Pagan Lover

by Anne Hampson

  ‘I don’t know,’ broodingly and almost to herself. ‘Leon’s personality is so strong that—that I feel sort of—helpless————’

  ‘And like it? The he-man appeal, eh? And how long will a girl like you tolerate being subjugated by a damned foreigner?’

  ‘It’s because I object to being subjugated that I’m leaving him,’ she returned. ‘I should have thought you’d have guessed that, seeing that you guessed I love him.’ She was pale but composed, accepting with a sort of agonised resignation that she and Leon could never live together again. If only he had loved her.

  If only he could be masterful without being cruel.

  If only he could make love with respect and tenderness....

  Life for her without those things that really mattered had been unbearable. Leon was from the East, a man whose attitude towards the women in his life—be they wife, daughter or anyone else—was that of arrogant domination. His word was law and never could it be argued with; his will was supreme; his orders had to be obeyed without question. And so, much as she loved him, Tara was resigned never to setting eyes on him again.

  That evening David was so objectionable with her that she suggested he take the one available seat on the following day’s flight and leave her to travel later with the policeman. He agreed. It was an awkward goodbye and when it was over and David had gone she felt utterly drained. And Oscar Stewart did not help when, as they were having dinner, he made no pretence at civility.

  ‘All this waiting’s a damned waste of time!’ he declared. ‘I wouldn’t have minded if 1 could have taken that husband of yours back with me! We never thought that he’d have married you! That’s what made a mess of the whole bl— the whole damned business!’

  Tara’s chin lifted at his manner.

  ‘I’m glad there isn’t a case!’ she snapped.

  ‘Are you in love with the rogue?’ he asked befligerently. ‘If you are then what are you doing here?’

  ‘I don’t know....’ She looked at him, still angry but aware that tears were pressing against her eyes.

  ‘You don’t know?’ His manner changed dramatically. ‘You must know! You are in love with him!’

  Ignoring that, Tara brushed a hand across her eyes and said, ‘You keep on about losing a case, but I’ll tell you— this, Mr Stewart: there never could have been a case simply because I’d have saved my husband from prosecution by saying I went with him willingly, that I was not kidnapped at all!’

  ‘You—!’ He stared at her. ‘Do you suppose anyone would have believed you? You were on your way to a wedding, remember—your own wedding!’ She had no comment to make and after a while he went on wrath-fully, ‘Women! Perverse creatures, all of them. They don’t know their own minds for five minutes at a time! You say you want to get back to England, but it strikes me it’s your abductor you want to get back to!’

  She looked down at her plate, avoiding that strange expression that had settled on his face. He could almost have been planning something, she thought. And how right he was when he stated that she wanted to go back to her husband. She admitted it to herself freely now, and yet she said

  ‘We fly home tomorrow? You’re sure you have the seats booked?’

  ‘I’ve a good mind to let you make your own way.’ Fury in his tone and yet another edge to it which she failed to comprehend. And he was still staring strangely at her when at last she glanced up.

  ‘You wouldn’t do that,’ she returned confidently. ‘You wouldn’t leave me here, on my own.’

  ‘No,’ he murmured, his voice surprisingly mellowed. ‘No, I wouldn’t leave you here alone....’

  The following morning Tara went out into the city streets, wandering along from place to place and ending up in

  Constitution Square

  where she had a cup of coffee at an outdoor cafeneion. After that she decided to go to the Acropolis again, where she knew she could find peace, if only for a little while. She wandered about the ruins, trying to visualise what the site was like in those ancient days when all the marble buildings were in pristine condition, and the crowds would congregate her to pay homage to the pagan goddess Athena.

  The time wore on, and it was hunger that made her suddenly realise that the sun was going down and that soon the city of Athens would be ‘violet-crowned’.

  She had scarcely entered the lobby of the hotel when she heard her name spoken and she spun around to come face to face with Nico.

  ‘What are you doing here?’ he asked, and although there was an odd inflection in his tone it did not register with her. ‘Is—is Leon with you?’

  She shook her head.

  ‘I’ve escaped, Nico,’ she said, and her voice was very flat.

  Escaped? You managed it—but how?’ He seemed to be taking it too calmly, she thought, but before she had time to answer his question he was suggesting they go to the lounge and talk over a drink. Once there, Tara wasted no time in explaining everything to him, and after that he was doing some explaining himself, telling her how he had had to race away from that ladder because he knew that if Leon had seen him he would most certainly have caught him.

  ‘He can run faster than I,’ he ended ruefully.

  ‘I don’t blame you for running away, but, why didn’t you get in touch with me later?’

  ‘I thought I’d better disappear for a while, just in case it should occur to Leon that it was I who was helping you.’

  It had occurred to Leon, but to Tara’s surprise he had not pursued the matter. It now occurred to her that he must have tried to find Nico, but Nico had prudently gone off, putting himself out of his reach.

  And why are you here now?’ she wanted to know.

  There was a slight hesitation before Nico answered, and when he did answer he seemed to be deliberately avoiding her eyes.

  ‘I have my boat at Piraeus.’

  ‘And are you returning to Hydra soon?’

  ‘Yes, quite soon.’ He looked at her questioningly. ‘You’d like to come back to Hydra?’

  She shook her head, but did wonder if it was convincing.

  ‘Are you in love with Leon, Tara?’ The question came after a long silence, and it seemed that Nico had some difficulty in asking it.

  She looked at him through misty eyes, swallowing hard and wishing their drinks would come so that she could ease this dryness in her throat.

  ‘Yes,’ she owned simply, ‘I am in love with Leon. But I can’t stay, Nico,’ she went on sadly, ‘because I’m English and I want my husband to love me. In Greece it’s almost always a loveless marriage—or it can be one-sided, I suppose, simply because women the world over seem to fall in love—’ Bitterness edged her voice as she thought again of the vagaries of nature in creating conflicting emotions in men and women. ‘I’m English,’she said again, ‘and I must have love in my marriage, love from my husband.’

  ‘You sound very sad about it all,’ he said, a distinct catch in his voice.

  ‘Of course I’m sad.’ She looked into his dark face, into his eyes, aware of their odd expression but naturally attaching no significance to it. ‘What woman wouldn’t be sad at having to desert the husband she loves? My life would be bliss if Leon loved me. Yes, of course I’m sad,’ she repeated, and it was with the greatest difficulty that she held back the tears that had gathered behind her eyes.

  ‘I could have liked you a lot myself, but there was never any chance for me. I see that now.’

  ‘It was kind of you to offer to help me to escape, Nico’

  ‘I didn’t do much good. Was Leon mad?’

  ‘Don’t ask me about it,’ she shuddered. ‘I thought he’d murder me!’

  ‘He always did have a temper.’ He looked at her and a thin smile touched his lips. ‘He always attracted the women, too. Nice gentle men like me are not greatly in demand.’

  ‘One day, Nico, you’ll find the right one.’

  He shrugged and changed the subject.

  ‘Elene’s leaving Hydra and living p
ermanently in Athens.’

  ‘She is?’ Tara’s heart fluttered. ‘So the affair between Leon and her won’t be resumed?’

  Nico shook his head.

  ‘It’s over. Leon’s married now, remember.’ Strange his tone and puzzling. ‘Greek people consider that marriage is for ever.’

  ‘I’m intending to divorce him,’ she said, and once again her voice was very flat.

  The drinks arrived and she took a larger gulp than ever before. People often drowned their sorrows in drink, she thought, and almost wished she could do the same. Unfortunately there was always the awakening.

  ‘He won’t be happy about a divorce—’ Nico stopped abruptly and frowned. ‘Let’s have a change of subject—’ He took a quick glance at his watch as if an idea had just come to him. ‘You’re not flying until midnight, you said?’

  ‘That’s right—if that policeman takes me, which I hope he does.’

  ‘Look, would you care to have a couple of hours on my boat?’

  I’ve to be at the airport at a quarter to eleven,’ she said doubtfully. ‘I wouldn’t have time. I must be here, waiting, when Mr Stewart is ready to leave.’ She shook her head decisively. ‘It would have been nice, Nico, but I haven’t eaten yet—’

  ‘We could have something on the boat. I had intended having my dinner here, but we could knock up something on the boat. My crew are rather good at that sort of thing.’ He was eager, waiting for her answer. She would rather not take any risks, just in case something happened and she missed the plane. However, it would obviously be a disappointment to Nico if she refused his offer, and she found herself accepting it with a smile.

  They took a taxi to the port, and soon Tara was boarding the luxury yacht. It reminded her Leon’s graceful vessel . . . and of the fear she had known when being forced aboard.

  ‘Carry on into the saloon,’ Nico was saying. ‘I’ll be back in a minute.’ She turned and he was gone. Where was the saloon? At least he could have taken her there before going off like that. Why was it so dark ... this boat—

  ‘Good evening, Tara.’ The suave half-mocking voice slashed at her thoughts and she spun round, every vestige of colour draining from her face. ‘So I kidnap you for the second time—with the assistance of my good friend Nico.’ He was standing there, in a doorway, so casual, so confident. ‘I must say that it becomes a little boring, having to repeat this performance. Put me to the trouble a third time and I shan’t be responsible for my actions. Come here!’

  Instead she turned, with the intention of either getting off the boat or jumping into the water, as it would be easy to swim to safety. But she was caught by the hand and prevented from doing anything except look up into her husband’s dark face ... and gasp at what she saw there.

  ‘This boat’s yours,’ was all she could find to say before his lips came down to meet hers, and his kiss was infinitely tender.

  ‘Darling, I couldn’t help teasing you just now, but it wasn’t worth it after all; you looked so frightened. Don’t ever be afraid of me again, my dear, dear love....’ His voice trailed to a husky silence and it seemed that words failed him for a while because he just held her close to his heart so that she heard its wild beating high above her own. Dazedly she thought: the miracle’s happened. And how it had happened was by no means important, she knew, but such were her emotions that she found herself gripping the lapels of his coat with frenzied fingers and saying wildly,

  ‘I’m so confused— Oh, Leon, how did it happen! I can’t believe it’s true—tell me it’s true,’ she cried, the tears actually starting to her eyes. ‘You—love m-me?’

  ‘I adore you!’ He caught her to him again and for the next few moments Tara found herself being carried on the tide of his ardour as she had on so many occasions before. But this time it was different ... because he loved her.

  ‘How did it happen? she asked again when at last he released her.

  He led her into the saloon and put on a few shaded lights. It was a romantic setting for his explanation, with the dimmed lights and flowers and the gentle sway of the boat. And as if that were not enough there drifted from somewhere along the waterfront the haunting strains of music being played by a bouzouki band.

  Tara and Leon sat side by side on a couch, fingers entwined, and he began to talk. She learned many things as she listened, her head on his shoulder—learned of his sheer terror when she sat on that windowsill, learned that his subsequent fury was the result of that fear. He then told her of his determination to tackle Nico on his return from Chios, of how he had forced the truth from him, telling him he would have done him, Leon, a bad turn if his help had proved successful, because he loved, his wife.

  Leon then went on to give her the surprising news that Oscar Stewart had thought fit to telephone him with the information that Tara would have lied rather than have a case brought against her husband.

  ‘When he said that you’d have insisted that you came with me willingly I knew that you loved me—the fact that you would lie to save me proved it.’ He took her tenderly to his breast, kissing her quivering lips. ‘My darling, I’d hoped that you would come to love me, but I’d treated you so badly—’ He stopped, and a sigh of deep regret escaped him. ‘I never wanted to fall in love,’ he admitted frankly, ‘and I secretly derided your sentiments about loving and caring being so important that there could be no happiness in marriage without them. But in the end, my love, I came to accept your wisdom without question. And if there were any doubts left in my mind they were gone that night when you nearly fell.’ He seemed to shudder and it was with a sort of joyous wonderment that Tara saw how deeply he was affected by what had happened. ‘As I said, I wanted your love, but I was always conscious of what I’d done to you in the beginning—’

  ‘But you said it was for the best, and it was,’ she broke in, snuggling close against his breast.

  ‘Perhaps it was wishful thinking,’ he admitted unexpectedly. ‘To be honest, darling, I was afraid—dreadfully afraid, once I began to realise that I loved you.’ He paused, but she said nothing and he proceeded to tell her how he had asked Nico to accompany him td Piraeus, and they had planned for Nico to stay in the hotel until he came across Tara.

  ‘But why didn’t you come yourself, Leon?’ she asked, puzzled.

  ‘Because,’ he answered wryly, ‘I feared that if you only so much as set eyes on me you’d turn and run and never stop until you were exhausted. Then I’d have had to go to a lot of trouble to find you again. No, it was easier———’

  ‘You’d have found me?’ she said, and instantly his brows lifted and in his voice when he answered she recognised all the old familiar mastery.

  ‘I should have found you all right. Haven’t I said that I shall never let you go—that you are mine, for ever!’

  ‘Yes, Leon,’ she returned in a low tone, ‘you have’

  ‘As I was saying, it was easier to do it the way we have, with Nico inviting you on to my boat.’

  ‘He was very convincing; he didn’t give a thing away.’

  ‘I told him to be careful. It would have been frustrating if you’d refused to come aboard the boat.’

  ‘Nico must have felt obligated to you,’ murmured Tara mechanically.

  ‘He as less willing than you’ve assumed. He said he’d help me but that he would not entice you aboard unless he was sure that you loved me. My loving you wasn’t enough for him, he said. He’d be a traitor to you if he brought you aboard and you didn’t want to come back to me. It would, in effect, be condemning you to imprisonment, as he called it—which sounds very much like the phrasing my wife has used on more than one occasion,’ added Leon with a hint of amusement.

  ‘I realise now that Nico did ask some rather pointed questions,’ she told him musingly. ‘Yes, he made sure he knew I loved you before he asked me to come on to his boat’

  ‘Well, he had to say it was his, hadn’t he?’

  ‘Oh, Leon, I do love him for what he did!’

  Her
husband held her from him.

  ‘You what!’

  ‘You know what I mean,’ she laughed. ‘I love you too, of course.’

  ‘Thanks for those kind words! I shall require them to be far more romantically put later, after we have eaten a very special dinner that is being prepared for us.’

  ‘Nico said his crew would manage to get something together!’

  ‘All part of the deception. And it worked! ‘He drew her close, his hard lips crushing hers beneath them and never drawing away until she was gasping for breath.

  ‘When did you know you were falling in love with me?’ Tara wanted to know when she had recovered.

  ‘That is a question I find it impossible to answer.’ The black eyes looked into hers for a long moment and then, ‘I often wonder if it was love at first sight,’ he admitted reflectively, ‘because never in my life have I been so greatly attracted to a woman as I was to you when we met in that hospital ward. I wanted you, and I vowed to have you.’

  She just shook her head in wonderment. It had never occurred to either of them that it could have been love at first sight.

  ‘I thought it was desire, Leon,’ she said.

  ‘So did I, at the time, but....’ He shrugged and said it really made no difference because he loved her now.

  ‘I do remember that I was blazing mad when you mentioned pillow-friends,’ he mused. ‘I knew even then that I would never have another as long as I lived, and that was what inflamed me when you talked about them. I must have been in love with you from very early on,’ he added with a wry smile.

  ‘There was a time when I thought you might be falling in love with me, Leon, but afterwards I felt I was mistaken.’

  ‘It was a pity that neither of us spoke about our feelings. I must have known that love was dawning with you as well, because you are not the girl to give herself freely just for desire.’ He sounded contrite and she turned her face to his and her lips were soft and yielding on his mouth. ‘God, but I love you!’ he said hoarsely, bringing her slender body against the iron-hard muscles of his own. He stood up, bringing her with him, but he just held her then in a gentle tender embrace and looked down into her big blue eyes, eyes filled with love and happiness. There were a few explanations still to be made, but neither felt inclined to waste any more time on such things now. And so they just stood there, in the shaded light of the saloon, their bodies close, their thoughts on the future and the joys of loving and caring which were, after all, the most important things in marriage.