his arms around her slender torso. She draped hers over his shoulder and her lips touched his… The gentleness he’d wanted was suddenly there and he slowed until he was just rocking ever so slightly against her. “I love you,” he whispered.
“Hmmmm… Love you…Kel.” She cried out his name and bucked under him, the orgasm erupting inside her and as she clenched down around him, it set off his climax. Wrapped in each other’s arms, lost in each other’s bodies and thoughts, they fell…together.
Their lips met in a slow, lingering kiss and even after he collapsed against her, spent, the kiss didn’t end.
There were questions. There were worries. He was no longer quite sure exactly what to make of Angel and he didn’t know what the future held for them, or what awaited them… She was still mortal, right? But even as he asked himself that, a niggling little voice whispered, Are you sure?
She smelled different.
She moved in the night with the grace of a vampire.
Something about her simply felt different.
But none of that mattered. Not right now.
She smiled against his lips and whispered, “Kel…you’re thinking too much.”
Josiah came into Rafe’s office and pointed out the window behind Rafe’s desk. “You got any idea what’s going on out there?”
Rafe smirked. “I dunno…arts and crafts hour?”
Sheila, sitting at one of the two other computers, looked up from the blog she was reading. Batting her lashes, she said, “I really like arts and crafts, baby.”
Toronto came strolling in, smirking and looking entirely too satisfied. “I knew he wasn’t stupid.”
“I think all of you must be,” Josiah snapped. “Didn’t you say she was vampire bait? And you’re leaving Kel alone with her? Kel?”
Sheila glanced toward the window and then sent Josiah a wicked look. “Well, as much fun as it can be to watch, I think this is one of those ‘alone’ kind of moments.”
“But what if he…”
Rafe shook his head. “Don’t. There’s no ‘what if’, not when it comes to Kel and that girl. I never should have thought otherwise.” He slid Toronto and then his wife a glance. “As I’ve been pointedly told.”
Then he shrugged. “Besides, I’m not entirely sure what she is now. She still doesn’t feel human to me, or not entirely. But she’s not like she was when we first started watching her either. Who knows…maybe the effects fade.”
“Or maybe she’s a little more than just altered now,” Toronto offered, giving them one of his secretive little smiles. Without bothering to explain that, he left.
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Urban Fantasy Romance
Candy Houses • No Prince Charming • Crazed Hearts
The Ash Trilogy
If You Hear Her • If You See Her • If You Know Her
The Secrets & Shadows Series
Burn For Me •
Break For Me • Long For Me
Deeper Than Need • Sweeter Than Sin • Darker Than Desire
The FBI Psychics
The Missing • The Departed • The Reunited
The Protected • The Unwanted • The Innocent
The Hunters
Paranormal Romance
Hunting the Hunter • Hunters: Heart and Soul • Hunter’s Salvation
Hunter’s Need • Hunter’s Fall • Hunter’s Rise
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F*ck Club: Riley
"The first rule of F*ck Club...we don’t talk about it. We just do the job and get paid."
And Riley Steele did his job very well. He’ll be the first to admit that his current life isn’t the one he’d foreseen. It’s not even one he really wants, but after his parents died and he was left to care for two siblings and a mountain of debt, he was willing to do almost anything.
Now, after almost ten years of being paid to pleasure, he’s almost numb to it…and to women.
That all changes with one phone call. Brianna Sharpe, the girl he’d loved as a boy, is leaving an abusive lover and needs someplace to hide.
Opening his home to Bree is easy. Protecting his heart is a different story. She’d completely shattered it once already. But Bree has changed and Riley wants to think there might be a chance. Only...what will she do when she discovers his secrets?
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About
Shiloh Walker has been writing since she was a kid. She fell in love with vampires with the book Bunnicula and has worked her way up to the more…ah…serious works of fiction. Once upon a time she worked as a nurse, but now she writes full time and lives with her family in the Midwest. She writes romantic suspense and contemporary romance, and urban fantasy under her penname, J.C. Daniels. You can find her at Twitter or Facebook. Read more about her work at her website. Sign up for her newsletter and have a chance to win a monthly giveaway.
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