Breathe Again

by Rachel Brookes

  “Sav,” his voice croaked from the bed, laced with exhaustion. He remembered me. His hand patted the mattress beside him softly and finally I found my ability to walk. Cautiously walking across the room, I pulled the seat towards the bed, sat beside him, and completely lost it. Every stress, worry, concern, and fear I’d had over the past two months washed out of me in a barrel of tears.

  “I thought I had lost you. I thought I would never speak to you again.”

  “I am tougher than that. You won’t get rid of me that easily. Can you pass me some water?” his scratchy voice asked. Handing him the water, I watched with wide eyes as he eased the straw to his mouth before coughing slightly. “How long have you been here?”

  “Two months. I came as soon as I found out,” I admitted.

  “Tate?”

  I swallowed hard, averting my eyes from his. “I haven’t seen him since I left.”

  “Savannah,” he groaned

  “I needed to be here to be with you. When I got that phone call, everything came crashing back to me. I couldn’t imagine what I would do if I lost you so I did what I thought I needed to do.” I dropped my head to the bed as fresh tears appeared. “I need to take care of you like you have always taken care of me.”

  “Sav, what am I going to do with you?” he said softly, his eyes closing briefly as the need to sleep came on. “You aren’t ever going to lose me. I’m a tough cookie and I’ll be around annoying you for a very long time to come.”

  “You promise?”

  “Always.”

  Tate

  I WAS going to Australia.

  In ten hours, I would be boarding a plane from LAX and flying straight to Sydney, finally be where I was meant to be—with Savannah and Max. To say I was ecstatic would be an understatement. To say I had been floating around like a lovesick fool for the past two weeks wouldn’t be short of the truth.

  The moment I told Sav, it had felt like everything that had been shadowing my life had lifted. Now, as I started filling my suitcase for what would be an extended trip, I couldn’t be more excited. I had made sure my ticket was open ended and I would stay for as long as was needed until we could come back to Los Angeles together as a family. That was the one and only goal I had.

  Everything relating to Red Velvet was under control. Jack would be taking over management during my absence; Blake would be working when he wasn’t on tour, and anything relating to the expansion to Las Vegas could now be done via email, seeing as all the contracts had been signed.

  The annoying buzz of my phone ringing sounded from my bed. After I lifted shirts and pants to find it, my eyes narrowed when I saw Stevie’s name flash on the screen.

  “What’s up, Stevie?” I asked cheerfully, my mood annoyingly chipper.

  “Tate, you’ve got to get down to the club. There are some cops here and Blake is being questioned and now they are demanding to see you.”

  And just like that my cheerful mood disappeared. “What the fuck? What are they questioning Blake about? What the hell do they want from me?”

  “Chelsea Davison is suing Red Velvet for damages and claiming that Blake assaulted her.”

  The world began rapidly spinning out of control. Stevie’s words hit every inch of my being. I’d never wanted to hear that name again, but here she was, haunting everything I had fought so hard for. Why the fuck was she so intent on creating misery in everything she did? Looking at my half-packed suitcase, I felt unease swamp through me. Savannah. Standing to my feet, I fetched my keys, wallet, and phone and rushed to Red Velvet, desperate to get to the end of whatever fucked-up story the psycho known as Chelsea had come up with this time.

  SIX HOURS later, I stumbled into Tanzi and Jack’s apartment, I couldn’t stay another night alone in mine and Sav’s apartment. Chelsea fucking Davison strikes again. Her claims were completely unfounded. Chelsea was claiming that Blake had used aggressive force when he removed her from Red Velvet when she had turned up with our father and that she had sustained bruising to her arms and neck that resulted in her not being able to work. To add another layer to her stupid claims, she was also suing the club for breach of general citizen rights, citing that the reasons for her removal hadn’t been justified and that I had verbally abused her, which had resulted in emotional turmoil and subsequent loss of income since there was no way that she could work. It was completely and utterly false. Knowing that this absurd work of fiction was being taken seriously only intensified my anger. The moment she had told them she had a witness—a witness, I might add, in the form of my father—the LAPD had to take her claims seriously, meaning it would be investigated and go to court unless it could be thrown out.

  “Tate, is that you?” Tanzi’s sleep-filled voice sounded from the hall.

  “Yep. Go back to bed, Tanzi.”

  The light above me flickered on, illuminating the apartment. It was after two a.m. and I knew I wouldn’t be sleeping for many hours to come. My head was rattled, playing what-if scenarios over in my mind, trying desperately to come up with a solution to wipe this from reality, but so far I had come up with nothing.

  Tanzi walked through the apartment, sleep etched on her face. Joining me on the couch, she took my hand in hers softly and faced me, sitting cross-legged. She didn’t speak. She just sat there watching me, reading me, trying to work out what was swimming dangerously fast in my head.

  “I have to tell Sav that I can’t come to Australia.” My voice broke under the finalization of my words. “What am I supposed to do, Tanzi? I’ve spent the last two hours driving around Los Angeles, trying to work out a way to get around this but I’ve come up completely empty. If I leave the country, it could go to court any time, and if I’m not here to attend proceedings, then it will look like we are in contempt. If I don’t go to Australia, I don’t see Sav and Max.”

  “Sav will understand. I talked to her earlier tonight. Mr. Davenport is recovering faster than expected so she could be home before you know it. You two have already been separated for long enough, so if it’s another month, you will handle it.”

  Tanzi kissed my cheek before taking off back down the hall towards her and Jack’s room. I turned my phone over in my hand, knowing that the inevitable needed to happen. Pressing the call button, I waited anxiously to hear that sweet Australian accent greet me.

  “I get to see you in less than a day!” Sav squealed the moment she answered and immediately my heart sank. I lost the ability to speak. “Tate?”

  “Hey, Sav.” I knew my voice was as weak as hell.

  “What’s wrong?”

  Swallowing hard, I slammed my eyes shut, begging for an ounce of strength to hit me. “I need to postpone my trip. Chelsea filed an assault charge against Blake and she is suing Red Velvet for damages. It all happened a couple of hours ago and I’ve been with my lawyers all night trying to work out what I can do. I am so sorry, Sav. I want to come to Australia. I even have my bags packed, but I can’t leave the country yet,” I rambled, desperate to get everything that needed to be said out. Complete silence greeted me on the other end of the phone. “Savannah, are you there?”

  “Yes, I am here.”

  “I am sorry. I cannot believe that she would do this. Please say something.”

  “You can’t believe she would do this?” Sav spoke so softly I could barely hear her. “Do you realize you are talking about Chelsea? Once again she is dictating our lives.”

  “Sav, please,” I sighed over the truth of Savannah’s words. “You know that I want nothing more to be with you and Max, but what the fuck am I supposed to do? She is suing my club. Our livelihood is in those clubs and she is threatening to go to the press about Blake. He is stressing out. I am trying to my hardest to get this worked out. Fuck, I will pay her off if it means I can get to you, but my lawyers are telling me that’s the last straw.”

  “You need to do what you’ve got to do. Max and I are fine over here.” Her words were laced with annoyance, sadness, and frustration. I knew I wouldn’t
get any more out of her tonight. “I hope it all works out and you get everything sorted. I know her threats are lies and I know she won’t stop until she destroys you and me. I am learning that time and time again.”

  “Nothing will destroy us, Sav. Nothing.”

  Savannah

  A WEEK had passed since Tate told me he couldn’t come to Australia. I felt the emptiness of being away from him rush back and I was back to going about my days with only one focus—Mr. Davenport’s recovery.

  The moment he told me he wasn’t coming, my body had bubbled with angry emotion. The fact that it was Chelsea who had stopped him from coming ripped away at me. Why had she had to do that? Was her obsession with Tate that strong that she didn’t care who she took down in the process? I couldn’t let thoughts of Chelsea take me away from why I was here thought and now I felt the urge and need to refocus and regroup.

  Walking down the familiar corridors of the hospital, I slammed to a halt. What the fuck? Mr. Davenport walked towards me with a smile plastered on his face—without the help of an aid or nurse. I knew he was recovering quickly, but this completely baffled me. I took off with Max in my arms as happy tears streamed down my face.

  “Gramps!” Max squealed. I flinched at the intensity of Max’s excitement and noticed the look being shot to us from the nurse sitting at the nurses’ station.

  “When did this happen?” I asked. “You forgot to mention the fact that you are walking now.”

  “I have been doing extra sessions with physiotherapy for the past week. I didn’t want to worry you anymore if I couldn’t do this.” His face suddenly dropped and his eyes narrowed in on me. “Why have you been crying?” his thick voice demanded.

  Shit! “I am just so happy to see you and see that you are up and about,” I lied, dragging my eyes away from him and turning to Max, who looked at us both happily.

  “Savannah, tell me. These tears aren’t about me. Let’s go outside. Max can have a run around while you and I are talking.” He took off slowly. He might have been walking unaided, but his steps were small and hesitant. He was walking!

  The Australian sunshine hit my skin as we walked through the landscaped lawns of St. George Hospital. After Mr. Davenport and I took a seat on the bench, Max ran off laughing and completely carefree.

  “Tate was meant to be here with us but bitch-of-the-century Chelsea has decided to stir up shit again. He was supposed to have flown here last week.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me? Go back to LA, Sav. Go back to Tate. You can see that I am okay. I am recovered. All I have to wait on is word that I can travel and I’ll be back in LA.”

  “When you go back is when we go back.”

  “Sav, stop being so stubborn. I’m not going anywhere. You have stopped your life for me for almost three months. You did not have to do that.”

  “Yes I did,” I whispered

  “Sav, talk to me, please. What is going on in that pretty little head of yours?”

  “I can’t leave until you are with us, okay? The last time I left anyone I cared about in the hospital, I lost them. They died and I will never get them back again. I can’t lose you and I refuse to lose you. I don’t care what you say or what threats you make. I will not be going back to the States without you.”

  “I have never met a more stubborn person in my life. What can I do to show you that you aren’t losing me? I am here, Sav. I am walking, talking and breathing. My brain is fully recovered. All I have are a couple of scars to remind me. I will be back in the States within the next month, as soon as I get clearance for long-haul travel. You can go, Sav. Take Max back to Tate.”

  “No. We are flying back together and that’s final.”

  Mr. Davenport didn’t argue with me again, but I could tell by the scowl etched on his face that he wasn’t impressed. It was final. I couldn’t leave without him. However, hearing him say that we would be back in the States within the next month excited me. It unleashed thousands of butterflies in my belly at the thought of being back in Los Angeles and back with Tate.

  God, I missed him, and fuck, I’d been stubborn. I was taking out bitch-face Chelsea on him and he didn’t deserve that. I was a bitch and that’s all I could be called.

  From: Savannah Rae

  To: Tate Connors

  Time: 11.00pm AEST

  Subject: HI

  Tate,

  I know you will be sleeping but I needed to send you an email. I am so sorry that my frustration about the whole Chelsea situation got to me. It was stupid of me to let her barge in and take over our world again and for that I apologise. Tanzi told me the other night that she is starting to retract what she said. Does that mean the case will not move forward?

  Today we got word that Mr. Davenport can finally leave the hospital. The doctors say that his recovery has shocked them because it’s been so quick. Three weeks is unheard of. I feel like he is finally back to his usual self and the fact that he called me a drama queen this morning and has been calling me stubborn all day tells me that. He will be released tomorrow and I am bringing him back to his apartment and we are now waiting for final confirmation that he can fly.

  I am so ready to come home, Tate. I want to come home. I need to come home.

  I miss you.

  Savannah x

  Pressing send, I sighed deeply, shoved my phone deep inside my bag, and turned my attention back to the television. My bag vibrated on my lap at an incoming text message. Pulling my phone back out of my bag, I saw Tate’s name flash on the screen. The five words on the screen made my heart ache and roar at the same time.

  Come back to me Sav

  Tate

  Three months later

  SAVANNAH WANTED to come home.

  Every time I talked to her she would tell me that she was ready to come home, and every time I received an email she would make sure I knew. But still I was waiting on the other side of the world for them to come back to me.

  Now, as I sat on the balcony as the sun set over the pacific at the start of our third month separated, I read her most recent text message over and over again, desperate for my mind to believe them. I was reading the words but they weren’t sinking in. I saw the words, but why did I feel like she would just be coming for a visit?

  The false accusations from Chelsea had done a number on Sav and me, and the moment I had to cancel my trip and spend countless hours with my lawyer trying to end the nightmare of tornado Chelsea, something had shifted between us. Sav was frustrated, and I knew hearing that Chelsea had weaseled her way back into our lives had taken Sav back to a place I’d never wanted her to revisit.

  Through the craziness, I did have something to celebrate though. Tomorrow we were celebrating Tanzi and Jack’s engagement party and today I had decided to man up and spend the day with Tanzi, helping her organize the last few things. I busied myself annoying Tanzi with requests of what I could do to help. Fuck, I even went with her to get her nails done. Whatever she needed I would give her. She worked me like a pack mule though, and Jack soon joined me on the balcony with a huff.

  “Your sister is running me ragged.”

  I raised my eyebrow in warning.

  “Not like that, asshole. She is making me help choose what to wear tomorrow. Where the fuck is Savannah when you need her?” He laughed quickly before his face dropped. Sav and Max’s absence wasn’t just affecting me. I knew Jack missed his partner-in-crime, and Tanzi wasn’t her usual self without her self-proclaimed BFFL—best friend for life.

  “So I got another text message from Sav this morning,” I admitted with a slight frown,

  “And?” he asked excitedly.

  “She told me she wants to come home but something feels different about this message.”

  “What? When? And why the fuck would you have that look on your face?” Jack’s shocked expression narrowed in at me. I turned quickly, looked back towards the beach, and sighed deeply.

  “I am trying really fucking hard not to feel anything about this u
ntil Max is standing in front of me. I can’t allow myself the risk of getting excited for something that probably won’t even happen.”

  “You are such a fucking girl. Get excited, you asshole! Your girl wants to come home. Your little boy is coming home. Scream the shit out of this.”

  “The longer she is away, the more I realize what this means. What’s to say that she won’t follow Mr. Davenport everywhere he goes? What’s to say that one day he will up and leave and she will follow?” I admitted, knowing full well that he wouldn’t let me off the hook if I didn’t start speaking. Seriously, we chatted like a couple of chicks most days.

  “You and Sav need to talk about this. Only you two have the ability to want to be together or not. I know for a fact that she is still totally into the whole Tate and Sav thing. She loves you, man. Don’t fuck it up with your insecurities. Tell her how you feel. Tell her that you have this fear. You don’t want to lose that girl. You’d be fucking hell to live with if you did.”

  I rubbed my hands over my face in frustration. These exact questions had been haunting me for the past month. I trusted Savannah wholeheartedly, but the fear that I would never truly have her became more apparent with every day that passed. Knowing that they would be back in Los Angeles excited me beyond belief, but it also frightened me.

  “I can’t believe Tanzi said yes to your proposal. You are like some fucking wannabe Doctor Phil,” I taunted, popping the tops off two beers and thrusting one into his hand while his words swirled around my head.

  “What can I say? I’m good in the sack, damn good to look at, and I know my way around words. I am fucking god’s gift to women.”

  Looking at my best friend and now future brother-in-law, I rolled my eyes dramatically and called him a few choice names. But truth be told, I was as happy as a pig in shit that he’d finally proposed. It had been long overdue. Jack had been planning his proposal for months, right down to the intricate details to the point that Tanzi had thought he had been cheating on him because he was being so sketchy. I had been with him when he bought the perfect ring for Tanzi, I had been there when I heard the shriek of excitement when Tanzi said yes, and unfortunately I had been there when I walked in on them celebrating their engagement on the kitchen table.