by Misa Rush
“You’re okay?” She questioned, looking up at him in disbelief.
He nodded. “The paramedic said I’ll be fine. I didn’t let them take me to the hospital.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure. I want to be here. Now, come on.” He pulled at her hand.
Thank you, Mom.
When Karsen rose, she saw a new image through her eyes. For the first time in months, her family didn’t appear in pieces. She saw Brad, Hanna, Addison, even Adie. Some related by blood, some not. It did not matter. There was a bond of love between them, a love that conquered and persevered. At that moment, a sense of strength emerged within her and she realized her problems might not be as insurmountable as they seemed.
“Nice to meet you,” Addison held out her hand to Brad. He pulled her in and hugged her.
“And I thought I could draw a crowd,” he joked.
27
The next morning, Addison sat on the enclosed porch at her parents’ home. Knowing Karsen, Brad and Hanna had nowhere to go, she’d invited them back to stay for the night. It seemed strange to have her biological siblings under the roof of her adoptive home. But, to her amazement, her parents welcomed them openly.
As the others still slept off the trauma from the day before, Addison was lost in thought. Creating an inventory of the business personal property was going to be a nightmare. She had already contacted the insurance company, but she knew that was only the beginning of what was inevitably going to be a long and arduous process to rebuild her business. She’d watched as the family business turned to ash before her eyes, all because of an electrical fault on a light fitting on the floor below. She was told the magazines in her storage room had provided fuel for the fire to burn fast and hot. This month’s issue was lost. There was no way to have another to press in time for distribution. All the workstations had been demolished. She could already make a list of to-do items a mile long, but that, she decided, could wait another day or two.
Brad woke and gently climbed over Hanna, taking care not to wake her. He pulled a gray t-shirt with navy trim over his bare chest and stepped into a faded pair of jeans. He slipped quietly through the bedroom door and crept down the stairs, trying not to wake anyone.
“Hey,” he said to Addison, stepping onto the porch. He wasn’t the first one up after all. He crossed his arms and began rubbing them up and down for warmth.
“Good morning,” she replied softly. “There’s coffee in the kitchen.”
“Thanks.”
“There’s another blanket on the couch if you want to come out.” She wasn’t quite sure what to say, but inviting him to chat seemed reasonable.
“Great. Be right back.” Brad went back in and followed the smell of fresh-brewed coffee into the kitchen. He returned coffee in one hand, blanket in the other and took a seat in the chair across from Addison. She looked younger, more vulnerable cuddled beneath the blanket. Her hair was pulled loosely back into a messy ponytail, her face flawless without an ounce of make-up.
“Thanks for letting us crash,” Brad said. He saw a glimpse of his mother as she smiled.
“No problem. It was the least I could do after what you did for Emily.”
“It was nothing, really. Anyway…thanks.” He sipped his coffee. The morning was peacefully quiet. They both stared across the lawn still shy in each other’s company.
Addison could see from the corner of her eye that he’d gaze curiously at her then shift his attention back to the yard trying not to let her catch him. She spoke without looking at him.
“I’m sorry I caused this.”
“What do you mean? You didn’t cause the fire.” Brad said. He turned toward her and looked at her intently. There was no sense in placing blame. Not on Karsen, not on himself and certainly not on Addison.
“No, but I caused Karsen to fly out here on a whim. If I had just talked to her when she called...”
“You had no way to know she’d come. She’s usually, well, usually she’s got a good head on her shoulders. She’s been through a lot lately and I think she’s just grasping for answers.”
“Who could blame her?” Addison shrugged. She raised her mug to her lips and inhaled the warm aroma. Brad smiled.
“What?”
“It’s just that…”
“Just that…?” “Karsen does the same thing. She holds the mug up to her face to smell the coffee.”
They both laughed. Brad finished his coffee and got up for a refill.
“Would you like me to top yours off?”
“Actually, this is my third cup. I better not.”
“Okay. Say, is there a computer I can log on to check flight times?”
“Oh. Sure, in the study. It’s down the hall, third door on the right.” A sense of disappointment flooded over her. She realized she wanted more time to connect, to learn about their lives. What they liked. What they didn’t. What they had in common with her.
“You okay?” Brad asked, noticing the change in her demeanor.
“Yes, I’m fine.” She forced a smile. Brad turned back and took a step toward the door.
“Brad?” She stopped him and he turned back to look at her.
“Yeah?”
She hesitated. “Why don’t you stay a few days?”
He looked at her quizzically.
“I mean, it’s Friday. I know Karsen and Hanna have class tonight, but with the time change, even with an afternoon flight you won’t get in until late. They’ll both probably be too beat to absorb anything anyway. And hell, I’ve got a corporate jet sitting at the airport with nowhere to go.”
“Seriously?”
“Absolutely. Might as well fly back in style. At least you can get a drink without being charged an arm and a leg for it. And if you’re nice, I won’t even charge a baggage fee.” She felt relief trickle through her as he laughed.
“Thanks. I really appreciate it, Addison, but there’s no need. We’ll be fine.”
“Oh Brad, why not? There’s no sense spending money on airfare. Let me do this for you. For all of you. I want to.” She had not anticipated him declining her offer. “It will give us more time to get to know each other a bit more, and tomorrow night’s my mother’s charity ball. You guys could come and be my ‘dates’ since my mother is pissed I don’t have one.”
“I don’t know that I have anything to wear,” He said realizing too late that he sounded like a girl. She burst out laughing. He rolled his eyes at her. “Thanks. I’ll talk to the girls when they get up.”
“I can’t imagine they’ll pass up the opportunity to get gussied up in formal dresses…that we’ll have to go shopping for today,” she added, confident she’d reeled them in.
“Probably not.”
“It’s really the least I can do. Now, go refill your cup and come sit back down. You’ve got, what, twenty-three years to fill me in on?”
As Addy expected, Hanna and Karsen were more than thrilled about the prospect of staying. Karsen welcomed the extra time getting to know her sister and Hanna could never pass up the opportunity to shop.
“What do you think?” Hanna asked, exiting the dressing room and entering the spacious waiting area where Karsen waited on a plush, plum-colored couch. Hanna twirled, the skirt of her dress floating around her. The white halter-top accented her sculpted shoulders and the bodice cinched in perfectly around her size two waist. Her lightly tanned skin gave her enough color to pull off the light color, even at this time of year.
“I bet if you sang ‘Happy Birthday’ you could make the president swoon,” Karsen said. “How about Brad?”
“Hell, he’d swoon if you were wearing a paper sack. Really, you look absolutely amazing, Han. That dress is perfect.”
“Too bad I can’t afford it. Can you believe we’re actually shopping at Barneys? In New York?” She tiptoed toward Karsen, pretending she was wearing heels. Reaching inside the armhole of the gown, she pulled out the price tag.
“Shit!” Karsen exclaimed
as she leaned in to see the price. The sales associate shot her a disapproving glare.
“Sorry.” She lowered her voice and whispered to Hanna, “Addison said to pick whatever we want.”
“But K, come on. I could never accept this. I could pay six months of rent with the cost of this dress.”
“But it does look fantastic on you.”
Hanna twirled again and moved closer to the three-way mirror mounted on the wall. She twisted her neck like an owl to view the back of the dress.
“Stunning!” Addison exclaimed, rounding the corner. “So, Hanna, is that the dress, or did you want to try on some others? Karsen, did you try on any yet? I’m so excited. You’re both going to need shoes, too. We can hit the shoe department next. Add some strappy, five-inch heels, Hanna, and we’ll have to scrape Brad’s tongue off the floor.”
Hanna smiled and examined herself one last time in the mirror.
“I love this dress, but as much as I appreciate your offer, Addison, I really can’t accept it.”
“Nonsense.”
“It’s too much.”
“Hanna, I invited you to an event. You need a dress for it. Now, is this the one you want, or should we keep looking?”
Hanna glanced at Karsen. Karsen rose from the couch and mouthed, “Just say thank you,” while touching her right hand to her chin and bringing it down in front of her.
“I do know some sign language, Karsen. You know, baby signs are hip these days. Adie loves them.”
Hanna laughed. Both Karsen and she had learned a few signs from babysitting. Sounds like they all had the same educational source.
“Okay then!” Hanna squealed, clasping her hands together and feeling like she’d landed in the middle of a fairy tale. “Thank you, Addison!”
Addison signaled to the sales lady to gather a few selections for Karsen.
“Your turn, Karsen. What do you think?”
An instant energy surged through Karsen. For the first moment she could remember since her mother’s accident, she felt pure and utter bliss. She wrapped the first dress around her arm and hugged it to her. Her eyes sparkled with excitement. “I’ll be right out.”
Inside the dressing room, Karsen pulled the dress on and attempted to fasten the zipper. She heard a stitch pop. “Shit!” she murmured. She squeezed out of dress and called out to Hanna.
“What’s wrong?” Hanna asked, entering the dressing room and peaking in Karen’s door.
“It’s too small,” Karsen whispered.
“But you always wear a four.”
“Apparently not any more.” Karsen’s expression went flat.
“Oh. Right. Don’t worry, I’ll be right back.” Hanna took the dress from Karsen and returned with the next size.
Karsen re-emerged, shimmering from head to toe. The pale blue evening gown transformed her appearance from a pretty, young college girl to a sophisticated, elegant woman. She wasn’t going to let a few excess pounds ruin this experience. If anything, the curves added sex appeal to her muscular build.
“Wow!” Hanna beamed at her friend.
Addison turned to look. “Karsen! You look absolutely amazing!”
Karsen bit her lip as she admired herself in the mirror. She ran her hand over the slight bulge in her tummy. Addison didn’t notice.
“Do you like that one then? Or do you want to try another?” Addison asked. “It’s completely up to you.”
Karsen felt guilty accepting the dress. Hanna thought hers was expensive. This dress was almost double the cost.
“Stop thinking about the price. Do you like it or not?” Addison walked up behind Karsen and placed her hands upon her shoulders. She looked in the mirror from behind her.
“I love it. I feel like Cinderella.” She turned to face Addison. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Now, get changed. We have more shopping to do.”
Karsen scurried back into the changing room. “Poor Brad. All he gets is a rented tux,” Karsen yelled to Hanna over the door while wiggling out of her gown. She carefully placed the dress back on its hanger then squeezed back into her jeans.
“Are you kidding, K? Right now he’s golfing at the most exclusive, private country club in New York. He’ll be fine.”
“But he gave up so much. It’s my fault he’s not on the show.”
“What show?” Addison asked. Neither Karsen nor Hanna answered immediately. Karsen opened the door and walked out carrying the dress over her arm.
“What show?” Addison asked again. She lifted the dress from Karsen’s arm and handed it to the sales associate to ring up with the other.
“Brad auditioned for a reality show. He does stand-up comedy,” Karsen explained.
“He’s super talented,” Hanna enthused. “Not that I’m biased; he’s really funny.”
“He was supposed to be in Hollywood right now, but with everything that’s happened recently, he withdrew.”
“You mean, you coming here because I didn’t want to see you?” Addison again felt as if she were at fault.
“No, he withdrew before that. Trust me if it’s anyone’s fault, it’s mine.”
“Why do I get the feeling there’s something else you’re not telling me?” Addison asked.
Three hours later, the ladies arrived back at the house having brought new meaning to the term ‘shop till you drop.’ Karsen held dress bags in both hands and Addison carried several additional bags filled with accessories and shoes.
“My feet are killing me!” whined Hanna, plopping down on the couch, sprawling her arms to both sides. She laid her head back against the cushion and closed her eyes.
“Can I see?” Brad asked sitting down beside her.
“No. You can’t.” Hanna replied, opening her eyes. She straightened up and crossed her legs Indian style. He looked adorable in a blue and green striped golf shirt, khaki pants and cap. Hanna had always loved the way men looked in ball caps. Perhaps that was why she had dated half of the university’s baseball team.
“It’s not like this is a wedding,” he said.
“No, but it’s more fun as a surprise. Trust me, you’ll like them.” Hanna leaned over and pecked him on the cheek.
“I’ll go hang these upstairs. I’ve got to pee like a racehorse anyway.” Karsen headed toward the staircase. Addison carried the packages she held into the kitchen.
Finding a moment alone, Brad reached his hand behind Hanna’s neck and pulled her face toward his.
“I missed you,” he said quietly, his voice heavy, craving her touch. The fingers of his free hand tucked her hair behind her ear and lingered, cradling her face. His warm lips brushed the corner of her mouth then slowly covered hers.
Lost in each other, they didn’t hear Addison return. She stared, momentarily frozen, her face flushed with embarrassment as the two kissed. She quickly fled back around the corner. She pressed her head against the wall and closed her eyes trying to make heads or tails of her emotions. Was it jealousy? Sadness? There was a pure, uncomplicated nature to their relationship that she had never known. She’d never allowed herself to. She’d never given over to trust, and without trust she’d never truly allowed herself to love. The hurt she’d tried avidly to protect herself from for so many years had finally found her. The pain was relentless. Her heart hurt with an overwhelming feeling of emptiness. The reality of the fire had not fully set in yet. What would she do if the business couldn’t recover? She had nothing. She pushed the thought out of her head.
“AAAHHH!” A scream came from upstairs.
“AAAHHH! Hanna! AAAHHHH!” Karsen shrieked again, this time even louder.
Addison sprinted up the stairs, while Brad and Hanna jumped off the couch and immediately followed close on her heels. They stood, breathless, outside the bathroom door.
“Karsen, are you okay?” Hanna banged on the door.
Karsen unlocked the door and opened it a crack.
“Hanna, come in here,” she sobbed, concealing herself behind the do
or.
Hanna turned and gently pushed Brad back. Her hand lingered over his chest. “Give us a minute,” she whispered. Her eyes met his and he understood. Addison took Brad’s arm as Hanna squeezed through the opening and closed the door behind her.
Karsen was squatting against the wall, hugging her knees to her chest. Hanna knelt beside her. She could see terror in Karsen’s eyes.
“There’s blood,” Karsen sniveled. “I’m bleeding. The baby…”
Dumbstruck, Hanna thought for a moment.
“How bad is it?”
“I don’t know. It’s not heavy, but I don’t think it’s normal. You’re not supposed to bleed when you’re pregnant, right? Oh God, Hanna. What do I do?”
“Does it hurt?”
“No, a little crampy maybe, I don’t know. What’s any of this supposed to feel like?” She looked at Hanna. She was tired of hurting, tired of crying. Her eyes pleaded for answers. “I’m scared.”
“I know.” Hanna wrapped her arms around her shoulders and held her. “I know. Let’s get you to a doctor.”
28
Twenty minutes ticked by as Karsen, Hanna, Brad and Addison sat in the plush waiting room that resembled more of an upscale spa than a medical office. A faint vanilla scent filled the air. The office differed greatly from the bleak free-clinic waiting area filled with brochures on STDs and pregnancy options on the campus back in Tempe. The only brochure here was on three-dimensional ultrasounds that allowed parents to view and gather photos of their unborn children. The atmosphere made family life seem uncomplicated, as Karsen had once thought it was.
She curled her legs underneath her on the chair, leaned her arms onto the arm of the chair and buried her head into them. She felt for the charm around her neck and pressed it against her heart. Please let my baby be okay, she prayed, trying to stay calm.