Adventures of the Mad Monk Ji Gong

by Guo Xiaoting

  When Lei Ming saw the four men go back downstairs, he replaced his sword in his scabbard, thinking, “This monk is hard to provoke. I will never manage it openly. I must think of some secret plan to take his life.” Then he stood up and started downstairs. Below, he asked the waiter: “How much is our bill? Include the food and wine for the private room and add in the dishes you broke. How much will it be altogether?”

  The waiter went to the office and added up the bill. Lei Ming took out some silver and paid. Then he requested a bottle of wine and asked the waiter to wrap up a pair of roast chickens, saying, “In a little while we will take them away with us.”

  Again the waiter went to the office. This time he asked for a bottle that he filled with wine. He wrapped up the roast chickens and gave them to Lei Ming as well. Lei Ming took out of his pocket a packet of the powder called Mongolian sweat and poured it into the wine.

  Now Lei Ming had not prepared this Mongolian sweat drug. After he had left Zhenjiang prefecture and while he was on the road, he met a man named Liu Feng. Liu Feng had once been a servant to the men of the Greenwood, and he had served both Chen Liang and Lei Ming, but had been dismissed because he constantly gambled, bullied other servants, and acted as if he were a law unto himself. More than two years had passed since Lei Ming and Liu Feng had seen each other.

  On this day when he met Lei Ming, Liu Feng was wearing fine new clothes and riding a horse. As soon as he saw Lei Ming, he got down from his horse and greeted Lei Ming respectfully. Lei Ming asked Liu Feng, “Where have you been all this time, and what have you been doing?”

  “I have opened a thug’s inn,” replied Liu Feng. “When a solitary traveler with much baggage comes to us, I simply kill him. I have just been to the Compassionate Cloud Shrine and bought ten ounces of the Mongolian sweat powder.” He explained that in Mongolia the drug was actually used in minute quantities to cause sweating and cure fever. A slightly larger dose could cause a long period of unconsciousness. More would cause death.

  “And how many people could your ten ounces of Mongolian sweat powder kill?” asked Lei Ming.

  “It is enough to kill a hundred men,” answered Liu Feng.

  “Take it out and let me look at it,” said Lei Ming.

  Liu Feng took out a small bag from his pocket and handed it to Lei Ming.

  Lei Ming said, “Look! Someone is coming.” As soon as Liu Feng turned his head, with one thrust of his knife Lei Ming finished him off. Then he took the corpse and disposed of it under the surface of a mountain stream. He then made off with the drug.

  Lei Ming now took some of this drug and put it into the wine bottle. He then immediately went upstairs and said to Ji Gong, “Teacher, I think you could teach me something that is not clear to me, but there are now too many people upstairs for us to talk conveniently. Could the teacher come with us to a place where there are no people about so that we could talk in detail?”

  Chen Liang called for someone to come and add up the bill, but Ji Gong said, “Never mind. Someone has already paid. Let us go.”

  The three went downstairs and the monk said to Lei Ming, “After you get those things, we will leave.”

  Lei Ming agreed, and carrying the wine bottle and the roasted chickens, they left the restaurant. They walked straight north until they arrived at a place about one or two li outside the entrance to the village. Ahead was a grove of pine trees with a clearing, in the center of which there was a stone table. As the three reached the table, Lei Ming put down the bottle and said, “I asked you here to instruct me, sir, and for no other reason. I would like to ask you about one thing. You are a monk who has left the world and you do not need to concern yourself with the world’s business. Although it is said that Cloud Dragon Hua is an outlaw and that he stole from the prime minister’s residence, still he did not go to your temple and take any of the hangings or the five vessels from the surrounding altars. Then why must you concern yourself with him, Teacher?’

  Ji Gong replied, “You have not put it correctly. Speaking as a monk, if he had not gone into a Buddhist temple, then I would not be coming to take him—if he had not gone into one of our temples and done the most unendurable things.”

  Chen Liang said, “Teacher, he has not really gone into one of your temples.”

  The monk answered, “Not into one of my temples, but he has gone into a nunnery and destroyed the peace of a quiet Buddhist place—therefore I will take him.”

  “You need not mention those idle tales, teacher,” said Lei Ming. “There is some wine here among the things I have prepared. Won’t you just have a drink?”

  The monk picked up the bottle and set it down again. Lei Ming unwrapped the roasted chicken, saying, “Please, Teacher, eat something.”

  Ji Gong said, “I cannot drink this wine. If the host will not eat, the guest will not drink. Chen Liang, you drink first.”

  Chen Liang picked up the bottle and was about to drink. Lei Ming reached out and snatched it away. “That was prepared for our teacher—don’t be greedy,” he said.

  Chen Liang did not understand the reason why, but he said, “Then drink, Teacher.”

  Ji Gong lifted up the bottle and said, “Chen Liang, you are my follower. I am your teacher. Teacher and follower are like father and son. If someone killed me, what would you do?”

  “I would avenge you,” answered Chen Liang.

  The monk asked, “Is what you said true?”

  “Of course!” said Chen Liang.

  The monk went on speaking until Chen Liang said, “Teacher goes on about his worries too much. Do not worry. If anyone were to injure you, of course I would avenge you.”

  “So you would,” said Ji Gong. He picked up the wine bottle and waved it back and forth as if toasting the other two. He then took a dozen or so swallows, and turning about, fell to the ground.

  Lei Ming laughed a great laugh.

  CHAPTER 40

  Lei Ming hears his victim’s voice; an innkeeper waits at the inn gate

  LOOKING at Ji Gong as he lay senseless on the ground from drinking the drugged wine, Lei Ming was laughing as he said, “Monk, I thought that you were a living spirit who knew about things that had not yet happened. Yet I have quickly brought you under control.”

  “What kind of thing is this, Second Brother?” asked Chen Liang.

  “Third Brother,” replied Lei Ming, “it is because I have paralyzed him with the Mongolian sweat drug that I put into the wine. Now I will tie him up and place him beside the road. When he wakes up, I will insult and shame him and see what he says to me.”

  Hearing this, Chen Liang said, “You are wrong. He is my teacher. You should not do this.”

  Lei Ming did not answer, but picked up the monk and simply started walking toward the east. Chen Liang naturally thought that Lei Ming was taking the monk to place him at the roadside. Could Chen Liang have imagined that when Lei Ming arrived at the east bank of the mountain torrent, he would cast the monk down into the rushing water, turn, and walk rapidly to the west?

  Chen Liang, who had been following and trying to keep up with Lei Ming, saw him throw the monk into the water. Chen Liang was shocked by Lei Ming’s action, but then he saw the monk rise out of the water and fall halfway back. The monk’s teeth were chattering loudly. Frightened by the sight and sound, Chen Liang fled. To Lei Ming he said, “Second Brother, you are wrong to do this. Your mischief will make trouble for us. Ji Gong is in touch with all the spirits and his arts are unlimited. Do you want to suffer retribution?”

  “Don’t talk nonsense, Third Brother,” Lei Ming replied. “I paralyzed him with the Mongolian sweat powder.”

  They were just approaching a small hill. When they started to climb it, they heard a mournful voice saying, “I did wrongfully! They told me not to approach the King of Hell, but to see the Dragon King of the Four Seas. The Dragon King was not at home. The night river patrol said that I was too dirty and threw me out. The big temples would not take me and the little temple would not le
t me stay. It is miserable to be dead. I am just waiting for the man who killed me to come by. Then I will tear him apart and kill him. The wrong done to me binds us two together as opposites, like yang and yin.”

  Lei Ming and Chen Liang turned their heads and saw Ji Gong behind them. Frightened out of their wits, they turned and ran to the south. Behind them they could hear the monk following them. Left! Right! Left! Right! If they ran faster, the monk followed faster. If they went more slowly, the monk went more slowly.

  After five or six li over somewhat firm ground, Lei Ming and Chen Liang found that they could hardly hear the sound of the straw sandals. Then Lei Ming said, “Third Brother, when we get under those trees ahead, let us stop and rest.”

  Just as they reached the trees, they heard the monk say, “Ah! Come, you two!”

  When the two saw that it was Ji Gong ahead, they wheeled about in their fright and ran in the opposite direction, with the monk following. With great difficulty they felt that they were leaving him behind, but then they saw him. The monk was standing on top of the mound that they had left before. Sarcastically he said, “And you have just arrived!”

  Lei Ming and Chen Liang turned about and ran in the other direction, thinking to themselves: “Strange! How did the monk get ahead of us?”

  Again the two ran into the woods and the monk was there ahead of them, saying, “Just arrived.”

  Altogether they ran first one way and then the other six times. Then Lei Ming said, “Stop running over the same ground. Let’s turn off and go to the southwest.” And so they followed a road that went in a southwesterly direction. It was difficult to keep ahead of the sound of those straw sandals. Truly the two had run until they were quite weary.

  Then they saw a grove of trees and Lei Ming said, “Let’s climb up into one of those trees, Third Brother, and rest awhile out of the way.”

  And so while Lei Ming was still speaking, they began to scramble up into a tree; but when they were halfway up the tree, they saw the monk already up in the tree and heard him talking to them. “I’ve been watching you running all over the place.” He pointed at them and kept them motionless with his hypnotic spell as he climbed down. On the ground, he looked up at them. “You good for nothings! I will neither beat you nor curse you. I’ll get some big grubs to come and bite you.”

  The monk recited a spell, and immediately the ground beneath the trees was covered with huge green grubs. The monk took off his hat and said, “I’ll send these grubs away. Liang, my friend, you watch for me.” Then he walked off to the east.

  Now, back in the restaurant, the two headmen, together with Yang Meng, Chen Xiao, and Juan Yoting, had been waiting all this time in the private dining room without seeing Ji Gong come downstairs. At length, they all went upstairs to look for him, but there was no one there. “Waiter,” called Headman Chai, “where did our monk go?”

  “He left long ago,” replied the waiter, “and the gentleman named Lei paid the bill for all of you that were there in the private room with the monk.”

  When he heard that, Headman Chai turned to Yang Meng and Chen Xiao and asked, “Would you two escort officers go with me to the Happy and Comfortable Inn to make an arrest?” Yang Meng and Chen Xiao nodded in agreement and said they would.

  Together, the five including Juan Yoting left the restaurant and went straight on to the Happy and Comfortable Inn.

  When they arrived at the gate, Headman Chai went to the office and inquired: “Greetings. Do you have a gentleman named Hua living here?”

  “We did,” said the manager, “but he left yesterday.”

  “Oh! Dreadful!” said Chai Yuanlo upon hearing this. “He just left.”

  “Never mind,” said Chen Xiao. “Ji Gong’s divine range of perceptions is very wide and his supernatural acts are limitless. To capture such an outlaw one needs more than ordinary powers to succeed. Why not come with us to the Heaven Rising Inn and look things over, then decide what to do?”

  The two headmen had nothing else they could do, and so with Juan Yoting went on to the Heaven Rising Inn. There they saw the escort officers’ guest, Wang Jong, lying in bed moaning and sighing unceasingly. Chen Xiao said to him, “You may expect great happiness!”

  “Huh!” said Wang Jong. “I’m the most miserable of men, about to die and become a ghost! How could I ever be happy!”

  “I am bringing the monk Ji Gong from the Monastery of the Soul’s Retreat. His powers are very wide, particularly in medicine. In a short time he will be here.”

  By chance this conversation was overheard by one of the waiters. The proprietor of this inn had a bad back that was extremely painful. The waiter told the proprietor, “If you go and stand at the gate, in a little while you will see a monk. Kowtow to him and beg him to cure your illness. That is the lohan Ji Gong. His skill is very famous.”

  The proprietor naturally went to the gate and waited, hat in hand. As luck would have it, a monk came walking by. The proprietor got down on his hands and knees and knocked his forehead on the ground, saying, “Save me, holy monk.” Then he looked up and saw that it was the second monk of the nearby temple. “Why am I kowtowing to you?” the proprietor exclaimed.

  “I don’t know why you’re doing it,” answered the second monk. “Why are you?”

  “I was waiting for Ji Gong,” said the proprietor.

  The second monk walked off. In a little while a poor monk came along. As he came nearer he said, “Greetings! Is there an empty room in this inn? I will be staying at an inn.”

  The proprietor could see that this monk did not amount to much, and so he said, “Monk, this inn is one of the great inns!”

  “But as I came walking up the road, I noticed that this inn of yours was smaller than the others,” said the monk.

  In his anger, the proprietor turned his back and pointedly ignored the ragged monk and would say no more to him. Unexpectedly the monk, without a word of warning, gave him a blow with his fist, knocking him to the ground. Several of the servants saw the blow and were about to attack the monk. But at that moment Yang Meng and Chen Xiao came out, crying, “A thousand! Ten thousand times do not hit the monk! Why should you?”

  The proprietor was lying on the ground, moaning, “Ah ah, ah ah. That is a bad monk. He has killed me. Don’t pay attention to those two guests. Hit him!”

  “Indeed, do not hit him,” said Chen Xiao. “Explain clearly what happened.” The proprietor explained all that had gone before. “This monk is Ji Gong,” said Chen Xiao.

  “If he is really Ji Gong, just help me up and we will forget about what happened.”

  “Don’t forget what happened,” said the monk. “Your bad back is cured.” Ji Gong pointed at him and said the six true words, “Om Ma Ni Pad Me Hum.” Immediately all the proprietor’s pain disappeared.

  The proprietor and all the servants at the inn kowtowed to the monk and ushered him inside with a great welcoming shout.

  In the great suite of the north building, Ji Gong was led into the chamber where the invalid lay motionless in bed. The sick man, Wang Jong, upon seeing Ji Gong enter, said, “Holy monk, my illness has taken a turn for the worse. I cannot greet you with proper ceremony. Be compassionate, holy monk, and take pity upon me.”

  “This will be easily managed,” said the monk. He told the waiter to bring half a bowl of cold water and half a bowl of boiling water. The monk then broke a piece of medicine into small pieces, dropped them into the boiling water, and let it dissolve. Then he mixed the hot water with the cold water and gave it to the invalid to drink.

  Before long, the blood began to flow normally through the young man’s arms and legs and the color returned to his cheeks. In the outer room of the suite Ji Gong sat down to rest. Juan Yoting and the escorts who were with the young man came and sat beside Ji Gong. Taking a number of gold coins, Chen Xiao attempted to slip them quietly into Ji Gong’s pocket, but the monk called out, “Headmen Chai and She! Here is enough to make up the six hundred ounces of silver lost by tha
t man whose life you saved. This is a great relief to me.”

  Juan Yoting protested, “I did not want to put you all to so much trouble, and I did not want to worry the monk!”

  The young man who had been so sick heard them talking and called Headman Chai to him for an explanation. Chai explained everything that had happened. “Then let me add something to the money you gave to Juan Yoting,” the young man said and took out six hundred ounces of silver to give to him.

  Juan Yoting thanked him sincerely and was about to take the money when Ji Gong protested. “You have had the money you lost returned. You do not need another six hundred. However, I can see that you are a worthy person, and I will give you these two hundred in silver.” This was, in fact, the last of the remaining funds which Ji Gong and his two headmen had for expenses.

  The two headmen could only take to the road with the monk. On the west side of town they came to a restaurant. Noise of great activity could be heard coming from the kitchen and every seat seemed to be taken. The monk ran inside and the two headmen followed him straight through to the dining area in the rear, where they found seats.

  CHAPTER 41

  A Phoenix Hill yuanwai reaches Country Hill Inn; a rough robber meets his match

  WHEN Ji Gong had finished eating and drinking and did not have the money to pay the check, the manager was not in the least agreeable, but just as things were becoming unpleasant, two men entered. The first was very tall, with shoulders three times as broad as those of ordinary men. He was wearing a scholar’s kerchief over the knot of hair at the back of his head. The silk material of his robe was brocaded in an arrow pattern and drawn in by a silk sash of a contrasting hue. His complexion was a bright gold, his nose prominent, his eyes lively and piercing and the corners of his mouth square. This was none other than the yuanwai who lived in the Phoenix Hill section of Linan city, who was called the Iron-faced Celestial Warrior because of his unblemished record as a public official.