by Skyy
“I was thinking we could go to the Cheesecake Factory. I know that’s so lame, but I really have been craving some Ultimate Red Velvet Cake Cheesecake.”
“Danni.”
Danni turned around to see that Lena was still standing by the door. She walked back over to Lena.
“What’s wrong?”
Danni sending Lena away from New York had been the wake-up call Lena needed. Because of Danni’s tough love, Lena had her friend back. The last-minute wedding details had Lena in a blissful mood. She knew she owed it all to Danni.
“I don’t want to do this anymore.” Lena fidgeted with her hands.
“Do what, boo?” Danni noticed how nervous Lena was.
“In New York you said some things to me that really hurt, but you were right, and I needed to hear them. I went home and really did what you told me to do. I started thinking about Lena and what Lena wants.” Lena began to pace the floor. “I really do like you, and I love what we have, but I want more. I fooled myself into believing that I was okay not being official, but I’m not. I am not a random chick. I want it all or nothing at all.”
Danni tilted her head. “Lena, I’ve told you before, you aren’t random. . . .”
“I’m also not your girlfriend. I’m not trying to come in between what you do professionally. I only want to enhance it. You are what I need in my life, and I know I can be what you need.”
“Lena.” Danni took a step back. “I love the new confidence . . . but I was honest with you when I said I don’t want a girlfriend. That hasn’t changed.”
“I know you don’t want a girlfriend, but I know the reason why. You talk about me being a punk, but you aren’t being one hundred, either. You are damaged from Farih, and maybe it’s time to finally put that behind you for something real. Let’s not punish each other for what happened in our pasts.”
Danni thought about Farih. She looked at Lena. “You are kidding me, right?” Lena looked at Danni with a confused look on her face. “You are standing here, telling me about getting punished by the past, when you have past baggage too. Fuck outta here, Lena, with that shit.” Danni was angry and didn’t care if Lena knew it.
“Do I care about Denise? Yes. I will probably always care about her. But I am standing here, telling you I want to commit to you and you only. I want to be your girlfriend, Danni. But you can’t even consider what I’m saying to you, because of your own hang-ups about the girl who got away.”
“The girl didn’t get away, Lena. The bitch left!” Danni’s words flew out like fire. “She left me when I worked my ass off to give her the career she wanted. I made her ass, and she left me! I almost gave up everything for ha’ ass, all over some fucking pussy. I’m not doing that shit again. Not for you, or anyone else!”
“I’m not Farih!” Lena yelled. “I don’t need you to give me a goddamned thing! I only want you to open your heart to me. I want us to try. Danni, don’t you want to at least try?”
“You don’t know what you want, Lena. Get real right now. You don’t know shit. You don’t even know if you are gay or not.”
“I know that I am not willing to be your weekend lover anymore. I want more.”
Danni crossed her arms. “I can’t give you more. I won’t. You knew the deal when you got into this. Now, if you aren’t cool with it anymore, I’m sorry, but I am who I am, and I’m not changing. If you don’t like it, there’s the door.”
They stared at each other for a moment. Lena could tell Danni was hurt, even though she wouldn’t let on about it. Even angry, Danni was sexy. Lena’s body craved her, but her heart was telling her to run.
“I’m sorry, Danni. Thanks for an amazing time and for helping me to find myself in many ways. But I can’t do this.” Lena turned to walk out of the condo. Danni called her name, causing her to pause.
“I’m sorry for snapping out on you. It’s just that this wasn’t what I was expecting today.” Danni walked closer. “I expected to have the girl that I care about in my arms, making love to her until the sun comes up. Are you sure that you want to give up what all we have?”
Lena’s legs tingled at the thought of Danni and her. Her body wanted to stay more than anything, but her soul wouldn’t let her. “I’m sorry, Danni, but I deserve more, and so do you.”
Danni knew she couldn’t change Lena’s mind. “I hope we can still be friends. You are one of a kind, Lena, and I’d hate to lose you in my life for good.” Danni wrapped her arms around Lena. She could smell Danni’s intoxicating cologne. Lena forced herself to pull away.
“Always.” Lena smiled and walked out the door. She hoped Danni would show up like before, pull her out of the elevator, but she didn’t. The doors closed on their relationship. Lena had made up her mind, and it didn’t work out for her. She didn’t have anyone, but for once she didn’t feel bad about it. She was open to all possibilities.
Chapter 38
Misha walked into her broken home. A musty odor hit her as she walked in the kitchen. She rolled her eyes. Dishes were piled up in the sink. Patrick obviously hadn’t done a thing since she left.
Patrick appeared in the doorway.
“I guess cleaning wasn’t an option.” Misha put her purse down.
“Sorry. My mind has been elsewhere lately.” Patrick walked into the kitchen. “Thanks for coming.”
“Patrick . . .” Misha stood tall, trying not to break down. “We can’t do this. I can’t do this anymore.”
“Wait . . . Mish . . .” Patrick rushed closer. He stopped in his tracks when Misha raised her hand, indicating he should halt.
“Patrick, I have been thinking about this for this whole time, and although the idea of you cheating hurts like hell, I really can’t blame you for that.” Misha sat on a kitchen chair. “You were right. I wasn’t completely here, and I haven’t been completely here for a long time.”
“Misha, we can fix this. Counseling—”
“Patrick, we can’t fix everything. I love you, but I don’t want to be married to you.” The words hurt both of them. Patrick’s pained expression changed to anger.
“And this has nothing to do with the fact that you’re heading to New York in a few days, where she will be?”
Misha sighed. She shook her head and stood up. “See, that’s it right there. There is nothing I can do to make you not think Cooley, or any other woman, is a threat.”
“Well, what am I supposed to think?”
“You are supposed to realize that your wife loves you and is devoted to you. I am not a cheater, Patrick. I wouldn’t cheat with a man or a woman. But you can’t see that. You never have been able to see it. Face it, Patrick. You can’t be happy with me.”
“Yes, I can.”
“No, you can’t. Because no matter what, you are always going to think I’m going to leave you for a woman.” Misha didn’t realize how loud she had become until that moment. She took a deep breath. “I can’t change my past, and I don’t want to. But I can change how my future will be. I can’t be with someone who doesn’t trust me.”
“Wait!” Patrick felt his world crashing down. “I can trust you. I do trust you. Misha, what about our son?”
“Patrick, I love you. I’ve loved you since I was in the seventh grade. I never would want to lose you as a part of my life, or your son’s life. We just can’t be together.”
“So you really want to do this. You want to give up everything we have?” Patrick shook his head in disbelief. “What are you going to tell Jaylin?”
“We are going to tell him that we love him very much, but Mommy and Daddy won’t be living together anymore. . . .”
“This is bullshit.” Patrick punched the wall. “I’m sitting here saying, ‘Let’s at least get counseling,’ but you aren’t willing to even try to save our marriage. I’m not stupid, Misha. I know why you don’t want to try. You know what! Fine! If you want to go, then go. But you aren’t taking our son. I won’t have him around that filth!”
Misha’s motherly instincts
kicked in. “Patrick, if you want to be a child about this, then by all means, do what you gotta do. I’m trying to remain an adult and be civil about the situation, but if you threaten me about our son, so help me God, I will use every resource at my disposal to make your life a living hell.”
“So you’re threatening me now?” Patrick laughed. “That’s funny, Misha.”
“It’s not a threat. It’s a promise. I’m leaving, but you better think long and hard about how you want this divorce to go.” Misha picked up her purse and walked out the door. She wanted to cry, but she held it together. She knew Patrick wasn’t going to go down easily.
She had to prepare for the fight of her life.
Chapter 39
Lena left Danni’s place and went straight to the airport and jumped on the first flight to Orlando. Within a few hours she was sitting in her parent’s villa at the Disney World Animal Kingdom Resort. She knew there was only one thing she needed. She held on to her daughter, hugging and kissing her. She didn’t realize how much she had missed her little girl.
She couldn’t believe how her parents looked. Her mother and father both had on matching Mickey Mouse T-shirts. They sat in the lavish Disney hotel suite while Bria modeled her Princess Tiana dress from The Princess and the Frog.
“So, honey, do you want to go with us to Animal Kingdom?” Her father’s deep voice sounded funny given that he was wearing a purple T-shirt.
“Sure. Why not?”
“You know, I really expected you to join us a lot earlier,” Karen remarked.
“Well, I had a lot of things to sort out at home. I’m doing some redecorating, and Carmen’s wedding coming up has kept me very busy.”
“Papi, I wanna wear my other dress.”
“Well, let’s go find the dress you want to wear.” Bria pulled her grandfather’s hand as they headed into the other room.
Lena smiled as they walked out of the room. As soon as the door closed, she noticed the look on her mother’s face.
“Yes, Mother?”
“I heard about Denise and her girlfriend.” Her judgmental tone irritated Lena. “Is that the reason for this unexpected visit?”
Lena rolled her eyes. “No, Mother, it’s not. I wanted to see my daughter.”
“And it took you two months to want to see her? Tell the truth, Lena.”
“Oh my God, Mother, why don’t you just tell me what you want to hear?”
“Who is Danni?” Karen asked, not taking her eyes off of her daughter.
“Where did you—”
“Your daughter mentioned a person named Danni. Who, or should I say what, is Danni?”
Lena couldn’t take it. She stood up. “Danni is a woman, Mother. Isn’t that want you want to know? Yes, she’s a lesbian, a sexy-ass lesbian who I have spent the majority of this break with, having the most amazing sex ever—”
“Lena Jamerson!” The deep voice echoed throughout the room, causing Lena and Karen to jump.
Lena turned to see her father’s stern face staring at her. Bria walked out of the room, wearing a Cinderella dress.
“Jessica, take Bria to get some ice cream at the restaurant,” her father ordered. Jessica quickly ushered Bria out of the hotel suite. “What did you just say to your mother?”
Lena knew there was no turning back. Her heart raced. “I’m sorry, but I can’t continue to lie to either of you. Dad, when I was in school, I fell in love with my roommate.”
“So this is the reason you and Brandon split up?” Lena’s father was still as a statue.
“No, we had more issues than just Denise.”
Karen stood up. “So you blatantly lied to me when you said you were done with that girl?”
“No, I didn’t lie. I was done with Terrin, and I didn’t know if I was done with women or not, but I can’t continue to act like I don’t like what I like. I like men, but I love women.” Her eyes began to water.
“Lena, so you standing here, telling us that you are a . . . homosexual?” Her father’s voice cracked. That crack broke Lena’s heart.
“I’m standing here, saying . . . I’m saying that I like women, and that isn’t going to change. I am still Lena. I’m still your daughter. But I can’t lie to you, or myself, anymore.”
“And here, we thought you were mature. You need to grow out of this phase,” Karen told her.
“It’s not a phase, Mother. It’s me. This is me.”
“This is all that girl’s fault,” Karen protested.
“Stop blaming Denise. This isn’t her fault. She never came on to me. She rejected me when I approached her. This is not her fault. It just happened. It is what it is.”
There was an awkward silence in the room. They couldn’t look at each other. Lena’s father walked up to her. He put his big hand on her shoulder.
“Are you sure this is what you want, Lena?”
“I’m so sorry I hurt you, Dad. I wish I could fight it, but I can’t.”
“As long as you are sure this is what you want, then who are we to have a problem with it?”
“Derrick!” Karen shouted.
“Karen, this is our daughter, and if she so happens to be gay, then we just have a gay daughter. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather she be happy with a woman than be unhappy with some guy.”
Lena couldn’t believe her ears. She wrapped her arms around her father. Her mother sat down, shaking her head in disbelief.
“Now, your daughter wants to go to Animal Kingdom, and I want to go to Animal Kingdom. So I’m leaving. Who’s coming?”
“I am. . . . Mom?”
“No, go without me.”
Lena looked at her father. They walked out of the suite, leaving Karen sitting on the couch. She knew it was going to take more time for her mother to accept the truth, but for the first time Lena felt free.
Chapter 40
Denise looked for the bus stop for the Hampton Jitney. She had signed a few autographs and had avoided the press as best as possible at JFK, but they had followed her all the way. She wanted to get to the house just to get away from the press, but the thought of being in the same house with Lena and Cooley almost made her want to continue dealing with the press.
She noticed a car service. Denise quickly remembered she was rich, and for once she decided to use her money and have a town car take her all the way to the Hamptons.
Her mind was consumed with Lena and Cooley the whole flight and car ride. She hadn’t seen either of them in almost two weeks and wasn’t looking forward to seeing them or staying under the same roof. She thought about calling in a favor to Melanie, asking to borrow her Hamptons place, but Denise knew she had to go to the house. There was unfinished business that needed to be taken care of.
The town car pulled up to the house. It was smaller than many of the houses around it, but it was still bigger than any house she’d ever want to own. She paid the driver, and he proceeded to take her bags to the front door. Carmen ran out of the house. She threw her arms around Denise.
“I’m so happy to see you.”
“Okay, Carmen, you’re cutting off my circulation.” Denise noticed a curtain moving. She looked up to see Cooley’s face briefly. “She’s here.”
“Yeah. Please, just don’t fight the weekend of my wedding.”
“I won’t. And Lena?”
“She’s flying in from Orlando. She went to see her daughter for a bit. She came out to her parents.”
Denise’s head jerked around. “No shit?”
“Yep.”
“And . . . ?”
“Her dad was cool, but her mom is . . . Well, you know how her mom is.”
“Damn, well, good for her.” Denise wanted to be happy for Lena, but the anger set back in quickly.
“Hey, hey,” Nic said as she walked out of the house. “Carmen, the chef has some questions for you inside.” Carmen excused herself. Nic looked at Denise. “Walk?”
“Yeah, let’s.”
They headed to the beach, and De
nise watched the waves crash into the sand. They sat down in two beach chairs.
“Soo . . . how does it feel? You are about to be married.”
Nic smiled. “It feels the same, actually. I committed myself a long time ago to Carmen. This is just saying some words.”
“Ahh, man, that makes it sound special,” Denise joked.
“What can I say?” Nic looked around. “But I will say, if I had to get married, this is the way to do it.” They both looked at the ocean.
Denise looked at Nic. “What do you think about Cooley?”
“I think that she did something stupid. But we all do stupid things when we are hurt. And I can tell you, that chick in there is hurting.”
“I heard about Sahara.”
“This has nothing to do with Sahara. She’s lost her best friend.” Nic and Denise looked at each other.
Denise walked into the living room to find Cooley sitting at her computer. Cooley turned when she heard someone enter. She saw Denise’s face and immediately turned back to her computer.
“Can’t give up work even on a vacation, I see,” Denise joked, hoping to lighten the mood.
“Well, I gotta take care of business, even if my clients hate me.”
Denise sat down at the table. She closed Cooley’s computer. Cooley couldn’t look at Denise.
“I don’t hate you. I think you can be a total asshole, but I don’t hate you,” Denise confessed.
“Dee.”
“You were wrong for what you did, but you were also right. Lena has never been my girl, and so I technically have no claim. . . .”
“Nah, fuck that. You have every right to claim her, and I was dead wrong. I let my emotions get the best of me. That and Patrón and champagne mixed don’t make for a rational Cool.”
“Carla.”
Cooley looked up. It was a rare occasion when Denise called her by her real name.
“Yeah, I said ‘Carla.’ I said it because you aren’t Cooley anymore. You aren’t the playboy, the ‘I don’t give a fuck about anything’ chick that you were years ago. You have changed, and that’s a good thing.”