Crumbling Walls (Jack and Emily #1)

by Laura Strandt

  He laughed as he remembered that day. They’d all been in a particularly odd mood and had piled onto the couch with Emily and Jack. Sam had wiggled between them and suddenly, all the feet were together on the table. Will had laughed and found the camera for them, amused by the whole image.

  It had to be their art assignment for class and it made him warm inside to know that Emily thought of them as her family. Showing it to Jack, “Hey, look at this.”

  Taking in the picture, “I’d forgotten that day.” After sorting through the pile of supplies, he found a copy of the picture, along with the one of her mom, “I thought she’d be doing her mom, not us.”

  Tim, who had heard the story of their trip in the last hour, had a flash of what might be called insightfulness, “Maybe she had to find her mom to ask if it was alright that we’re her family now?”

  Jack stared at both images for a minute before sliding the pictures into one of Emily’s books for safe keeping and, handing Tim the finished drawing, “I’m glad she found the answer she did.”

  ▪▪▪

  Soon Jack was pulling the door shut behind them with a satisfied bang. Breathing as deep as his bruised body would let him, the cold rush of air made him woozy and the world spun, “Tim?”

  Making a grab for Jack’s arm, he caught him before he hit the ground. Helping Jack to the van, Tim got him into the front seat, “You okay?”

  Jack nodded, “Yeah, just … I think I need to lay down again.”

  “You sure you’re okay? You look awfully pale, even for you.”

  Jack nodded, “I just need to get out of here.”

  By the time Tim and Elizabeth finished unloading the car and carrying the crates up to what was now Emily's room, they were exhausted. Elizabeth went to take a short nap in her room while Jack, already on his bed, watched through half-closed eyes as Tim came into their room. Dropping down on his own bed, the two brothers slept for the second to last time in the same room.

  ▪▪▪

  Shortly after Elizabeth left to go home, one of the nurses came in and helped Emily wash up a little. The cast was cumbersome, her broken ribs made her wince with every move and her face ached, even with the mild painkiller she'd been given, but soon, she was as clean as she was going to get and feeling better than she had all day. The nurse left her alone after that, returning only once to bring the pad of paper and pencil Emily had quietly asked if she could borrow.

  And then, she slowly and carefully began teaching her left hand how to draw.

  The next few hours passed quickly and, by lunch time, she’d begun to feel somewhat happy with her progress. Even if her lines would probably never be perfectly straight, she could do it and that made her smile.

  About to stretch out for a nap, she heard the door open and, looking up, she wasn't as shocked as she ought to be to see Dex crouched down and holding his finger to his lips, “Shhhh.”

  Whispering back, “I can have visitors.”

  “But I'm supposed to be with an adult, so I snuck in. Ninja moves all the way down the hall.” Standing upright, his back cracking as he did so, “Damn, you do not look good right now.”

  Wincing her way to a half-smile, “I figured as much, but thanks for pointing it out.”

  “That's what I'm here for.”

  Feeling better already, “What are you doing here, anyways? Shouldn't you be in Government right about now?”

  “Government is too boring to stay for, especially today.”

  “Why today?”

  “It’s Tuesday. Tuesday's never a good day in Government.”

  About to comment, Emily stopped when the nurse came in, “How are you doing, Emily? Feeling any better?” She hesitated when she caught sight of Dex, who had gone rigid, then continued, “Who's your friend and why isn't he blinking?”

  “I'm pretty sure he thinks that if he doesn't move, you won't be able to see him and tell him to leave.”

  The nurse turned to him, “And why aren't you in school, young man?”

  His eyes darted to Emily, “She can see me, can't she?”

  "Yes, Dex, she can.”

  Coming back to life, “Damn it. One day, that's gonna work.” Giving the woman his most charming smile, “I have decided that my friend is more important than Government class and if you had Mr. Dillons you would completely agree with me and let me stay here for awhile out of pure sympathy.”

  She couldn't help it. She liked him instantly and nodding her head as she winked, “You were never here.”

  “Thanks, ma'am.”

  As she left, she pointed at him but looked at Emily, “I'd keep him if I were you.”

  “I plan on it.” Holding up two fingers on her left hand, waving them in his direction, “You’re gonna have at least this many detentions waiting for you when you get back, you know that, right?”

  “Naw. I’ll talk to Phil. We’ll get it straightened out.”

  Emily just shook her head, “Phil’s gonna run out of patience with you one day.”

  “Then I’ll just kick him in the shins and run like hell.” Coming over from his corner, he stopped at her mattress, “But enough about Phil because I have this total urge to hug you right now. Do you mind?”

  “Of course not … just … gently, please.”

  “Tim and Elizabeth warned me about all your broken,” waving his hand at her aimlessly, “stuff … so yell if I hurt anything.” Giving her a good hearty squeeze as lightly as possible, he then pulled a chair over, sitting down and propping his boots up on the frame of the bed. Next, he tilted his head slightly, his temple and cheek settling against his splayed fingers as he studied her for a long, quiet minute, which she dare not interrupt. He broke the heavy silence with a simple statement, “I never got to the conclusion that your father was the biggest asshole in history. I figured out most of the rest, but that … that threw me a little bit.”

  Emily could only stare at him, “What?”

  “I knew you were alone, well, you were either alone or your mother was practicing to be on an episode of 'Hoarders', one or the other.” Giving her a scrunched up set of eyebrows in response to her dumbfounded look, “You realize I never ask about your parents? I don't hassle you about letting me come over? That I believe the weird ass shit you tell me without question? Example, if your mom worked all the hours you tell people she does, you would live in a way better house and be able to buy clothes in an actual store.” He continued, seeing that she was digesting his insights better than expected, “There are hundreds of odd things that you do which, to the normal individual, would be inconsequential to their idea of you, but as you discovered very early on, I am not your normal, average, every day individual.”

  Swallowing hard, “No, definitely not.”

  Glad she was still listening without trying to argue, “But to me, each and every one of those 'oddities' added up to something bigger. And here's the real shocker that may quite literally knock you off your bed.”

  Somehow feeling just a little better inside, “What?”

  “The real shocker is, from the very beginning, I cared about you and not about all the extraneous shit. I believed you had your reasons and I respected them because somehow, for all your lies, you were the most sincere and awesome person I had ever met. I never once felt that you were lying to me because you wanted to; you seemed to be driven to do it with an all-consuming reluctant necessity. There was purpose behind your lying and you had absolutely no way around doing it.”

  Taking in all the past tenses on his side of the conversation, she breathed in deep, “But what do you think now?”

  “I think that I wish I'd been there to help Jack in the fight.” Moving forwards, he folded his arms on the mattress and propped his head up with his clasped hands, “And I think that I have never been more scared than when Tim told me you were in the hospital.”

  In a voice barely above a whisper, she had to repeat it to get the words all the way from her throat to his ears, “You still like me then?”
/>
  “God, I love you, idiot girl. Not like Jack does, with that sappy, 'oh, I want to kiss you and feed you popcorn and gaze into your brown eyes for hours' way. I'm pretty sure it's more the girly, pink, frilly 'you are my bestest best BFF friend ever and ever and ever and a few days after that’ kind of thing.”

  “My eyes are green.”

  He finally gave her a smile as he rubbed his mohawk across her hand, “Smart ass.”

  Petting him much like she did his family dog, “I love you, too, Dexter Dean Grenden.”

  Dex enjoyed the ruffling of his hair for a few more moments, then sat back up, “So, before we move onto happier, more proper afternoon conversation, can I ask, with all the lying you had to do to keep me as a friend, why did you keep me in the first place? How come you didn't run the hell away from me? If I were you, I'd have been reduced to thumb sucking and been scared of every person in the world, yet you befriended a dude on the other side of weird. You came to my house and put up with my family and all their craziness which, when you think about it, makes me the most normal one in that house.”

  “I have an answer for you, if you can believe it.”

  “I'll believe it.” Winking at her, “Just no more lies, okay?”

  Emily nodded as best she could, her headache bearing down on her, “Agreed. I liked you because you were so not normal. A 'normal' guy did this to me, my 'normal' school didn't pay enough attention, my 'normal' neighbors never wondered about me or, at least, wondered enough to ask. 'Normal' people are way more frightening to me than purple-haired, pierced ones with parents who used to work in the circus and now run a candy factory and work for Crayola. Annie is a professional fortune-cookie fortune writer who freelances as a tattoo designer. You people are all damn crazy and it's completely damn perfect for me.”

  “And Jack?”

  “Well, he and his family aren’t exactly normal either, are they?” He looked at her, smiled, then settled back in his chair, feet back on the bed. Her world made just a little more sense than it did ten minutes earlier, “Is that all you want to ask?”

  “For now … or maybe forever. Who knows? What I have come to understand is that I'm keeping you and that I'd like a nap.” He gave her a smirk, his eyebrow ring glinting under the diffused light, “I'd probably be asleep at school by now anyways.”

  Trying to get comfortable without putting pressure on the back of her head and her other various aches and breaks, “How awful is that chair?”

  After contemplating for a second, “actually, It's not too bad.”

  Emily closed her eyes, “Then I say we both get some sleep. My head has reached its explosive pounding point.”

  “Do you want me to go find somebody?”

  She smiled, “Go to sleep, Dex.”

  “G'night, Em.”

  “G'night.”

  ▪▪▪

  Dex disappeared about two hours later to get back in time for music and, once Emily woke from her nap, Elizabeth was back, sitting in one of the chairs reading her book.

  Elizabeth nodded at the stuffed saxophone next to Emily’s head, “Dex?”

  Finding that her headache had subsided some, she moved her bed so she was sitting up, “Yeah, he stopped by and must have come back with this after I fell asleep.” She picked it up, then looked at Elizabeth, her face serious, “Do you think we can talk the doctor into letting me go home?”

  “Honey, they need to keep an eye on you.”

  “I want to see everybody. I thought … I just … I want to go home.”

  Elizabeth hated to say it, but, “Sorry. We’ll get you out of here as soon as we can in the morning. Promise.”

  Giving into the fact that she'd be there until tomorrow, Emily began fiddling with the stuffed toy, “Did you know Dex would be coming over?”

  “Yeah. He called this morning after I got home. Tim talked to him then he asked me if it would be all right if he came by. I figured you'd want some different company.” Smiling at her, “Hope you didn't mind. He sounded fairly desperate to see you.”

  “Naw. I'm always good with him, but,” not sure why she was hesitating, she finally just blurted out, “Dex knew I was alone. He figured it out a long time ago, but never said anything.”

  This blind-sided her, the shock clearly trying to win out in the myriad of expressions that crossed her face, until she settled on an apologetic half-frown, “I'm sorry. I guess he paid a lot better attention than any of us did. We'll do better from now on.”

  “Elizabeth ...”

  “We'll do better.”

  Ignoring the finality in her voice, Emily made sure she got the last word, “There's no earthly way you could have done any better than this. Please, don't apologize.” Having said that, she made an attempt to lighten the mood that had descended, “And are you sure we couldn't sneak out of here? You could carry me out like I'm your really, really big baby?”

  “No.”

  “Stuff me in a cart and roll me out?”

  “No.”

  “Hike me on your back, cover me with your coat and pretend to be a hunchback?”

  By now, the frown had disappeared, “No.”

  “Wanna play some cards?”

  “Yes.”

  ▪▪▪

  Jack slept for a few more hours before getting up to eat several bowls of soup, several mounds of Jell-O and several containers of applesauce. Longing to be able to chew properly again, he settled for knocking the spoon on his knee as he sat down and tried to have a normal night with his brothers.

  It didn’t work and he excused himself after a while. He wandered first to Tim’s new room, then upstairs to Emily’s, through his own, winding up sitting on the edge of the bathtub, his mind racing along with his heart.

  Will found him there a few minutes later, having come upstairs to check on him, “Hey, you okay?”

  With sweat running down his face and his hand gripping the wall, he shook his head, “I don’t know.”

  Beside his son instantly, “Does anything hurt? Are you gonna be sick? What’s wrong?”

  Jack just shook his head again, “I can’t be here. I can’t ... I …” He trailed off, “It’s too much.”

  Crouching down, Will put his hand on Jack’s clammy, cold arm, “Why don’t you go lay down, then you can tell me what’s too much.”

  Faster than lightning, Jack pushed his father away, unbalancing Will and causing him to stumble backwards, nearly falling, “I can’t get it out of my head, there’s too much noise. He ...” By now, Jack was swaying, dangerously close to tipping onto the floor, “It’s too much.”

  Will righted himself and knelt back in front of his son, putting a firm grip on either arm to keep him from falling, “What’s too much Jack? What do you hear? What’s the noise?”

  Rolling his head towards his dad, “I can hear him breaking.” With that, he gagged and Will leaned him quickly over the toilet, where he neatly deposited his dinner.

  Once Jack had finished, Will slowly pulled him to the floor and settled him against the wall. Flushing the toilet and shoving the bathroom door closed with his foot, he sat down beside the boy, and knowing the answer, asked quietly anyway, “Who’s breaking?”

  “I can hear him breaking.” Closing his eyes, “It’s all I can hear. A cracking noise and then nothing. Not even a scream or a yell. Just … nothing.”

  Prodding gently, needing his son to say it out loud, “Jack, who’s breaking?”

  In a defeated voice that sent shudders through him, Will heard Jack say quietly, “I killed him.”

  Twisting so he could look at his son directly, “Open your eyes. Now!” Following orders, Jack saw a fire in his dad’s eyes that woke him a little from his nightmare, “You didn’t kill anyone. He fell. You said you only wanted to get him out the door. He fell himself. You didn’t do anything wrong. Do you hear me?”

  Barely above a raspy whisper, “What if I did it on purpose, without knowing it?”

  “The only thing on your mind was Emily
, as it should have been. You didn’t do anything wrong. I promise you.”

  Sliding sideways along the wall, he put his head on his dad’s shoulder and, as Jack sobbed, they sat.

  Chapter 25

  He didn’t do well that night, not falling asleep until just before dawn and sleeping through the usual morning hubbub of everyone leaving for school or work. After finally coming downstairs, he was extremely restless and was about to go out for a walk when the front door opened and in walked Emily and his mom.

  Normally, he would have walked right up to her, hugged her and confessed just how much he had missed her but instead, he stood awkwardly in the doorway while Elizabeth helped Emily get her coat off over the cast. Once that was done, Emily turned and stopped, staring at Jack while he stared back.