Here With Me

by Alla Kar

  “It’s nothing like that. It’s just—”

  “Hey, Adam, can I borrow your hair dryer? Nancy forgot—” Jaden stops mid-sentence and stares at us. Her brown hair is wet, droplets running down her white tank top. I can make out the edge of her small, pink nipple below it.

  As if she knows what I’m thinking, her hands wrap around her small chest. The brightness in her cheeks darkens against her tanned skin. She bites her lower lip, gnawing on it. It’s kind of adorable.

  “Um, yeah, it’s on my dresser,” Adam says.

  She nods and disappears down the hallway before anyone can say anything.

  When I look over at Will, he is jabbing his finger at her and smiling like a damn weasel. “Adam? Do you have a friend over, or is that our new little sister, Jaden?”

  Adam narrows his eyes and clenches his fist. “Will,” he warns. “That’s my fucking little sister, don’t even start, man. I told you!”

  Will laughs and holds his hands up. “Calm down. I was just admiring the view. I bet she won’t even remember my name by the time I graduate. I won’t be anywhere near her. Swear.” He puts his hand over his heart in a dramatic jackass way that irks me.

  Adam grumbles but leans back into his chair.

  “Can I at least speak to her when I see her?” Will asks, unlacing his nasty-ass cleats. He tosses them in the corner and begins to strip out of his clothes.

  Adam ignores him and glares at me. “Want to watch the rest of the game?”

  I shake my head. “I’m beat. I have class and a double tomorrow. Don’t wait up.” I stagger off down the hallway. I don’t have much in my room but a bed, clothes, TV, and my guitar in the corner. All I do in here is sleep…and fuck, but as long as you have a bed no one really cares.

  It’s nothing like Jaden’s room. I sneaked a look before she got here. It looks like a magazine. But Adam’s family is loaded. Not that you can tell by being friends with him. He’s down to earth. Not like his asshole dad. He barely said two words to either of his kids. And left before Jaden could get settled. Douchebag.

  Slipping on a fresh undershirt and sweats, I make my way to the kitchen. Will is sitting on the counter beside Jaden. He’s eating something and staring her down like a fucking creep. I regret not leaving him any pizza now.

  She swings around and puts the milk back into the refrigerator. His eyes travel down to her ass, and he lifts an eyebrow. It’s a nice ass, don’t get me wrong. It’s plump, rounded, and comes up to the tiniest waist I’ve seen in a while. “What you eating?” Will asks over his spoon.

  She looks down at her bowl and back up at him. “Cereal,” she says lightly. Dumbass.

  He nods. “You ready for your first day tomorrow?”

  She leans against the counter and pushes her spoon around in her bowl. She isn’t wearing the white shirt like before, and I smile knowing she had noticed me looking. When she looks up, her cheeks are a dark red.

  Shaking my head, I walk in and grab a bottle of water from the fridge.

  “I’m actually really nervous,” she says.

  “You’ll be fine, sweetheart. I can show you around if you want. I wouldn’t mind.” He gives her the biggest smile I’ve ever seen. What a dickhead.

  Swallowing, she glances up at him. “I would love a guide. All I have are some maps that they gave us at registration. They’re kind of confusing.”

  Will isn’t listening. I watch as I twist the top of my water and take a swig. He’s like a lion, zeroing in on prey that he was specifically asked to stay away from. Adam might as well have given him condoms when he asked him to stay away.

  “Want to try some of this?” Will asks, offering her his spoon. It looks like peanut butter and something mixed together. Jaden’s grip tightens on her bowl, but she politely nods.

  “Sure.”

  Will jumps down from the counter, leans close to her, and places the spoon at her lips. Her full, pink lips. They part as the spoon touches the outside of her mouth.

  Is this fucker crazy? Quietly groaning, I make a grand show of turning and bumping into Will. His bowl falls to the floor with a runny plop and splatters against his shirt on the way down. “What the hell, man?” he yells, looking down at his stained shirt.

  My eyes find hers. I’m giving her a chance to run for the hills, but she stares blankly at me.

  “My bad.” I point toward the floor and his shirt. “Better go get cleaned up though.”

  He narrows his eyes at me, and then disappears around the corner, cussing under his breath.

  “Sorry,” I tell her, taking another large swig of my water. “I’m clumsy.”

  She narrows her green eyes and leans against the counter. “Sure. You look like you’d be clumsy,” she says over her spoon.

  What’s that supposed to mean? I lift an eyebrow and obviously look her up and down. She squirms and looks at her bowl.

  “You do that a lot,” I say.

  “Do what?”

  “Look down when you’re embarrassed.”

  Her head jerks up, and she presses her lips into a tight line. It’s the only emotion, besides discomfort, that I’ve seen from her. “I’m not embarrassed.”

  “Really?” I ask, lifting a brow. “Your cheeks are red.”

  Her hand automatically reaches for her reddened cheek.

  Dumping her bowl into the sink, she turns to stare at me. Her mouth is partly open, like she wants to say something, but she doesn’t.

  I give her a quick wink and wrap my lips around the top of my water. She watches the movement, her mouth parting, and her eyes round. It goes straight to my dick.

  “See something you like?” I ask, gently.

  She crosses her arms over her chest. Her dark hair falls in front of her face in an attempt to cover her blushing cheeks. “Goodnight.”

  I watch her hips sway as she walks to her room. It’s not like I’d actually date her. She isn’t my type, and she’s my best friend’s little sister. It’s just fun to get her worked up. To see those cheeks turn pink.

  I’m laughing when Will walks back into the kitchen. “Where did she go?”

  I roll my eyes and toss my water bottle into the trash. “To bed, to get away from your dumbass.”

  He grumbles beneath his breath, and I walk toward my room. Light spills through the crack in Jaden’s doorway and into the hallway. It’s right next to my room and across from the bathroom that we’ll be sharing. I never had a girl roommate, and never wanted one. There is too much temptation living with the opposite sex because they’re always there. But now not only do I have a roommate but she’s my best-friend’s little sister. Just fucking great.

  I glance over my shoulder to see if Will is near before leaning closer to her door to peek inside. Her TV is on but too low to tell what she’s watching. She’s turned toward her nightstand and when she tosses something into her mouth, I see a few prescription bottles beside her.

  What medication is she on? Not that it’s any of my business. Hell, why am I even pulling a peeping Tom and spying on her? I take a step back, and rub my palm down my face.

  I walk toward my room and shut my door behind me. I have too many things to worry about and I’m not adding Adam’s little sister to the list.

  Not going to happen.

  Chapter Three

  Jaden

  My stomach feels nauseated and bile rises up my throat. My head presses against the side of the toilet, and I curl up like a snake. The sad thing is that I don’t know if I’m sick because I’m so nervous or if it’s because I vomit regularly from my medication. I’m surprised I didn’t see death on the warning label.

  She isn’t going to be there, I tell myself. She’s off to college in Florida—a long ways from Utah. Never to be heard from again…hopefully.

  And yet a huge cloud of despair hangs over me.

  I shouldn’t let my high school experience ruin college, but I can’t stop myself from thinking what if? What if someone worse than Selena starts with me? What if my rep
utation has made it all the way to the university? What if I’m ostracized like before? I wouldn’t be surprised. It seems everyone knows about it. About my…past. My life. My issues.

  A burning lump travels up my throat, and I dry heave into the toilet. God, how pathetic. I barely slept last night. I laid in bed, staring at the ceiling and listening to the distant sound of Cade snoring in the next room.

  My hair falls around my face, and I try to keep it from sticking to the corner of my mouth. Another round starts, and I throw up my cereal from the night before. I should have known better than to eat that late.

  Something bumps against the wall on the other side, and I hear a slew of cuss words shortly after.

  It has to be Cade. God, what an arrogant ass. There was so much I wanted to say to him last night, but I kept my mouth shut. Like always. I know that wasn’t an accident yesterday. I appreciated it; Will is overbearing. But how does he know I didn’t want Will to flirt with me? I didn’t, but I could have. Cade thinks he’s so freaking cute. With his charming smile and tattoos. That doesn’t make up for being an ass.

  The door swings open before I can move, and I press my back against the tub. Cade stares down at me. He’s shirtless and his hair is a mess of tangles, like he just spent a long night in bed with someone.

  “What the fuck? Are you okay?” he asks, crouching in front of me. “What’s wrong with you?” He taps my knee. I watch his heavy eyebrows pull down in the middle. I want to press my finger against that worry line and smooth it out. But I don’t. I crawl up against the tub with my knees to my chin like a child.

  “I’m just a little sick to my stomach. No big deal.” I go to stand, but my knees give out. Cade reaches forward and catches me, pulling me to his chest. Holy fuck. He’s hard…everywhere. The lines in his muscles are defined, causing his tattoos to look like they’re about to bust open.

  “Jesus Christ,” he whispers. Gently, he pulls my hair from my face. The touch burns underneath my skin, melting my bones into goo. “Have you been throwing up all night?” He’s too close. His green eyes are light, tracing over me like he wants to help but doesn’t know how.

  “I’m fine,” I say, pulling away from him to stagger up. “I’m fucking fine,” I whisper, tears burning my eyes. God, don’t you dare cry, you big baby. “Just nervous.”

  He nods. “Okay, so why don’t you tell me what’s really wrong?”

  “I’m sick.”

  He narrows his eyes. “Obviously, but why? You’re nervous about what exactly?” He grabs his toothpaste and squeezes some onto his toothbrush before running it under the water and shoving it into his mouth. “School? You shouldn’t worry about it; it’ll be fine once you get in there,” he says around his toothbrush.

  “Are you Dr. Phil?”

  A smile forms around his toothbrush. “Ah, I didn’t expect such a pretty, pouty mouth to be so snappy.” His eyes explore me from head to toe. He isn’t even trying to hide it.

  With no shame, he drags his eyes back up to my own. “You better get ready.” He turns and spits into the sink. “Will is up and ready to show you around.” He winks and leaves me sitting in the bathroom.

  Bastard.

  ***

  After I take a shower, get dressed, brush my teeth, and grab my books, I find Will standing in the kitchen, sucking down some orange juice. He’s what I would call a typical fraternity guy. The button-down Polo shirt hugs his chest, and his jeans hang low on his hips. He even has Dr. Martens on. His smile is always there because nothing ever goes wrong for him. Not a care in the world. I went to a prep school. It was full of guys just like Will. But maybe I’m a little judgmental and should give the guy a chance. No one ever gave me one, and I know how bad that sucks.

  Tossing his glass in the sink, he turns to me. A dark blond strip of hair falls into his dark eyes, but he blows it back into place. “You ready to go to class?”

  Not really. If Dad would let me have a car, I wouldn’t even have to worry about getting places. “Sure. Is—”

  “Wait, you’re taking her to her class?” Adam asks from the bar, giving Will a death glare.

  Will responds with an easy smile and pats my back. “Just helping her out. Since you didn’t offer. What a big brother you are, huh?”

  Adam swallows and gives me another look. “Ugh,” I groan. “I need to go, class starts in ten minutes.”

  Will gestures toward me and gives Adam a pointed gaze.

  “Whatever,” Adam mumbles.

  Will drives a Lexus. I’m not surprised. Will has been Adam’s friend for a couple of years, and I hear his parents are loaded, too.

  “So, what class do you have first?” he asks.

  I pull my schedule from my history book. “Journalism.”

  Will turns onto the university’s road and pulls into a parking lot. “That’s in the Fine Arts Center. It’s right over here.” He presses his finger against the map. “We’re here.” Then he runs his fingers over my own. I jerk my hand away and avoid his stare. Before he can make another move, I get out of the car. When I hear his door slam, I sigh to myself.

  Will wraps an arm around my shoulder and pulls me close. “So, what’s your major?” Really? That’s his line?

  I try to shrug out of his hold, but he pulls me tighter.

  “Undecided.”

  “You’ve got time, sweetheart. Plenty of time. This is it,” he says, gesturing toward the building in front of us like I couldn’t have found it myself. “I’m on the other side of campus. You need me to show you the room?”

  God, no. I slip from under his arm. “No, I can get it. Thanks, though. I’ll see you later.”

  Biting his lip, he lets his eyes linger over me. “Sure, thing. If you need help after this class call me.” Will digs my cell out of my back pocket, his hand caressing my ass.

  Oh, no. When he puts his number into my phone, he slips it back in and pats my ass before smiling down at me. My mouth pops open and he walks away before I can say anything.

  Did he really just do that? What an asshole.

  I watch him walk away with my mouth hanging open. Adam is going to kill him. Then I turn and glance up at the stone-like building. I slip through a set of double doors. It reminds me of high school when I glance down the hall, but everyone is dressed slouchy. Like they just rolled out of bed. Most probably did.

  Hugging my books to my chest, I stop in front of room 116. The door is wide open, with a few students already sitting down.

  I take a huge gulp of air and walk in. Every set of eyes darts toward me and holds. Heat engulfs my cheeks. Lowering my head, I walk to the first row and slip into the second seat. I’m sitting next to a marker board, and all the seats around me are empty.

  I take in everyone and everything while I pull out my notebook. Most are talking, no longer paying attention to me. A soft sigh escapes my lips. I can’t remember the last time I’ve sat in a classroom without being scared.

  That’s when I hear her.

  You can’t mistake that voice. Squeaky. Loud. Hateful. Every piece of me burns with agony. No. No, it’s a dream. A really, really bad dream.

  My eyes lift from my opened notebook and then I see her. She’s walking into the classroom, hands cupping her books to her chest. Her brown hair is down to her mid-shoulder. Her jeans—if you want to call them that—are low and tight to her slender waist. She’s walking with some guy who looks way older than us. Laughing, she throws her head back in that dramatic kind of way, but when she looks down her eyes meet mine.

  Shock rolls over her. Like she didn’t make fun of me for not getting into another university. Like she wasn’t the reason. My grades dropped terribly my senior year, demolishing any chance of a scholarship.

  Then a smile rises from the corner of her lips. Cupping her hand over her mouth, she whispers into her friend’s ear. He moves his head and looks right at me. Staring. Smiling. Laughing. At. Me.

  No. Not again. A consuming memory bangs in my head, waiting to be released, to t
orment me. To bring me back to those miserable days…

  ***

  “You look beautiful, Jaden,” Nancy said, running her hands over my shoulders. I smiled at her in the mirror. I look just like my mother, down to the dimple in my right cheek. Short, hippy, brown hair. Green eyes. Just like her. My red graduation gown swung with each movement. I felt huge, but was so excited to be getting the hell out of school that I didn’t care. “Your mother would be proud of you,” she said.

  The wrinkles around her eyes crinkled when she smiled. She took me in her arms and held me tight. She smelled like vanilla and Aussie hairspray. “You nervous?” she asked.

  “No,” I lied.

  Truth was, I was really nervous. More nervous than I could ever remember. My shaky fingers clung to the edge of my cap as I slid it on my head. My curls hung low on my shoulders and framed my heart-shaped face. “I’m just ready to get this over with.”

  Nancy giggled as she sat on the edge of my bed. “Come here, little girl,” she said, patting the seat next to her. Sliding onto my bed, I watched as she reached into the pocket of her cardigan and pulled out a small white box. “It was my mother’s. Since I don’t have any daughters, only those old boys, I figured I would give this to you.”

  My fingers lingered against the box, tracing the red bow. For me? Tears coated my eyes. Nancy was like a mother to me, but knowing she feels it too made me smile. Dad was really good at buying me things, but he had never given me anything of my mother’s. He never even talked about her.

  Sliding the bow to the side, I unwrapped until a small, delicate rose charm sat in the palm of my hand. The silver chain it was attached to dangled between my fingers. “Nancy, this is beautiful. Are you sure?”

  She nodded and tilted my chin up. “You’re my daughter, sweetheart. Not by blood, but in here.” She pointed toward my chest. She helped me put it on, and my fingers automatically clenched around the pendant.