Here With Me

by Alla Kar

  Jade’s stare is like hot coals against the side of my face, but I don’t look. I don’t want to see her judging my mom. Not everyone grew up with a picture-perfect family. This is how the other half lives.

  “It was nice to meet you, Jaden. I wish you the best of luck with school.”

  Jaden turns and shakes my mom’s hand. “Nice to meet you, too.” My mom pats her hand and climbs from the backseat.

  Once we’re at the entrance of the building my mother pulls me to a stop. Oh, no. She’s not backing out this time. She tucks her hair behind her ears and puts a finger up before I can protest. “I’m not backing out, Cade. You can stop sneering at me.” She glances over her shoulder at my truck. “I know I haven’t been a great mother, Cade. And I’m truly sorry. But I’d keep that little girl close. Don’t be mean to her.” She shakes her head. “I can see the pain on her face.”

  As badly as I want to tell her I’m not taking dating advice from you, I don’t. Instead I open the door and gesture her to go in.

  Once she’s situated with a nurse, I leave. If I stay any longer she’d change her mind and start into a fit like last time. A sense of hope fills me when I hear the door click without her screaming out my name.

  Jaden doesn’t look my way when I get in the truck and start down the road. Something about the way her eyes fell when she said we weren’t dating is eating at me. But we’ve already talked about this. Jade and I aren’t compatible anyway. Even if you took away the pills, crying, nightmares, and the fifty-foot guard she has up around her, it still wouldn’t work. I refuse to fuck my best friend’s sister. No matter how crazy she’s making me. I can’t do that to him. I won’t.

  “Look,” I say. “Could you not tell anyone about my mom?”

  She jerks her face to me and there is no denying she’s pissed. Her lips are pressed in a hard straight line. And I almost ask her why she’s so mad, but before I can, she shuts up tighter than a clam. “I won’t tell, Cade.”

  I know I’m getting nothing else out of her. “Thanks.”

  Chapter Twelve

  Jade

  I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t stoked about my job. It’s easy, and it’s going to get me a car. My own car. It’s all I’ve been able to think about all day.

  I pull open my laptop and flop down on my bed, sending my feet into my dresser drawer. “Shit!” I grab my toe and squeeze. My gaze drops to what I hit, and my pill bottle is lying on the floor. I have an appointment tomorrow but I don’t think I’m going to mention it. It’s not that I think I’m better because I’m not. But I take my pills religiously and I know that sitting in that room isn’t helping me. I wouldn’t be surprised if sitting in that room didn’t worsen my depression.

  Before I change my mind, I crawl back onto my bed and pull up Facebook. A loud thud sounds from Cade’s room and a stream of cuss words fills the house. I try not to laugh too loud. That’s what his ass gets! The way he sounded disgusted that his mother thought we were dating. It hurt worse than I wanted to admit.

  I stroll through my newsfeed and wait for one o’clock to hit. Cade and I both have an evening shift at the garage today. But as much as I want to stop thinking about him—I can’t. His mother is clearly on drugs. Not that it matters.

  A slight ding pops up on my Facebook, and all my hope dies when I see it’s a game invitation from some old relative that doesn’t even need a Facebook. I’m not sure why I even thought it’d be anything important. No one talks to me on Facebook. I’m about to shut my laptop when I see his face on my newsfeed. Justin.

  Status: About to lay it down…

  I haven’t seen him since graduation. The day he chanted along with all the prep school assholes “Ho, sit down.” But it’s not the ugly yells that draw my attention. It’s the memories surfacing. A memory that takes me back to the beginning of the madness.

  ***

  Jennifer’s gaze widened as she stared over my shoulder. Those hazel eyes were locked on something behind me. By the look on her face, you would have thought it was Adam Levine walking up to us.

  “What in the hell, Jennifer?” I gave her a shaky, nervous laugh and shoved her shoulder, but she didn’t budge. I clutched my finger over the bottom of my opened locker door and turned around slowly.

  Justin Diggs. His hands were shoved into the depths of his jeans, and his self-assured swagger was more than most high school girls could handle. Including me.

  But it wasn’t his swagger or jeans that had us gawking. We saw him every day from afar. It was the direction he was coming—straight toward us. His letterman jacket hugged him tight. He was the only person that made the Superman colors look good.

  Before I could turn to hide, his dark brown gaze settled on mine. It was the moment I had dreamed of for two years. Until last week, he’d been dating Selena. They had a huge breakup the week before in the cafeteria. She poured Kool-Aid all over his head, and he called her a bitch. The best school day that year.

  “He’s coming.”

  “No he’s not,” I said quickly. I didn’t want the chance to miss his smile.

  Words formed on his lips, and I was eager to know what they were. I hoped it wasn’t “can I borrow a pencil” like the time before. But this time was different. He was looking—smiling—at me!

  “Jade, right?” I had heard him say many things, but hearing him say my name was the best word he could have said.

  Jennifer nudged me from behind, and I took an unwanted step toward him. At the same time, his arm jutted out and wrapped around my elbow. The warmth settled in my lower stomach. “Steady there,” he said, giving me his best smile.

  “I’m Jennifer,” she said, shoving her hand at him. I almost bit her arm off. Jennifer had a wild dream of becoming popular. Yep, it’s just as cliché as it sounds. She would have crawled, slid, or chewed someone’s arm off to cross that line.

  “You’re in my science class, right?” Justin asked, raking his eyes down my T-shirt and jeans.

  I gave him a small nod. “And History.”

  He snapped his fingers and nodded awkwardly before looking at Jennifer. “Could we get a minute?”

  I didn’t even hear what she said. My heart was jackhammering in my chest so loud it sounded like eighteen-wheelers raced inside of me. I knew when she had left because his gaze drifted back to mine. When he leaned against the locker and grabbed the zipper of my jacket, I got dizzy.

  “You busy this Friday, Jaden?” His gaze pinned me to the ground. There wasn’t one way I could have gotten away from him if I had wanted to. I was the innocent lamb in the hallway being tracked by the wolf.

  I took in his woodsy cologne and lost all rational thought. I wanted—needed—to go with him. “I can make time. What do you have in mind?”

  The smile—again. He reached into his jacket and handed me a slip of paper. “Here’s my number. Text me yours. We’ll make plans.”

  His phone number. Something I would have given my right leg for three minutes ago. I took the slip of paper in shaky hands and slid it into the pocket of my jeans. When I looked back up he winked and before I could swoon in the moment—he was gone.

  And I was doomed.

  ***

  Bang. Bang. Bang.

  My head jerks to the door, and I sit up, closing my laptop. “Yeah?”

  Adam sticks his head in and opens the door the rest of the way. “You have a visitor.”

  I lift an eyebrow and pull my knees to my chin. I’m not expecting anyone. “Who?”

  “Me.” Nancy playfully shoves Adam out of the way and enters my room. I almost squeal at the sight of her. Her partly graying hair is cut in a small short bob and her loafers—sensible shoes, she calls them—are shined and paired with her usual slacks.

  She tosses her hands out wide, and I run into the familiar warmth. “Baby,” she sighs. “It’s so good to see you.” She kisses my forehead before pushing me back, hands braced on my shoulders. She pretends to examine me. “You still look the same.” She sniffs me, and I
laugh. “You still smell the same.”

  “Dang, Nancy. She’s only been gone two weeks. Geesh—I’ve been gone two years, and you don’t act that excited to see me.”

  Nancy rolls her eyes and ruffles Adam’s hair. “Adam—you know I love Jaden more than you. She didn’t give me hell like you did. I’ve been chasing girls out of your room since you were twelve.”

  Adam shrugs. “What can I say? The ladies love me.”

  Nancy smiles. “Of course they do. Now get out of here; you get to see her all the time now. I don’t. Shoo!” She pushes him out into the hallway and shuts the door.

  She turns and gives me a giant grin. “So, what’s with the shirt?”

  The shirt? I look down at my garage uniform and frown. “I forgot I had it on.”

  Nancy takes a seat at my desk and gently crosses her legs. “Spill. You got a job? Good for you!”

  I let out a gentle sigh and sink onto the bed. “Thank God. I was scared you’d be mad. Dad and Adam don’t know, they’re oblivious to anything I wear. You know how Dad is, and I don’t want to open that can of worms with him again.”

  She rests her elbow on my desk and rolls her eyes. “Your dad is busy. And a jackass.”

  I snicker at the cuss words like a three-year-old and nod. “You said it.”

  “So where is this job? Dan’s? Is that a garage? Now what do you know about cars?”

  “I don’t. I keep the books for him. My roommate works there.”

  Nancy’s gaze narrows, and a small smile curls up her jaw. “What’s his name?”

  Heat warms my cheeks, and I roll my eyes to play it off. “Cade.”

  Nancy twirls a piece of her hair with a smile on her face, and I burst out laughing. “Stop!” I throw a pillow at her face and she blocks it.

  “You’re the one blushing—not me.”

  I pull at a string on my comforter, and it suddenly hits me. Why am I blushing? There isn’t anything going on between Cade and me. Sure, he’s gotten pretty close to kissing me before but nothing in days. And the sexy little remarks have almost disappeared. Now he seems aggravated with me.

  “You’re really focusing over there. Do I need to be afraid?”

  I snort. “No, it’s just—”

  Thud. Thud. Thud. The door swings open, and Cade fills the doorway. Nancy makes a small noise under her breath—that Cade can’t hear—and I have no idea what it means. But if she’s anything like me, she’s staring at the way the fabric of his shirt is bulging around his muscles. Or maybe it’s his tattoos that climb down his forearm to his wrist.

  His eyes widen. “Oh, sorry…I’m Cade.”

  “Nancy. Nice to meet you.”

  Cade’s gaze turns to mine, and he jabs his finger over his shoulder. “We need to leave soon. Work in twenty.”

  I give him a quick nod. “I’ll be ready in a bit.”

  He closes the door behind him.

  “Ha!” Nancy yells and points a finger at me. “And now we really know why Jade wants a job.”

  I fall back on the bed. “So not true. I’m saving for a car.” Whoops.

  A silence settles over the room, and I’m afraid to look over at Nancy. Shortly, I feel her hand on my knee and the mattress bend from her weight. “Sweetie—”

  “Please,” I whisper and squeeze my eyes shut. “I can’t hear it today. I’ve been doing…better.”

  Nancy sighs, grabs my arm, and pulls me upright. Her soft fingers cup my face, and she smiles at me. “I’m glad you got a job, and that you’re trying to get a car. I believe you’re better. And I won’t tell your dad. But you need to make sure you’re one hundred percent before you drive. We don’t need what happened last time to happen again, sweetie. In a vehicle or at home.”

  Sighing, I give her a curt nod. “I know. It won’t.”

  She smiles and pats my cheek. “Okay, it looks like your roommate is waiting for you.” She gives me a sly smile. “And you need to get to your job!” She stops by the door and gives me another hug. “I love you, sweetie. Call me if you need anything.”

  “I love you, too.”

  ***

  I lean over the counter and try to grab the paperclip holder from the opposite side.

  The garage is closing in ten minutes, and my neck is actually really killing me. I may have been excited to start, but I didn’t think about my body. I’m not used to standing on my feet for hours at a time. I’d blame my dad, but I was never the athletic one anyway.

  My fingers grip the edge of the paperclip box when I feel something press against my back and then the paperclips are being lifted. I turn around quickly and come face-to-face with Cade. He smells like oil and sweat—I never thought that would smell so good but mixed with his heavy spicy scent it smells like heaven.

  The corner of his mouth curls up. “Trying to get these?”

  I swallow the heavy lump in my throat and try to ease back, but I’m pushed up against the counter. And by the smile on Cade’s face, I’d say he knows exactly how uncomfortable I am. He just doesn’t care.

  He cracks his neck slowly—deliberately keeping his gaze on mine—before stepping away. “Are you ready? I’m fucking starving.”

  I pull out a paperclip and attach the receipts to Dan’s book for the day. “Yep.” I grab my timecard and clock out before tossing a hand to the back of the garage. “Bye, guys.” I heard a loud gruffer of goodbyes before following Cade outside.

  “I need to stop by my mom’s house to check on something. She hasn’t been there and I just want to make sure it’s in once piece and locked up. Do you mind?”

  I climb into the passenger seat. “It’s your truck.”

  Cade smiles. “I was being polite. Don’t make me regret it.”

  ***

  Cade pulls into the driveway a few minutes later and kills the engine. His eyes are narrowed in on a side window that’s been broken. “Goddammit,” he mumbles. Before I know it he’s out of the truck and running up the porch.

  What in the hell? I hear a loud banging sound from inside the house and my heart starts thumping hard in my chest. I jump out and run to the house before I can change my mind.

  The front door is wide open. Furniture is strewn across the living room floor and trash litters everything. When I get to the kitchen, I gasp loudly. Broken glass and dishes cover the floor. Cade’s back is to me, but I can tell his shoulders are tense. He’s looking at the broken dining room table, but I’m sure the spray-painted DEAD BITCH that’s on the dining room wall is what’s got him clenching his fists and shaking.

  “Cade,” I whisper.

  He whips around, and my breath catches in my throat. He’s not mad—he’s fucking irate. His big green eyes are dark, his jaw clenched tight, chest rising harshly, and his fists shake at his sides.

  I’m suddenly not sure why I even got out of the truck. I sure as hell don’t know what to say. But he needs to calm down before he explodes. I’ve seen that face way too many times. “I’ll help you,” I say.

  The anger is still on his face, but his jaw unclenches. “What?” His voice comes out hoarse and rough, but it slides over me like velvet.

  I say it before I lose my nerve. “I’ll help you clean this up tomorrow—if you hurry on my car. We both get something it looks like we need.” He doesn’t even know that if he’d ask I would have helped either way.

  Cade gives me a good once over, and it cuts me to the bone. The insides of my thighs tremble at the heated intensity of it. “You want to help me?”

  Yes. I want to yell it at him but, of course, I don’t. “I’ll help.”

  Cade swallows and closes the distance between us. He’s not touching me, but his gaze brushes every inch of my skin. My sex clenches when he runs his tongue over the side of his lip. “Deal.”

  “Okay.” My voice sounds as weak as my self-control feels. There is no reason to be so damn turned on right now and yet, my fingers are trembling with an itch I want to scratch.

  But of course, I don’t take his stron
g jaw in my tiny hands like I want to. I jet out of the house so I don’t have to stand underneath his gaze anymore. I don’t think I can take one more minute.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Cade

  The writing scribbled on a Post-It taped to the fridge is from Will. I can tell by the crap handwriting. It looks like they’re having some douche frat meeting at the condo tomorrow because the frat house is being renovated.

  I crumple the note into a ball and toss it in the trash. Like we don’t have enough douchebags in this apartment already.

  ***

  My mom is sitting in her room, which contains a twin-size bed with a dresser and nightstand. She looks so small curled up in the middle of her crumpled blanket with her knees under her chin.

  A small glass of water is on the nightstand next to her. It looks untouched. The rooms are small, but there’s no dope or alcohol and that’s all that matters.

  Dark half-moons hang underneath both eyes, and I know she’s having a hard time. The first few weeks are always the worst.

  “Mom.”

  She opens her eyes and blinks at me for a few seconds. A small smile crawls up her lip. “Cade. I didn’t know you were coming by.”

  I hold up a bag. “I brought you some clothes.” I place it on the small dresser on the opposite side of the small room and then take a seat in a foldout chair next to the bed. “So, how’s it going?”

  Mom gives me the stink-eye and leans back against her headboard. “I’d do anything for a fix,” she says, but it sounds like a cry. “But at least I have no way of getting it here.”

  I frown. I wish she had some faith in herself. “Someone broke into the house.”

  Mom sighs and cups her face in her hands. “Goddamn. It’s Hardy. The same guy as last time.” When she looks up I see the tears in her eyes. “I can’t afford to pay him back.”