by Kylie Chan
Gold and Leo rushed back down the stairs and to the side of the bus. Leo unlatched the luggage compartment and slid the door up. The luggage compartment was the full length and width of the bus beneath the seats. Michelle lay bound and gagged inside, her hands in front of her clutching Gold’s alarm which was still shrilling inside him. When Michelle saw Gold and Leo she visibly relaxed, and lay prone inside the bus.
Leo crawled inside and carefully manoeuvred Michelle so that he could pass her to Gold, who set her on the ground. Together they untied her gag and released her hands and feet. Leo rubbed them to bring the circulation back.
Jade walked down out of the bus in human form, her green silk suit as crisp as ever and not a hair out of place in her bun. ‘All fixed. That was fun.’ She saw Michelle. ‘Are you all right, ma’am?’
Leo studied Michelle, holding her hands. ‘Michelle?’ Michelle appeared semi-conscious, her head lolling and her eyes half-closed. ‘Michelle, speak to me.’ He turned to Gold. ‘We need to take her home. Can you teleport her, or whatever it is that you do, without anybody seeing?’
‘I can’t teleport her, it would hurt the baby,’ Gold said.
‘Is my baby all right?’ Michelle said weakly.
Gold surreptitiously used his inner eye to check the child. ‘The baby is fine, ma’am, she hasn’t been affected by this at all. All you need is some rest, and you’ll be fine too, you just had a bit of a scare, that’s all.’
Michelle stared at Gold. Then she threw herself into Leo’s arms and held him. ‘Take me home, Leo.’ She waved one hand at Gold, still clutching Leo. ‘And leave these creatures behind. I don’t wish to see them ever again.’
Leo hoisted Michelle and held her like a child. ‘I’ll take you home.’
Michelle glared at Gold from Leo’s arms. ‘Go away, and never come back. I never want to see you again!’ She looked up at Leo. ‘Put me down, Leo, I can walk. Let’s go home.’ She leaned on Leo as he guided her back to the car park.
Jade and Gold moved to follow and she turned and glared at them. ‘Go away!’
‘It might be a good idea to come home a little later, guys,’ Leo said. ‘Just stay away for an hour or so, and come up then.’
‘Never!’ Michelle shouted, waving at Gold and Jade without turning. ‘Never come back!’
Leo shrugged. ‘Come up in about an hour.’ He guided Michelle into the car-park lift.
Jade glared at Gold. ‘Excellent work, Big Mouth Stone.’
‘I know,’ Gold said with misery.
‘She’s going to hate you for a long time, Gold. We’ve probably lost our jobs over this.’
Gold shrugged wryly. ‘Well, at least she knows for sure now that it’s not a reptile. And that it’s a girl.’
‘After all the fuss she made about not knowing whether it was a boy or a girl.’
They hung around the Peak, Gold regularly checking with Leo by mobile phone to make sure Michelle was okay.
About forty-five minutes later, Gold received a text message from Leo’s phone through his stone lattice: Come home, M in labour.
When they returned to the Peak, they heard Leo and Michelle loudly arguing in the master bedroom. ‘It’s not time yet, Leo,’ Michelle said, exasperated.
‘That’s beside the point, Michelle,’ Leo said, as if he’d been explaining this for a long time. ‘Your contractions are ten minutes apart. We have to go now.’
‘But it’s not due for two weeks!’
‘Two weeks either side is normal!’
Michelle shrieked, and Gold and Jade raced into the room.
Leo leaned over her, stroking her shoulders. ‘Breathe, Michelle, remember your lessons.’
Michelle nodded, her face strained. She saw Gold and Jade. ‘Get Lo Wu!’
‘I’ll take her downstairs, you get the Dark Lord,’ Jade said. She went to Michelle.
‘Wait until the contraction is done…’ Leo studied Michelle carefully. ‘There. Walk her slowly down, take the elevator.’
Jade turned to Leo and Gold. ‘Go, both of you, I’ll bring her down.’
Leo raced out the door to get the car. Gold followed him. ‘Leo, wait, I’ll transport you down.’
Leo hesitated, then nodded. Gold took his hand, and transported him directly to the car park. Leo swayed slightly, disoriented from the travel, then shook himself and ran to the car. He turned to Gold. ‘Well, go get Mr Chen. If he misses this he’ll kill us.’
Gold dropped his head and disappeared.
THE TIGER’S HAREM
1804
But Gold didn’t grumble too much as he continued with the towels he had been carrying between the laundry and the Seraglio. The Tiger’s wives seemed to use every towel taken almost immediately. They spent most of their time bathing, hoping that the Tiger would wander past, see them, and invite one or two of them for a small dalliance.
Unfortunately Gold saw the women all the time and, due to the particular way he’d been bound, he couldn’t even tell them about their obvious charms. He wasn’t just frustrated; he was way through frustration and out the other side.
But he had decided to work hard and serve his sentence with good humour. Perhaps when he was released he would be able to return and tell the Tiger’s wives exactly what he’d been thinking as he’d carried the towels through the harem.
Gold placed the towels on a side table, and quickly floated in stone form to the gardens and the side of the pool, where Bai Hu the Tiger awaited in his True Form.
Gold cast around and saw a couple of Horsemen guarding the gates that led through the three-metre high wall separating the pool deck from the desert plain. One of them carried a large sword, a suitable weapon. He approached the Horsemen, floating at eye level.
‘May I borrow your blade?’ he asked the Horseman with the sword.
‘Certainly,’ the Horseman said. He pulled the blade from its scabbard at his side, and held it out.
‘Thank you,’ Gold said. ‘I need to kill a snake with it, then I’ll give it right back.’
‘You do that,’ the Horseman said with obvious amusement. The Horseman at the other side of the gate made a strange hissing sound, and Gold glanced at him, but his face was rigid.
Gold couldn’t shrug in stone form. He turned and moved towards the edge of the pool, the sword floating behind him.
The Tiger had been wise to choose Gold to kill the snake; Gold could move silently in stone form, floating, and still wield the blade with reasonable accuracy.
The snake was a monster, more than two metres long, stretched out on the gold-coloured pavers that edged the pool. It appeared to be a cobra, but was a shiny black from its blunt nose to its pointed tail. It seemed to be sleeping in the sunshine.
Gold approached the snake from behind, moved to the side next to its head, and raised the blade.
It had a deep, masculine hiss.
‘The Tiger ordered me to kill you,’ Gold said. He had been bound, and was unable to move. ‘I didn’t know you were a Shen, I thought you were a natural snake. My apologies. Would you mind leaving the poolside? The Tiger would like to bring some of his wives in, and he is concerned that you would frighten them.’
Something black and enormous that Gold hadn’t noticed before stirred at the bottom of the pool beside the snake. ‘The Tiger ordered you to kill me, eh?’ the snake said.
‘Yes, sir,’ Gold said, distracted by the water surging in the pool. The large dark thing in the pool approached the surface; it was oval, and nearly five metres long. Gold made another attempt to move but was still bound.
As Xuan Wu and Gold approached, the Tiger obviously couldn’t contain his mirth any more and roared with laughter over the top of the antelope. He laughed so hard he rolled onto his back, his paws in the air, the snow-white fur of his belly rippling as his sides heaved.
Xuan Wu flopped onto one of the deck chairs and gestured towards Gold without looking at him. ‘Go to the kitchen and bring me something cold to drink. Non-alcoholic.’
>
‘Sir,’ Gold said.
‘You’ve failed me, Gold,’ the Tiger wheezed with delight, still on his back with his paws in the air. ‘I ordered you to kill that goddamn snake, and instead you’re going to serve it drinks.’
‘And vegetarian ho fan,’ Xuan Wu said.
‘Sir,’ Gold said.
‘Go,’ Xuan Wu said.
‘Sir,’ Gold squeaked, and floated away to the kitchen as quickly as his stone form could carry him.
‘Cut the laughing and make some vegetarian ho fan for the Dark Lord,’ Gold snapped loudly. ‘And he wants something cold and non-alcoholic to drink.’
The demons didn’t stop laughing as they hurried to prepare the noodles.
One of the demons, in the form of a teenage girl, approached Gold. ‘How close did you come to cutting off the Serpent’s head?’ she said with a huge grin.
‘I wish I’d seen that,’ one of the other demons shouted from the other side of the kitchen.
‘He knew I was coming from a mile off,’ Gold said. ‘He was just waiting to see what I’d do.’
‘It wasn’t your fault, Gold,’ she said, still smiling. ‘It was Lord Bai Hu’s idea.’
‘I didn’t even see the Turtle at the bottom of the pool,’ Gold said, miserable.
The demons all laughed again.
‘Better be careful what you say near Lord Xuan Wu,’ an older demon said as he approached. ‘You’ve already managed to insult him by not recognising him. No turtle words, Gold. I know what you’re like, and if you insult the Dark Lord then the trouble you’re in now will be nothing compared to what he could do to you.’
‘I’ve never seen him,’ the young female demon said. ‘What does he look like?’
‘His human form is a tall man with long hair,’ Gold said. ‘Black eyes.’
‘Did you see his True Form?’ she said. ‘You saw the Serpent? Did you see the Xuan Wu, the whole thing?’
Gold floated slightly higher, enjoying her rapt attention. ‘The Serpent was lying on the poolside, then the Turtle came out of the water and I saw them join together. I saw the whole majestic Xuan Wu.’
‘How powerful is he?’ she said. She turned to the older male demon. ‘I’ve heard he’s very powerful. He’s the Spirit of the North. How powerful is he?’
‘He is second in power and majesty only to the Celestial One, the Jade Emperor Himself,’ the male demon said with deference. ‘He is First Celestial General. He commands the Armies of the Thirty-Six. He wields the Blade of Seven Stars. He is the mightiest demon destroyer in existence…’
The young female demon’s eyes were huge.
‘He is Sovereign of the Four Winds,’ Gold said, grabbing back her attention. ‘He commands the other three spirits: the White Tiger of the West, the Red Phoenix of the South, and the Azure Dragon of the East.’
‘He’s the Tiger’s lord,’ the older male demon said.
‘You don’t get much bigger than him without entering the Celestial Palace itself,’ Gold said. ‘And he spends most of his time there, anyway. He is Right Hand to the Jade Emperor.’
‘He spends a lot of time here, too,’ the older male demon said. ‘He and the Lord Bai Hu are very good friends.’
‘I didn’t know that,’ Gold said. ‘And the Tiger took advantage of my ignorance.’
‘Well, from what I’ve heard, Gold, that would be poetic justice for you.’
Gold stopped at that. ‘I suppose you’re right,’ he said softly.
‘Learn some humility or you’ll join your dad,’ the Tiger growled. ‘Wait here, you can bring me some wives later.’
‘My Lord.’ Gold moved to one side and settled on the ground, resting in the afternoon sun. The sun warmed his golden veins and he nearly sighed with bliss.
‘A group of missionaries from the West invaded one of my establishments in Sichuan,’ the Tiger said. ‘They have some interesting ideas about the nature of the universe. I’m always making plans to spend more time on the Earthly plane and gather information about this, but then find something better to do here on the Celestial.’
‘Don’t harm any Westerners if you can avoid it,’ Xuan Wu said. ‘The increasing conflict between the Qing and the traders from the West is causing us a great deal of concern.’
The Tiger stretched on the paving and curled his tail around his hind legs. ‘China has no need for them. We are large and mighty. They are small and divided. They have nothing that we need.’
‘They are well aware of that. But they love our tea.’
The Tiger chuckled. ‘Good luck to them. So do we.’
‘Chinese tea is selling for a small fortune in the West, Ah Bai,’ Xuan Wu said, stirring the noodles with his chopsticks. ‘The traders see the possibility of great profits and are looking for all possible avenues to tap into this market.’
‘They can buy as much tea as they want, provided they pay for it in silver or gold.’
‘They are. They pay for the tea with silver.’
The Tiger pulled himself slightly more upright. ‘And where are they mining this silver from?’
‘Southern China,’ Xuan Wu said. ‘Guangdong. Fukien. Chaozhou provinces.’
‘There’s no silver to be had there, Ah Wu,’ the Tiger said. ‘What are you talking about?’
‘They grow opium in India. They sell the opium in Southern China, they sell it for silver. Then they use the silver to buy tea. The streets of Guangdong province are lined with opium houses.’
The Tiger flicked one ear. ‘This is very bad news, Ah Wu.’
‘The Qing Emperor is planning to outlaw the sale of opium. The Western traders are willing to go to war for the right to sell it.’
‘This is extremely bad. Because of the reign of the previous emperor and his corrupt little boyfriend, China’s army is almost useless.’
‘I am seriously considering intervening,’ Xuan Wu said to the noodles.
‘You’re not the only one,’ the Tiger growled. ‘I will not see our Middle Kingdom invaded by them.’
‘The Jade Emperor will shortly issue an edict.’ Xuan Wu leaned back and studied the Tiger intensely. ‘No Celestial may intervene in Earthly affairs. We will watch and wait. But we do not like where this is heading.’
‘If we sit back and wait then it may be too late,’ the Tiger said. ‘The Qing Empire is becoming more corrupt all the time. The Empire is failing, Ah Wu, it is time for Divine Mandate to be removed from this dynasty. If the Empire is weak then the Westerners may see their chance to move in.’
‘We will only intervene as a last resort. Only if it appears that the entire Empire will fall,’ Xuan Wu said. ‘Even then, we will hesitate. It is not our place.’
The Tiger sighed, shook his shaggy head, and flopped back down to lie on the paving.
Xuan Wu placed the chopsticks back onto the table. ‘I’ve been summoned by the Jade Emperor. The Celestial wants to see me. Duty calls.’
‘My Lord,’ the Tiger said, bobbing his head.
Xuan Wu disappeared.
‘Gold,’ the Tiger said.
‘My Lord?’ Gold said.
‘Seventy-six. Fifty-eight. Sixty. Seventy-three. Oh, and what the hell, the new one. Eighty-one. She’ll have to learn to share eventually, might as well start teaching her now.’
‘My Lord,’ Gold said, and drifted away to collect the Tiger’s five selected wives.
William growled, his eyes blazing. ‘Nothing will undo the fact that we were made a laughing stock by you.’ He turned away to hide the pain in his face. ‘Everybody on the Celestial plane knows what you did, and knows what we did. Everybody knows. They still laugh when they see me coming.’ He glared at Gold. ‘Even the wives joke about me, they call me the “little stone’s toy”.’
Gold dropped slightly in the air. ‘I didn’t realise it was so bad for you.’
‘I’ve been in constant contact with Jade, trying to talk her out of killing herself,’ William said. ‘She wants to make a trip through Hell, she wants
to suffer. She says that anything she would be subjected to at the hands of Hell’s demons would be nothing compared to the treatment she receives from the other dragons. Dragons are not renowned for their mercy, and in this case, they…’ His voice trailed off and he glanced away. ‘In this case they have been having a great deal of fun.’
Gold dropped even further. ‘I never thought of it like that.’
‘Frankly, Gold, I’m not surprised.’
‘Thinking is obviously not something you’re very good at.’
HONG KONG
1997
XUAN WU stormed into the hospital delivery room, his face fierce. He stopped dead when he saw Michelle holding the tiny baby girl. He raced to her bedside and fell to one knee, then clutched Michelle’s hand.
‘I’m sorry I didn’t make it,’ he said softly.
‘Isn’t she beautiful,’ Michelle said with bliss. She turned, and held the baby out for Xuan Wu to hold. ‘She’s so perfect.’
Xuan Wu took the child as if she could shatter any moment, and stared at her with wonder as he cradled her. ‘I always found human babies ugly. But this one is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.’
‘That’s because she’s yours, silly Lo Wu,’ Michelle said.
The baby started to squall and Xuan Wu jumped with horror.
‘It’s all right, hand her back, she wants to suckle,’ Michelle said. She shook her head. ‘They say it will be a day or so before I have milk for her, but in the meantime it’s good for her to suck, it will make the milk come sooner.’