Breathe Again

by Rachel Brookes

  “I got rid of the past.”

  I spun around and looked at him as the anger from earlier quickly returned. “You mean you got rid of all the furniture you fucked other chicks on.”

  Tate’s hand shot out and grasped my arm tightly, spinning me around so I was flush hard against his rigid body. If I thought he was pissed before, now he was about ready to explode. His eyes glared bottom-of-the-ocean blue at me while his jaw clenched tight.

  “Seriously, Savannah? Is this how our relationship is going to be? Are we constantly going to discuss who has fucked whom? You want to know my number? Is that what this is about? I’ve fucked a lot—a shitload, actually.” He dropped his face dangerously close to mine, his breath tickling my lips as he spoke. “But there is one major difference between you and them, Savannah. You are the only one I’ve made love to. The only one. Not even Candice got that. It’s you, Sav. We fuck each other senseless but we also make love, and that’s what is important to me. I don’t want to keep going around on a roller coaster with you. Yes, I fucked Chelsea, and yes, she filmed it, but it was before you. Way before you.”

  My head spun dangerously out of control and my eyes became fuzzy as I realized that I wasn’t breathing. Tate’s words tumbled around my head, colliding with every thought and emotion I’d had jammed in there since that fateful day in New York City. I gasped deeply, begging for air to fill my empty lungs. There was absolutely no denying his love for me. His heart and soul were a on a platter for me, available for me and me only.

  He had changed everything he once had been for me. His past was his past, and mine was no better than his. I had been a slut—there was no denying it. I had fucked for therapy. I had fucked for relief, desperate for a few minutes away from my tumultuous memories. But now, love was helping me more than I could ever have dreamed of, and the man in front of me my second chance.

  “I fucking hate that bitch.”

  “So do I, but can we just not talk about her? All I can think about right now is bending you over that desk and christening it.”

  “I’m not just going to jump right back into fucking you, Tate,” I groaned, trying desperately to hide the smile begging to shine. I clenched my legs tightly together, silently pleading with my body not to come undone. The smirk that spread over his face was a clear indication that he didn’t believe a single word I was saying.

  “Wanna make love then?” he asked with a sly grin.

  “If I’m not fucking you, then I’m certainly not making love to you.”

  “Really? Well that’s not what your flushed cheeks, jagged breathing, and increased heartbeat say.” He placed his hand directly over my heart, and I knew for a fact that it was thumping dangerously hard. His eyes flashed over my face and dropped to take in my heaving chest against his hand. “Let me make you forget her. Let me fuck the memories of her and me out of your head. You and I need to take up every space in your pretty mind.”

  What the hell was he trying to do to me? Every inch of my body was alight for him. My heart was defrosting for him. And as he looked at me with hooded eyes full of devotion and anticipation, I knew this was it. This was my choice. He was giving me this moment, one last chance to move forward, make a future together, and laugh in the face of the past or throw our relationship into the hot pits of hell for the world to no longer include Tate and Savannah.

  For two months, I fought emotions I’d never known existed and every thought I’d suffered was desperately trying to derail everything that was Tate and Sav. This whole situation could have been stopped if I had just been confident in our relationship. We were in this fucked-up situation because of my insecurities, yet here he was, standing before me, giving me the potential of having his entire world.

  “Tate,” I breathlessly and painfully said.

  “Yes, Savannah?” His breath tickled my lips as he hovered closely to me. One measly step was all I needed to take to be chest to chest with him.

  “I’m so sorry. I should never have asked you to leave. I was scared. I thought it was—”

  My words were swallowed the moment Tate crashed into me. Within seconds, my ability to choke out any words of retraction was taken and I was pushed against the edge of his desk, my jeans swiftly removed at the impatient hands of Tate Connors.

  Holy fuck. My body was on fire. Never had I ever felt this turned on. My body hummed and begged for him, craved him. With lips of want, he attached himself to my neck, sucking and nipping my sensitive skin, and my moans soon filled the empty space of the room. My head fell back and I leaned back on my elbows as pleasure swarmed my body.

  “This is us, Savannah. You and me—no one else has this.” His voice vibrated with promise and certainty against my throat.

  It was true. There was no one like him. There would never be anyone like him. I shifted my body under his, allowing my hands to run over his broad shoulders and move their way to his hair. Roughly pulling on the back of his head, I forced his mouth to mine. For a brief moment, I hesitated, my breathing heavy, broken, and deep.

  His breathing was increasing with want and his eyes hooded with mine. Dropping his forehead to mine, he whispered, “What do you want from me, Sav?”

  What did I want from him? I wanted him inside me. I inched my face forward, allowing my tongue to trace his perfectly plump bottom lip. Under my soft touch, his eyes hooded and fluttered shut. He was beautiful and completely at my mercy. Sucking his bottom lip into my mouth, I bit down softly, and as if I’d turned on a light switch, my Tate was back. His tongue invaded my mouth, sweeping through, tasting everything I was. Our tongues danced together feverishly, needing and in pure ownership. I needed air, but I wouldn’t break.

  Tate’s hand ran up the length of my thigh, stopping dangerously close to where I craved him most. My panties were saturated and I knew they had been for a while. I wanted them off. I felt the air move as he ran his hand up my thighs before lifting his hand and placing it on my hip, missing my desire. I paused and groaned in pain. I was aching.

  “Tate, please,” I moaned, lifting my hips from the desk and pushing myself against him. He stilled, his hips rocking painstakingly close, allowing his cock to grind against my panties.

  “What do you want, Sav? You said no fucking. You said no making love.”

  “Fingers,” I begged.

  “That would mean I was fucking you. You said no fucking. That means no fingers, no mouth, no cock.” He continued to tease and grind himself devastatingly close to my now throbbing and hungry pussy, and my eyes rolled into the back of my head as a symphony of moans escaped me. The sound of his heavy breathing and the feeling of his heavy cock against me made me feel as if I were swinging like a pendulum on the brink of crashing into a deep sea of pure ecstasy.

  “Fuck me, Tate. Make me forget her. Make me think only of us.” My eyes shot open to find him looking at me with eyes of intention and lust.

  His hands swept down my hips, his fingertips sliding in the elastic of my panties and, with rushed fingers, moving them down my now sweaty thighs. He took a step back to take a moment to admire my new body.

  “You are so sexy.” His voice was hoarse and full of need.

  His hands snapped open his fly, and within seconds, Tate stepped out of his pants and prowled towards me. His eyes never left mine. My hands, full of intention and want, grabbed him, caressed him, squeezed him the just the way I knew he liked. He knew every pleasure point of my body just as well as I knew his. That’s what made him mine. I knew him. I owned him. I loved him.

  My fingertip swirled on the tip; massaging the drop of liquid showing he was ready for me. I lifted my fingertip to my mouth and swirled my tongue, tasting him. The rumble that escaped the back of his throat penetrated deep within me, and my body clenched with excited anticipation.

  “Just you and me, Sav. Just us,” Tate whispered. With one swift movement, he eased me down, my back flush against the desk. The sensation of the cold timber against my heated body was incredible.

  W
ithout a sign of hesitation, Tate slid deep inside me, filling me with what I had desperately missed. He stilled above me. Two months without him had led to instantaneous pleasure soaring through every inch of my body. My body clenched around him and the smirk sweeping over his face made my confidence soar. Pulling out and pushing in slowly, he gently rocked his body above mine, holding himself up with his hands. Confusion swept through me. This wasn’t my Tate.

  “Are you going to fuck me?” I moaned in desperation, raising one of my eyebrows in his direction. His eyes flashed to my stomach and I realized at that moment that he was scared of hurting me and Jellybean. I couldn’t help but giggle. “Tate, if you aren’t going to fuck me hard, then what the hell are we doing here?” I shifted down the desk and wrapped my legs aggressively around his hips, pushing his body closer to mine. “You won’t hurt me.”

  I watched as his jaw tense and then the beast was unleashed. His hands encased around my waist and he pounded into me like it was the first time we had ever had sex. Every inch of my body shuddered and felt his desire with every thrust of his body. He was so deep. I bit my lip to stop the scream of pleasure soaring through the air. The sound of the desk shifting on the floor under the intensity of Tate’s pounding increased the roar of my impending orgasm. Fuck, I had missed him.

  “Come for me, Sav.” His voice, his demands, his words unleashed a flood of desire inside me and I exploded into a rush of stars and heavy breathing as I came around him. Tate’s body became rigid and stilled inside me like a statute as he came deep within me. Our breathing crashed together as our foreheads rested against each other’s in a blatant attempt to be as close as possible. As I breathed out, he breathed me in. Within seconds, I felt him relax against me and finally we were as one again.

  Tate pulled out slowly, his concerned eyes never leaving mine. Did he think I was going to freak out? My body finally felt relief after being wound so tight for the past two months and only Tate could relieve that.

  “Thank you,” I whispered.

  Tate grabbed a tissue from his desk and softly and gently started to clean me up. My eyes slammed shut as the simplest of touch sent shudders through my body. His hands ran down my legs, sweeping his fingertips along my inner thigh. It was so innocent, but every hair on my body stood to attention. I was hopeless. Tate slid my panties up over my legs followed by my jeans. There was no way I wouldn’t have the I just got royally fucked look plastered all over my face.

  “You’re blushing.” Tate laughed softly. His hands gripped mine and pulled me to my feet. My protruding stomach grazed his, and I sighed in contentment and satisfaction.

  “I know you wouldn’t cheat on me, Tate. I was just scared. I felt ambushed. I felt like it was happening to me again and I can’t handle that. I should have trusted you. I do trust you. And it’s foreign for me to trust someone as much as I trust you. I should have told Chelsea to fuck off. I’m so sorry.”

  His strong arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me taut against his body. His scent flooded my nose, a mix of cologne, beer, and sex. He was perfection. My bump poked his abs, and I finally felt like I was home. The unease, the loneliness, and the confusion of the last two months were washed away the moment I was in his arms and, well, to be honest, the moment he took me on his desk.

  His perfect lips splashed soft kisses on my still-sticky-with-sweat neck as he buried his face in my hair, his breathing calm yet deep. “I love you, Savannah Rae. Always.” Tate words vibrated against my skin as his grip on my waist intensified.

  “We are each other’s forever, right?”

  “You are my forever. We need to trust each other. I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did about Blake and I regret it so much. You are my everything, Sav. If I have to chase you around the world, I will. If I have to shout it from the rooftops, I will. Just please stick with me. I’ll prove my love every day if I have to. You are it for me. No one else.”

  “You are swooning again.” I laughed softly, nuzzling into his chest and enjoying the rhythmic sound of his heart.

  “So can I come to your place tonight?”

  “Our place,” I corrected. “I still want it to be our place.”

  “Can I move in tonight?”

  Running my fingers through his hair, I kissed him quickly and pulled out my best bedroom eyes. “Um, Tate, while you are happily fucked and clearly boozed, I have something I need to tell you.”

  “Should I be nervous?”

  “I may have offered Lucas our spare room for a few weeks.”

  Confusion swept over his face. “Why isn’t he staying with Ali?”

  “Have you been drunk the whole time I’ve been gone and missed that Ali and Lucas are no longer together?”

  “What the fuck? I saw them together… Oh. That was a month ago. Why? Where is he?”

  “He hasn’t said anything to me about it.”

  “Come on. We are finding him.”

  Tate clutched at my hand and hauled me out of the office and through the crowd as I protested. Two massive fears swam through me. One was how I looked. I still had the sated look of pleasure on my face and I knew my hair and makeup were an atrocious mess. And two, Tate plus copious amounts of alcohol confronting Lucas wasn’t a good combination.

  Lucas sat at the bar, talking to a new member of the Red Velvet staff I hadn’t met yet. His eyes drifted towards Tate and me, and I gave him a pathetic smile in reassurance.

  “Lucas, can I please have a word?” Tate asked in a surprisingly calm tone when we finally reached the bar.

  Lucas shot a look at me before turning to Tate. “Uh sure.”

  “Not here. In my office.” Tate squeezed my hand quickly and pulled me back towards his office.

  Lucas looked at me with questioning eyes. I mouthed, “He knows you and Ali aren’t together.” Lucas’s eyes widened and he looked over my shoulder at Tate.

  I sat on the edge of the desk when we got to Tate’s office. Tate closed the door and crossed the room to stand beside me. Lucas shifted on his feet nervously, his gaze darting between Tate and me. Silence filled the air. As every second passed, the intensity increased.

  “So you and Ali have broken up?” Tate asked in a low tone.

  “Yes. We are on a break.”

  “Why?”

  “Tate, that’s none of our business,” I objected, shooting Tate a what the fuck look and Lucas an I’m sorry look.

  “Ali is my cousin, Sav, so it is certainly my business, and if Lucas is going to be staying with us, then I need to make sure someone who didn’t hurt my cousin is moving in.”

  “You two are moving in together?” Lucas asked with a huge smile taking over his face.

  “Focus, Lucas!” I shot, not hiding the smile I had on display.

  “I asked her to marry me. She said no. I know we haven’t been together long, but she is my future and I wanted to snap her up before someone else did. She said she needs time apart so I moved out.”

  “You asked her to marry you!” I shrieked and clapped like a baby seal. “Lucas, that is so sweet. How did you do it? Where were you? I want to know everything. Fuck it, I am crying.”

  Lucas and Tate both turned to me and smirked as warm tears cascaded over my cheeks. My emotions were a mess. Damn pregnancy hormones. I was now notorious for crying at the drop of a hat. I’d even cried in Starbucks the other day because I heard a song and because they didn’t have my favorite mint chocolate Frappuccino available that day. Seriously, I was an emotional wreck.

  “Don’t you two laugh at me!” I warned with a hint of a smile being heard in my voice. “It’s your fault I’m crying all the time.” Moving towards Tate, I stood before him, my eyes scanning his face. He seemed to have sobered up quickly. I wanted to give him and Lucas time to talk. They needed to talk. “I am going to go and find Tanzi. Will you be okay in here?”

  “We will be fine. We are just going to talk,” Tate said softly, kissing my lips lightly and playfully slapping my arse as I turned and made my way out
of the office.

  An hour passed and there was still no sign of Tate and Lucas. To say I was worried was an understatement. To be honest, the thought of them brawling and now both lying unconscious in Tate’s office had crossed my mind more than once. I sat with my glass of ice water, sipping it occasionally with my eyes glued to the closed office door. Talk about being on edge.

  Suddenly, the door swung open and the sight before me nearly had me falling out of my chair. Tate and Lucas walked out of the office laughing, neither of them bleeding. My eyes bugged wide and I knew my mouth was hanging open. Tate shot a wink at me as he moved through the crowd towards the bar and Lucas walked towards me before slumping on the chair opposite me.

  “That guy is too much.” Lucas almost swooned.

  I choked on my water. “What the fuck just happened?”

  “All will be revealed. Let’s just say I apologized for oogling at your boobs earlier and then we spoke for a good ten minutes about your girls.” Lucas smirked at me and folded his arms over his chest. I looked at him wide-eyed and in shock. Tate and Lucas were fiercely competitive with each other, but now it seemed they had skipped being friends and were now best friends.

  “Oh and, Sav, you and that damn office smell of sweaty sex.”

  Tate

  WAKING UP with Sav in my arms was hands-down one of my most favorite things in the world. Sex, surfing, and Mom’s red velvet cupcakes were up there, but this...this was abso-fucking-lutely perfect. My eyes were still closed and I felt her shift in my arms. I knew exactly what she was doing when I heard the soft sigh escape her lips.

  “Staring at a person while they are sleeping is creepy.” My rough voice bounced off the walls of what I could now call our bedroom.

  Her giggles filled my ears and I grabbed her tightly around her waist as she buried her face in the crook of my neck. We lay in silence, but I felt the increasing beat of her heart against my bare chest and I groaned as her nails ran through my hair. She pulled away and looked at me with eyes of intention and instantly my dick came alive.