Lilly

by Conrad, Angela

  “Do all your mistresses live with you in your townhouse? Oh, never mind I forgot, I’ll never be there. That is sad, I’ve always wanted to visit London,” Lilly sighed and murmured. “I suppose I’ll never have happiness now.”

  “Why not sweetheart?” He said taking her hands and pressing them to his chest.

  “I thought when I married, it would be to someone who would care about me.”

  “How do you know I don’t?” Lord Randall asked.

  She frowned with a sad little twist to her full lips.

  “Remember I know you for a rogue, I am not a goose. You care for nothing except having an heir and going back to town. Will you leave me here at our manor with father, or do I have to live alone at Hillside Park?” Lilly asked, trying to picture her future.

  “You’ll be my countess and you’ll reside at the Park. I’ll be there sometimes too.” Reece added, watching her eyes mist over. He never thought to see his future bride cry because she must marry him.

  “I suppose you’ll be there a few days every ten months,” Lilly said, deciding to start building her protective wall by using sarcasm to show Reece what an impossible idea he planned. She would use irony, disdain, and mockery to test his limits.

  “Ten months?” He asked, surprised at an actual number.

  The normal sound of his voice chilled her. Lord Randall believed his planned arrangement was workable, feasible; even practical.

  “Ten months, just to get me with another child. I will have to raise them all on my own,” Lilly said and her breath caught in her throat.

  Suddenly her eyes grew wide and she stepped away from him.

  “You don’t mean to pay someone else to do that do you, like the clerk?” Lilly asked, a tear running down her cheek.

  “God, what you think of me. No, I’m capable of siring my own sons.”

  “Oh, I know you’re capable, I just didn’t think you’d be interested in doing it with me.”

  Her sad little voice did something to his throat and he coughed to clear it.

  “I’m interested. You’ll have a fortune to spend, clothes, jewelry, what women want,” Reece offered, knowing Lilly meant to marry him now by her questions and wondering why she was so miserable.

  “Is that what we women want? I’ve never had it or missed it. I’ve always had friends and family who loved me. When you come down once a year, will you bring your mistresses like you did this time?”

  “No. I didn’t bring Marlena, she followed me. You have no good opinion of me?” Reece asked sadly.

  “No,” Lilly answered truthfully. “Aunt said you host wild parties. Would you share me with your friends?”

  “Hell no! Listen Lilly, you’ll be my wife, mother of my children. There won’t be any sharing,” he said with force.

  Maybe not on her end, but she would be required to share him. Lilly couldn’t believe her father had accepted Lord Randall’s money and spent it already, what could she do but marry this heartbreaker.

  “I don’t see another solution. So, if that’s what you want. If sons are what you need, but remember I might have daughters, who’s to say. Then we might as well marry immediately, so you can get back to town and your other ladies,” Lilly added, laying the first bricks of protection around her heart.

  Other ladies was surprisingly the last thing Reece was thinking of. He took her into his arms and kissed the top of her head.

  “I won’t hurt you Lilly. You’ll be safe with me.”

  Lilly felt like she’d just been sold at a slave market. If she didn’t marry him, her father could go to debtor’s prison. She trembled realizing her last dream of being loved was over.

  “Yes, you will Lord Randall. You will hurt me all the time. Since you arranged the loan, you knew you’d get your way. Did you bring a special license?”

  “Yes,” he answered, not meeting her wet eyes. He knew he had her cornered when he left London. What he didn’t know was that he would want her so urgently when he saw her.

  “Saturday then? That way you can leave for London first of the week.”

  “You think I will get you with child in such a short time?”

  “Does it take more than once? Frankly I don’t know anything about it, but I’m sure you know everything a thousand times over. For you it will be like trying on another new pair of boots.”

  He laughed, she understood nothing of men, for if she did, Lilly would notice how much he wanted her.

  “I’ll meet you at the village vicars Saturday morning then. Don’t feel like you have to come here until then. I’m sure you and Marlena have plans,” Lilly said, adding another brick to her defenses.

  “I sent Marlena back to London, I told you I dismissed her.”

  “Oh yes, sure you did. Really you don’t have to lie all the time. What is your given name?”

  “Reece, and I’m not lying.”

  “See you Saturday Reece,” she smiled sadly up at him and turning walked slowly away, her long curly hair swaying with the movement of her hips.

  “You think I’m marrying you Saturday and leaving Sunday Lilly, you’re sadly mistaken,” Reece said under his breath.

  ……….

  CHAPTER FOUR

  The Brother

  Randall Hillside Park

  Residence of the Earl of Suffolk

  Suffolk, England

  Robert insisted on coming down for the wedding and arrived early Friday. Some of Reece’s other friends also wanted to attend, but he stopped them. The idea of gentlemen from town attending the small village ceremony, joking, behaving irreverently, ogling his wife, it was too much for him. For the first time, Reece was ashamed of the men he’d previously called friends.

  The earl also sent a list of instructions that Bell should be dismissed as well. Both mistresses now seemed tired and old to him. He wanted nothing else to do with them and a part of him was still angry that they’d repeated his brown mouse comment all over London. Lilly was a kind person, she didn’t deserve ridicule from jealous cats.

  He had Hillside Park cleaned, aired, and gathered the servants together to tell them his plans and instruct them to obey his new countess or answer to him. He would not leave Lilly unhappy with a surly, lazy staff.

  Reece ordered fresh flowers to be set about and a luncheon to be served for her family after the simple ceremony. He sent a message to the vicar arranging for music and food to be served in the village. He surprised himself by actually enjoying his domestic designs and felt truly cheerful for the first time in years.

  “So, I don’t get to see her until the wedding?” Robert asked, soon after arriving.

  “No, I decided you should not.”

  “Why not?”

  “She just doesn’t need to see you is all. She’s marrying me.”

  “Gads, you sound jealous and we both know that’s ridiculous. So was she as bad as you feared?” Robert asked.

  “No, I’m sorry I spread my comments about so easily in town. You were right Robert, for the mother of my children, she deserves better.”

  “My, that’s a change coming from you, she must be very pretty.”

  Reece looked at his brother and felt envy. His brother was five years younger, fitter and every bit as handsome. If Lilly saw Robert before the wedding, she might change her mind, or switch brothers. That was something he would not risk.

  “She’ll be my wife Robert. Hands off her.”

  “Hands off? What a thing for you to say. You shared your mistresses at parties if what I heard was true. I’ve ridden your horse…” Robert joked.

  Reece walked up to his brother and rested his hands on his shoulders.

  “Don’t even joke about it, I mean it, stay away from my wife.”

  “Good God, have you gone mad? Now you’ve got me curious. I think I’ll ride over there right now and see her.”

  Reece could see where this was going. If he argued, Robert would surely go and he had no desire to get in a fistfight a day before his wedding night.


  “Go ahead then. She’s got brown hair, brown eyes, tall, alright looking, not a country mouse but definitely not a beauty,” Reece said, trying to put his brother off.

  “What’s the worry then?” Robert asked, confused by his brother’s changing mood.

  “Just don’t need any upsets this close to getting it finished.”

  His brother grinned and walked out the door, Reece not far behind.

  “If you’re going I’m coming with you.”

  “What for, you’ll see her tomorrow?”

  “Not for Lilly, just to keep you company,” Reece said, slapping his brother on the back a little harder than necessary.

  Robert looked at him strangely but went around to the stables and ordered their horses saddled.

  “Damn it,” Reece muttered.

  ……….

  Lord Castleford Manor

  Residence of Viscount Castleford

  Suffolk, England

  Lilly had spent the last few days packing and kissing her aunts repeatedly, for she felt she’d never live with anyone who loved her again. They too were preparing for their trip to town, maids bustled about, chests were hauled up, then down, narrative spiced with angry sparks flew between the two sisters, and Lilly wondered how Aunt Mary could ever stay a month with Aunt Ellen.

  The cook and housekeeper promised Lilly they would watch over her father and make sure he rested and ate his meals. Viscount Castleford was distracted, a blank silly man, dressed in stripes and dots, browns and blues, once he wore two different boots, his mind wondered often and his staff observed him closely. Lilly’s heart broke watching him look right through her and she never questioning him about the money. No use having a confrontation now that she was leaving and with his heart unwell. Lilly understood her father’s grief and desired nothing more than to have him return to her in not just body, but mind. However, Lilly could not communicate to a blank stare or a dead eye, it hurt too much.

  Viscount Castleford stayed in his workroom, hunched over his drawings, oblivious to the world and his daughter ever since Lady Castleford had died. He retreated inside calculations and hid between puzzles, having no desire to surface. A part of his humanity was missing, raw nerves bound by bands of sorrow, rested under scientific theory. He feared if he ever rose above his study on projectiles, ranges of barrel thicknesses, velocity, and distance charts, he would go mad.

  ……….

  Lilly washed her hair Friday morning in spring water and wore it down and loose to dry in the sunshine. She wore a lavender day dress trimmed in dark violet ribbon, with a modest neckline and small sleeves. She was brushing her hair when she heard horses in the drive outside her window. Looking down she saw two tall gentlemen riders. One was the earl of Suffolk and the other must be his brother, for the resemblance was uncanny.

  Lilly had not seen her future husband for a few days and had imagined Reece at drunken parties with a woman on each knee, so she was surprised to see him here.

  Her aunts joined the two lords in the drawing room and when Lilly entered, both gentlemen had brandies and were seated in deep leather chairs. At the sound of her entry, both men glanced in her direction and stood.

  “Brown hair, brown eyes, she’s definitely not a beauty he says, what an ass,” Robert said softly, but Lilly heard him and looked down to hid the hurt.

  Reece noticed the movement and wanted to grab his brother’s cravat and twist it.

  “Oh, the earl thinks little of me, just too plain I suppose compared to all his other ladies,” Lilly said, taking Robert’s hand and pressing it.

  Robert flushed with embarrassment for he never meant for her to hear his remark. He looked at Reece and knew his brother wanted to punch him.

  “You must be his brother Robert Randall, you look very alike. And though I am definitely not a beauty, I think you both very handsome,” Lilly smiled sincerely.

  Her aunts looked at Lilly with surprise and then switched to angry frowns at the gentlemen. Such an unkind remark for a young lady to hear right before her wedding day.

  Reece was fighting an internal battle of what to say and how to explain, but time passed and he said nothing.

  Lilly went to the window and wiped a tear from her eye, hiding her movement as best she could. She wondered if she could stand the constant pain the Randall family was capable of inflicting. Lilly turned to the quiet room and spoke.

  “Now that you see me, perhaps you can talk Reece out of this marriage he believes he has to complete. If he would forgive the debt to father, or perhaps I could make installments over time. I have been thinking that is just the thing,” Lilly offered, surprised by the hurt the remark had given her.

  Still no one spoke and suddenly Lilly left the room, astounding everyone. Robert went to follow her but Reece gave him a shove and followed her instead.

  “Lilly,” Reece said, following her into the music room.

  She motioned for him to go away. Reece ignored her small hand wave and came up behind her. He pressed his large hands into her shoulders and massaged her lightly. He wanted to run his hands through her hair and kiss her all afternoon.

  She sighed and cleared her throat.

  “Did you say that to your brother?” Lilly had to ask.

  He knew what she meant but he answered, “What?”

  “Oh, Reece the truth for once without the game, did you describe me to your brother as a girl with brown hair and eyes, definitely not a beauty?”

  Lilly turned suddenly and saw the truth on his face.

  “I see you did. I told you that you would hurt me, and we’re not even married yet,” Lilly said, deciding she could not be insulted and neglected every day for the rest of her life.

  “I won’t be at the church tomorrow Reece. I’ll find another way to pay father’s bills. I’ll go to London and be a plain mistress to a plainer man, but I won’t marry you,” Lilly rushed, anger in her voice.

  “The hell you will! Lilly, I only said it because I was trying to dampen his interest. I meant to keep Robert away from you,” Reece explained, tightening his hold on her shoulders. The thought of Lilly becoming a mistress to anyone infuriated him.

  She laughed in a toneless voice.

  “Oh, because you were madly jealous, really Reece? I might believe you ask your brother to come here and insult me, so I would call off the marriage.”

  “Never, I don’t want out of the marriage,” said Reece, trying to turn her into his arms.

  The earl considered again how hard he was working to keep Lilly. Reece was surprised by the strength of his fear in losing her. He never remembered feeling such strong emotions for any woman. Somehow Lilly had become important, necessary, someone he needed.

  “Listen, I know you want someone plain and simple who can be abandoned here in the country, but I’ve decided I deserve a better life than that. I grow tired of paying for father’s crazy ideas, mistakes, and schemes. Let him once again become a man and find his own funds,” Lilly said, stopping because she feared she’d burst into a sob. She knew she could not desert father, no matter how angry she became.

  Robert came into the doorway and saw the pain on Lilly’s face and wanted to tear out his tongue. Coming around to face her, he looked deeply into her beautiful sad face and wanted to kiss her himself.

  “Lady Castleford, I beg your pardon. What I said was something I said in jest, Reece did not say it.”

  “Noble if dishonest, lying must run in the family. No Reece said it, he just admitted it. You don’t have to feel sorry, for I thank you for showing me what my life would be like married to a man who thinks I’m nothing but a jest. I won’t be there tomorrow. Go away both of you and find some other country mouse.”

  “Gads no, don’t call off the wedding for something thoughtless I said,” Robert pleaded catching the look his brother shot him, it stung like lead.

  “Lilly, we are getting married tomorrow and nothing this jackass half repeated is going to change that,” Reece shouted, deciding his bes
t earl’s voice was necessary.

  She just wanted them gone. It was too crowded in the small music room and Lilly decided to lie herself. Was it a sin to lie to a liar?

  “Alright I’ll be there, but go home, both of you.”

  Before they could say another thing, Lilly turned, went into the kitchen, and up the back stairs.

  “If she’s not there tomorrow, I’m going to break both your arms!” Reece snarled and left banging the front door.

  Robert could not believe several things. First, Lilly was so beautiful and didn’t know it. Second, his careless remark might have ruined the wedding. Third, his notorious brother seemed mad over Lilly. And fourth, a part of Robert hoped she would not marry Reece, for he wanted her himself.

  The brothers rode home in silence. Brooding and mystified at what just happened to both of their lives since they’d seen Lilly Castleford.

  ……….

  “Aunts, please guide me. I believe Major Sheridan meant to propose, but for father accepting the transfer of funds from Lord Randall. Then I agreed to marry the earl, as I saw no other choice, now his brother Robert let slip that his lordship still thinks of me as a plain mouse. What should I do?” Lilly asked.

  Aunt Mary hugged her and patted her arm.

  “What do you want dear, who, any of them?”

  “I don’t think the major and I would be happy, he still loves his past wife. I can tolerate the earl a few days a year, but that is a terrible life, isn’t it? I thought Robert very handsome, but of course he’s not asked me.”

  “He might if there was an opportunity,” Aunt Ellen offered. “He has a much better reputation and character than his brother. He’s not an earl but would be if Lord Randall has no sons.”

  “I don’t care about titles aunt, what else do you know about Robert?” Lilly asked.

  “He has income from his brother, but also lands and a manor of his own. He maintains a respectable townhouse off the square.”