The Wrong Lawyer

by Donald W. Desaulniers

  “What a fantastic evening, Jim! I’ve been attending plays regularly ever since I moved to Kingston, and this was my first brush with the inner circle of the theatrical crowd. I don’t want the night to end yet. Can I entice you to come up to my place for a coffee?”

  “Of course, Lynne; that would be lovely. I’m so pleased that you enjoyed yourself.”

  “You knew loads more people there than I did. Do you go to a lot of plays?”

  “No, this is the first one I’ve attended in years. Most of the patrons who seemed to know me were actually people I had sued at some point in the past. That’s why they remembered me.”

  “They all treated you with the utmost respect,” Lynne replied.

  “All that means is that they’re good actors themselves. I’m sure they all despised me as soon as it dawned on them where they had heard my name before, but they were too wary to let any animosity show through their forced smiles. Most people are scared shitless of lawyers.”

  Lynne made Baileys coffees and they sat together on the sofa and talked and talked.

  When Lynne suggested a second spiked coffee, Jim answered, “That’s so tempting Lynne, but I’d better not since I have to drive home.”

  “Then why don’t you stay over?” she replied coquettishly.

  Jim smiled.

  “What a delightfully naughty idea? I’d love to.”

  As Lynne brought the fresh drinks out from the kitchen, Jim was mesmerized by her luscious lips as they moved suggestively while Lynne spoke and smiled.

  A few minutes later Jim was tasting those beautiful lips and not long thereafter was feasting on the entire banquet.

  CHAPTER 9 (Unwelcome Company)

  I didn’t hear from Corbett until Saturday morning when he woke me at eight o’clock and suggested that we go out for breakfast.

  We went to Molly’s Diner again but this time Corbett drove his Cadillac Escalade and parked in such a way as to take up two spaces. That was his way of preventing unwanted dents on his precious vehicle.

  “What have you been up to this week?” I asked innocently. “Did you take Lynne out for dinner on Tuesday?”

  “I’ve spent the entire week with her,” Corbett smirked. “I’m totally smitten. She could be the one.”

  “Wow, that’s great! What sort of things did you do?”

  “On Monday night we went to that play I had mentioned.”

  “You loathe plays. Was this one okay?”

  “I hated it but Lynne adored it. I took her to that new Indian restaurant behind the courthouse on Tuesday and it was very nice there. You should consider taking Linda there tonight.”

  “I might do that. I love Indian food and I’ll ask Linda if she likes it too.”

  “On Wednesday evening Lynne cooked dinner at her place and then I reciprocated on Thursday night.”

  “You actually cooked a meal?” I asked dubiously.

  “Of course, and it turned out beautifully. Last night we attended another play. I guess I’ll have to develop a taste for theatre because Lynne almost worships that sort of thing.”

  “I’m really pleased to hear that the two of you have hit it off so well, Jim. Have you met the parents?”

  “Yes, and they’re just fine with me. Lynne said they disapproved of you solely because they think it’s too early for Linda to date.”

  “I hope they’ll change their minds. Linda is great company.”

  Probably because we had women on the brain, Corbett and I didn’t trade a single insult during or after breakfast.

  When I got back to my condo, the phone was ringing. It was Linda calling from her cell phone.

  “Can I come over and talk with you, Tom? I’m sitting in my car just down the street from your place.”

  “Sure, Linda, I just got back from breakfast with Corbett. I’ll buzz you up.”

  A couple of minutes later Linda was at door but looked quite distressed.

  “You look like you’ve got the weight of the world on your shoulders, Linda. Is anything wrong?”

  “My life just got horribly complicated and I needed someone to talk to about it.”

  “Let’s sit on the couch,” I suggested as I led her to the settee and held her hand after we had sat down. “Okay, Linda, tell me what monkey wrench got thrown into your life. Did your house sale not close?”

  “No, it finally closed very late yesterday afternoon and the money is now sitting safely in my bank. It’s Jeremy. His girlfriend threw him out of their apartment last weekend and I found him living back in my house when I arrived in Ottawa on Monday. He was very difficult and refused to leave the house unless I let him come live here with my parents and me. I had hoped that Jeremy would patch things up with Becky and move back in with her, but that didn’t happen so he came back to Kingston with me last night.”

  “What do Lionel and Bernice think of this new arrangement?” I asked.

  “They detest it but I’ve promised to find my own place right away.”

  “Will you let Jeremy live with you?”

  “I hate that idea,” Linda spat out. “He’ll be thirty years old in a few months and Jeremy can be quite abusive with me when he’s in a bad mood.”

  “Have you considered setting him up in a cheap apartment somewhere?”

  “I may have to even though I’m not sure if I can really afford to have him dependent on me again.”

  “You said that Jeremy worked at a call center in Ottawa.”

  “He got the sack a month ago but never told me. That’s one of the reasons Becky kicked him out. Without his income, she couldn’t afford to pay the rent and buy drugs for both of them.”

  “Will Jeremy be able to collect unemployment?”

  “Apparently my son got the boot for cause. I phoned Becky in an attempt to get them back together and she told me the whole story. Jeremy has a habit of lying to avoid criticism. Becky said that he stole some cash from the purses of some of his fellow workers and the boss caught him in the act. They didn’t lay charges since all the cash was recovered, but there’s no chance of Jeremy getting that job back or any letter of reference. To make matters worse, Jeremy hasn’t worked enough hours in the past year to quality for unemployment insurance. It seems that I’ll be his sole source of income for the time being.”

  “I’m so sorry to hear all this, Linda.”

  “Oh, Tom, that’s not even the worst of the mess I find myself in right now.”

  “Really! What can be worse than funding an unwelcome house guest?”

  Linda began to cry.

  I put my arms around her to comfort her until Linda composed herself.

  She eased herself away, stood up and then began pacing back and forth in front of me.

  I was most curious to learn what other terrible news had befallen her. Having an adult brat barging in to leech off his mother seemed about as bad as anything could get.

  “Tom, I’m getting dreadful pressure from my parents and now also from Jeremy not to go out with you again. They’ve made me feel terribly guilty and slutty for seeing you last weekend. It’s intolerable to live with them under those circumstances but it’s going to take me a while to find a suitable place to rent or buy, so I have to stay with my parents for the time being, especially now that Jeremy had thrust himself onto the scene. I feel so badly telling you this because I really like you but I have to cancel our date tonight.”

  A feeling of deflation engulfed me.

  Kissing Linda last Sunday had revived long dormant feelings of passion and I had been fantasizing not just about making love to her but also about developing a permanent relationship.

  Now my new-found romance was being jerked away like some carrot on a string.

  I recalled previous situations from years ago in which I had acted childishly or rudely when a girl dumped me. My self-disgust at my inappropriate reactions back then prompted me to behave myself this time around. Wisdom does sometimes come with age.

  I decided to toss a bit of humor into
the situation.

  “I understand completely, Linda. Please don’t beat yourself up about it. I really like your company too. When your distressing family circumstances eventually get worked out, we can have a belated celebration. Being retired for a year is pretty meaningless when you think about it and not worthy of a celebration.”

  “I’m so relieved that you’re so understanding, Tom. I feel like a right witch.”

  “Don’t worry about it, Linda. I’m sure I can get at least a partial refund of the large deposit I put down with the wedding planner.”

  That remark did the trick and Linda burst out laughing.

  “You’re so extraordinarily nice, Tom. Please don’t give up on me. I’m determined to get my family affairs sorted out quickly.”

  I stood up and walked with Linda to the apartment door.

  Before I had a chance to pull the door open, Linda put her arms around my neck and said, “Happy one-year retirement anniversary, Tom.”

  Then she kissed me passionately.

  When she finally pulled away, Linda whispered breathlessly in my ear, “I hope my naughty little gesture will help you remember that we have some delicious unfinished business to anticipate.”

  She smiled teasingly and then Linda was gone.

  CHAPTER 10 (Coping With Rejection)

  I wasn’t sure what to make of Linda’s cancellation of our date, but I felt badly enough that I didn’t want to discuss it immediately with Corbett.

  Trying to be philosophical about the situation, I consoled myself with the thought that, unless Linda was merely a great actress, she genuinely seemed to like me. If so, then the possibility of finding romance in my future with her was not completely dead and buried.

  I had been anticipating savoring a great meal at the new Indian restaurant that evening.

  After pondering the matter for an hour or so, I called the place and made a reservation for myself for seven o’clock.

  Despite what I had said to Linda in an effort to make her feel better, completing a full year in retirement was a significant milestone and I wanted to celebrate the accomplishment.

  For one thing, not one single problem had cropped up from my law practice since I closed my doors. Because I had tempted fate and opted not to purchase any extra negligence insurance from the Law Society, the absence of new claims meant that I had so far made the right choice and had already saved $655 in premiums.

  The disquieting feeling of rejection slowing began permeating my thoughts during the course of the afternoon, and by the time I walked to the Silk Route Indian restaurant, I was bordering on depression.

  When the young hostess greeted me at the entrance, I was downright down on myself.

  “Table for one for Kennedy,” I muttered. “If possible, I’d like to be placed at the worst table in the room.”

  The pretty young girl looked at me oddly but when she saw that I wasn’t smiling, she recovered her poise and replied, “Certainly, sir; please follow me.”

  She certainly knew the layout well, because I was taken to a tiny table squeezed in between the washroom entrance and the swinging doorway into the kitchen.

  “This will be perfect,” I advised the girl as I sat down with my back to the kitchen door.

  The establishment was already quite busy and as I glanced around, I spotted three familiar couples, two of which were former clients and the third being a fellow attorney sitting with his wife and a younger couple.

  When my server showed up, I ordered an Indian beer and decided that I’d not scrimp on the booze this evening. There are some moods that can only be drowned with copious amounts of alcohol.

  The hostess had certainly chosen this table well. Overzealous waiters regularly threw the swinging door wide open as they emerged from the kitchen and the back of my chair got bumped.

  The first time it happened really startled me, and I let out a groan, but thereafter I began a game. Whenever I got bumped I called out a letter to whichever server bothered to stop and apologize.

  If they had the sense to put their heads together, they would have deduced that over the course of the evening I spelled out the word “LOSER” letter by letter.

  As a special treat to my stomach, which I greatly regretted later when I was trying to get to sleep, I ordered the Beef Vindaloo as spicy hot as they could make it.

  It was almost impossible to eat, but with the assistance of numerous bottles of cold Indian beer, I ate every indigestion-causing morsel.

  To add further indignity to my little pity-fest, at some point in the evening every person in the place who knew me used the restroom at least once and stopped to chat.

  It does wonders for one’s self-esteem to be seen dining alone in an expensive restaurant on a Saturday night.

  It didn’t help my mood to realize that Corbett was literally having a ball with Lynne tonight while I sat with all my friends celebrating my first solid year of loneliness.

  In my shabby little daydreams over the past week, I had regularly entertained the possibility that I might actually get lucky with Linda as our date night drew to a close this evening.

  Reality can be such a downer.

  My dinner came to an even hundred bucks including tip. It was by far the most expensive meal I’d ever eaten alone.

  I toyed with the idea of taking a taxi home but chose not to spend the few dollars. I wasn’t worth the luxury of a comfortable ride.

  As I walked home, it began to rain lightly but I hardly noticed. The hot spices in my stomach were easily defeating the cold beer and my entire innards felt like they were on fire.

  Sleep was impossible so I got back up out of bed and fired up the computer.

  Despite being more than three-quarters pissed, I got on the Expedia travel website and looked at flights to Las Vegas departing early next week.

  Perhaps a few days away from Kingston would restore my equilibrium. I decided to take a closer look at the flights in the morning.

  Escape was my method of choice to cope with Linda’s rejection of me.

  CHAPTER 11 (Envy)

  After chewing about a dozen Tums, I finally drifted off to sleep around two o’clock.

  My stomach was still on fire when I woke up at nine. A cold shower didn’t do anything to penetrate the inner heat.

  After I got dressed, I noticed that my computer was still on.

  Imagine my surprise when I saw that drunken me had booked a holiday without my permission.

  Just then there was a knock on my door.

  It was Corbett and Lynne together.

  “Hi guys, come on in,” I announced cheerily. “Would you like some coffee?”

  Corbett explained their presence while I made the coffee.

  “Lynne stayed over with me last night, Tom. This morning she called her sister to see how your date went and found out that Linda had cancelled on you. We just wanted to make sure that you were coping okay.”

  “Yeah, I’m soldiering on,” I answered. “I did have supper at that new Indian place last night after all to celebrate my first year of retirement.”

  I turned to Lynne.

  “Did Linda tell you why she had to bail on me?”

  “No; our parents were in the room with her when I called. What happened?”

  “Jeremy came back to Kingston to live with Linda. He got booted out of the apartment by his girlfriend, and also managed to lose his job at the call center. Your parents and Jeremy both criticized Linda mercilessly for dating so soon after Paul’s death so she cancelled our date in order to keep the peace in the family.”

  “That little bastard is going to be the death of my sister,” Lynne snapped. “I know that she was really looking forward to seeing you. Did the two of you have a fight over Jeremy?”

  “Of course not; I fully understand why Linda felt she shouldn’t go out with me. I expect that we will see each other again once she gets Jeremy sorted out and finds her own place to live. Linda’s house sale in Ottawa closed without a glitch so she’s now
in a position to look at houses or apartments here in Kingston.”

  Corbett could read me like a book and knew that I wasn’t telling the whole story, but he was kind enough not to pursue the matter while Lynne was present.

  Over coffee they told me all about their date last night. They had driven over to Alexandria Bay and ate at a fancy spot there called Cavalario’s.

  This afternoon they were attending some function at Queen’s University which included a dinner after the ceremony.

  It was clear even to me that they were falling for each other, and I felt quite envious.

  Jim drove Lynne home once we had finished our coffee but he knocked on my door again twenty minutes later.

  By then I had looked over the trip confirmation which I must have printed in the wee hours of the morning when I booked my holiday.

  I was flying out of Syracuse on Tuesday morning with a connection in Washington, and returning via the same route but in reverse on Saturday. My flight wouldn’t arrive back in Syracuse until very late on Saturday night, and I had also booked a room at the Four Queens in downtown Las Vegas for the four nights.

  Jim and I sat in the living-room and he said, “Are you upset about what transpired yesterday?”

  “I am disappointed but Linda is stuck in an awkward position right now. Defying her parents by dating me does seem foolish enough, but antagonizing Jeremy at the same time would be nuts. He sounds like the kid from Hell. I guess my timing is just bad. On the other hand, you and Lynne seem to be hitting it off like a house on fire.”

  “We’re great for each other and I’m really happy right now. Did you enjoy your dinner last night?”

  “It was a fiasco,” I joked and then told him about my poorly situated table for one as well as running into several people I knew.

  “Why would you ask for the worst table in the place?”

  “I was just in that kind of mood and the evening cooperated perfectly from start to finish. It began to rain as I staggered home with the world’s worst case of indigestion. Then, to top off a dismal night, I couldn’t get to sleep. It does appear, however, that I did manage to salvage the celebration in the end.”