by Jane Frances
She blinked as she found something familiar in one of the figures. Then her eyes widened as the figures swept in and out of dark and less dark in unison with the flickering of the screen. Steph received such a sharp poke in the side that she jumped. Lisa whispered urgently, “It’s her!”
Lisa’s poke was answered with a slap on the arm. “It’s who?”
“Cathy!” Lisa indicated a point halfway down the length of the cinema. “Just there. In the aisle.”
Steph craned to see, head bobbing from side to side as she strained for a better view. “Which one?”
Which one? Lisa couldn’t believe Steph had to ask. The goddess of course. “The taller one.”
“Is the other one Toni?”
Lisa nodded in the near darkness, after the woman sitting immediately behind them told them in no uncertain terms to shut up. Lisa hunched down in her seat, aware she had broken one of her other rules of cinema etiquette. She didn’t even utter a word when yet another latecomer entered the cinema a few minutes later, mainly because the interruption didn’t register; she was too busy staring at the back of Cathy’s head.
She was still staring when the lights came up and people began the mad dash for the exit. It was a prod from Steph that brought her back to reality.
“Get moving or you’ll miss her.”
Lisa balked, “But Toni’s here as well.”
“That’s all right.” Steph pulled Lisa to her feet and gently pushed her so she had to start shunting past the quickly emptying seats. “A friendly hello is not going to hurt.”
“But what am I supposed to say?”
“You could always try, Hello. How about a coffee?”
Lisa rolled her eyes. Trust Steph to work in a coffee somewhere along the line. “But . . .”
“But nothing.” Steph gave another push, this time not so gentle.
“Hey watch it,” Lisa turned to her friend, annoyance building at the constant prodding. “I don’t think me falling headlong into the crowd is going to create a good impression.”
“Do you promise you’ll go and say hello?”
“I promise.” Lisa crossed her heart and turned her attention back to the aisle just in time to see Cathy and Toni pass by their row. Neither was looking in her direction. Cathy was busy pressing buttons on her mobile phone. Toni was doing some I’m dying to see what you’re doing but I’m not really looking glances at Cathy’s mobile’s display. Lisa waited for another few people to move past, then maneuvered into the crowd and let herself be herded toward the exit. She waited at the cinema doors for Steph to join her. There was safety in numbers.
Toni was leaning against a pillar at the perimeter of the lobby when she spied Lisa. She couldn’t believe it. What was it with this woman? She stays out of sight for years then all of a sudden she’s everywhere like the plague?
As Lisa headed her way, Toni was torn between telling Cathy, who was busy replying to a text message sent by her brother, or turning the other way and hoping they hadn’t been seen.
Oblivious to the debate going on in Toni’s head Cathy snapped her mobile shut and popped it into a jacket pocket. Her eyes sparkled as she said, “Mark’s going to be a dad again.”
“Really? That’s great.” Toni smiled back, pleased for Cathy, who already played the long distance but doting aunt to her brother’s soon to be five-year-old son, and pleased to see the news served to cheer. Cathy had managed a few smiles during the movie, but it didn’t take Einstein to realize something was still eating away at her.
From the edge of Toni’s peripheral vision she could see Lisa almost upon them. Common sense prevailed. She couldn’t just turn and flee, dragging Cathy along. Anyway, the woman would be playing a larger role in their existence in a few weeks time, so for the sake of harmony she needed to at least aim for civility. Toni nodded in Lisa’s direction, watching Cathy as her eyes followed the nod. “Look who’s here.”
As had been the case all afternoon and evening, Cathy’s reaction caused surprise. Toni watched Cathy set her jaw, straighten her shoulders and shift so her feet were planted slightly apart. The impression it gave was that Cathy was steeling herself. Very odd. A protective instinct kicked in and Toni sidestepped to stand closer.
“Hi.” The smile Lisa gave was slightly nervous, as if she sensed the collective unease. “Fancy bumping into you two.”
Hellos were passed all round. After a short silence Lisa touched the arm of her companion, and said, “This is Steph.”
Toni couldn’t help smiling as she accepted Steph’s hand. From the way she was dressed, Steph could have just stepped out of the pages of Vogue, but without the vague, half-starved look. The woman positively oozed charisma, and from her confident stance she was well aware of it. “Pleased to meet you.”
“Likewise.” Steph flashed a set of perfectly straight teeth then turned her attention to Cathy. “Hi Cathy. Lisa’s told me a lot about you.” She winked, adding, “All good, I promise.”
Toni noticed that Cathy seemed taken aback by that comment. When Cathy didn’t reply, Toni filled the gap of silence, blurting out, “So what brings you here?”
As soon as the words were out of her mouth she realized it was a dumb thing to ask. Obviously they were here to watch the movie.
Lisa shrugged and smiled, “Girls’ night out.”
“That’s right,” Steph gave Lisa a friendly pat on the shoulder. “This one here is keeping me sane while my significant other is off kicking a leather bag of wind around a paddock.”
It took Toni a moment to understand. Ahh . . . football. She wondered if Steph’s significant other was a league player. From what she’d seen on television they tended to collect the glamorous ones as their girlfriends/trophies. Who cared? Toni didn’t follow any of the football codes, and she certainly didn’t want to get into a discussion about it.
But Steph had already moved onto a new topic. Again she turned to Cathy. “Lisa also tells me she’ll be working for you in a few weeks.”
“That’s right.” Cathy nodded, for the first time looking in Lisa’s direction.
Lisa responded with a grin, also turning slightly more toward Cathy. “Joel said to tell you thanks by the way. He’s really looking forward to it.”
Toni prickled. Had she suddenly become invisible? “What’s he up to tonight?” she asked, just to get herself back into the conversation.
Lisa gave her a decidedly odd look. “Boys’ night out.”
Again it took Toni a moment to register. Joel was probably propping up a bar somewhere. Either that or he and his mates were ogling women at some strip club. Oh well, if Lisa was okay with that, it was her problem. But, along with football, the antics of the men in their lives wasn’t something Toni wanted to dissect. She was frantically seeking an out to the conversation when Lisa said, “We’re just going to the coffee shop next door. Would you like to join us?”
It happened Toni didn’t need to find an excuse, Cathy piping up, “Thank you, but we’ll have to decline, we’ve both got early starts tomorrow.”
Toni shot a quick glance to Cathy. That was an utter lie. For her part anyhow, she was planning on nothing more strenuous than a late lie-in. But in the second their eyes met Toni picked up on the quiet desperation for escape. She didn’t understand it, but she played along. “That’s right. A big day.”
“Okay,” Lisa said lightly, obvious in her effort to mask her disappointment. “Some other time maybe.”
“Sure.” Toni felt a little twinge of guilt. “Some other time.”
“And what do you make of that, Ms. Astute Observer of the Human Condition?” Lisa turned to Steph, who was watching the retreating figures of Cathy and Toni through the glassed entry to the cinema complex.
“I don’t know.” Steph sported a baffled expression, obviously frustrated at her inability to read the situation. “Something’s off.”
“Yeah,” Lisa agreed glumly, “Any hopes of me and Cathy being . . . anything.” She didn’t need to be an astute
observer of the human condition to read the road signs. It was quite obvious Cathy couldn’t bear to be near her. For most of the conversation Cathy hadn’t even looked at her, then when she did it was as if Lisa had suddenly sprouted horns and a tail.
“I wonder why Toni asked you what Joel was up to?”
“Who knows? Maybe she’s got the hots for him or something.”
Steph didn’t even raise a smile at Lisa’s poor attempt at humor. “No, I mean why would you know what Joel was doing anyway?”
“Who knows?” Lisa repeated. “Maybe she assumes that just because she’s joined at the hip to her business partner that I am too.” Feeling a pang of jealousy it wasn’t her joined to Cathy’s hip, Lisa pushed Steph in the direction of the café. “Let’s get some caffeine into you. It’s been nearly two hours, you must be going into withdrawal.”
A few minutes later they were tucked into a cozy corner of the tiny premises. Lisa was sprinkling sugar onto the froth of her cappuccino, at pains to ensure she got an even coating. Steph was stirring her as yet untouched black coffee, lost in thought.
“You know,” Steph said eventually, still stirring. “I don’t think Cathy and Toni are together.”
Lisa snorted. Obviously the lack of caffeine had addled Steph’s brain. “Yeah right.”
“True.” Steph nodded away Lisa’s sarcasm. “I think Toni’s in love with Cathy, but from what I saw she didn’t have that confidence of being loved back. She was trying too hard. I think Toni wants Cathy, but she hasn’t got her.” Steph’s spoon was pointed toward Lisa. “I also think she’s very much threatened by you.”
“Oh come on Steph, why would she be threatened by me?” Lisa wanted to believe Steph was right, that the astute observer was picking up on something she wasn’t. But the evidence was right before her eyes. “You saw Cathy tonight.”
“Yes I did. And I still think there’s something strange going on. Why would she want you to work for her if she hates you?”
“Because—”
“Yeah, yeah. Because you quoted cheapest.” Steph finished Lisa’s now common refrain.
Lisa sighed, nodding her assent as Steph again launched into her lecture about why Lisa should ring Cathy. But Lisa knew she wouldn’t call. Rejection wasn’t one of her strong points. As it was, it was going to be hard enough fronting up for work when the time came.
***
The display on the clock radio changed from 4:03 to 4:04. Toni had been watching the display change since 2:16. She’d also been pondering yet another turn in the night’s events, the one that saw her as she was now, lying on one side of Cathy’s king-sized bed, Cathy curled up on the other, even breathing indicating at least she was able to get some sleep.
Despite the bed’s dimensions, Toni was perched precariously on the very edge. Another inch or so and she’d fall off. But it seemed the safest option at the moment. Toni knew she couldn’t trust herself. She’d nearly overstepped the mark earlier in the evening and she wasn’t going to tempt fate again. Not when Cathy was relying on her as a friend.
Toni had known something was up all evening, but it became glaringly apparent once back in Cathy’s car. Cathy hurried them to her vehicle, which was parked what seemed like miles away, their late arrival back in Leederville seeing the major car parks completely full. The walk was brisk and quiet, Cathy striding ahead with head down. Again Cathy dangled the car keys and Toni accepted the offer to drive. But she had hardly settled into the driver’s seat when Cathy burst into tears.
“Oh Cathy, what’s wrong?” Toni swiveled herself as far as the restrictions placed by the steering wheel would allow.
Cathy looked at her through tear-filled eyes, then her face crumpled and she reached for Toni, arms circling her into a half body hug as she buried her head into Toni’s neck.
“It’s okay,” Toni soothed, rubbing a hand up and down Cathy’s back, her other stroking her hair. “It’s okay.”
They stayed that way until the torrent of tears subsided to a whimper. Head still buried in Toni’s neck Cathy mumbled, “Can you take me home please?”
“Sure.” Toni halted her hair stroking, her other hand coming to rest in the small of Cathy’s back.
“Umm Cathy,” she said a short time later, neither of them having moved. “I can’t quite drive like this.”
“Sorry.” Extricating herself from Toni’s hold, Cathy sniffed and wiped her nose with a tissue dug from a jacket pocket. She dabbed a fresh corner of it at the lapel of Toni’s suede jacket. “Sorry. I’ve made it all wet.”
“It’s okay.” Toni made light of the potential damage to yet another piece of clothing, more concerned at how empty her arms felt now that Cathy was no longer in them. She brushed a stray strand of hair from Cathy’s face, searching eyes that still shone with unshed tears. The urge to kiss them away was incredible. Instead she pushed the thought away, ashamed at how her body was stirring at such an inappropriate time. She wriggled back into a driving position, snapped her belt on and instructed Cathy to do the same.
They spent the journey home in silence, Cathy staring through the passenger window into the night, Toni concentrating on the road and getting her charge home safely. Toni knew it was pointless to push. Cathy would only talk when she was ready.
And indeed, once home and settled on the couch, Cathy had been ready. In between bouts of tears, the missing pieces of Cathy’s life story fell into place. For once Toni listened without interruption, all the questions she had been collecting over the last four years finally being answered. The process took a couple of hours, and by the finish Toni was exhausted, and all she’d done was listen and pass tissues. Cathy herself looked totally wrung out, eyes puffy and red rimmed.
Toni was stifling a yawn when Cathy asked, “Will you stay with me tonight?”
The yawn was quickly swallowed. It was a good few months since Toni had shared Cathy’s bed, invitations to stay coming to a halt around the time Toni’s feelings toward Cathy moved to a higher level. “If you want me to.”
Once in her bedroom, Cathy disappeared into the walk-in wardrobe, returning a few moments later, T-shirt in hand. Toni caught the tossed shirt and headed to the guest bathroom down the hall. Despite her quick clothes change and hurried teeth clean, Cathy had already crawled under the covers by the time Toni returned.
“Thank you for listening Toni.”
“My pleasure.” Toni slipped between the sheets, the linen cool against the bare skin of her legs. She settled on her side, facing Cathy, thinking, I’d do anything for you. “Sleep well.”
“You, too.”
They both reached to turn off their respective bedside lights.
Once Toni’s eyes adjusted to the darkness she saw Cathy had turned to face the window. She watched her, hands forming into tight balls to stop them from reaching out. Finally unable to stand it anymore, Toni flipped over and screwed her eyes shut. But sleep wouldn’t come. In an effort to take her mind off the flowering in her groin, she turned her thoughts to Cathy’s revelations.
Initially Toni had been irked to discover Cathy harbored doubts about the Lisa and Joel are more than just business partners theory. She thought it was just another of Toni’s exaggerations. Toni knew she embellished her stories (why tell a dull tale when a few enhancements could add the needed spice?) but in this case she’d only told it as she’d seen it.
That Cathy had been spending her time gathering a body of evidence to further disprove Toni’s theory also came as a surprise, especially the confession she’d been listening in on Lisa’s conversation from behind the fence. It was that overheard conversation which all but erased any final hope Toni was mistaken. A fresh paroxysm of tears emerged as Cathy said, “Lisa told Steph she’d told Joel she was through with women.”
Once the rush of tears slowed, Cathy told how Lisa’s pointed comments about girls’ nights and boys’ nights were the final straw. She felt she was being given a clear message of, “Stay away, I’m no longer interested.”
> There was no need for Toni to ask if Cathy was in fact interested. Of course she was, she wouldn’t be in this state if she weren’t.
Toni struggled to understand. It was obvious Cathy had been deeply in love with Lisa. In light of the circumstances in which their relationship ended, she just could not comprehend how Cathy could hold onto such feelings. Certainly Toni had never experienced a love like that. Her relationships either ended with the desire never to see the woman in question again, or they made the post breakup transition into friends. Indeed, the woman she left Melbourne over was now in the friend category. They spoke regularly on the phone and just the previous year, she and her new girlfriend had stayed with Toni for a week while on holiday.
Cathy’s other relationships followed the same path. Her first lover, a fellow boarder, had been pulled out of school halfway through the final year, her diplomat father being offered a “safe” post in Europe and thinking a new country experience would be good for his daughter. Cathy bid her first love good-bye with a lot of tears, but the anguish faded to be replaced with a bank of pleasant memories and no great regret at the loss. The woman now lived in France with a longtime partner and she and Cathy were pen friends, exchanging letters/e-mail a couple of times a year, and phoning each other at Christmas. Similarly, Cathy’s two lovers during her time in Sydney were now regarded as friends. As with Toni and her Melbourne ex, Cathy kept in phone contact and open offers to stay were in place should either be in town.