The Possibility of Perfect (A Stand By Me Novel Book 4)

by Brinda Berry

  “Seriously. Get back in. I don’t want you to squeeze our baby out.”

  Josie tugs on my hand and she’s out. Pop. She makes a loud sound with her mouth. “I squeezed my legs together and held the baby in. Kidding! I regret to inform you, this baby isn’t coming out that easily.”

  She closes the car door.

  “You are the most stubborn woman I know. You are shaving years off my life. Years.” I shake my head at her. Rubbing my hand along her back, I revel in the warmth of her body as we walk toward the front door.

  The hospital receptionist tells us how to find Room Number 1031. Josie taps her knuckles lightly against the door of Kiley’s room.

  “Come in,” a voice calls from inside.

  Josie leads us inside a small hospital room. Gunner sits in a chair near the hospital bed with a bundle in his arms. Kiley leans her head toward us. “Hey, you two.”

  “Is now a good time?” Josie asks.

  “It’s a perfect time.” Kiley sticks out her hand with the palm up and beckons to us. Josie takes Kiley’s hand and stands close to the side of the bed.

  Gunner lips curve up. “Kiley is a pro. We hear that four hours for labor is a record.”

  “Show off,” Josie teases. “You have any tips on fast delivery?”

  Kiley yawns. “It was easy. All you have to do is fail to have your hospital bag packed and believe you have all the time in the world. That’s it. Worked like a charm for me.”

  Josie tosses me a look. “I tried to squeeze this puppy out in the parking lot since we were already at the hospital, but it didn’t work. I don’t think I’m that lucky.”

  “The doctors and all the baby experts told us labor would take a long time,” Gunner says. “They said not to rush because we needed to time contractions at home. Hell. Those folks lied to me. But my sweetheart handled it like a pro. She said, ‘No time for an epidural? No problem. I’ve got this.’”

  Kiley chuckles under her breath. “That’s not exactly how it went down. Be afraid, Dane. Very afraid. I’m not exactly sure how many bad names I used on Gunner, but there were a lot of ‘em. But it’s over now and the baby’s healthy. That’s the important part.”

  “What’s his name?” Josie asks.

  Gunner and Kiley exchange a look. Kiley smooths the hospital blanket over her legs. “We haven’t decided yet,” she says.

  I can’t see the baby’s face in the swath of blankets. The bundle is cradled close to his chest, and he does a little bouncing movement with the crook of his arm. How does he know to do that? I’m impressed that he seems so at ease. “Congratulations, man.”

  Gunner unfolds his legs and stands with the bundle in his arms. “Josie, would you like to hold him?”

  She strides across the room and stretches out her arms. “You took long enough to ask.”

  Gunner places the bundle in the cradle of her arms. She has this funny look on her face, something between crying and smiling. Her lips part into the brightest smile I’ve seen on her in weeks. Maybe months.

  “Hi there, big boy,” she coos. “Aren’t you sweet?” She rocks the baby to and fro, but her feet stay in place.

  Gunner points to the chair he just vacated. “Sit there. Think I’ll go grab something from the cafeteria. Do you guys mind keeping Kiley company for a minute? I’ll be right back.”

  Josie only nods and sits with the baby in her arms. I tuck my hands into my pockets and stand against the wall behind Josie’s chair. “No rush. We’ve got plenty of time.”

  He takes one more look at his baby and then points at Kiley. “Need anything, sweetheart?"

  “I’m good. Maybe you can bring me back a soda?”

  “Got it under control. One soda coming up.” Gunner strides to the door.

  My gaze drops to Josie and the baby. The baby weighs seven pounds and some change. I forget the exact weight, but I remember Josie telling it to me as if these things are important. She said it was an average size for a newborn. I don’t know about that, but this one still looks tiny to me. The sleeping infant’s translucent eyelids move back and forth as if following images in a dream.

  Josie takes one finger and tugs the blanket down. She traces a finger along the baby’s chubby arm and along his hand. He latches onto her finger. “He’s so perfect, Kiley.” Josie places a soft kiss on the baby's forehead. Kiley’s mouth widens into a yawn. “I'm ready to take a nap.” She gives a second yawn.

  “We won't stay long,” I say. “We’ll leave after Gunner gets back.”

  Kiley shakes her head. “No, don’t leave. I can finally nod off for a second or two because you guys are here. When I hold him, all I can do is stare at how perfect he is.”

  Josie tilts her head up and looks at me. “Do you want to hold him?”

  “You look like you know what you’re doing. That’s okay.”

  “Come on, you big chicken,” Josie says. “He probably won’t even wake up. He won’t break.”

  I usually don’t shy away from any challenge. But this is damn scary. I don't know how to hold a baby.

  There’s obviously some training in order. “When I was thirteen, I had a class where we had to take care of an egg for a week as part of family planning.” I squeeze my eyes shut for a second before opening them again. “Mine broke.”

  She ignores me and bounces the baby against her breasts. Everybody in this room acts like this stuff comes naturally. I step back. “I don't think— ”

  She rises and moves out from the chair. “Sit.”

  I don’t meet her gaze. All I can do is stare at the bundle she’s ready to pass off to me. “Are you going to be this bossy all the time?” I soften my question with a smile.

  “Not all the time,” she says. “Because you have to remember, I’m winging it too.”

  “Doesn’t look that way to me.” I settle into the hard chair that's really too small for me. Like a man ready to jump out of an airplane, I take a deep breath and extend my arms. “Let's do this thing."

  “He does want to hold you,” Josie says to the baby. “Dane’s really just a big teddy bear. Don’t mind all his fussing.” She puts the baby’s head in the crook of my right arm and snugs the baby against my chest.

  Gazing down at the little tyke’s face, I exhale slowly. He has blonde hair—what little there is. I smooth it across his soft forehead. He sleeps so soundly. “This isn’t so hard.”

  I continue to gaze down into his face. “Hey dude. You don't know me yet, but I can tell already that were going to be friends.”

  I bend down and kiss the baby’s head. His hair is soft and tickles my face. What is it that makes a baby smell different? This little person is a mysterious miracle of the universe.

  How can two people make such a perfect thing? I lower my chin and inhale. The baby opens his robin’s egg blue eyes. He looks like Gunner, that same steady gaze that says, ‘I’m reliable. I’ll listen to you. Go ahead and share some secrets.’

  “He’s awake," Josie whispers.

  I look up to see she's moved closer to me. She rubs her hands protectively over the front of her belly as if she’s more aware of our own baby in this moment than she's ever been. “Pretty eyes.”

  I grin and rock a little just in case the kid likes it. “Yeah. I guess. Eyes like his daddy. Eyes that warn you not to mess with him.”

  “Yeah? Good. Nobody will ever mess with my baby.” Kiley sits up in bed. “If he’s awake, he’s going to want to eat. I don’t mind if you stay, but you know I’m breastfeeding, right?”

  It takes me a minute to realize what she means. “Oh. Well, I can leave. Josie, I’ll be—”

  Kiley sighs. “I’d like for you to stay. But some people are uncomfortable with it. I don’t want to make you feel weird.”

  “No, of course it’s not…weird. Or uncomfortable.”

  “Liar.” Josie snorts. “But good effort on trying to act like you’re not.”

  I poke Josie in the side with my elbow and it jostles the baby. His small mouth opens
and closes in protest. “Hey now, baby. That was all Josie’s fault.”

  Footsteps approach and Gunner strides through the door. He holds a white paper bag, a soda, and a box of candy. “Sorry that took so long.”

  He places the candy on the bedside table. There's a single chair in the corner of the room near the door that I didn’t notice until he grabs it and moves it beside the bed. “I brought sweets for my sweet.”

  I stroke a finger over the baby’s hand. “Kiley, he’s already sound asleep again.”

  “Oh well. No need to wake him to eat. You guys hold him while you’re here.”

  Josie bumps her knee against mine. “Can I have another turn?”

  “I could get used to this. I think he likes me.” I get up and step out of the way.

  Josie sits and takes a deep breath, holding her arms out. Once she’s cradling the baby, she makes a rocking movement back and forth. “Did you like sleeping with Dane? He likes you too. I’m going to be your Aunt Josie. I’m not really your aunt, but no one has to know that.”

  “So, why haven’t you picked a name?” I ask Gunner.

  He grins at Kiley in the way you do when you share secrets. “We honestly thought it was a girl. That’s what all the ultrasounds said. He was hiding his goods in between his legs or something. So we have to come up with something now.”

  “Dane,” I volunteer.

  “I don’t think so,” Kiley says.

  “What’s wrong with Dane? Perfectly good name.”

  Kiley finishes the chocolate she has in her mouth and licks her lips. “We came up with a lot of girl names. I mean we have enough girl names for a dozen children.”

  “We’re only going to have four.” Gunner winks at Kiley.

  Josie laughs. “Four?”

  Gunner leans back in his hospital chair and folds his hands over his chest. “Yeah, we’ll probably stop at four.” He grins smugly as if he’s in charge of this decision. I know better.

  “What about a family name?” Josie asks Gunner. “Maybe a name on your mom’s side of the family?”

  Gunner rubs a hand over his chin and looks from the baby to Kiley. “My mom’s maiden name was Cameron.”

  “Cameron,” Kiley repeats softly. “I like it.”

  Gunner grins at Josie and nods. “We can call him Cam. That’s good…maybe even perfect. I think you’re a genius. When he’s older, we can tell him that his godparents helped us find a name.”

  The word godparents hangs in the air for a moment. I widen my eyes and glance at Josie to see if this is news to her.

  “Oh…” Gunner says and holds Kiley’s hand. He grabs a chocolate and chews, taking his sweet time. Finally, he swallows. “Whoops. We forgot to ask you that, didn’t we?”

  Chapter Twenty

  Thanksgiving Crazy

  Josie

  It’s often the little gestures that make a person plunge deeper into a relationship. I recognize this fact when Dane walks into the bathroom while I’m soaking in the tub and he places a glass of sweet tea on the ledge beside me.

  “I called your name earlier,” Dane says and positions himself on his haunches beside the tub. “You didn’t hear me. Everything good?”

  “Mmm,” I answer and admire the way his eyes crinkle at the corners when he smiles. I’ve been soaking too long and my fingers are beginning to wrinkle. The dome of my stomach rises above the water. I’ve quit being shy around Dane. He’s seen every stretched centimeter of my body and it is what it is.

  The way he looks at me tells me he honestly likes what he sees. I thought most guys were too brainwashed by cultural norms to dig a pregnant body. Not Dane, though. That depth of tenderness checks the box for me when it comes to a soul mate. Maybe I was wrong about Dane. Maybe he loves me in a real way not in my romance novels—no proclamations of love until the end of time…only true affection demonstrated by the way he cares about my day and my feelings and my health.

  “Sorry I’m late. The bar was busy, so I had to leave after the supper rush. You’d think people would be at home getting ready for Thanksgiving tomorrow, but the holidays bring out people trying to stay away from family. A lot of unhappy people.”

  “That’s so sad.” I frown. Tomorrow we’ll be going to Cece and Marty’s Thanksgiving dinner. There’ll be food like I used to have when my parents were alive—homemade bread rolls, green bean casserole, and pecan pie.

  I even asked Grandma Lulu to come with us, and she’s bringing a friend. He’s a younger man and I can’t wait to tease her about him.

  My only regret is that I wonder if Ellen will be alone with a frozen dinner or nothing at all. My heart aches at the thought, but I’m sure it would be wrong to ask Cece to bring her as well.

  “I brought some dinner home.” He swipes one finger across my cheek. “You look real comfy in there.”

  “I’d ask you to get in, but there’s no room here since I’m the size of a Beluga whale.”

  He trails a finger into the water and then along the side of one heavy breast and over my nipple that pebbles at his touch. “Only one more month to go and we get to meet him. Or her.”

  “I may stay in this tub forever.” I sink deeper into the water, although my stomach still stays above water as if it’s an island. The days seem to crawl lately. I’m ready to let this baby make its entrance into the world, but I also cherish this time with just me and Dane.

  “Dinner’s going to get cold. Don’t make me come in there to get you,” he teases. “Come on my little mermaid. I’ll go stick your towel in the dryer so it’ll be warm.” He grabs the folded towel from the corner of the tub.

  “You don’t have to do that,” I say, but he’s already gone. I rub one hand absently over my belly and close my eyes. Mermaid, indeed.

  When Dane returns, he holds out my towel which is no longer folded into a square.

  “A toasty-warm towel. It’s my hook to get you out and fed.”

  I don’t know why, but this gesture makes me want to cry it’s so sweet. I thought I was over this hormonal crap. I can’t imagine anything more distasteful than a Beluga whale crying over a warm towel. I heave myself from the tub while he holds one hand. He wraps the soft, heated cloth around me, and it barely covers all my skin. My belly actually peeps from the gap at the front.

  “Thanks,” I whisper with a hoarse edge to my voice. Hope he doesn’t hear my emotions so close to the surface. “I can take it from here.”

  “What’s wrong?” He furrows his brow and looks over my face, trying to pry my mind open and extract all my little secrets.

  “As much as I do enjoy having you help me, I can take it from here. I’ll be there in a minute.”

  He grabs my hand, slides his big fingers through my smaller ones, and drags me close. “Five minutes or I’m coming back in for a search and rescue.” His eyes roam over my face once more as if assuring himself that I’m all right.

  “I’m starving. Now go on. Shoo. I need a minute.”

  After kissing the tip of my nose, he releases my hand and leaves me alone in the bathroom. I stare at the face in the mirror. What’s wrong with me?

  I have what I’ve always wanted—Dane acting like I hung the moon.

  But I know the answer as soon as I ask myself. I’m afraid that it’s temporary as the fall weather outside. Soon the baby will be here and I’m scared. I want more with Dane.

  His actions say so much, but I can’t help but wonder if it’s all tied to the baby. For some women, it would be enough.

  As I promised, I am dressed in my pajamas and at the table within minutes. We eat for several minutes in silence. I’m positive he senses my mood, but he doesn’t ask about it again.

  “Did you get your lab results?” he says around a bite of bread roll.

  “Yes, I told you I would let you know and I forgot. Iron levels are good.”

  “I brought home some of your favorite ice cream for dessert.”

  I moan and rub my stomach. “Honestly, you’re going to feel bad when
I pop from too much food. No dessert. I think I’d like to go to bed early and relax with a book. Do you want to watch television in the bedroom? I won’t mind.”

  Call me needy.

  For some reason, the thought of being able to read with my head on his shoulder gives me comfort for the hormonal mess I’m in. He nods, looking concerned and bewildered since I never ask him to come to bed with me.

  At least not for reading that is.

  “I’ll meet you in there in a few minutes.” Dane hops to his feet and begins clearing the table before I can offer to help. “I’ll put the dishes up and you get into bed. I’m worried that you’re working too hard at the store.”

  “I’m fine. Just tired. And bed is my favorite thing these days.” I give him a cheeky grin so he’ll stop fretting.

  I take several steps to the doorway, then turn and watch him. My guy being all domestic.

  He glances at me and leans a hip against the counter, our dinner plates in hand. “Want to know my favorite part of the day? Coming home, here, and knowing that you’ll be waiting for me. It’s the best thing that’s ever happened—you and me.” As if the emotion is too much, he looks away and turns on the sink faucet.

  One tear slips from the corner of my eye and rolls down my cheek. I swat it away with the back of my hand. I thought I wanted the fluffy, romantic stuff in life and here I am unable to handle it.

  This is what it feels like to be alive. More than the breathing and working and playing. Being alive is possessing that intense love for someone.

  And it’s also taking a risk…like telling a guy you love him.

  I walk into the bedroom and put my robe and slippers away. Dane walks in a minute later with a book in his hands. He holds it up and says, “This is what you’re reading right now?"

  I get into the bed and pull the covers over my legs. He’s even propped up the pillows for me in a seated position where I can read. “Yes,” I answer.

  Without another word, he slips into my side of the bed and sits next to me against a pillow. He still holds the book, then drapes his free arm over my shoulders and pulls me against his chest. “Good. Do you know how many books are in this house? I must’ve gotten lucky to pick one you’re currently reading. Or maybe you read half a dozen at once. There are bookmarks in so many of them.”