All the Rage

by Spencer Coleman

  The grin on Marcus’s face widened. He grabbed his bottle of Becks and swallowed hard at the ice cold beer.

  She could tell he wasn’t going to apologise.

  ‘My creative juices were operating big time, I just had to go with the flow,’ he said. ‘The painting’s great, even if I say so myself. Besides, can’t have you putting round the rumours that I’m chasing you. I have a reputation to uphold. ’

  ‘Reputation? ’ Kara asked, raising her eyebrows.

  ‘Yup. Being seen to be punctual implies that I have nothing better to do with my day, as if I’m just hanging around waiting…’

  ‘For a date? ’ she interrupted, punching his arm playfully.

  ‘Well, kinda. Is this an official date? ’

  ‘Far too soon, Marcus,’ she said. ‘I’m distinctly unimpressed with your attitude and now the timekeeping leaves a lot to be desired. It’s rubbish. Not looking good, is it? ’

  ‘Hmm, I was rather hoping you would give me the benefit of the doubt and put it down to the eccentricities of my artistic temperament. ’

  ‘Well,’ she amused herself, ‘how about we beg to disagree and in the meantime let’s put our so-called relationship on hold, calling timeout while you undertake a strict period of probation, set by me. Deal? ’

  ‘Hell,’ he shrugged, ‘you’re going to be one hard nut to crack. ’

  They moved to another bar and then on to an Italian restaurant, Mario’s, where they shared seafood pasta and a bottle of Chianti. His treat. She was warming towards him.

  ‘Do you know of an artist called Julius Gray? ’ Kara asked, forking her pasta.

  ‘Nope. Should I? ’

  Kara pondered. ‘No. But I feel I should. And yet…’

  ‘Do I need to fear him? ’

  She was startled. ‘Pardon? ’

  ‘For your affections. I need to know the enemy. ’

  ‘Don’t be silly. You have nothing to worry about on that score.’ She laughed generously. ‘Apparently, he has disappeared abroad with his mistress after dumping the wife. I’m intrigued, that’s all. He is a prolific painter and I’ve never actually heard of him. Neither has Michael. ’

  ‘Ah, the other man in your life,’ Marcus joked, gulping his wine and giving her the hard stare over the lip of his glass.

  ‘You can be so immature,’ she replied in a dismissive tone.

  He grinned, arrogantly. ‘Touched on a raw nerve, have I? ’

  Kara took a deep breath. ‘Marcus, let’s establish the ground rules, OK? ’She bristled with her words, forcing him to sit back from the table in a defensive mode. ‘First,’ she said, ‘you have done all the chasing and I regard your juvenile banter as mildly amusing and, at best, a somewhat happy diversion from the daily grind of what we all laughingly call life’. Second, if you persist in this line of interrogation every time the name of my boss is mentioned I’ll have no choice but to sabotage your forthcoming exhibition. ’

  The penny dropped. She rejoiced in wiping the grin from his smug face.

  ‘I have the power, believe me. ’ She produced one of her superior smiles. Then she added, ‘And third, just because you have the arrogance to think you will succeed in getting me into bed, I should remind you that juvenile, spotty, coarse and vulgar youths do not – do not – get me wet between the legs in the same way as a mature, thoughtful, handsome and debonair art dealer would, with the minimum of effort. Does that give you any idea of how far off the mark you are, or do you need further examples of discouragement? ’

  ‘Ouch! I suppose I should leave right now? ’

  ‘Possibly…’

  ‘So,’ he said, ‘do I take it that all my courageous efforts are in vain? ’

  ‘Yep. ’

  ‘Am I as stupid as I look right now? ’

  ‘As stupid as you look. ’

  ‘So,’ he said, pondering once again. ‘On a scale of one to ten, where do I rate? ’

  ‘In terms of what? ’ she enquired, mystified.

  ‘Well, how shall I put it,’ Marcus said, weighing up his chances, ‘in terms of getting to shag your brains out. Sorry about the crudity. I would hate to offend your sensitivity. ’

  ‘No offence taken. ’ She thought for a moment, bringing her finger to her lips. ‘Hmm, two out of ten, max. Sorry. I hate to further humiliate the humiliated. ’

  ‘Feel free. It’s a kind of control you feel you need to exercise for fear of being put down. You get the rejection in first. It’s quite endearing, actually. ’

  Kara suddenly saw Marcus in a new light, impressed by his progressive insight. For the first time, she felt embarrassed. ’Wow,’ she said. ‘Am I that transparent? ’

  ‘Completely see-through,’ he replied.

  There was silence and awkwardness.

  ‘I suppose,’ she countered, ‘I should revaluate your rating to…four out of ten. ’ Her eyes dropped to her folded arms. The body language was crystal clear.

  ‘Only four? ’

  Kara lifted her eyes to meet his. ‘You should be honoured with that score. ’

  ‘I am, believe me. I’m frantically searching for other pearls of wisdom. ’

  Kara reached out and took his hands in hers, smiling warmly. ‘Stop searching, Marcus. Start with the simple things. We’ll handle the complications later. ’

  Marcus returned the embrace of hands and squeezed reassuringly, although more for his comfort than hers. ‘Show me how? ’ he asked endearingly.

  She stretched forward across the table, closing her eyes in anticipation.

  ‘Kiss me for starters,’ she demanded.

  ***

  ‘Michael? ’

  He listened to the familiar voice and his heart sank. He found a chair and took a mouthful of whisky to help clear his parched throat. He was sure she heard his audible sigh.

  ‘Adele. ’ He swapped the telephone from one ear to the other and remained silent.

  ‘We haven’t spoken for some time,’ she said. ‘How are you? ’

  ‘Fine. ’

  ‘I’ve deliberately kept away from the gallery. I’m sure you appreciate the space…especially after the last couple of weeks. I need to come in to bring the company books up to date. Would you prefer if I worked from home? ’

  He thought for a moment, his mind elsewhere. ‘Whatever suits you, really. ’

  ‘Michael, I don’t wish to create a scene or bad atmosphere, but it would be preferable to come in. The VAT figures need to be compiled and all the information I need is in the gallery. How about I come in on Monday? ’

  ‘Monday it is. ’

  ‘Will Kara be in? I need her to help me, if that’s all right. ’

  ‘She will. ’

  There was an awkward pause, illustrated in his mind as a ten foot high brick wall separating them. All that was required was the barbed wire to be added on the top.

  ‘Michael, we don’t have to be like this. ’

  ‘It’s what you want, isn’t it? ’

  ‘No. It doesn’t have to be like this. ’ Her voice softened.

  ‘You asked for a divorce, Adele. I’m not familiar with the rules. How should it be? ’

  ‘There are no rules, Michael. We all stumble through things like this. ’

  He shuddered. ‘Really? What about your ludicrous financial demands? No stumbling there, I notice. ’

  ‘We can talk. We can still talk. ’

  ‘Adele, we have talked, but I still do not know why you want a divorce. You have never really explained yourself. ’

  ‘I have,’ she replied indignantly. ‘But you choose not to listen. Is that my fault? ’

  ‘I listen but I do not understand. I confess ignorance. ’

  It was Adele’s turn to sigh. ‘I feel
smothered and I need to find my own identity again. I know you have difficulty comprehending this notion but we’ve become wrapped up in the business to the degree that we are now more like business partners and that is not enough for me, Michael. There has to be something else, surely? ’

  ‘Something else? Or someone else? ’ he asked guardedly.

  ‘Michael, this doesn’t have to connect to someone else. It can just be for me. ’

  ‘Is there someone else? I need to know. If there is no one then what you are doing is madness…We’re throwing too much away. Can’t you see that? ’

  He could hear her draw breath.

  ‘There, there could be someone,’ she eventually said, almost in a whisper.

  He could sense the resignation in her voice.

  ‘I’ll see you on Monday,’ he said, aware that his reply was cold and remote.

  Quietly, he replaced the handset. He then downed the remains of the whisky and threw the glass against a wall, smashing it into thousands of tiny fragments.

  ***

  The next day was a bit of a blur for Michael. He nursed a terrible hangover and cursed under his breath just thinking about Adele. He was convinced that either this unpleasant situation with her, or drinking too much whisky would instigate his downfall. Probably both, he thought. He suddenly felt old and fragile. On top of that, just as he wished for quiet and an uneventful day, he noticed Kara was euphoric, floating on dreams and generally irritating everyone. The end of the working day couldn’t come quickly enough for him.

  ***

  At closing time, Kara breathlessly skipped her way home in eager anticipation of a further night with adorable Marcus. He surprised her because he was so unpredictable, one moment infantile and selfish, the next sensitive and caring. He was confident and outlandish, something she initially misunderstood as laddish and arrogant. For her, it was a delight to discover a man within a boy: the best of both worlds.

  ***

  Michael, on the other hand, was slow to close the gallery. His thoughts centred on the conversation with Adele (“there could be someone”) and his forthcoming dinner date with Lauren. He decided that he was not in the right frame of mind to speculate on his wife’s lover or find the enthusiasm to counsel Lauren if she burdened him with her troubles. Instead, he consoled himself with Lauren’s stunning beauty, and the prospect of adventure: the best of both worlds. His mood lightened.

  ***

  He showered at home, towelled down, but chose to remain unshaven, preferring the fashionable light stubble look. Satisfied, he then dressed in a black Armani suit, with open-neck white shirt. He wore Dior aftershave, casual black loafers and, to finish off, selected a neat antique Cartier watch, silver with black leather strap, which he had inherited from his father. Staring at his image in the mirror, he complimented himself on looking stylish and powerful. He felt good. He ruffled his silver hair, switched off the light and walked out into the darkness of the night.

  He took a cab into Covent Garden. He arrived early and so paid off the driver to walk the last couple of blocks. The weather was cold and sharp. Adjusting the collar of his brown cashmere coat tightly around his neck, he soon mingled with the other people on the pavement until he became another anonymous figure in the crowd. This was how he liked it. Ambling through Neal’s Yard, he inhaled the aromatic smells of the coffee houses and enjoyed the faint intrusion to his ears of different music filtering out from the bars and shops. He turned into Monmouth Street and quickly found himself outside the Monsoon restaurant. He checked his watch: five to eight.

  ***

  Marcus texted Kara: meet me at eight outside the Curzon Street cinema.

  He wanted to catch a new movie. It was a French art house film called ‘Chanson de Roland. ’ He didn’t ask if it appealed to her. They grabbed the customary popcorn and Pepsi, took their seats and settled down like any other impassioned couple. As the lights dimmed, he felt Kara take his hand. A warm glow of comfort enveloped him. Then he spoilt it. Leaning over, he whispered in her ear, ‘In case you were wondering, the film is called The Song of Roland. ’

  Kara dug her fingernails into his skin. ‘Really? ’ she said.

  ‘Ouch,’ he yelled, before adding more quietly, ‘and in case you were wondering still further, it’s about a knight in shining armour. ’

  ‘Thank you for telling me, Marcus. ’ She wanted to kill him.

  ***

  The eatery was fashionable Asian fusion, with lots of chrome, glass and polished wooden floors, impersonal and slick. Michael made his way to the long bar and ordered a bottle of Alexandre Bonnet Rose, eventually finding a tall table with stools. The overhead starlight fibre optic lighting changed colour every few seconds: it was that kind of place. Monsoon was a new eatery and overcrowded with achingly hip young people and cool staff determined to be mechanically detached and ultra-efficiently slow. Michael felt uncomfortable – and ancient.

  Relief was at hand. He saw her first through the crowd, luminous, statuesque, delicious and…his. The noisy throng parted as sheapproached his table, smiling invitingly, her eyes ablaze and her long red hair shimmering under the lights. He stood from his chair and impulsively kissed her gently on the mouth, gesturing for her to sit.

  ‘You look fabulous, Lauren. ’

  She wore a long black sable coat and high heels and silver drop earrings with diamonds. He smelt her skin and imagined the contours of her smooth body. He placed a flute of sparkling bubbles in front of her.

  ‘Champagne: how lovely! ’

  Lauren allowed the waiter to remove her coat, revealing her lithesome figure in a hugging sequined black dress, slashed at the front to show her breasts, half covered. Michael inhaled deeply and hesitated for a moment, caught off balance by the intoxicating vision of this incredible creature before him. He was aware that all eyes in the room were on her.

  ‘Are you OK? ’ she asked mischievously. ‘Is it too hot in here for you? ’

  It was getting too damn hot, he admitted silently to himself.

  ***

  After the movie had ended, Kara and Marcus retreated to an old fashioned pub across the street, where they sat perched on high uncomfortable stools at the main bar. He saw her displeasure.

  The atmosphere was brash and heated and smoky.

  ‘Not your scene,’ Marcus said his voice shouting above the din.

  ‘Why do you think that? ’ Kara asked, unsmiling.

  He ordered a Bud for himself and a gin and tonic for her. ‘I had you down as a wine bar girl, to be honest. ’

  ‘Never be presumptuous, Marcus. I’m a chameleon, always adapting to my surroundings. I’m a born survivor. ’

  Marcus shrugged. ‘Survival, eh? Is that how you view your life? ’

  ‘Far too heavy,’ Kara said. ‘Let’s just say I prefer to blend in. ’

  They swallowed their drinks quickly and decided to reorder, against her better judgement. This time she paid, making her gin and tonic a double.

  ‘So – not unlike the fate of the leading lady in the film? ’ Marcus said, venturing boldly. ‘She chose survival over the challenge. ’

  Kara shifted in her chair. ‘I wasn’t looking for similarities. ’

  He persisted. ‘Well, the way I see it, the character only revalued her priorities when she found the reason to open her mind to other possibilities. Then he saved her. ’

  ‘The knight in shining armour theory? ’

  ‘Exactly. She discovered herself through him. ’

  Kara screwed her face up. ‘And found true happiness and everlasting love? ’

  ‘Something like that. ’

  ‘Hmm, a little too clichéd for me, I’m afraid. ’

  ‘But that was the message,’ Marcus preached, taking up the argument. ‘I found it magical, that two people could find ea
ch other and truly connect. ’

  Kara smirked, sank the last remains from her glass and stood to go. ‘Well, if you want my opinion, I found it pretentious tosh. ’

  Before he had a chance to react, Kara pulled him closer and kissed him hard on the mouth.

  ‘Let’s go to bed,’ she shouted above the din, catching the startled attention of those closest in earshot. ‘That’s what you really want. Be honest. ’

  ***

  ‘Would you care for another pot of coffee, sir? ’

  Michael gazed up at the waiter, somewhat surprised. The restaurant was virtually empty. He looked at his wristwatch: Midnight. Christ.

  ‘We are fine, thank you. Can we have the bill instead, please? ’ He turned to Lauren, and grinned. ‘Amazing,’ he remarked, ‘The evening has simply flown by. ’

  Michael had the perfect night of fun and laughter, fine wine and good food. For the first time Michael began to see Lauren flourish and relax and unwind from the problems that had clearly beset her. They talked freely and found ironic humour in their mutual experiences of respective marriage breakdowns. Certainly for him, he gained an inner strength from relating to their shared stories, some painful, some hilarious. Michael fell in love with Lauren this night, without telling her.

  Lauren stretched out her arm and took his hand. ‘I’ve had a truly wonderful evening. Thank you, Michael. ’ She held his eye. ‘I hope it doesn’t have to end at midnight? ’

  ‘There’s a club just around the corner,’ he volunteered.

  ‘You look absolutely shattered, Michael. We can skip the dancing. Why don’t we go back to your place… if I’m still invited to stay? ’

  Michael took her hand and slowly kissed it. ‘I noticed you’ve come without an overnight bag. I wasn’t sure I should be so presumptuous. ’

  Lauren retrieved her slim handbag from the floor and tapped the side. ‘I travel light. I only need a toothbrush and change of clean Janet Regers. Shall we go? ’