Adventures of the Mad Monk Ji Gong

by Guo Xiaoting

  “Then we will have a two-catty bottle and a pair of roast chickens,” directed Chen Liang.

  After they had waited a while, the waiter brought everything in. Lei Ming and Chen Liang each drank a few mouthfuls of wine. Then Chen Liang said, “Not good. Brother, why am I becoming confused?”

  “I’m beginning to feel the same way,” said Lei Ming.

  Suddenly Chen Liang cried out, “It fits! We have fallen into the cave of the ear.” Then he and Lei Ming both turned and fell to the ground.

  “Master,” the waiter called out to Wang Gui, “these two are finished.”

  At this time, Chen Liang was still able to hear, and recognizing the answering voice of the spirit of the Green Sprout, Wang Gui, he knew that he had not long to live. The waiter watched them for a little while and then went to talk to Wang Gui.

  “Somewhere about them they have a purse with thirty ounces of silver that I had taken from the merchant. There is another with five ounces that they took from me. Whatever they have, I don’t want it. That is for you waiters.”

  The waiter was not especially eager to kill them. Whether they had gone against the Greenwood or not, the two men were famous. “First Wang Gui was talking about revenge and now he is talking about money,” he thought. But the waiter did not dare to say what he was thinking.

  Prepared to do the deed or not, the waiter took the knife and went out of the north building to kill Lei Ming and Chen Liang, but just as he approached the east building, he heard someone knocking at the gate and saying, “Open the gate! Open the gate! I came here to sleep.”

  Wang Gui, hearing the noise, called to the servant: “You had better find out who that is—but don’t let him see me.”

  The waiter went to the crack in the gate and called, “Who is it?”

  The voice outside repeated, “I came here to sleep.”

  “We don’t have any empty chambers,” the waiter said.

  “If you don’t have any in the north building, one of the side buildings will do,” the voice outside insisted.

  “There’s nothing in the side buildings either,” said the waiter.

  Then from outside the voice said, “If the side buildings are full, let me sleep in the shed.”

  The waiter opened the gate a little and looked out. There was a monk. Now, the one who had just arrived was Ji Gong. He had been at the little inn with the two headmen. When they had finished eating and drinking, one of them said, “This is a convenient place, teacher. Let us all stay here overnight and go on in the morning.”

  “Good,” said Ji Gong. They made arrangements to stay and went to bed. At the second watch, the monk woke them up and said, “Get up and we’ll go catch Cloud Dragon. He’s out in the woods.”

  “Is this really true?” they asked.

  “It is true,” said the monk.

  The two got up and left the inn with the monk. It was raining and still very dark. After a while one of the two headmen asked, “Teacher, where is Cloud Dragon?”

  “I don’t know,” answered the monk.

  “That’s not what you said before,” said Headman Chai.

  “I called you out to stroll about in this rainy scene,” the monk said. “The rain comes down from up above and underfoot it is all mud. At such a time it would be nice to be sleeping in bed, wouldn’t it?”

  The two headmen, Chai and She, could hardly control themselves, but they did not speak. The monk went on with them until they arrived at the Dong Family Inn. The monk asked them to make a bundle with their outer clothing, into which he put some stones to make it larger in appearance. Then he knocked at the gate.

  When the waiter said there was no room, the monk persisted. “I don’t want to go elsewhere. I have some valuables here and I am afraid to be out on the road. I’m afraid I will lose them. I’m begging you to let me stay the night.”

  When the waiter opened the door a little and saw him, he exclaimed, “You’re a monk! What is this talk of valuables?”

  “I’m carrying them secretly,” said the monk.

  “What’s that you’re carrying?” asked the waiter.

  “Crystal, cat’s eyes, agates, and all sorts of semi-precious stones and little antique jewels in curious shapes,” the monk answered.

  When the waiter heard that, he went in and told Wang Gui. “Outside there is a monk who is secretly carrying a pack with valuable little treasures of all sorts. Shall we get rich this time? It may be worth tens of thousands and we will each have seven or eight thousand as a share.”

  “That’s good then,” said Wang Gui, “but first lock the door of the east building. Bring the monk into the north building.”

  And so the waiter went and opened the door to the monk who had come to aid Lei Ming and Chen Liang.

  CHAPTER 43

  Wang Gui prepares his revenge; three friends meet in New Moon Village

  WHEN the waiter had locked the east building and finally opened the gate, he saw that the monk had two men with him and that the three were carrying the bundle among them. “Give us a hand with this bundle,” said the monk.

  The waiter tried to lift it but failed. “Help, you two,” said the monk to the headmen, and between them they carried it to the north building.

  “This must be something valuable,” said the waiter to himself. “I don’t know how the three of them carried it.”

  As they came into the room the monk asked, “And what is Waiter Ji’s name?”

  “You know my name is Ji. Why do you ask?” asked the waiter in return.

  “I looked at you and you were the sort of person who would be named Ji. I just guessed at it.”

  “And what would the great teacher like to eat?” asked the waiter.

  “What do you have?” the monk asked.

  “Whatever you like,” replied the waiter.

  “I like fried bean curd, boiled bean curd, dried bean curd, and bean-curd shreds,” said the monk. “You said there was a party and everything was taken there, even the cooking utensils—but as you said, you do have two chickens that aren’t cooked yet. Isn’t that right?”

  “Strange,” thought the waiter. “That’s what I said to the other two fellows just now.” Then he asked the monk how he knew.

  “I heard you say it,” said the monk.

  “No,” said the waiter. “I said we have whatever you want.”

  “Bring some wine and some freshly brewed tea,” ordered the monk.

  The waiter called out to the kitchen, “Three pots of the Forgetful Sea brand.”

  “Right, the Forgetful Sea brand,” the monk repeated. “Three pots.”

  The waiter was shocked. “Did the monk understand?” he wondered. “Why did you repeat the name Forgetful Sea, Monk?” asked the waiter.

  “Why do you go on asking questions back and forth?” asked the monk. “But I will ask you, what is this Forgetful Sea brand?”

  The waiter thought the question over and replied. “No, I told him not to forget to see if we had some good brand.”

  “I do want some good wine,” said the monk.

  The waiter brought some food with the wine and tea. The monk looked at the wine for some time and then said, “Waiter, you have a drink.”

  “I don’t drink,” the waiter said.

  “Well, you two go ahead and drink it, Chai and She,” said the monk. The three drank and immediately fell down senseless.

  The waiter then went and told Wang Gui that the three were all down. “Good!” exclaimed Wang Gui. “First, I will take my revenge and kill Lei Ming and Chen Liang, and afterward we will all get rich.”

  They took knives and went toward the east building. When they arrived there, Wang Gui could not find the door. “Waiter, why can’t I find the door?”

  “I can’t find the way to the door either. This is strange,” answered the waiter.

  Wang Gui was becoming impatient. “Let us go first into the north building and kill the monk we have there.” The two men with the servants and other waiters th
en went to the north building.

  “I will do it,” said the servant. With that he went into the western section of the building. As soon as the man lifted the knife, the monk showed his teeth in a grin that frightened the servant. He stood there unable to move. Wang Gui looked in from the outside and saw the servant with the knife uplifted, but not using it to kill the monk.

  Wang Gui’s anger rose. “I told you to kill him,” he exclaimed. “You have your knife but you’re too afraid to use it!” Then Wang Gui went inside with a knife to kill the monk himself. Just as he raised his knife, the monk pointed with his finger and used his hypnotic power to paralyze Wang Gui.

  “You are a good thing!” said the monk sarcastically. “You wanted to kill the monk, did you? I want you to realize my power.” With that he pointed again, and the waiters and servants standing outside were all unable to move.

  The monk then went to the east building to revive Lei Ming and Chen Liang. Putting a piece of medicine in some boiling water, he gave some to each of them, and in a little while both were revived. When he opened his eyes and saw Ji Gong standing there, Lei Ming quickly knelt and kowtowed. “Your disciple knew nothing,” he said. “I tried to kill you. Not only did you not take revenge, but also you came to rescue me with your great kindness. I wish to do penance.”

  “There will be no penance,” the monk said, “but there are two head-men with me that someone poisoned with Mongolian mandrake. They are both in the north building. I will give you two pieces of medicine and you two may go ahead and revive them. If they ask you any questions, tell them …” —and the monk whispered something to the two.

  The monk then went back into the north building and pretended to go to sleep. Chen Liang and Lei Meng went in and revived headmen Chai and She. The two headmen opened their eyes and one said, “Oh, so Master Lei and Master Chen are here. Where did you come from?”

  “We came from the Village of a Thousand Gates. We came here to spend the night at the inn. When no one answered our knock, we climbed in over the wall. We could see that the people of the inn were planning to kill you, so we quieted them down and came to your rescue.”

  When Headman Chai and Headman She saw that Ji Gong was still sleeping, they became quite angry. Headman Chai said, “This monk is now learning about pickpocketing, so he brought us here to this den of robbers. If it weren’t for you two, we would have lost our lives. You two had better get some more medicine ready and save this monk. After that, ask him about all this.”

  Chen Liang said,”There’s no more medicine.”

  “It’s in my shoe, idiot,” said the monk. “Shake it out and put some of it between my lips. I’m not done for.”

  Lei Ming and the rest began to laugh. Just then, the whole inn seemed to be in flames. A fire had started in the kitchen while it was unattended and was spreading to the other buildings.

  “Get those men out of here,” ordered the monk. They got the dazed robbers out into the street and left them with their wrists bound under the guard of the two headmen. Ji Gong called, “Save me! Save me!”

  Chen Liang and Lei Ming dashed back in and saw the monk standing in the flames. “I’m all right, but you will have to carry me,” he told them.

  Lei Ming got the monk on his back and Chen Liang helped hold up his feet, but the gate was now blocked by burning and falling timber. “We will have to go over the wall,” said Chen Liang.

  With great difficulty they managed to get the monk up on a corner shed and lower him down from the wall. Once on the ground he said, “I seem to be all right now. Headman Chai and Headman She can take those robbers to the local yamen. They have the authority and will be believed. We three had better get out of here or someone may think we started the fire.”

  After they had walked for some time, Chen Liang pulled at Lei Ming’s sleeve and the two fell back behind the monk. “Should we be walking with our teacher, or should we be walking separately?” asked Chen Liang.

  “What difference would it make?’ asked Lei Ming.

  “Brother, have you no eyes?” countered Chen Liang. “Why do you think he has been traveling with those two headmen? You are stronger than I am and more skillful with weapons. Yet you don’t seem to think about what’s going on. I think that the monk has brought those two head-men to help him take Cloud Dragon Hua. If we go with Teacher, then when we meet Cloud Dragon, shall we help Teacher to take him, or shall we help our brother Hua if he moves against our teacher?”

  Lei Ming thought about the matter. “Right. What shall we do?”

  “We must help him find Cloud Dragon, but then we must tell Cloud Dragon that the monk is trying to take him. That way we cannot go wrong,” said Chen Liang.

  “Good!” said Lei Ming. “Your ideas are always clearer than mine. This is the right idea.”

  Having finished their discussion, they caught up with Ji Gong. “Have you two talked everything over?” asked the monk.

  “We haved decided to help our teacher find Cloud Dragon Hua,” said Chen Liang.

  “Right,” the monk said, “and when you see this Hua, you will tell him that I want to catch him and that he had better be off quickly. Then you two will not be in the wrong. Isn’t that right?”

  “No, that isn’t right,” contradicted Chen Liang. “We will help him, but we must tell you.” Having said that, the two started to leave.

  “But where shall we meet?” asked the monk.

  “Wherever our teacher says,” answered Chen Liang.

  “Let us meet in Longyou in the New Moon Village,” the monk told them. Then he went off to meet the two headmen by himself.

  Chen Liang began to think about the monk’s having chosen New Moon Village. He thought to himself: “That’s no good. There are some friends of the Greenwood in New Moon Village. Cloud Dragon is likely to be there.” He told his fears to Lei Ming.

  But it was getting late and Longyou was still ten miles away. They stopped at an inn along the way and the next morning they arrived at New Moon Village. Approaching them from the opposite direction was a rather elegantly dressed young man wearing a cap with six sections. They immediately recognized the pale complexion and the heavy eyebrows and lashes that made one notice his lively, mocking eyes hinting at the desperate schemes running through the brain behind them. From one hand there dangled a bundle of freshly cut Chinese celery cabbage, and from the other a still slightly struggling fish. It was none other than Cloud Dragon Hua.

  CHAPTER 44

  Cloud Dragon Hua goes to New Moon Village; Black Tiger teaches at the ruined temple

  NOW, the reason why Lei Ming and Chen Liang saw Cloud Dragon Hua coming toward them as they entered the New Moon Village was as follows. In New Moon Village there was an older man with a chivalrous reputation named Ma Yuanzhang, nicknamed the Far-Traveling Bachelor. There was a special tradition in his family by which unusual martial-art skills had been passed down from generation to generation. Although ordinarily he never accepted any pupils, he did have two nephews to whom he had passed on some of his skills. One of them was named Ma Jing, nicknamed “the Black Tiger” because of his dark face. The other was named Ma Zeng, nicknamed “the Sea Dragon.” The two also carried on the family tradition of skill in the martial arts.

  The old warrior had been making forays out into the vast region of lakes, rivers, and streams surrounding New Moon Village and far beyond for a good number of decades. At those times he never associated with other men of the Greenwood. He had two male servants, one called Tan Hualong and the other called Zhou Lan, who was also known as Little White Tiger. None of the other people in the area knew that the two men, as well as their families, were members of the Greenwood.

  Ma Yuanzhang, the uncle, owned a small private temple where he behaved as if he had left the world, dressing in monk’s clothing when he was at home and reading books about Buddhism. He had never had any Buddhist instruction, and, of course, had no monk’s certificate. In fact, he really knew almost nothing about the essence of Buddhism. It
was all part of his disguise. Every year he would go away for long periods of time, telling one of his two servants to take care of the temple. During the months that he was absent, the two nephews, Ma Jing and Ma Zeng, would be in charge of all the family business.

  On these trips he would travel for hundreds of miles, each time to a different destination. There, he would set himself up as merchant, buying and selling goods. At the same time he would rob the homes of wealthy people in that area. When he had accumulated a certain amount of money and other valuables, he would close up his shop, and then, riding a mule and leading a donkey, return home. All the neighbors would learn that he was back from his travels.

  The nephew Ma Jing was also quite skilled in the martial arts, and he had made friends with a local man named Li Ping to whom he had taught karate. Li Ping’s friends soon started calling him the Red Panther. Li Ping’s younger brother was named Li An. Li Ping lived outside New Moon Village, where he kept a tavern for a living. It was the custom that out of the thirty-five men of the Greenwood in the area, a dozen or so gathered at Li Ping’s wine shop to drink and practice the martial arts. These men were all vagabonds, foxes pretending to be tigers, loitering about, with nothing bad that they would not hesitate to do. They all had nicknames such as “the Roaming Fox,” “the Bushy-Tailed Fox,” “the Black Ferret,” “the Inquisitive Badger,” and so forth.

  Outside New Moon Village there was an abandoned Daoist temple. There in its courtyard they would practice using swords and quarterstaves. They recognized Li Ping as their teacher. While other people practiced to make themselves strong and healthy, these people sharpened their abilities to polish the luster of their quarterstaves that they needed for performing their misdeeds.

  Li Ping was willing to teach them so that he could sell more wine. All of these bullies were so poor that, when they ate elsewhere, they would not pay the bill. When they drank at Li Ping’s, however, no one dared to leave without paying.