Myself and I

by Earl Sewell

  I giggled hard, which I didn’t intend to do, but I couldn’t help it. “I’d love to come,” I said as I rested my head against the back of the lawn chair.

  “Give me your cell phone number so I can plug it into my phone,” he requested as he removed his iPhone from its holster. I gave Jerry my number and watched as he programmed it in.

  “By the way, I heard about how you saved that girl’s life. That was pretty cool.”

  “Hey, I was just doing my job.” I downplayed the incident.

  “Well, you did one hell of a job, baby,” Jerry said, leaning in once again for a second kiss. “Oh, I like the way your lips feel,” he said, leaning in once more.

  “That makes two of us,” I said as I heard a car horn.

  “That would be my brother.” Jerry stood. “I’ll give you a call later, okay?”

  “Sure. See you soon,” I said as Jerry exited the pool deck.

  A few hours later, the sunny sky gave way to some dark storm clouds, and off in the distance I heard the rumble of thunder. I knew it wouldn’t be long before the storm would hit and Maya and I would have to close the pool.

  Just as it began to sprinkle, Wesley arrived at the swimming pool with an arrangement of flowers.

  “Hello, Wesley,” I said as I began to gather up my belongings before everything got soaking wet.

  “I got some flowers for you, Keysha.” He tried to hand them to me just as the sky opened completely up and began raining in hard sheets.

  “Ahh!” I instinctively squealed as I rushed into the clubhouse. Wesley trailed behind me and once he was inside, he closed the patio door so we wouldn’t get any wetter.

  “Come on, let’s go over by the fireplace. There’s a sofa over there,” I said, leading Wesley around. “Wait right here while I go to my locker and get an extra towel.” I went into the ladies’ locker room and retrieved an extra beach towel that I’d stored there. When I returned, Wesley was looking out of one of the sliding glass doors at the intensity of the falling rain.

  “Here you go,” I said, handing him the towel. Wesley took it and dried himself off.

  “Aww, my flowers got crushed,” I said as I picked them up off the floor.

  “Oh damn, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I’d dropped them,” Wesley said apologetically.

  “It’s okay, they don’t look too bad,” I said, trying to spruce them up. “Why did you buy me these, anyway?”

  “Just because,” Wesley answered. I gave him a suspicious look, because I knew there had to be a reason behind this.

  “I don’t feel like any more drama out of that crazy girlfriend of yours,” I said, placing the flowers on a nearby end table. I then sat down on the tan sofa.

  “She’s more than I can handle sometimes,” Wesley admitted.

  “Wesley, why do you allow Lori to disrespect you and treat you like crap? I feel as if you’ve changed your entire personality just to be with someone who doesn’t truly care about you.”

  Wesley shrugged as if he were at a complete loss as to why he was putting up with her demanding and possessive ways. “I think you may be depressed or something,” I spoke honestly.

  “I don’t know, I might be,” he said, sitting down next to me. “I’ve just got a lot of issues I’m trying to deal with.”

  “Well, have you talked with your father about your problems? He seems like a really understanding and easy-to-talk-to man,” I said.

  “I can’t talk to my dad about what’s going on. It would just tear him apart,” Wesley admitted.

  “I think it would tear him apart to see you like this and not get additional help,” I said. “You’re so much smarter than the people you’re hanging around, Wesley.”

  “I think I’m sick, Keysha,” Wesley said, wincing.

  I leaned in and sniffed him to see if I could smell a hint of booze. “Are you about to vomit or something, Wesley?”

  “No. I just don’t know if the alcohol is causing the burning sensation or if it’s something else,” Wesley muttered.

  “Burning sensation? What are you talking about, boy?” I turned my head sideways and looked at him strangely. “Never mind, it’s probably nothing and it’ll go away in time,” Wesley continued babbling.

  “You’re not making any sense, Wesley,” I said, trying to figure out what he was mumbling about.

  “Just forget it, Keysha.” Wesley paused in thought. “I’ve heard about this party that these guys named Erin and Jerry are throwing in a few weeks and I wanted to know if you’d go with me. Not on a date or anything, but as friends.”

  “Wesley, you’re dating Lori, or have you forgotten?” I reminded him.

  “I’m going to break up with her,” he said.

  I frowned. “Dude, if you do that and then show up at a party with me and Lori finds out, things are going to get complicated. She and I already came pretty close to an all-out fistfight.” I jogged his memory.

  “I’ll protect you,” he said.

  “Wesley, how are you going to protect me when you can’t even stand up to the girl? Let me give you a good piece of advice. Girls don’t like guys that they can run over.”

  “I’m just trying to keep the peace with her, that’s all.” Wesley offered up a weak rationale for accepting her abuse.

  “You know what your problem is?” I asked.

  “No, what?”

  I hesitated so I could select the right words to express my thoughts clearly. “Okay, it’s like this, Wesley.” I turned my body to face him.

  “Wesley, you like to rescue girls in distress. I believe your desire to help troubled women comes from your inability to save your mother from her alcohol addiction. So you unconsciously seek out girls you can save. When they no longer need you, you feel like you’ve lost something. Working here at the swimming pool gives me a lot of peace and time to reflect. I’ve thought about our broken relationship a lot and I truly believe the only reason you got involved with me is because I needed help. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that helping me was a bad thing, because I truly appreciated you risking your life to save me. But I don’t need you to rescue me anymore. I think that when I no longer needed you in that way, you got bored and knowingly or unknowingly chose to involve yourself in Lori’s life.”

  “Keysha—” Wesley interrupted me.

  “No, Wesley, I need you to listen. Now that Lori’s safe and out of danger you’re once again at a loss. Only this time, you’ve rescued a real lunatic who has flipped the script on you. I think you thought she was going to be forever grateful to you and she’s nothing like that. She’s bossy and very sneaky.” I paused.

  “Wesley, you’re too nice when it comes to dealing with Lori. You need to toughen up some. You also need to find the thug within you and get your swagger back and beat your dependency on alcohol once and for all,” I said.

  “You know I’m not a thug, Keysha,” Wesley whispered softly. “That’s not a good look for me.”

  “Neither is being steamrollered by some loud-mouth control freak,” I said.

  “So you’re really not going to go with me to this party?” With that statement, Wesley got on my nerves, and I felt as if everything I’d just said had gone in one ear and out the other. I jerked my head back, exhaled my aggravation and flung my arms in the air, then allowed them to flop back down.

  “No. I’m going with Jerry, okay? I’m dating someone else now, Wesley. I’ve moved on, don’t you get it?” For the first time I spoke to him as if he were a complete idiot. I didn’t like degrading him, but it seemed to be the only thing he understood these days.

  “I need a drink,” he said, rising to his feet.

  I turned my lips down into a frown. “You need a drink like you need a hole in your head,” I said angrily.

  Wesley placed his face in his palms and then slowly dragged them downward. “I’m out of here. I don’t need you riding my back right now!” I could tell immediately by the slump in his shoulders and the tone of his voice that the tru
th of my words had wounded him. Wesley didn’t say anything else; he just walked out the door and into the pouring rain.

  Maya and I were off from work and stood on the corner bus stop waiting. We’d decided to spend our day shopping at a huge street festival on State Street downtown. The night before, we’d talked on the phone and planned out exactly how we were going to spend our time. We’d find a nice café and have brunch together before heading over to where the street vendors were. We’d scrounge around looking for good deals on clothes, makeup, jewelry and anything else that we’d find interesting.

  “I hope they have some nice-smelling perfume on sale,” Maya said as she glanced down the street to see if she could spot a bus coming.

  “Girl, I can’t wait until next year when I get my driver’s license,” I said, wishing I had the type of freedom and independence that a car offered.

  “That makes two of us,” Maya added.

  “I don’t have any set list of items I’m going to be shopping for. I’m just going to play it by ear. If I see something I like I’m going to get it,” I said, deciding to sit down on the bench. Maya sat beside me and pulled out her cell phone and fiddled with it. I glanced down the street in search of the bus, but instead I saw trouble approaching.

  “Look who’s coming this way,” I said, nudging Maya.

  “Well, if it isn’t Miss Loud Mouth herself,” Maya said. “Maybe she’ll just keep walking without saying a word.”

  “We can only hope,” I said jokingly. A few seconds later Lori was standing in front of us chewing her gum like a horse chews hay.

  “I’ve got a bone to pick with you,” she said brazenly as she folded her arms across her chest.

  “I don’t have anything to say, Lori,” I responded, hoping she’d just keep moving.

  “But I’ve got something to say to you. In fact, I’m glad I’ve run into you out here because I was on my way to your job.”

  “Lori, why don’t you just get a—” Before I could finish my sentence, Lori lunged toward me and slapped my face and began tugging on my hair. I stood and yanked my head away from her claws before she got a chance to get a good grip.

  “I’ve told you a hundred times to leave Wesley alone, but you keep on messing with his head and confusing him,” Lori shouted.

  “Oh, it’s on now! I’m going to give you everything you got coming. Maya, hold my purse,” I said as I knuckled up my fists and swung at Lori. My first swing missed the mark. She swung back and scratched the side of my face. I lunged toward her and was able to get her in a headlock. I squeezed as hard as I could with my arm and punched her in the face several times with my left fist.

  “Kick her ass, Keysha!” Maya screamed, encouraging me to continue. Lori wasn’t much of a challenge at all. After the first punch her knees buckled and she fell to the ground.

  “Okay, Keysha, that’s enough! She’s done,” Maya said, pulling me off of her. I got in one last good punch before I let her go. Maya pushed me away from her and kept repeating that it was over and I’d won. Lori staggered to her feet and sucked on her bottom lip, which was split open.

  “You want some more?” I taunted her.

  “This ain’t over, Keysha!” Lori threatened, but I wasn’t afraid of her at all, especially now that I knew she couldn’t fight.

  “Just let it go, Keysha,” Maya said.

  “I can’t believe she came at me like that. What in the world is wrong with her? That chick is straight-up crazy,” I said. Lori ran across the street and down a residential block.

  “Let me see your face,” Maya said. “Ooh, she scratched you pretty good,” she said, opening up her purse to get a tissue.

  “Did she break the skin?” I asked, feeling the stinging start to settle in.

  “Yeah, she did, but it’s not too bad,” Maya said.

  “What about my hair? She didn’t pull out any braids, did she?”

  “No.” Maya applied pressure to the slightly bleeding area on my face. “Well, maybe now she’ll think twice before deciding to scrap with you,” Maya said, trying to find a bright spot.

  “All the swimming I’ve been doing paid off, because I was nowhere near tired and felt strong enough to pick her up like a wrestler and body-slam her. Why would she come and pick a fight when she’s outnumbered?” I asked, searching for some logical explanation for Lori’s perplexing behavior.

  “Who knows what’s going on in that crazy head of hers? I personally think she’s emotionally unbalanced or something.” Maya took a closer look at my face. “It’s not as deep as I thought it was, but we don’t have to go downtown now if you don’t want to.”

  “Are you kidding me? I’m not about to allow that tramp to ruin my day. Do you have a compact mirror?” I asked.

  “Yeah.” Maya opened her purse and handed it to me. I looked at my face and saw where she’d clawed me along the side of my eye and down my cheek.

  “That’s nothing, Maya,” I said. “It’s just a superficial scratch.”

  “I said it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was,” Maya said. “I think I see the bus coming now. Are you sure you still want to go?” she asked.

  I quickly nodded. “I’m positive. Thanks for having my back,” I said.

  “Not a problem. I know you’d do the same for me,” she said.

  I gathered myself and straightened out my clothes. Within a few seconds the bus arrived, and we boarded it.

  fifteen

  On Thursday I had to work the evening shift, which meant that I didn’t arrive home until nine. When I entered the house, I kicked my shoes off at the door and walked up the steps into the family room. Jordan was slouched down and asleep on the sofa with the television remote in his hand. The early edition of the evening news was about to begin, so I decided to sit down and watch it so I could hear the weather forecast.

  The newscaster babbled on about a number of topics. An earthquake on the other side of the world. Nuclear weapons in North Korea. The costly wars of Iraq and Afghanistan. The nation’s struggling economy and the numbers of layoffs still happening around the country. I walked over to Jordan and took the remote. I sat back down and channel surfed for the weather channel. I stopped at VH1 briefly and watched a music video by Coldplay. I finally hit the weather channel. On Friday it was going to be sunny and in the high eighties.

  “Perfect,” I said aloud. “That’s the best news I’ve heard.”

  Erin and Jerry had decided to move the day of the party from Saturday night to Friday during the day. Jerry explained that it would be a better time to have it because neighbors and parents would be at work, and if the music got too loud there would be no one around to complain about it. For me this meant that I wouldn’t get a ton of questions from Jordan and Barbara about attending an unsupervised party.

  “Hey, I didn’t hear you come in,” Jordan said, awaking from his deep slumber.

  “I just got here,” I said.

  “Why didn’t you call me? I would’ve come and picked you up,” he said.

  “I just jumped on the bus because it was pulling up as I locked the door,” I explained.

  “Still, you could’ve called me to let me know you were on the bus so I’d be watching out for you. There are a lot of crazy people in this world, and just because you live out here in the suburbs I don’t want you to get a false sense of security.” Jordan continued to press the issue.

  “Well, when I get a car you won’t have to worry so much,” I said, trying to make him feel more comfortable.

  “Are you kidding me? Once you and Mike start driving I’ll be even more concerned because the potential for something bad to happen increases.”

  “Daddy.” I moved over and snuggled up next to him. “I think I’ve demonstrated pretty well that I can handle serious situations. Besides, if anyone walks up on me they’d better be ready for a fight, because the hood Keysha will come out in a minute,” I said, laughing.

  “That’s nice, but sometimes being hood may not be enough.” Jordan curl
ed his fingers like quotation marks to emphasize his point.

  “Okay, I’ll call to check in more often,” I said, not wanting to drag out the conversation longer than necessary.

  “Where’s Barbara?” I asked.

  “At a village board meeting. She should be home in a little while,” Jordan said.

  “Oh, I heard that you’re getting your car back.”

  “Yeah, I am. Lord only knows what condition it’s going to be in,” he said with a mixture of anticipation and dread.

  “Maybe it won’t be all that bad,” I said in an effort to give him a little more hope.

  “Perhaps.” Jordan held out his hand for the television remote. He flipped back to the news channel just in time to catch a sports story about the Chicago Cubs.

  “Well, I’m going to bed,” I said as I gave him a good-night kiss on the cheek.

  “Love you,” he said as I walked away.

  “Love you, too, Dad,” I answered as I walked upstairs to my room.

  I must’ve been more exhausted than I’d thought, because I slept most of the morning away. When I opened my eyes and glanced over at my alarm clock it was eleven-thirty. I sat up and allowed my eyes to adjust to the brightness before I stretched and yawned simultaneously. I picked up my cell phone. I had a text message from Jerry. I flipped my phone open and read it.

  “Can’t wait 2 C U,” it said.

  I walked into the bathroom to freshen up. When I came out I walked down the corridor to Mike’s bedroom. I found him admiring himself in the mirror while splashing on too much cologne. He had his entire room smelling like Axe body spray.

  “What’s going on, sleepyhead?” Mike asked me as he wet his fingertips and brushed a thin line of upper lip hair.

  “You know if you keep rubbing it like that it’s going to fall out,” I teased.

  “No, it’s not. My mustache is going to come in nice and full,” he said as he lifted his chin to see if he’d sprouted any new growth. “Don’t hate the player, Keysha, hate the game.”