Love Me

by Olivia Cunning

  Lindsey laughed. “Exactly like a fat roll. I think she has some shar-pei in her, because whenever she sits down, she has this wrinkle that goes all the way around her waist like she’s wearing tight pants and she has a muffin top.”

  Mom laughed. “Aww, poor doggie. I bet you’ve given her quite a complex.”

  “I did catch her doing sit-ups once.” She winked at Chad, who was getting impatient for a spoon.

  “Chad has always loved dogs,” Mom said. “Everyone blames me for taking in strays, but he’s the one who brings them home.” She leaned in and wrapped her arms around Chad’s shoulders, giving one a vigorous rub. “I just couldn’t tell him no.”

  “And Owen brought home a different kind of stray,” Chad said, watching his brother select spoons from a drawer. Dear God, could he be any slower?

  “Kellen,” Mom said with a loving smile. She’d always treated Kellen like her third son, which was why it had been so easy for Chad to think of him as another brother. “I haven’t seen him for over a week. What’s he up to, Owen?”

  “Don’t know, don’t care,” Owen said, dropping a handful of spoons on the table with a loud clatter.

  “Did you two have a fight?” Mom asked. “I know your band is having problems, but I’d think you and Kellen would—”

  “I don’t want to talk about it,” Owen said.

  Chad guessed he and his brother had more in common than he’d realized. He reached for a spoon and nudged his mom aside so he could eat.

  “I hope the band settles its differences soon,” Lindsey said. “I can’t help but feel I’m responsible for you guys breaking up. You’re my favorite band. I’ll never forgive myself if you don’t get back together.”

  “You are not responsible,” Owen said. “Jacob and Adam have been teetering on the edge of disaster for as long as I can remember. Long before any of us met you.”

  “I was added tension you guys didn’t need,” Lindsey said. “I should have stayed in Idaho and gone on welfare.”

  “I’m glad you didn’t,” Chad said.

  “Me too. You’re going to be a big help to us, Lindsey,” Mom added.

  But that wasn’t why Chad was glad she was there. They could have hired a nurse to help him out. Not that he planned to accept any help. He was glad Lindsey was there for entirely personal and selfish reasons. She made him feel normal. She made his world a brighter place, and considering how dark it could have been, he was glad for her sunshine and the way it chased away the shadows crowding him.

  The stew tasted as delicious as it smelled. He might even like it better than his grandmother’s recipe, though Lindsey insisted it was his grandmother’s recipe that Mom had shared with her. But there was something slightly different about it. Or maybe his memory just wasn’t as good as reality. Or maybe she’d seasoned it with love, and her love was a different flavor from his grandmother’s.

  God, when had he become such a sap? He was glad mind reading wasn’t real.

  After lunch, Chad found himself nodding off at the table. He’d been so focused on getting out of that damned hospital that he hadn’t been sleeping enough, and he hadn’t admitted to his doctors or nurses that with sleep came nightmares. When he was awake, he could direct his thoughts away from the horrors he’d experienced. He’d learned to do that while still in combat. But when he was asleep, nothing could keep them at bay.

  “I think you should take a nap,” Owen said. “Caitlyn will be here tonight. You’ll finally get to meet her. I don’t want her to have to watch you drooling down your chest at the supper table.”

  “I am tired,” Chad admitted. And he did want to be refreshed when he met Owen’s new girlfriend.

  Lindsey slipped from the bench and grabbed the handles of his wheelchair. “I’ll show you to your room.”

  He caught the turning wheel with his good hand, and she bumped into the back of his chair as it stopped short.

  “I got it,” he said, tugging his injured arm out of its sling. The floors weren’t sloped. He didn’t think he’d put too much strain on the muscles wheeling around the house, and there weren’t any doctors or nurses there to bitch him out if he did. If anything, using his arm should strengthen his weakened shoulder joint and he’d recover more quickly. At least that was what he told himself as he gritted his teeth and used both hands to back himself away from the table. He didn’t get far. Lindsey was still behind him.

  “If I’m going to be responsible for you, then you’re following doctor’s orders or I’m having you sent back to the hospital,” she said before either his mother or his brother could berate him.

  “It’s not that bad,” he assured her. “I won’t wheel myself up any ramps, but I have to learn to do things for myself.”

  “You will,” she said. “After your shoulder is healed and the doctor gives you the okay, I’ll insist you do as much as you’re capable of, but until then, put the sling back on.”

  Chad caught his brother’s smirk as he slipped his arm back into the sling. “You’re a bossy pain in the ass,” he grumbled under his breath, but part of him was glad that she cared enough to boss him around. Another part, however, did not appreciate her treating him like a child.

  “Watch your language, Chad,” Mom said, “and don’t you give her a hard time. She’s absolutely right. You keep that sling on until the doctor says you can take it off.”

  He hated to tell them, but he would not be an easy patient. He had no plans to take it easy and let time heal his wounds. He would get out of the chair, and once the swelling in his leg went down, he planned to be fitted for a prosthetic leg as soon as he could. He refused to spend the rest of his life being pushed around in any capacity.

  Lindsey squeezed his shoulder and spun him away from the table. He tried to let go of the tension in his body, but he hadn’t come home to be waited upon and coddled and assisted. He’d come home to get away from that.

  “Do you need to go to the bathroom first?” Lindsey asked as she wheeled him through the doorway between the breakfast nook and the small dining room.

  If he needed to go the bathroom, he damned well could go by himself. Well, mostly. “Yes,” he said. He rested his elbow on the wheelchair’s armrest and pressed his forehead into his hand.

  His humiliation was deepened when they discovered that the wheelchair was a couple inches too wide to fit through the bathroom’s doorframe.

  “Owen?” Lindsey called. “We have a little problem.”

  Owen came around the corner and stopped behind the chair while Chad concentrated on trying to regrow his leg by glaring at the bandaged stub.

  “Can’t you just aim from there?” Owen asked.

  “We can get him one of those commodes,” Lindsey suggested.

  “I’m not pissing in a fucking commode,” Chad said through clenched teeth.

  “Well, then,” Owen said. “Only one thing to do.”

  Chad supposed he expected him to wear adult diapers. Owen didn’t say it, though. He dashed out of the house, the back screen door slamming behind him.

  “I can help you stand if you want,” Lindsey said. “You can lean on me, and—”

  “And drop us both to the floor?” He could hear the derisiveness and anger in his tone, but couldn’t seem to stop it.

  “Just tell me what you want me to do. I can help.”

  “I don’t—”

  “Want my help,” she interrupted. “Yeah, you said that already, but you’re going to have accept a little until you can handle things on your own.”

  She was being perfectly reasonable, but he still wouldn’t accept her assistance. Not with this task. “Lock my wheels.” He was going to get out of that damn chair and over to the toilet if it killed him.

  “Lock them yourself,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest.

  He looked down at the braking mechanism and found a lever he could reach. He engaged the brake on one side but before he could get his arm out of the damned sling to lock the other wheel, Owen came b
ack. He was carrying a pry bar, a hammer, and a reciprocating saw.

  “I didn’t like this doorframe anyway,” Owen said, using the pry bar to rip the trim from around the hinge-less side of the door.

  “Don’t tear up your house,” Chad said, but God, he loved his brother and his selfless nature.

  “It’s just a piece of trim.” Owen set the now loose piece against the wall and released the wheel brake to attempt entry. Closer, but the chair still needed an inch or two to clear the narrow door. “These old houses don’t meet ADA standards. I’ll show ’em.” He plugged in his reciprocating saw.

  “Owen—”

  Chad’s protests were cut off by the blade sawing noisily through the doorframe. Owen hacked off the section below the level of the lock down to the floor and then used his pry bar and a bit more sawing to remove the piece. He tossed it aside and pushed the chair through the widened opening and into the bathroom.

  “You really are a rock star,” Chad said, shaking his head and marveling at his brother.

  “I didn’t want you to piss on my floor.” He leaned in close to Chad’s ear, presumably so Lindsey wouldn’t hear him. “You are going to have to sit on the seat and pee like a girl.”

  “I’ll manage.”

  “Holler if you need a hand,” Owen said as he backed out of the small room.

  Owen closed the door, but there was an obvious gap at the bottom of the frame that prevented true privacy.

  “No peeking, Lindsey,” he heard Owen say on the other side of the door.

  “You’re awesome,” Lindsey said. “You know that?”

  Chad smiled and worked at getting the chair in the best position so he could slide over to the toilet seat. His brother was pretty terrific. That was why Chad knew he didn’t have a chance in hell at winning Lindsey’s affection. Not because she was the type of woman who couldn’t handle his injuries, but because her heart already belonged to Owen. If Owen ever decided he wanted it, he’d have it.

  Chapter Seven

  Lindsey tried not to glare at Caitlyn, and she was sure under any other circumstances she would have liked the woman, but did she have to touch Owen so much? It was sickening. Caitlyn was too old for him, for one thing—probably ten years his senior. And for another, Owen acted all goofy around her. He was usually in a good mood anyway, but he couldn’t stop smiling and laughing and whispering things to Caitlyn that made her equally goofy.

  Chad leaned close to Lindsey and said, “You’re looking a little green there, angel.”

  “I feel okay,” she said. “My morning sickness ended months ago.” And it was late evening, not morning. She didn’t feel remotely nauseated.

  “Different kind of green,” Chad said. “The jealous kind.”

  “I’m not—” She snapped her jaw shut. She so was. And Owen was obviously happy. Why couldn’t she just be glad he’d found someone and get over it? It wasn’t like they’d ever had a relationship, and the baby wasn’t his. She had no claim on him, but he was such a good person and so cute and talented. And he’d never been anything but nice to her. Even when everyone else on the planet treated her like she was worthless and trashy, Owen had never made her feel that way. Caitlyn had no idea how lucky she was.

  Unable to stand the sappiness between the pair any further, Lindsey stood. “I’m going to bed early.”

  “I should probably head that way too,” Chad said with a smirk. “Give the lovebirds a little privacy.”

  “I guess we’re all thinking of bed,” Owen said.

  He kissed Caitlyn in a way that let Lindsey know that she’d soon be listening to their sex noises coming from across the hall.

  “Do you need any help getting to bed?” Lindsey asked Chad, having learned earlier that one did not assume he wanted assistance with anything. That led to the demolition of perfectly good doorframes. He was so strong and independent. He must think she was a weak and terrible human being for coming here from Idaho and accepting handouts from his brother.

  “I’ve got it.” Chad shifted himself from the sofa to the wheelchair like he’d been doing it his entire life and had even figured out how to use his one good arm to wheel himself in a moderately straight line.

  “It was so good to meet you, Chad,” Caitlyn said.

  “Same,” Chad said, and Lindsey couldn’t help but notice he didn’t seem overly thrilled by his brother’s happiness either. He vanished into the den—which luckily had a wider entry than the bathroom—and shut the door behind himself.

  Lindsey headed for the stairs, a bit confused by Chad’s brusqueness. He didn’t have the hots for the curvy brunette too, did he?

  “He’s just tired,” she heard Owen tell Caitlyn. “He’ll be more himself tomorrow once he gets some sleep. It’s been a long day.”

  “He’s charming,” Caitlyn said. “Just like his younger brother.”

  “You call that charming? He was all sorts of cranky tonight.”

  “Cut him some slack, he just . . .”

  Lindsey lost track of their conversation as she climbed the stairs. She got ready for bed and slipped between the sheets but lay wide-awake, wondering what her life would be like in a few months. She couldn’t allow herself to feel too settled in Owen’s house. Her living situation was very temporary. Mostly because she wasn’t sure if she could stand the rhythmic creaking of the bed across the hall for another second. She groaned and crammed her pillow over her head. At least Chad didn’t have to listen to that part of his brother’s new romance. Ugh. Owen must have been plowing Caitlyn hard, because the pillow was no match for the headboard banging into the wall and the bed’s legs scraping the floor. Dear lord, would it ever end?

  Unable to stand another moment of those sounds and knowing from experience that those two would go at it all night, Lindsey grabbed her pillow and quilt and headed downstairs to sleep on the sofa. Caitlyn’s moans were even louder in the upstairs hallway and followed Lindsey all the way down to the living room. She noticed the band of light beneath the door of the den where Chad was supposed to be asleep. She wondered if the Caitlyn and Owen sexathon was keeping him awake as well. Hopefully, he could get some sleep. He must be utterly exhausted. Every task he completed was a major ordeal, but he never complained. He only complained when someone tried to help him.

  Owen called out in ecstasy upstairs, and the muffled sounds of the thumping headboard finally came to an end.

  “Oh, thank God,” Lindsey heard Chad say in his room.

  She giggled into her pillow. Apparently, he could hear the randy couple too. The house fell silent, and Lindsey’s eyelids began to droop as she snuggled into her quilt. She was almost asleep when Owen’s bed began to squeak again.

  “For fuck’s sake,” Chad yelled. “Tie a knot in it, won’t you?”

  The den door opened, and Chad wheeled himself out of his room. He paused at the bottom of the stairs. “Can you two keep it down?” he yelled. “I’m trying to suffer from insomnia in peace!”

  “You think it’s loud down here . . .” Lindsey said from her comfy spot on the sofa.

  Chad’s head turned in her direction. “I didn’t know you were down here.”

  “I thought it might be quieter. Come keep me company until he . . . until he . . .”

  “Comes?”

  Lindsey’s cheeks warmed, and she nodded.

  “I thought he already had.”

  “He usually has three in him,” Lindsey said.

  “Three? You’re kidding!”

  She shook her head. “And the third one takes a really, really long time.”

  “We need to get our own places, Lindsey. How can you stand listening to that night after night?”

  “She only stays over a couple times a week.” And having her own place sounded equal parts awesome and lonely. She wouldn’t be lonely for long, though. Soon she’d have a baby to care for and keep her company. To love and love her back. That was all she’d ever wanted out of life, really. For someone to love her. Truly. Madly. Deeply.


  “That’s a relief,” he said.

  “Are you having trouble sleeping?” she asked, sitting up and wrapping the quilt around her shoulders. “Even without the sound effects?”

  “Eventually I get so tired I pass out, but I haven’t slept well since I was deployed.”

  “How long ago was that?”

  “Six years in the thick of things, with a few breaks in between.”

  That long? How was he functional?

  “Maybe I can help,” she said. As soon as she spoke, she wished she could take back the offer. She knew how Chad reacted to offers of help.

  “How?” he asked.

  “When I was a little girl, my mom would let me rest my head in her lap while she hummed to me and stroked my forehead. I’d be asleep in minutes.” Her mom wouldn’t even speak to her now, but she’d cared about Lindsey at one time. Not so long ago really. Maybe that was why it had hurt so bad when she’d told Lindsey she no longer had a daughter. Sluts were not welcome in her house. Vanessa should have kept her damned mouth closed. Bragging to the catty bitches in town about their one-nighter with Sole Regret had not been her friend’s smartest decision.

  “I’m willing to try anything at this point,” Chad said.

  Lindsey smiled, glad she might be of use, and patted her ever-diminishing lap. “Right here.”

  He wheeled over to the couch and deftly shifted onto the cushion beside her. He surprised her by facing her belly when he stretched out, rather than facing away. He surprised her further when his good arm circled her ever-expanding waist.

  “I feel calmer already,” he murmured.

  Well, that made one of them. She wasn’t sure why her hormones kicked into overdrive whenever he was near. Her hand trembled when she brushed her fingers over his forehead. In the darkness, she found the ridge of a healing scratch, the indentation at his temple, and the soft hair of his scalp that had already grown noticeably in the short two weeks she’d known him. The bandaged side of his head was against her thigh, so it was easy to forget that he’d been horribly wounded. She tried to remember the song her mother used to hum but figured he might not appreciate a lullaby. She settled on a Garth Brooks song, “Friends in Low Places,” hoping it didn’t offend him.