The Currency of Paper

by Alex Kovacs

  RAMONA: I made myself a cup of tea. Inside an empty white porcelain cup. I poured hot water into the cup. A white flurry of steam vapour drifted upwards, brushing against my hand. I placed the tea bag in the water, watched as tea doused the cup with an inky brown dye, a soft spreading cloud. The water was transformed, had become dark and bitter, a steaming murk. I poured soft tangled folds of milk from the jug, into the cup. I stirred the liquid in circles with a small silver spoon. The spoon gave a little ring against the edge of the cup. I sipped at the cup. Hotly, it trickled down my throat. It was quite pleasant.

  MAXIMILIAN: We had a meeting this morning. Voices boomed across the room, back and forth, with a slight tingling reverberation. Charts filled with numbers were projected onto a canvas screen. The hands moved around the clock-face on the wall. I scrawled jagged abstract shapes on a piece of paper. Secretly, I took off my left shoe and rubbed the ball of my foot around in tiny circles so that I could feel the texture of the carpet.

  RAMONA: I watched a soap opera. It fulfilled my need to follow the continuous tragedies of fabricated persons. I observed, once more, a fixed routine of events taking place in a well established setting. Very little that happened was surprising or unusual to me. The purpose of the narrative was to never end, to continue on into an infinity of identical days, stretching off blandly into the future. I like to see a middle aged woman who will silently speak to me from the screen saying: “I am an ordinary middle-aged woman. I suggest that you gauge your existence in relation to my own.”

  MAXIMILIAN: So another day is passing. There are tensions with colleagues. Particularly with those who have their desks in very close proximity to my own. We exchange a few curt words, restrained glances behind which we attempt to conceal our hatred for each other. But of course that is impossible; all of us are well aware of how we each feel about one another. We pretend that we are ignoring each other as we work, but really each of us is consumed with anxieties regarding our appearances, status, where our boundaries lie.

  RAMONA: My friend Sarah rang me on the telephone. We exchanged gossip, just as we do most afternoons. As usual, we talked about our children’s illnesses, purchases that have recently been made by mutual friends, simple domestic problems that we don’t know how to solve, the state of the weather as it appears to us on the other side of our windows. Yes, we have a close-knit circle of friends. We are a great help to each other in our common depravity.

  MAXIMILIAN: Many people fall within my sphere of influence. I like being reminded of this. I have hundreds of telephone conversations, write letters and memos, occasionally visit people at their desks on different levels of the building. I enjoy shaking hands with other men and making their bones crack whilst doing so. You might say that I spend all of my time making calculations of how I might best declare my sovereignty, how I might best demonstrate that I can mobilize large sums of money at a moment’s notice.

  RAMONA: I went shopping, enjoyed peering at the window displays, the possible purchases carefully arrayed on a series of pedestals, new forms of merchandise recently designed and created so that persons such as myself might have the pleasure of considering whether their interest in them is sufficient to warrant a purchase. I pick up these objects, hold them, turn them over in my hands, feel their weight, in order to decide how much they interest me.

  MAXIMILIAN: I had lunch in the canteen. I spent the duration of the hour speaking to Colin. We talked about the way in which our shared obsession with football is related to a general regressive tendency that we both give in to wholeheartedly. A tendency that helps to stop us from possessing even the slightest aspiration towards reaching moral and intellectual adulthood. We agreed that we both use sport, in part, as a means of deflecting all attention away from our responsibilities and potential sensitivities. This led on to a discussion about the fact that we both like to act in a way that subtly pronounces our authority over our wives and children. We talked about how much we enjoy this mildly tyrannical power. Together, we came to the conclusion that we both love to set the limits upon what others can and cannot do, both in work and at home.

  RAMONA: These actions, these afternoons define my existence. I do very little else during the week. There are slight variations now and then, but the fewer the better. The more that you are careful to follow a routine, the more that things are likely to run smoothly, without interruptions. The possibility of harmful ideas entering your mind is lessened. There is a kind of purity to keeping a household clean and orderly. I don’t think all that many people understand how calming it can be.

  MAXIMILIAN: I thumbed through a variety of documents, working my way down the pile stacked up inside my in-tray. Reading letters and reports, scanning rows of figures resting inside tables of statistics. Tedious, often impenetrable data that I do not always understand. And yet it goes on, so many years of quiet deception, always appearing to be such an expert. Will anyone ever see through me?

  RAMONA: I dusted the shelves. I made the bed. I tidied up the conservatory. I defrosted the freezer. I looked through the mail. I ironed your shirts. I folded your socks. I took the rubbish out for collection. I fed the cat. I went to the supermarket. I cleaned out the oven. I baked an apple pie. I read the newspaper. I watched the television. I picked up the children from school.

  MAXIMILIAN: I’ll try to get home as soon as I can. I’ll drive. In my car. Steering wheel. Gear stick. Windscreen. Brakes. Dashboard. Speedometer. Fuel gauge. Airbag. Headlights. Wheels. Axles. Hubcaps. Exhaust pipe. Number plates. Tail lights. Central locking. Leather seats. 2936 cc engine. 170 mph maximum speed. Acceleration of 0 to 60 mph in 5 seconds. Titanium wheel nuts that add 0.00001 mph. Aluminium pivot bearings. 240 litres of boot space. I should be home in half an hour.

  Relations with the Absolute

  (1986–1988)

  After Ramona left him, his sexual appetite knew no bounds. Yet it seemed inconceivable that he might meet another woman like her. He had no other choice than to pay for the company of prostitutes. Quietly, one after another, a series of women began to visit the bungalow. Undoubtedly, Maximilian felt guilty about this state of affairs, particularly as he could only afford their services as a result of his own illegal activities. Nevertheless, this indulgence soon became an addiction, and it wasn’t long until he had drawn up a schedule of his preferred sexual behaviours, as well as their ideal timetable on a weekly basis. Women would arrive every single night of the week, each assuming the different roles that they had been assigned.

  On Mondays, Elsa would visit. They had established a routine in which he would wash her from head to foot, slathering soap everywhere, running his fingers through her hair, massaging her scalp with shampoo, before applying a number of towels as she continued to stand upright and still. After blow-drying her hair and brushing it repeatedly in long, languorous strokes, he would perform a thorough manicure, followed by a foot massage. Covering the bed with pristine white cotton sheets, he would direct her to lie down upon them, still unclothed, her breasts and blue eyes and gaping cunt staring upwards at him, whilst he gradually coated every available inch of her flesh with a very thin layer of icing sugar, a substance that he would then proceed to lick away with an extraordinary slowness, lingering in some places for greater or lesser periods, often dabbing no more than the very tip his tongue onto the surface of her skin, so that only a few specks of the sugar could be removed by a single twitch. Her cunt was always his very last destination, and could only be explored—or so he had ruled—once all of the other sugar had been removed. The fleshly, sour human flavour of her sex was always shocking to encounter after so much sweetness. Elsa would become quite wet, but would never have a full orgasm under Maximilian’s ministrations, although he certainly attempted to make her do so on every occasion. They always parted very amicably.

  On Tuesdays, Lucy would visit. He would be waiting for her, suspended from the ceiling, held aloft by a contraption he had assembled, a cunning torturing device of his own invention, consisting of a
n array of ropes, straps, buckles and harnesses. Whilst his naked form hovered amidst them, Lucy would alter his position on a whim, tightening the grip around one of his limbs until he experienced excruciating shudders of pain, perhaps to be relieved by a feather against his prick, or a fleeting stream of kisses travelling over the length of his belly. At any moment this feigned affection might give way to further smacks and slaps, dramatic insults intoned in a vicious gleeful voice, providing a steady ritual parade of torment and humiliation. He would savour the sense of anticipation, knowing that he was not allowed to take things as far as he wished to, and that if he attempted to he would receive inevitable punishments.

  On Wednesdays, Deborah would visit. He expected her to read to him from whichever book he had left at the end of the bed. Shedding all of their clothes, she would mount him with her back turned to his face, giving very slow and gentle thrusts, whilst reading the pages of the book that had been marked up for the purpose. He would always know the passage well and begin to work towards his climax when the reading he had selected was beginning to reach the end. Ideally, he would always come whilst she was finishing the last sentence, but if this did not happen then he would attempt to do so as soon as he could. The texts that he chose varied greatly. Only occasionally were they of an overtly sexual nature, for the most part being poems or passages of prose that he believed constituted great literary works and which subsequently aroused him enormously. As soon as she uttered a single word, he would always find himself erect immediately.

  On Thursdays, Olga would visit. She would provide an hour and a half of entertainment whilst he lay horizontal, masturbating, as she tantalized him with a variety of outfits, poses and manoeuvres, moving so close to his body at times that he could feel the warmth of her breath upon him. However, there was a strict “no touching” rule. She would shimmy and wiggle, waving her breasts in his face, shuffling back and forth towards the bed and then away from it again. After prolonged teasings with bikini straps and stockings, she would finally reveal herself, baring her breasts and massaging them with oil, before performing a series of cartwheels and handstands, always ending with her balancing on her head with her legs spread outwards in V-formation, her cunt fully visible and glistening, at which moment Maximilian would allow himself to reach his climax, spurting warm semen across his belly amidst a chorus of groans. Olga would then move into another room, quietly clothe herself and discreetly take her leave.

  On Fridays, Rebecca would visit. After walking into the bathroom she would change into a white lace wedding dress. Once attired in this way she would meet Maximilian in the living room where he would caress her, burying his head into the folds of her dress, smelling its freshness, noting its stretches of smoothness, its unexpected creases, following the progress of its shape and length all the way to her feet, which were in white leather heels. Gently taking these off, Maximilian would put them to one side and begin kissing her feet, then brush his head against her calves and shins, before travelling up through her dress towards her thighs, where he would look above to see her white lace underwear adorned with swirling floral patterns and tiny ribbons, a dark growth of pubic hair underneath. At this point he would unzip the back of her dress and drag it down, letting it fall into a heap on the floor. Stepping out of it, she would stand still as he unhooked her bra and pulled her underwear off, sliding it over the length of her legs. He would bend her over on the floor, lower his trousers and penetrate her from behind, smacking her buttocks playfully before shifting after some moments into the missionary position, he would continue for some additional minutes and often come when both of her legs were resting on his shoulders.

  On Saturdays, Lorna would visit. Maximilian would engage her in lengthy conversations. From the outset he had attempted to convince her that he was a private detective. Smoking in bed, he would recount tales of adulterers and businessmen whom he had trailed and on occasion even brawled with. Lorna had been chosen for this role because Maximilian believed that she was the most gullible of the girls that he was employing. She found his stories romantic, enthralling. The act of deception was itself a pleasing turn-on. Maximilian enjoyed embodying a masculine archetype of strength and virility. Playing this role once a week suited him. Other smaller lies would also enter his monologues, so that he used his time with her to explore a variety of fantasies of conduct. These many deceptions made their sessions an almost intellectual exercise for him. Even if the physical details of their relations held nothing unusual about them, he still felt that their sex was somewhat distinctive and rare.

  On Sundays, Angelique would visit. As he lay on the bed, naked, Angelique would place caterpillars carefully on different parts of his body. With delicate, measured movements, she would place around thirty of them on his legs, chest and prick, before gradually taking them away again, equally slowly, so that the entire process would usually take about an hour to complete. The insects would proceed to crawl from one region of his body to another, and the sensation of having hundreds of tiny legs prickling across him acted as a thrilling prelude to the human caresses that would follow. The insects incited an urgent, hungry itching just underneath the surface of his flesh. At times during the procedure he would groan with the pleasure of deliberate aggravation and postponement. When his ordeal was finally over, with all of the caterpillars removed and safely locked away inside their case, Angelique would mount him. All would be over reasonably quickly, on most occasions, given the excitement that had built up within him by that point. Once they had finished, Angelique would always give him a light kiss on the lips (as instructed), whilst he lay back exhausted.

  And so it continued, week after week, not counting the occasional holiday, for nearly three years. Maximilian missed the real tenderness that Ramona had occasionally offered him, yet he was amazed by his capacity to feel entirely fulfilled after an evening with any of these women. Indeed, he wondered if he had not stumbled upon his ideal form of existence. Desperate to satisfy a lifetime of desires in what little time he had left, Maximilian hurled himself into each situation with a febrile intensity, until his brow was beaded with sweat and his groin ached from thrusting. It seemed impossible that he would ever wish to cease, that he would ever feel his appetite had been satisfied.

  But stop he did. Over time he began to feel that his desires were monstrous, that they seemed to loom over all of his other activities to the extent that they threatened to obliterate everything else in his existence. He became worried that he was losing his self-control and that he did not know how he would be able to contain these urges. So for the remainder of his life he confined himself to masturbation.

  Instruction Booklet Discovered Inside a Large Box

  (1987)

  Introduction

  “Time” is a game of skill for 4–6 players. It requires patience, initiative and stamina. Play involves undertaking a series of tasks that will themselves determine the movements of plastic counters upon a playing board. This then leads to the unfolding of situations encountered amongst a series of routines.

  The object of the game is to solve, by means of deduction and elimination, the mysterious question of the movements of time. The winner will form a large “X” at the spot that is the correct point of the origin of time. Most methods may be employed to correctly identify this location.

  Equipment Needed to Play

  A Game Board

  A Pair of Dice

  Playing Pieces

  Cards

  Clocks

  Alarms

  Watches

  Calculators

  Dates

  Calendars

  Stopwatches

  An Abacus

  Sundials

  Horoscopes

  Hourglasses

  Epochs

  Aeons

  Seconds

  Zones

  Sequences

  Chronologies

  Preparations for Play

  (The rules of an intriguing and interesting game must inevita
bly seem to be slightly difficult to understand at first, but these rules have been drawn up as briefly as possible, and with a little concentration, should be easily assimilated by following out each act carefully and in its proper order.)

  Act 1. Place the playing pieces on the starting squares marked for them on the board.

  Act 2. All players should gather into a circle, hold each other’s hands, close their eyes and collectively focus upon their perceptions of the nature of time.

  Act 3. Certain players should place clocks around a variety of working environments at random intervals so that they will be encountered and discussed frequently by all who find themselves there.

  Act 4. Each player should stare into a mirror, memorizing their features, the precise forms of hair sprouting and flowing from the top of their heads, the shades and colour within their irises, the clothes they are currently wearing, the texture of their lips, the angles formed by the protrusion of their nose. Attempts should be made to remember every detail observed with the clarity of a photograph. This should be taken as a starting point for one’s awareness of “The Present.”

  Act 5. Shuffle the cards and place them facing downwards in small piles on to areas of sand, grass, snow, carpet, wood, and concrete.

  Act 6. Each player should shake the dice. The highest numbers attained should be seen as indications of merit.

  Act 7. One player should attempt to remember every occasion on which they have glanced at a clock. They should recall the time that they observed upon each face, the location of the clocks, their reason for needing to know the time, and the way that they felt after discovering what time it was.