“Girls.” James nodded as he leant back against the counter. I felt his arm move around my waist and leant into it. I wished I could do more, but felt too afraid to – especially with his friends around.
“So, Maria is the reason why Scott is still here?” Logan asked.
“Yep,” James replied. “He was on his way out when she and Alice arrived. It looks like he’s all settled in for the night.”
For the night, great, so much for Maria’s promise of one hour. I felt betrayed.
“So are you guys keen to come out or what?” Greg asked. “If Scott and Maria are otherwise occupied.”
James glanced at me. “Well…”
I felt my heart crack and wanted to cry at how different we were. Of course, he wanted to go, even if I wanted to stay. He was social, and I was a hermit. How did I ever think we could work?
“No, we’re going to stay in too,” James answered, to my utter surprise.
“Really?” Greg almost choked. He glanced pointedly at James’ arm around me.
“Yes,” James said in a tone that was final. “You guys are welcome to stay too if you like.”
Logan looked at Greg and shrugged, then headed into the lounge to sit on the opposite couch to his brother. Greg stared blankly for a moment, and then followed suit.
James sighed and ran his hand up my side.
“So how about that drink?” he asked.
How about that drink indeed.
“You don’t want to go out?” I whispered.
“Why? Do you?” He smiled, glancing down at me with a look that I hadn’t seen from him before. It made my heart stumble. “I thought you’d prefer to stay in.”
“I—I do,” I breathed. “Here is good.”
He nodded. “Do you want to watch a movie? We could finish watching The Breakfast Club.”
“We could if you like.”
“Would you prefer something else? I’ll suit you.”
I shrugged. “I honestly don’t mind. I love any movie by John Hughes.”
“Well, I have a collection of them,” he said. He stepped back and ran his hand down my arm to catch my fingers, then tugged me towards the couch.
Greg looked up at us and smiled, and I felt my cheeks flush. James had never acted like this before like we were together. I didn’t expect it, especially when we were around his friends. He pulled me down beside him and pressed a button to make the television flash to life.
“So, there’s The Breakfast Club, St Elmo’s Fire, Sixteen Candles, Pretty in Pink—”
“You have Pretty in Pink?” I asked, and tried not to contemplate the irony of the situation. I completely understood Andie’s infatuation and feeling as though she didn’t belong in the same world as Blane.
“Really?” James raised an eyebrow. “Okay.”
“We can watch something else if—if you’d prefer… something else.”
“No, no. I’ll suit you.”
I smiled and sat back, and James moved his arm around me. I tried to ignore that both Logan and Greg were staring at us, but at least Maria and Scott were still blissfully in their own world.
“Okay, Pretty in Pink,” James sighed, hitting play. “I never understood the girl in this movie.”
I rolled my eyes. Somehow, I wasn’t surprised.
All through the movie, James couldn’t seem to resist scoffing and huffing about how Andie lied to Blane because she thought she wasn’t good enough for him. I tried to defend her honour, being of a similar mind to her, but he still didn’t understand or didn’t want to.
After Pretty in Pink, we started again on The Breakfast Club, and he sat through it with minimal commentary.
Logan and Greg kept themselves busy by playing assorted card games. They started off friendly but then began betting wads of cash that seemed unreasonable for guys their age, especially since Greg claimed to not have been born with a golden spoon. It didn’t seem to matter though since Logan kept losing because he was watching the films and only half concentrating on the game. That seemed to level the playing field.
Maria and Scott didn’t seem to come up for breath as they chatted away the whole evening. By the end of the night, she had fallen asleep in his arms, so I had to get him to carry her out to my car. Scott offered up his bed for her, but I thought it would be best to take her home. On my drive back to Maria’s house, I couldn’t help but feel jealous about how easy things seemed with her and Scott. He was single for one day and she met him, they clicked, they talked, and he wasn’t ashamed to show his affections towards her. His feelings were clear.
The next day, Saturday, I didn’t hear from James again. I didn’t think I’d be surprised by the fact that he hadn’t made contact, but somehow I was. Maria told me that Scott had messaged her to make sure she had gotten home safe, and it made me want to cry. I wanted to think that James would do that for me, but if I was honest with myself, I wasn’t sure that he would. No, I was sure that he wouldn’t, he hadn’t, and he didn’t. He didn’t make contact on Sunday either, and I started to question everything that was and had ever been between us. I wanted to hate him for making me feel insecure, but I hated myself more for it. I thought we were making progress, but every time it felt like two steps forward and twelve steps back. He was frustrating, but I couldn’t help myself. He was my addiction.
On Monday, the third day of nothing, I was back at work for the week, and slowly going out of my mind. I had dreamt of him again and I hated dreaming of him. It confused me, especially since the dream was how I wished he was with me – the way he was with her. Jacinta. I could hardly picture her face anymore and I wondered if James could. I wondered if James did. My feelings and insecurities were at a mountain peak, and they were only made worse by Maria’s speckled absence. I had barely seen her in the three days since she’d met Scott, and I felt betrayed by the fact. She hadn’t even wanted to go with me on Friday night.
Later in the afternoon on Monday, I was just about to stop for lunch when I got a phone call. It was a blocked number, and it made my lungs squeeze in anticipation. I didn’t want it to be bad news involving my dad.
“Hello?” I said, and my voice was barely a breath.
“Hello, am I speaking to Alice Potter?” the female voice asked. My heart sank a little, but then started working in overdrive.
“Yes, speaking,” I answered.
“Alice, this is Wendy calling from Checkerboard Interior Design,” the voice replied.
I exhaled. “Oh, hello, Wendy.”
“I’m just calling because we received your application for starting an apprenticeship with us, and we were hoping that you’d be available to come in to meet with us.”
“Of course,” I said a little more confidently. “When would suit you?”
“We have an opening tomorrow afternoon at four forty-five, or Wednesday morning at nine.”
I felt lightheaded. “I can come tomorrow.”
“Okay, Alice, we will see you at four forty-five tomorrow afternoon,” she answered as if reading from a script. “Would you like me to email you the appointment confirmation and details of our location?”
“That would be fantastic,” I replied. I was glad she offered because I would have hung up and realised that I didn’t have any idea where in South Coast City the place was located.
“Not a problem, Alice,” she said. “We look forward to meeting you then.”
“Thanks, Wendy.”
The call ended and I sighed. I’d gotten an interview with a real interior design firm. This was huge. I stared at my phone and realised that James was the first person I wanted to tell. It didn’t make sense, and it was irrational, but I wanted him to know, to be proud of me, and to celebrate it with me.
“Hey, Alice, you stopping for lunch now?” a male voice asked. It wasn’t the one I had been hoping to hear. It was the Duckie to my Pretty in Pink Andie. I wanted Blane, not Duckie.
“Hey, Tyler,” I said. “Yeah, I, um, was going to grab something.”
He smiled. “Care for some company?”
“Um, sure.”
Just because I wasn’t interested in Tyler the way he wanted me to be, I still considered him to be a good friend. Sometimes I wished that he was the one. Things would be so much easier if he was my Blane and not my Duckie. Life would be so much easier if I liked him the way he liked me.
“You look beautiful today, by the way,” Tyler said as we sat down in my favourite booth. I’d been lazy this morning, so I just bought a Greek salad from the café for lunch.
“You don’t have to say that, but thanks,” I answered, tucking my hair behind my ear. Regardless that his attention made me feel awkward at times, at least he made me feel like a woman.
“So, what’s been going on lately? Anything new?” he asked before biting into his tuna and salad roll.
I breathed a laugh. Tyler’s visits were both sporadic and spontaneous, but I saw him at least three times a week when he stopped by on his way to the boathouse. I stabbed a cherry tomato with my fork.
“Not really, just work and hanging out with friends.”
He nodded, chewing. His jaw clicked.
I bit my lip. “Actually, I just got a call from this interior design company. I have an interview with them tomorrow afternoon about an internship.”
He swallowed in a gulp. “Hey, that’s awesome, Alice. Good job.”
“I haven’t got it yet.” I shrugged, adding a piece of feta to the tomato on my fork. “But we’ll see.”
“You get it for sure when they see how awesome you are.”
I shook my head. “I don’t know about that.”
“Did I tell you that I bought a boat pen in the Waning River peninsula?” he asked, flicking his brown fringe from his eyes.
“Do you even have a boat to put in it?” I asked.
“No, but boat pens are real estate on water.”
My eyes lifted. “I see.”
“And this is prime real estate,” he continued, becoming more animated. “I’m going to rent it out to this guy who’s willing to pay a bundle—”
“Then why didn’t he just buy it?”
Tyler frowned. “Because I did.”
“Right.” I chuckled. Sometimes things were just easier with Tyler.
**
Maria came by later, much later, when I was just finishing my shift. I felt trampled by the day, but she was on cloud nine. She told me that she’d spent most of the day distracting Scott in his computer store. Much to Logan’s displeasure, I imagine.
It was hard for me to smile knowing that she had with Scott what I craved for with James. I guess it was true that if a guy wanted to be with you, he made the effort. I just didn’t want to admit that James didn’t want to spend time with me. The blind hope that there was a good reason for his absence was killing me slowly.
“So I got an interview with Checkerboard,” I told Maria, in an attempt to change the subject away from boys.
“Complimenti! Brava!” she said with a huge smile. “Alice, I knew you could make your dreams come true.”
Not all of them it seems.
“Thanks, Maria.”
“What did James say when you told him?” she asked.
I groaned internally. Apparently, my attempt at changing the subject wasn’t as successful as I thought.
“I haven’t told him yet,” I answered. “I want to see how the interview goes first.”
Lie.
“That sounds fair, but I know you will be molto magnifica.”
I forced a laugh. It sounded almost natural. “Thanks, Maria.”
“He is not so bad, your James,” she continued, running her fingers through her flowing chestnut hair.
“He’s not my—what makes you say that?”
Maria shrugged. “Over the weekend when I was at the house with Scott, he was there and—”
“He was there?” I asked. “At home?”
“Si, why?”
“I thought he must’ve been busy.”
Her eyes narrowed. “When did you last speak to him?”
“I don’t know, Friday night maybe.”
Definitely.
Her eyebrows lifted. “Not since?”
“Like I said, I figured he’s been busy.”
“Just when I begin to give this boy the benefit…” She stopped speaking English and rattled off a string of Italian words that I only vaguely recognised as expletives. Swearing somehow sounded more beautiful in Italian.
“I am going to call Scott right now and—”
“Please—please don’t, Maria.” I sighed. “I already told you that James and I aren’t together. I’m not his girlfriend, and we’re not a couple, he’s made that clear. I don’t want to be that girl—the clingy, desperate girl who can’t take a hint.”
“I do not care who he is, Alice. He cannot treat you this way. He cannot string you along whenever he wants company, then ignoring you for the rest,” she replied passionately.
I pouted and her phone rang. She took a breath before answering it.
“Pronto,” she said, and then shook her head. “I am sorry—Ciao, Scott, Alice and I were just speaking of you.”
I shook my head, feeling the blood drain from it. If Maria said something, anything to Scott, he’d no doubt mention it to James, who would immediately put an end to whatever we were doing. I could lose him. I didn’t want to lose him, even if it meant feeling the pain and frustration I currently felt. If I could still have him in my life, then I didn’t care, I’d take it.
“Tonight?” she asked. “I will ask her.”
My head snapped up.
“Scott asked if you were free for dinner tonight at the restaurant,” Maria whispered, then rolled her eyes. “James wants to know.”
“Tonight?” I frowned. Why didn’t James just call me?
She nodded. “Scott and I will be there, and Logan and… what’s her name?”
“Nina?” I asked flatly. “Maria, you know that Nina is Scott’s ex, right?”
Her forehead relaxed. “So you are free?”
Like I could say no now.
“Sure,” I breathed. “But I can’t stay late.”
“Grazie,” she said, lifting the phone back to her ear. “Scott? Si, we will be there. Seven o’clock, perfecto. Ciao.”
She smiled to herself, then looked up. “Thank you, Alice.”
Why was she thanking me when it felt like she was the one doing me a favour?
I forced a smile in response. “What are friends for?”
**
Dinner was normal. Too normal. Like maybe I’d missed something somewhere along the line, normal. James was acting as if no time had passed since Friday, and I wasn’t sure whether it infuriated me or thrilled me. It was amazing how closely those two emotions were linked.
I was surprised about how normal things were between Scott, Maria, Logan, and Nina. The four of them seemed too comfortable around each other, which struck me as strange since it hadn’t been long since Scott and Nina were Scott and Nina. But Nina and Logan appeared to be just as loved up as Maria and Scott were. It was definitely not normal. Although, I did catch Nina watching Scott and Maria a couple of times in a way that questioned whether Maria had caused the breakup. The look was fleeting, curiously so, and everyone at the table could vouch that her suspicions were merely that, and they had no grounding whatsoever.
Besides, her conscience wasn’t clear considering she had hooked up with Logan quicker than Scott had moved on. Strangely enough, I felt a little envious of Nina since she had someone who was committed enough to her to actually commit to her. Logan had put himself out there despite the fact she had been his brother’s girl. Love had overcome the obstacles and the promise of happiness had won. What did I have? Someone with temporary amnesia.
It was hard being with James and not being with him. So many times, I just wanted him to press his lips to my cheek the way Scott did it to Maria, or brush the hair from my face like Logan did to Nina. Dinner mi
ght have been normal on the surface but, underneath, it was killing me. The façade, the pretending, it hurt. I didn’t even want to mention the interview to him now because I didn’t want him to be happy for me. He hadn’t earned it. I didn’t want the falseness of his congratulations, or his “I told you so”. I couldn’t handle it, not now, and not from him.
“What’s up? You look so serious,” James whispered in my ear. His breath tickled my neck and I tensed.
Scott and Logan had disappeared to speak to a family friend of theirs, and I was staring openly at Nina and Maria as they chatted like old friends. It was unnerving to watch, considering the circumstances of them meeting.
“I’m—nothing,” I replied, cringing away from him.
His eyebrows drew together. “What’s going on, Alice?”
“I… isn’t it… don’t you think it’s weird that Nina and Maria are so chummy?” I whispered. “I mean, all things considering.”
James shrugged. “I think it’s cool actually. Maria is a nice girl.”
I breathed a laugh. “Okay.”
“What’s funny?”
“I’m just imagining what Jacinta and I would be like if she was here,” I said, and then instantly regretted it.
James looked down and bit his lip.
“I mean, it’s not like you and I are—we’re not, I mean…” I gave up and sighed. “I just meant that she always hated me, even when… even before.”
“She didn’t hate you.”
I rolled my eyes. “Right, sure she didn’t. I’m sure she had an Alice Potter voodoo doll stashed somewhere in her room.”
“Are you mad at me or something?” he asked.
It caught me a little off-guard. “What?”
“You’re just acting, I don’t know, odd,” he answered. His voice still low, but it didn’t matter, Nina and Maria were still conversing like family.
“Maybe I just find it weird that Maria sees you more than I do.” I shrugged. “Well, since Friday anyway.”
“Alice, it’s only Monday.” He laughed. “You’re worried about two days?”
“Well, no, it’s just—”
“Because we have gone more than two days without seeing each other before, and it wasn’t an issue then.”
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