Myself and I

by Earl Sewell

  Finally, Crane and Rosati walked back into the room with a folder, a pad and a pen to write with. They sat down across from me.

  “Now, Keysha, we’ve already started recording this so that there is no room for error,” explained Detective Crane. “You can make this easier on yourself by telling the truth about what happened.”

  “Easier on myself, how? I didn’t do anything,” I explained to them once more.

  “Keysha, we have two eyewitnesses who say that you’re the one who brought the spray cans to the party and gathered up a bunch of people to break into the empty house next door.” At that point I began laughing and thought they were truly joking.

  “Okay, is this some kind of prank my brother Mike is trying to pull?” I said, looking back at the two-way mirror. “This isn’t funny, Mike.”

  “Keysha, we are not joking,” Detective Rosati said with a grim look on his face.

  “Then the joke is on you two, because someone has lied to you,” I said, knowing that my words were the truth.

  “Keysha, you’ve already admitted that you were at the party. So that places you at the scene of the crime,” said Detective Crane.

  “That doesn’t mean that I committed a crime. I watch those cop shows, you know? This is a bunch of bull! I don’t know who you’ve been talking to, but they are both liars! Just ask Jerry, he’ll tell you.”

  “We did ask him, and he said that he’d left you for a period of time and didn’t know where you were,” said Detective Crane.

  “What! That bastard!” I slapped the palm of my hand down on the table. “We were in his bedroom making out when his friend Carlos came and got him. Carlos told him that some boys had shown up with some dogs to fight with. Then Jerry left to go put the boys out.”

  “Yes, he told us that. He also said that he asked you to wait in his bedroom, but when he returned, you weren’t there,” said Detective Rosati as he thumped his index finger on the table.

  “That’s because all hell was about to break loose and—”

  “That’s when you decided to leave the room and go join in on the fun.” Detective Rosati was trying to put words in my mouth.

  “No!” I snapped at him. “That’s when I decided to go home.”

  “You’re the one who’s lying to us, Keysha. Your version of events don’t match the eyewitnesses who’ve come forward.”

  “Who are these eyewitnesses? Have you checked their—” I stopped talking as I thought about who’d slander my name. “Lori and Priscilla,” I said their names out loud, then looked at the two officers. They both had a different look on their faces when I said the names.

  “First of all, Lori is a total nutcase, and Priscilla, although she can’t stand my guts, wasn’t even there as far as I know. I mean, she could’ve shown up, but I didn’t see her.”

  “So you’re sticking to your story that you had nothing to do with it?” asked Detective Crane.

  “Yes, and as far as I’m concerned I’d like to call my daddy so he can come get me. This is all a frame-up!”

  “This appears to be the third time you’ve claimed to have been framed, Keysha. I’m not convinced that you’re innocent. I’ve looked up our files on you. You’ve been picked up before for allegedly selling Ecstasy.”

  “Those charges were dropped!” I quickly said.

  “Then the Chicago police picked you up in a stolen car,” Detective Rosati continued.

  “That wasn’t a stolen car, technically,” I said.

  “And now this. Here’s what I believe. I think that you’re guilty of all of these crimes but have been slipping through the cracks on technicalities. But you’re not going to get off this time, young lady.” Detective Rosati was an evil bastard who was hell-bent on seeing me go down.

  “I want my one phone call,” I said with a trembling voice. In the back of my mind I began to think about all of the news stories I’d heard about corrupt cops framing innocent people and sending them to jail for crimes they didn’t commit. Or beating a confession out of a detainee for something they were innocent of. Detectives Rosati and Crane fit the mold for bad cops, at least in my mind they did.

  “Fine!” Rosati slammed his fist in anger on the table. I flinched, because the guy looked as if he was about to totally lose it.

  Jordan wasn’t happy that I’d gotten picked up by the police. When he arrived about an hour later I felt numb. They released me into his custody and I immediately hugged him, but he didn’t return the affection. His body was cold and uninviting, and he didn’t wrap his strong arms around me. I smashed my cheek into his chest hard and held on tighter because I wanted to be held. I wanted to feel safe and secure, but at the moment hugging Jordan was not comforting at all.

  When we got into the car, he fired it up and drove off. Neither one of us said a word for a long time, until he finally broke the silence.

  “I’m at the end of my rope with you, Keysha. I just don’t know how much more I can take. Reform school or a behavior-modification program out in the wilderness may be your last hope. Perhaps a time spent out in the open country will help you understand yourself and life.”

  “You don’t believe that I’m innocent?” I asked tearfully.

  “I don’t know. What I do know is that you’ve only lived with me for a year and you’ve had three run-ins with the law. You’ve pushed me to the brink, Keysha, and now it’s time for me to give you some tough love.”

  twenty

  I was fired from my job. Park District officials learned of my arrest and how I’d left the swimming pool unattended without calling it in. These were the reasons given for my termination. As much as I tried to explain how I had no choice, it didn’t erase the fact that I’d left the pool unattended. My life was a disaster, all because of some lie that Lori and Priscilla had made up. When I called Maya to talk about it I was completely depressed and wanted to kill myself by overdosing on pills or something. I just wanted the pain in my heart to end.

  “You have to fight back, Keysha. You can’t let those tramps ruin your life!” Maya said to me on the phone.

  “What am I supposed to do, Maya? The last thing I want to do right now is something foolish that’s going to get me into even deeper trouble.”

  “I don’t know. I have to think of something. Damn, I wish my leg wasn’t messed up or I’d track down both Priscilla and Lori for you and kick their asses myself.”

  “Thanks for the offer, but I don’t think a beat down will fix this,” I said solemnly.

  “There has to be something we can do,” Maya said, not wanting to give up.

  “Die,” I said. “That’s the only way out of this mess.”

  “Keysha, I don’t like the way you’re talking,” Maya quickly said.

  “It’s the way I feel though. Nothing will ever go right for me.”

  “That’s not true. You won the role in the school play, you passed your lifeguard-certification class, and you’re my best friend. Things do go right for you.” Maya tried to convince me that my life was worth living.

  “Have you called Jerry to see if he’ll help?”

  “I’ve left him messages, but he hasn’t returned my phone calls.”

  “Give me his phone number and I’ll do a three-way,” Maya said. I gave her his number. She clicked over to an open line and dialed the number I’d given her. She clicked back as his phone began to ring.

  “Are you there, Keysha?” she asked.

  “Yes,” I muttered.

  “You be quiet while I talk to him,” Maya said.

  “He’s not going to answer,” I said, pretty sure that he was going to ignore the call.

  “Hello.” I heard Jerry’s voice and was surprised. I remained silent and listened.

  “Jerry?” Maya said.

  “Yeah, who is this?” he asked.

  “It’s Maya. Keysha’s friend.”

  “Oh. How are you doing? I heard about your leg and stuff,” he said apologetically.

  “I’ll be fine. I’ll ju
st be hobbling around for a little while,” Maya said, attempting to put him at ease with a little humor.

  “How are you doing?” Maya asked.

  “I’ve seen better days,” he admitted.

  “I think we both have.” Maya paused. “Listen, have you heard from Keysha?”

  “I got a bunch of voice mails from her, but I haven’t called her back,” he said.

  “Why not?”

  “Because I heard she’s in a lot of trouble and I’ve got enough trouble of my own to deal with.” I rolled my eyes when I heard him say that.

  “What did you hear?” Maya asked.

  “A bunch of stuff.” Jerry was being vague.

  “Like what?” I could tell Maya was getting annoyed with him.

  “That she like broke into the house next door with a bunch of gangbangers she knew and sprayed graffiti all over the place.”

  “Does that even sound like Keysha to you?” Maya asked. I couldn’t believe he was going to go along with that type of stupidity.

  “I don’t know what it sounds like, that’s just what I heard.” He got defensive.

  “Well, why wouldn’t you want to talk to her and find out the truth?” Maya asked an obvious question.

  “I told you. I’ve got problems of my own. The police have issued me and my brother court dates for throwing the party and serving alcohol and drugs to minors. Girl, I’ve got enough drama of my own and I certainly don’t need Keysha’s drama added to it.”

  “You’re a real bastard, Jerry!” I couldn’t contain my emotions any longer. I had to let him know what a jerk he was.

  “Why are y’all playing on the phone? Keysha, is that you?” he asked.

  “Hell, yes, it’s me. I can’t believe you just said all that. When have you ever known me to be around gangbangers, huh?”

  “Look, that’s just what I heard. I didn’t believe it.” He tried to clean up what he’d said.

  “You and I sat in your room having a make-out session and you mean to tell me that you couldn’t take two seconds to call me just to see how I was doing, knowing that that type of malicious rumor was going around?”

  “I’m sorry about that, but a lot has been going on in my life.” He raised his voice at me.

  “Well, I’ve been going through a lot, too, and even though my life has been a living hell I still took the time to call you and leave messages.” I wanted him to know that regardless of what was going on with me, he was still in my thoughts, which was much more than he could say.

  “Look, I said I was sorry, but I wasn’t even thinking about you and your drama because—”

  I interrupted him. “You know what, Jerry? Just put the shut to the up! I thought I would be able to get you to help clear my name, but it’s obvious that you’re too busy trying to save your own ass to worry about mine.”

  “I did try to clear your name with the police when they asked questions about you, but they didn’t want to hear it because they were more interested in nailing my ass to a cross.”

  “Whatever, Jerry!” I didn’t want to hear his lame excuse.

  “Oh, that’s how you want to play it?” Jerry asked angrily. “I don’t need this crap from you.” He hung up.

  “Wow!” Maya said. “I can’t believe he didn’t try to return your calls. I mean, he could’ve sent you a text message. Honestly, how long would that have taken?”

  “It is what it is, Maya. Just another example of why things don’t go right for me,” I said, feeling tears welling up.

  “Don’t cry. I can hear the crack in your voice,” Maya said.

  “I can’t help it. Nobody believes me and no one wants to help me,” I said.

  “Have you called your grandmother Katie?” Maya asked.

  “No.”

  “Does she know what’s going on?”

  “She might. But I don’t want to burden her with this. I just want it to all be over,” I said exhaling loudly.

  I heard Maya pop her fingers. “I’ve got it.”

  “Got what?” I asked.

  “What we have to do is get Lori to see how wrong she is,” Maya said.

  “Lori doesn’t give a frog’s fat ass about the truth,” I reminded her.

  “There has to be some way to turn the tables around on her.” Maya was still searching for a solution.

  “She’s doing this because I kicked her butt and she thinks that I caused Wesley to break up with—” I stopped talking and slapped my forehead with my hand several times. “Wesley! Why didn’t I think of him? Wesley may be able to help me like he did the last time I was in trouble.”

  “Do you think he’ll help you?” Maya asked.

  “Of course he will. Wesley loves to rescue girls when they’re in trouble. That’s just how he is,” I said, feeling good about soliciting his help.

  “Where is Wesley at these days?” Maya asked.

  “I saw him briefly at the party, but then he left,” I explained.

  “We’ll call him,” Maya suggested.

  “Hang on, and I’ll do another three-way call,” I said. I clicked over to an open line, dialed Wesley’s phone number, and clicked back over to Maya. His phone rang continuously before a recording came on that said the number had been disconnected.

  “Oh, wow,” Maya said. “Do you have any idea why his phone is disconnected or how to reach him?”

  “No,” I answered as I thought about what I should do. “Ed Daley,” I blurted.

  “Ed Daley? What does he have to do with anything?” Maya asked.

  “He’ll know where Wesley is and how to contact him,” I said.

  “The question is, will he tell you?” Maya asked.

  “Who, Ed? He’ll talk. All I need to do is offer him some cash for a little booze and he’ll start chirping like a bird after a fresh rain.”

  Maya laughed. “Well, you still have your sense of humor.”

  “It may be the only thing I have left.” At that moment I heard Barbara calling my name. “Let me get off this phone. I’m being summoned.”

  “Okay, I’m here if you need me,” she said.

  “I know.”

  I wasn’t able to catch up with Ed Daley until the following day. Initially, he didn’t want to give me any information on Wesley’s whereabouts, but it didn’t take much to bribe him.

  I learned that Wesley had checked himself into a rehab facility on the other side of town. It was the type of place where you went and stayed for several weeks and had limited contact with your friends. Since the place was about an hour away and I didn’t have a driver’s license or access to a car, I took a page from Jordan’s book by paying a flat fee for a car service. I had the driver pick me up in front of the park district swimming pool so I wouldn’t get a bunch of questions from Jordan and Barbara, who were not happy about having to deal with another legal case.

  Like clockwork the driver picked me up and drove me to the address I’d given him. I asked him to wait while I went in to see Wesley. I’d phoned earlier to find out about the visitation policy and scheduled my impromptu appearance accordingly. I walked up to the reception desk and told the woman there who I’d come to see.

  “Wesley Morris doesn’t have anyone scheduled to visit him today, and the only person authorized to see him is his father,” said the overweight, middle-aged woman, who looked as if her lips hadn’t cracked a smile since she was a teething toddler.

  I quickly thought of a lie that would get me past this bulldog of a woman. “Umm, yes I tried to call late last night with some upsetting news, but I was unable to reach anyone. I’m his cousin, and his grandmother has passed away. His father is an emotional wreck right now, so I volunteered to come tell Wesley.” I thought what I’d said was pretty good.

  “Why didn’t you just call this morning?” she asked suspiciously.

  I decided to ignore the reasonable question by getting ugly with her. “Look, his father paid a lot of money for that limo driver out there.” I pointed to the car. The woman leaned forward a
nd glanced at it. “He wanted me to come and tell Wesley personally and bring him back if need be, but he knows that Wesley has a drinking problem and thought that this was the best way to deal with this. Now what’s the dang problem?” I snapped. She still looked at me as if she didn’t believe a word I said but decided to allow me to see him just in case my story was factual.

  “Have a seat over there.” She pointed to a bench seat positioned against the wall behind me. “I’ll have him escorted down to the visitor’s room.” Twenty minutes later, I was asked to follow another worker through a series of doors. I had to leave my purse at a security desk, get searched and then walked through a metal detector to make sure that I wasn’t bringing in any drugs. Once I was cleared, I was escorted to a room where Wesley was sitting down and waiting on me. When I walked in he looked surprised.

  “Keysha, what are you doing here and how did you get in?” he asked.

  “Shhh, don’t talk so loud. They think I’m here to deliver you some bad news about your grandmother dying. So look sad and upset. The fat lady at the front desk told the guard to keep an eye on me.”

  “Keysha.” Wesley was acting as if he wasn’t going to play along.

  “Do it. Please,” I said through gritted teeth. Wesley reluctantly played along and I placed my hands on top of his and behaved as if I were consoling him. I glanced over my shoulder through a glass door and noticed that the guard seemed satisfied that my story about the dead grandmother was true. He stepped away out of view.

  “Okay, the guard is gone. How are you doing?” I asked.

  “I’m getting the medical attention that I need,” he replied.

  “Have you been thinking about me at all?” I asked, smiling at him.