Adventures of the Mad Monk Ji Gong

by Guo Xiaoting

  He stood up, and when he reached home he said nothing. Two days passed. Then he told his wife, He Shi, “I must go to see a wealthy man. Please watch the house. Perhaps I will be gone a couple of months.” He took a great knife, said goodbye to his mother, and left home.

  To the south, a little more than a mile away, there was another village that had some shops. On the south side of the road that ran through it there was an inn. Ma Jing went in. Everyone knew him. Several people spoke up and asked why he was idling about. Ma Jing said, “Find me a room. My house is full of relatives and friends and I can’t stay there.”

  “Yes,” said the servant. “We will give you our largest room.”

  When Ma Jing went into his room, he ordered food and drink. His heart was sad indeed. After he had drunk several pots of wine, he called the servant and told him to take the tray. Then he lay down and slept. After a while he awoke and ate a bit, all the while thinking, “Cheating! A robber must find an unfaithful wife and an unfaithful wife must wed a robber! When I am away, she must go out again to meet whomever it is. I will take my knife and go to wait at the entrance to the east section—and, if I meet him, I will kill him with one slash of my knife.” And so he returned and waited at New Moon Village.

  He waited until the third watch but saw no one. He went up to the door of his house and looked. It was tightly closed. He leapt up to the rooftop and stealthily listened everywhere. There was no movement that he could detect. Then he returned to the hotel and called for someone to open the gate. When he reached his room in the hotel, he lay down and slept until daybreak. Then he had a drink and slept again.

  When it was dark again, he took the knife and returned to the entrance to the east section of his village. At the second watch he heard a man and woman talking and laughing. He moved closer. It was not his wife’s voice. “Go now, quickly,” he heard the woman say. “Last night I would have liked to ask you, but it was a women’s party and all the wives would have liked to see you, since it was very dull.”

  “They’re all doing it,” thought Ma Jing. Then he hid himself behind some trees near his house. Some time passed. Then he heard the footsteps of a single person walking very quickly, with a light step that almost flew. He could see someone of about thirty, who perhaps had a pale face. The man went up to Ma Jing’s gate and stopped. He looked for some time and it seemed that he wanted to knock at the gate, but was afraid or did not dare to. Ma Jing watched in the darkness. Then he saw the man walking back and forth and heard him saying to himself, “Ah! Ah! I would like to knock but I’m afraid that Brother Ma may not be at home. As dark as it is, I can’t see any pebble to throw.”

  When Ma Jing heard the man’s voice, he realized that it was someone with whom he was familiar and he went up closer to see. It was the River Rat, Cloud Dragon Hua. “Second Brother,” said Ma Jing, “where did you come from?”

  Cloud Dragon bowed to him and immediately fell to asking him, “But what are you doing out here in the dark, Brother Ma?”

  “I was waiting for someone,” said Ma Jing. “Let us go inside and sit.” The two leapt up and over the wall. Inside the courtyard Ma Jing opened the door of the east room. His wife, He Shi, heard them and got up and made tea for them. Ma Jing sat down with Hua Yun Long and again asked about where he had been.

  Cloud Dragon Hua told all about what he had done in the city of Linan, with one exception. He did not tell about how he had attempted to abduct a beautiful young nun from the nunnery, nor about how he had killed her with his knife when she refused to submit to him.

  “You may feel secure here, Brother Hua,” said Ma Jing. “No one will come here with a search warrant, and even if they should, I already have a walled cellar prepared for just such a situation. And I must tell you that I know the district magistrate and other local officials. They absolutely cannot come here. No one here knows that I am a member of the Greenwood.”

  “Very good,” said Cloud Dragon and he thanked Ma Jing.

  When day broke, the warming sun came forth. While the two were sitting down with tea and morning refreshments, there was a sudden clamor outside and the confused sound of many voices. Cloud Dragon was terrified, and turned pale with fright.

  “Don’t be afraid,” said Ma Jing. “I will go out and see about it.” As he opened the gate and looked out, he saw standing there fifty or sixty people. They included everyone from the families of the more well-to-do inhabitants of the area in and about New Moon Village.

  “Respected sir, how are you?” asked one. “We need you because of a certain problem. The question has nothing to do with you, but we have not been able to settle it. It concerns some certificates for duty paid upon imported mules and donkeys about to be sold in the local horse market. We have a legal contest that seems about to turn into an actual fight between these people. We have tried but failed to settle the question. Everyone here knows you and we think that you can settle our dispute.”

  “Very well,” replied Ma. “I ask you all to come in and sit down, even though the place is small and inconvenient. We will talk for two days, and if we are unable to come to an agreement, you can all leave and that will be it. Now I must go briefly to the inner courtyard and talk with my family.”

  In the inner courtyard he said to Cloud Dragon, “While I am busy helping these people to come to an agreement, someone has to take care of things here.” He gave Hua two ounces of silver and a large vegetable basket. “We will need fish, a couple of chickens, vegetables, and other things. I depend upon your kind help to go to the market. Just bring the things back and give them to my wife. Later, in a little while, I will come back and have a drink and something good to eat with you.”

  “Of course,” said Cloud Dragon. So he took the basket and went out into the market. He was just about to carry some things back when he saw Lei Ming and Chen Liang walking quickly toward him.

  Seeing him, Lei Ming was surprised. “Brother Hua, why have you not quickly fled?”

  “The senior monk of the Monastery of the Soul’s Retreat, Ji Gong, is behind us, coming to arrest you,” added Chen Liang.

  “Dear brothers,” said Cloud Dragon, “How have you been since we parted in the Village of a Thousand Gates, and how do you know that Ji Gong is coming to take me?”

  The two explained all that had happened and finally that Ji Gong was bringing two headmen with him. “He is following close behind us and he mentioned New Moon Village. He must have known that you would be here.”

  As Cloud Dragon listened, he began to feel worried. He thought of throwing away the market basket and running, but just then he saw Ma Jing coming. The three went up to him and saluted him respectfully. Ma Jing welcomed them. “Why don’t you come into the house instead of standing here in the street talking?”

  Again Lei Ming and Chen Liang told their story. “Never mind,” Ma Jing said. “It’s nothing to worry about. Why don’t my brothers Lei and Chen and Second Brother Hua all come with me?” And so the four went straight into Ma Jing’s home. Ma Jing took the things to the kitchen and they went to sit in the east room.

  Cloud Dragon turned to Ma Jing and said, “I have still not paid my respects to your old mother. Would you take me to see her?”

  “May we also?” asked Lei Ming and Chen Liang.

  “The old lady really is not very well,” replied Ma Jing. “Perhaps it is better not to disturb her. Why don’t you three rest and in a little while we will have something to eat and drink.” Then he asked Lei Ming and Chen Liang to tell their story in detail.

  As he listened, he began to laugh loudly. “My dear brothers! Do you simply believe that a monk with two headmen can capture Brother Hua here? Even if he had two hundred officers and soldiers, they could not take him. No one would dare to come in here. If he doesn’t come, that’s it. If he comes, I will take him first and take his life from him.”

  “Don’t say such things, Elder Brother,” said Lei Ming. “You don’t know the powers of Senior Monk Ji Gong. If you just say a word
, he can foretell the future. If you try to run out the front gate, he will be there at the front gate; if you try to run out the back gate, he will be waiting there for you. If you go east, he will be in the east, and if you go west, there he will be. There is no place where you can run that you will not be seized by him.”

  When Ma Jing heard these words, he struck the table with his fist and shouted, “Stop that insane behavior and calm yourselves. If he does come, look!” and he pointed at a scroll hanging on the east wall. “If I roll up the scroll and open the door in the wall behind it, there is a cellar inside where you can hide,” he said.

  These words had hardly been spoken when they heard someone outside knock on the door and say, “Is Cloud Dragon Hua in there? If he is, tell him to come out and see me, the monk.”

  When Lei Ming and Chen Liang heard these words, their faces turned pale and one said, “See, Elder Brother Ma, the monk has come.”

  Ma Jing simply rolled up the scroll and said, “You three go in there. I will take care of things myself.” There was nothing the three could do except go down into the cellar. Ma Jing rolled the scroll down and went outside to look around.

  Now, where did Ji Gong come from? After the two headmen had turned the people from the assassins’ inn over to the local yamen, the monk met the two and went on here and there until they were very hungry. Then they saw a small inn. The monk went in. Headman Chai said, “If the monk eats, we will eat, too,” so they also went inside. After they had eaten, the monk got up and walked out. He was gone for a long time. Headman Chai turned to the other headman and said, “Well, She, old fellow, we have eaten and the monk has gone, leaving us with no money to pay the bill. Let us leave now.” They could see the waiter coming with the bill. Just as they were about to walk out, suddenly there was the monk. “Very good! You walk out and leave us to pay the bill,” they said.

  “You two come with me,” said Ji Gong. “There is money to be made in the dark.”

  CHAPTER 47

  Ji Gong cracks an egg; Ma Jing has an unwelcome visitor

  WHEN Ji Gong and the two headmen, Chai and She, were eating together in the little wine shop, the headmen had finished before the monk. She got up first and said he was leaving. Chai started to follow him. “So you two are leaving me stuck with the table,” said the monk.

  “You did that to us last time,” said Chai. “This is just setting things up the other way around. There is no money and we are leaving,” and so the two went out.

  The waiter, who had overheard the conversation, noticed that the two men had left, and carefully watched the monk. As luck would have it, someone holding a bowl of mushroom soup bumped into a man coming in from outside. Crash! Splash! The bowl was broken and the soup spilled on the newcomer.

  One shouted, “You have spilled my soup!”

  The other shouted, “You have soaked my clothing!”

  Hot words soon led to blows and the place was in uproar. While the waiter was watching what was happening, the monk left and met the two headmen outside in the village street.

  “Well done,” said the monk. “You went off and left me.”

  “Just as you did with us,” said Headman Chai.

  “Right,” said the monk, “so now we’re even.”

  “But how did you get out?” they asked.

  “I had the owner charge the bill to my account,” answered the monk.

  “So they knew you,” said Chai, “and let you charge it.”

  “Never mind about that,” said Ji Gong. “However, I have an idea. I will hide, and if you find me, I will give you breakfast tomorrow morning. If you cannot find me, then you can give me breakfast.”

  “Not a bad idea,” commented Chai. So the monk hid, but the two men could not find him, because in the dark he slipped away to New Moon Village. When morning came, the monk went up to Li Ping’s wineshop. The waiter was just opening the blinds.

  The monk quickly walked in and noticed that there were six tables, on each of which there were four small dishes. One dish was filled with eggs, one with slices of dried bean curd, one with large boiled beans, and one with dried melon seeds. He chose a table and sat down, took a boiled egg, and cracked the shell against the table. Then he called for the owner.

  The waiter came and said, “Monk, you’re up bright and early, cracking eggs and calling for the owner. Are you looking for trouble?”

  “What do you charge for eggs this big?” asked the monk.

  “Eggs this big sell for several cash,” replied the waiter.

  “I asked how many cash for these eggs,” said the monk.

  “Six cash apiece,” said the waiter.

  “And how much for each slice of dried bean curd?”

  “Three cash each,” the waiter replied.

  “And this plate of boiled beans? You could probably sell that for a whole string of cash. Cooking them must be a lot of work for you,” said Ji Gong.

  “Monk, you are very kindhearted,” said the waiter, “but when we boil the beans, the skin comes off automatically.”

  “Oh, we’re automatic, are we?” said the monk.

  “Monk, don’t joke about being automatic,” said the waiter.

  “I was only talking about the beans,” said the monk. “Bring me a pot of tea.” The waiter brought the tea and the monk ate and drank. Then he asked for the check. The waiter made out a check for 256 cash. “Write it on my account,” said the monk.

  “You came in here bright and early and knew all along that when you were finished eating, you wouldn’t have the money to pay the check. That won’t do, monk,” said the waiter.

  “You simply write it up. How is it that you can’t do that?” asked the monk.

  While the two men were arguing, Li Ping came in from the back room and asked, “Waiter, what’s going on?”

  “He ate and drank and won’t pay,” the waiter explained.

  “You don’t carry any money, monk, and you just sit down and eat and drink?” asked Li Ping.

  “I am waiting here at this wine shop for someone—someone you know very well. He asked me to come here and have something while I waited. If not, I wouldn’t have eaten or drunk anything. I’ve waited for him for a long time and he has not arrived. This is why I have not paid.”

  “When did you make this appointment?” asked Li Ping.

  “Last year,” said the monk.

  “And where was this appointment made?” Li Ping queried further.

  “Along the road,” answered the monk.

  “And what was the name of the person who made this appointment?” Li Ping continued with his questioning.

  “I have forgotten,” answered the monk.

  Li Ping had been thinking that if the monk mentioned the name of a person who was well known, he would not have to ask the monk for money but could just let him go. Now, however, he said, “You’re talking nonsense, monk.”

  “No, I’m not talking nonsense because I can cure all sorts of illnesses, both internal and external. It doesn’t matter whether the person who is ill is male or female, old or young, I can cure everything. This person asked me to cure an illness, but I have forgotten his name.”

  When Li Ping heard that the monk could cure illnesses, he thought of his younger brother, Li An, whose sickness had reached a critical stage. Li Ping said to himself, “If this monk could cure my brother, wouldn’t that be wonderful!” Aloud, Li Ping said, “Since you can cure illnesses, can you cure my younger brother, who is very ill?”

  The monk said, “I can.”

  “If you can really cure him,” said Li Ping, “not only will I not ask you to pay your bill, but I will buy you a new set of clothes.”

  “You’re very kind,” said the monk.

  Li Ping led the monk into the back room. At one glance, the monk took in the condition of Li An lying on the brick platform bed. His breathing could not be heard. His face was like white paper, with not a trace of color. His eyes were open, his nose moist, and his ears dry. Li An was still
a tender youth. Li Ping had been trying to take care of him, and that was why he had brought him to his wine shop. Unexpectedly, Li An’s illness had grown worse. As the monk looked at him, Li Ping asked, “Can you cure him, monk?”

  “I can cure him, replied the monk. “I have some medicine here.” With that, the monk took out a large pill.

  “What medicine is that?” asked Li Ping.

  “This is called the stiff legs and staring eyes pill,” replied Ji Gong.

  “It is not a pleasant name,” said Li Ping.

  “If a person takes this medicine, it cures the stiff legs and staring eyes, but let me tell you, this is not like ordinary medicine. It cures all sort of sicknesses, and that is why it has this strange name,” the monk explained.

  The monk took the pill and crushed it and mixed it with water. “No! No!” said Li An as he watched, but the monk pointed at him, and as he opened his mouth wide, the monk poured the mixture down his throat.

  In a short time the boy felt some movement in his stomach and then experienced a feeling of energy as the blood coursed through his veins. His color returned. He felt as if he were on a high mountaintop with a fresh breeze blowing. “Good medicine! It is like the pill of immortality!” Li An exclaimed. He sat up and he was thirsty. After he drank, he wanted food.

  Li Ping’s heart was filled with happiness at seeing this change. “Teacher,” he said, “this is wonderful medicine, in spite of its strange name.”

  “It is also called the pill that calls to life, because even if the soul has almost left the body, this pill will call it back again,” the monk explained. “Your younger brother was near death, but he has been called back to life.”

  “That is true,” said Li Ping. “But Teacher, since you can cure sicknesses, I must tell you that the mother of my closest friend, Ma Jing, is also very ill. Could you cure her as well?”

  I could—it is really nothing,” said the monk. “It is just that unless they ask, I can do nothing. If I went, they might not let me in. That would be very embarrassing.”