Chosen

by Sarah Swan

  The first thing I wanted to do, because I had broken a promise, was patch things up with Chris. I was unsure why he had stormed away like that after seeing me, and I wanted to get the story from him. After the warning Liz issued me about Rob, I didn’t want to press my luck and ask her about Chris. Apparently, there was some sort of animosity between him and the girls I had just met. I wanted to get his side of events.

  At the same time – no matter what I promised the others – I just couldn’t get Rob out of my mind. Who was he, to spark such a protective and jealous response from the others? Was he older than me, younger, the same age? Rob definitely seemed at least as old as we were, if not older. Maybe he was an athlete. Where did he come from? How long had he known Liz? Just what was the history of their relationship? But… more importantly: Why had he looked at me like that?

  That was the thing that weighed most on my mind. If he had some sort of relationship with Liz, why would he so blatantly stare at me? Maybe that was his way with people. Then again, from the extremely jealous reaction that he provoked, maybe there was no history with Liz. Maybe she just became threatened by the most innocuous thing. It wasn’t even my fault! I didn’t provoke him in any way. Even if I did lose myself in his eyes… well, nobody was safe from that mysterious gaze!

  I didn’t want to do anything that might cross Liz – or any of the other girls. Like I told them, I did want to be friends with them, and despite the blunder with Rob and their subsequent reaction, they all seemed like fun, exciting girls to be around. They were definitely the ones in the know at this school, and I didn’t want to fumble away my chance to become ingrained with them before I even got to know them. If, over time, it turned out they were nothing like me… well, I would deal with that when I got there.

  But again, there was the question of Rob. Why oh why had he stared at me like that? Who was I to him? I felt chills run down my spine. When was the last time I had spent so much time thinking about a boy – and a forbidden one, at that? I shook my head. Never, of course, which is what made it all so exciting and uncertain and new. Rob was an enigma. And he was one that I was determined to solve.

  The door to the dorm clicked open as my student card came within range, and I hurried up the stairs to my room. I was so entrenched in my thoughts that I barely noticed Ashley storming down the stairs, coming right at me. At the last possible moment, I jumped out of the way, and her shoulder brushed mine unkindly. If I hadn’t glanced up at that last moment, she would have slammed right into me – as if I didn’t even exist! I looked after her. Just what was her problem?

  I reached the third floor and looked around. A few doors were still open. I could hear somebody playing music from a higher storey. Chris’s door was closed. I knew the chances of him coming back to his room right after what happened in the cafeteria were low, but it was the only place I knew to look for him. I knocked on his door once, and waited. Nothing happened.

  I counted to ten, and knocked again, louder this time. Still, there was no response. I sighed. I knew the odds of him being here right now were low, but I had still hoped that maybe…

  I heard movement on the other side of the door. It was hushed, though, as if the owner didn’t want anyone to know he was there.

  “Chris!” I said loudly. “Chris, it’s me. I wanted to talk to you about what happened earlier. Please open the door!”

  Nothing. There was not another sound on the other side of the door. Perhaps I’d imagined it? I knocked again.

  “Chris, I’m sorry if you’re mad! I don’t know what happened in the cafeteria, and I wanted to talk to you about it. Are you there?”

  Again, nothing. Maybe he really wasn’t there. And I didn’t feel like yelling a whole apology through the door loud enough for the entire floor to hear. Suddenly, I got a great idea.

  I went over to my room, fumbled through my pocket for the key, and opened the door. Then, I went to my desk, where I had halfway started unpacking my belongings. I grabbed a pen, and ripped a piece of paper out of a notebook. I wrote a short note on it:

  Chris,

  Sorry about missing breakfast. I’ve got the rest of the day free. Give me a call! 617-881-9490.

  Tracy

  There. At least now, if he wanted to talk, he would have my cell. Speaking of which, I saw that it had finally charged, and picked it up from my bed. Flipping it open, I saw that I had nearly a hundred unread messages. I started scrolling through them. The first two were from my mom, telling me she loved me and wishing me a good stay, but the rest all came from Kyla, my best friend back home. I chuckled as I read through them. They got more and more frantic as I got toward the end, asking – no, demanding – that I call as soon as possible. Smiling at the memory of home, I sent her a brief message saying that I’d been super busy but would finally call later today. Before the phone was even halfway to my pocket, it buzzed with a new notification. I opened it again, and looked at the message:

  Don’t skimp on me this time! And get ready to dish! XOXO K

  PS: I’m still your best friend ;)

  Hah. That made me smile again. I put the phone in my pocket, and left my room, taking the note with me. I slid it under Chris’s door as I passed by, and hoped he would get in touch sooner rather than later. I thought I had dealt with him as best I could, at least for now, and could switch focus to the other things swirling through my mind.

  I went down the stairs, passing by a few kids on their way up, and came out the front door. It wasn’t yet noon, but the courtyard in front of the dorms was already busy. In the middle, a group of guys were playing ultimate Frisbee. Most of the benches at the sides were filled with kids reading or talking in groups. I saw one girl strumming a guitar under the shade of a nearby tree. Beside her, a couple was sitting cozily in each other’s arms. For some reason, that made me think of Rob.

  I pushed the thought away and hurried on. I had promised the girls that I wouldn’t talk to him unless they were around, and I expected to keep that promise. There was no point in jeopardizing the friendships with them over a single guy – and one who I barely even knew, at that. Liz had told me earlier the school was chock-full of good looking guys. So, I knew rationally there was no point in getting strung up over just one. And yet… the fact that I was forbidden to get to know him made him all the more alluring. It was crazy, and it made me feel out of control. I also had a sneaking suspicion that the reason why all this had me so unnerved was because of my conspicuous lack of experience with guys.

  I didn’t know exactly where I was going. But, I soon found myself angling toward the beach. The girls had said they would be there, and if I wanted to be friends with them I should probably be hanging out there, too. Besides, from what Chris told me yesterday, I knew the beach was among the more popular places to be. I wanted to see that for myself.

  However, I wasn’t totally convinced that I wanted to see the other girls just yet. Whatever was going on with Rob weighed on my mind. Maybe being alone for a little bit more before meeting them was the better choice. I knew, at the very least, that I had to clear my mind. Suddenly I had a great idea! What about the little beach that Chris had shown me? It was private, and it seemed a great place to get some serious thinking done. Perhaps Chris would show up there later, if he wasn’t already there.

  That made up my mind. Going to the private beach seemed the best of both worlds. I would have to pass by the main beach to get there. In the process I’d probably see Liz’s group of girls. And I could see just how packed the main beach was, now that everyone was here. Then I would be free to go and just relax at the private beach and consider everything that had happened this morning.

  The walk wasn’t far, and the scenery still struck me as if seeing it for the first time. The island was absolutely beautiful, and now that it had been re-populated after summer, it seemed more like a holiday getaway than a boarding school. The scent of evergreens mixed with that delectable tint of sea salt. As I neared the beach, the salty smell increased, as did th
e noise of many people.

  I topped a small hill, and immediately saw what Chris meant about the beach being a popular hangout spot. Despite the sun being hidden away by a few clouds, every square foot of the beach was packed with people. It was even busier than the cafeteria had been earlier today. It seemed like everybody who arrived at Oliver today was already down there.

  I looked around, but couldn’t see Liz or the other girls anywhere. I went along the single path leading to the water, propelled by the stream of other kids heading the same way. Down there, I looked around again, but still wasn’t able to find any of the girls I had met before. Maybe they had already left? I wasn’t sure I would be able to pick them out among the sea of people. At the same time, it was a bit of relief not to see any of them yet. I still had too much on my mind. Getting my thoughts in order would happen only in the serenity of the private beach.

  I edged myself through all the people, and was just about to get to the part where the sand shifted to rocks when I heard a shrill voice behind me.

  “Tracy!”

  I looked back, and saw Madison running toward me. Somehow, she had found time to change since leaving the cafeteria, and was now wearing a tiny white skirt and an equally skimpy top. Her hair hung freely around her shoulders. Again, I was struck by just how much she resembled Liz.

  “Hey!” she said as she came up to me. “I thought you would come eventually. Wait! Where were you going?”

  “Oh, hey,” I greeted her with a casualness I did not feel. “Just over this way, I was uh, looking for you guys.”

  “Well, we’re back over there,” she said, pointing in the opposite direction. “No wonder you missed us! You were looking in the wrong place.”

  “Yeah,” I answered half-heartedly. I was looking forward to getting some time to myself. Now the possibility had disappeared.

  “Anyway, we were actually just about to leave, when I saw you,” Madison continued. “It was nice here, but way too busy.”

  “Oh,” I said, instantly feeling a flood of relief. Maybe I’d get the time to myself after all. “Where are you going?”

  “Don’t know yet, but somewhere less busy. I actually might go back to my room. I haven’t had a chance to unpack yet, and I know the other girls have to do so as well.”

  “Oh, so you guys aren’t all hanging out then?”

  Madison shook her head. “Probably not for much longer. Otherwise, I’d ask you to come along.”

  “That’s fine. I actually wanted to take a look around the island for a bit, and I don’t think you guys would be interested in that anyway.”

  Madison made a face. “Nah, we’ve all seen pretty much all there is to see here. But that’s not why I wanted to talk to you.”

  “Oh? Why then?”

  “Actually, Liz asked me to tell you about a party going on tonight. Sort of a welcome back thing to kick off the new year. You in?”

  “Uh, maybe,” I answered. The way Madison emphasized the word ‘party’ made it seem like it was going to be the highlight of the year. There was also something… sinister… about the way she said it.

  “Maybe?” Madison looked scandalized. “That’s not good enough. You have to come. Otherwise, you’re totally going to miss everything that goes on here! Anyone who’s anyone is going to be there. Trust me. That’s where you need to be to fit in on campus.”

  “Sure, alright,” I agreed.

  “Great! The party starts at ten. But, we’ll come by your room at eight to make sure you’re ready. Give me your phone number, just in case plans change.”

  I did. Madison punched it into her phone and skipped off. I turned and continued toward my intended destination. The party tonight was just another thing I’d need to mull over.

  Chapter Eight – An Invitation

  I was in my room, and the feeling of anxiety in the pit of my stomach grew as the minutes ticked closer and closer to 8:00 p.m. I still hadn’t heard anything from Madison, or anybody else, about the party tonight. What Madison said earlier about the party being important started to weigh on me. I didn’t want to start the year off behind in the social scene. Apparently that would be the inevitable outcome if I missed tonight.

  I flipped open my phone for what seemed like the hundredth time, only to find exactly the same thing as before: nothing.

  Although I knew all the girls – and everyone in my grade – lived in this building, I didn’t know which particular rooms any of them were in. So, it wasn’t like I could walk down the hall and meet all of them just like that.

  I leaned back on my bed, my anxiety and uncertainty increasing. What was taking Madison so long? Maybe she’d forgotten about inviting me? I hoped that wasn’t the case. And what would the party be like, anyway? Who would be there? Would Rob?

  The only solace was that the party apparently wasn’t supposed to start until 10:00 p.m.. But at the same time, if none of the girls I met earlier today showed up to take me there, it wouldn’t matter at all when it began.

  The minutes stretched by slowly. What made it worse was that I had nothing to do but sit and wait. I had already showered and dressed in a fresh outfit: a pair of new jeans with a bit of glitter down the sides and a bluish-black, matching blouse. I didn’t know what people wore to parties over here, so I elected to choose something relatively conservative, but sufficiently dressy for the night.

  Where was everyone? Outside my window, I could hear kids walking along the courtyard. Every once in a while, I caught a whoop or a shout. That only served to increase my anxiety. People out there were having fun. Why wasn’t I?

  Of course, the answer to that was that I was waiting to go somewhere that would apparently be fun. Or, it might not be at all, but it still seemed like something I shouldn’t miss. Least of all after Madison’s warning.

  I flipped over, and looked at the time on my phone. It blinked 8:02 p.m. Madison was late and not responding to my texts. I had nothing to do but lie back and wait.

  A part of me wished I was still at that little private beach. The sun would be going down shortly, and its rays on the horizon would be quite a sight. I had stayed there for nearly the entire day today, feeling completely at ease in the tranquility of the space. It was one of the most relaxing, most therapeutic, extended moments of my life. Chris wasn’t there, and didn’t show up at any point. I had been hoping he might, but I would have still gone there again in a heartbeat knowing that. Staying there gave me time to think, about Chris, about Rob, about Liz and the other girls, about my feelings regarding this new school, and a whole bunch of other things that needed to be figured out.

  One of the most important revelations I made had to do with Liz and her friends. I had decided, pretty unequivocally, that I wanted to do my best to be accepted as one of them. Not least of all because if I wasn’t, as they made clear, my life had the potential to become a living hell. I didn’t want to find out what that would be like.

  Of course, it wasn’t like I was being pressured into friendship. The threat had only come up after I had seemingly infringed on some type of girl code. Before that, they were all pretty much ready to become fast friends. So really, the choice was obvious: stay clear of Rob and become good friends with the popular girls in my grade, or, mess that up and make six powerful enemies for the rest of high school. It was an easy choice for me.

  No matter how callous and unexpected that threat from Liz had been, the girls were all people I wanted to get to know. Besides, they seemed to like me, aside from that strange occurrence with Rob. And I liked them. The one thing I had to do, then, to ensure there wouldn’t be any more unfortunate incidences, was talk to Rob and clear things up with him. I wanted to make sure he didn’t get the wrong impression about me. To do so, I thought I had to tell him straight up that I wasn’t interested in him.

  Except that it wasn’t true. I wanted to get to know Rob, to figure out just why he looked at me like that. But if I wanted to maintain the friendship with the girls, that was out of the question. It was a
great predicament to be in.

  A knock on my door jolted me out of my musing. My mind had drifted, and it took a few seconds for me to process what had happened. As soon as I did, though, I sprang out of my bed and made a beeline for the door. I had my hand on the knob when I stopped, realizing I probably looked a mess after lying on the bed. I took a few seconds to smooth the front of my blouse, and then, feeling more composed, opened the door.

  I was expecting Madison, or Liz, or maybe the whole group of girls. Instead, outside my door, I found… nobody. I poked my head into the hall, and looked both ways. It was empty. There was nobody there! I frowned. Had I imagined hearing the knock? I didn’t think I was that jumpy. No, somebody had definitely been there. But now they were gone. Who was it?

  Slowly, a sinking realization started to invade the pit of my stomach. Maybe Madison’s invitation had just been a ruse, a way to get my hopes up and then dashing them. Maybe it was some sort of cruel justice those girls thought was appropriate after what had happened in the cafeteria. I felt betrayed and alone. I didn’t like being taken advantage of that way.

  I began to close the door, but then a small piece of white caught my eye. I looked down, and to my surprise found a sealed envelope on the floor. I picked it up. On one side, in a flowing, elegant hand, was my name. Tracy Bachman.

  I closed the door with my hip, and held the small envelope carefully. I didn’t know what it contained. Something about it felt both ominous and exciting at the same time. The paper was thick and heavy. I sat down on my bed, and opened it.

  Inside was a folded piece of paper. I pulled it out and read:

  Dear Ms. Bachman,

  Your presence is cordially requested at 86 Brattle Street at 10:30 p.m., tonight. Please adhere to a formal-casual dress code.

  The message was written in the same hand as my name had been outside the envelope. At the bottom, instead of a name or any indicator of who it was from, was a small wax emblem. I brought it close to get a better look. It was some sort of sigil, although nothing I could distinguish. A single triangular shape was overlaid by a series of three wavy lines. I had no idea what it represented, or what it meant. But, I did know one thing: This was my invitation to the party.