As if on cue, Marc Christensen—the ringleader of this douchebag frat—walked out of the party with a girl on each arm. He looked over at Paige and rolled his eyes. I wanted an excuse to knock his teeth down his throat in the worst fucking way, but no matter what he did, I couldn’t. He wasn’t worth losing my job and source of tuition.
“Paige, why don’t you get a cab home? Here.” I pulled a twenty-dollar bill out of my wallet. “You shouldn’t have to stay here. And you aren’t stupid. Be thankful you didn’t waste too much time on Marc before you found out what kind of guy he really was.”
Paige nodded. “Thanks, Lucas. You’re a good guy.”
I put my hand on her shoulder. “Not all guys are jerks.” I managed to get a little smirk from her. “Get home safe and I’ll see you in the office on Monday.”
Paige moped her way out of the building. I felt sorry for her, but was also happy she got away from Marc. She was a nice kid, too innocent for that prick.
When Marc pulled the two girls into the open storage closet at the end of the hallway, I marched up to the door and caught it before it closed.
“Take this off campus. This isn’t your personal hotel, Christensen.”
“What’s the matter, pretty boy? Want them both for yourself? I hear you like the ladies too…” One night of bad judgment and kissing a student with a big mouth had followed me for over a year.
“I mean it. Not here. Leave and do whatever the hell you want.” I held the door open and glowered at Marc, who was laughing like the disrespectful asshole he was. The girls looked uncomfortable and scurried away. Marc let out a long sigh and turned to me.
“You’re so fucking pathetic, Hunter. I’m surprised you didn’t leave with Paige. She would’ve eaten your knight in shining armor bullshit right up and her panties would’ve fallen right the fuck off. She could have joined the little entourage of girls that follow your sorry ass around. Don’t you get enough pussy around here without having to cock block me and my friends—?”
I backed Marc against the wall and pressed my forearm against his throat. He was a lot smaller than me, and fear replaced the lousy attitude across his face.
“I would love to teach you some manners, but they would be wasted on you. I’m not supposed to touch you, but that doesn’t mean I won’t if you push me. Got it?”
I shoved him one more time before I let him go. He bent over at the waist, coughing and sputtering to catch his breath.
“Fuck you, pretty boy.” Marc straightened and then sauntered back into the party. I couldn’t protect every girl in the school from him, but maybe if he saw me hanging around he would think twice.
Marc got the girl he never deserved, and as much as I tried to hide it from Sam, it made my blood boil thinking of them together.
Daina looked down and shrugged.
“He’s not my favorite person either, but I don’t think you’re here to talk about him. What brings you here tonight, Lucas?”
“For the past three months, we talked all day long, every day. Since she left my apartment two weeks ago, I’ve only gotten a couple of one-word texts. I think I pushed too hard and scared her off, and I don’t know what the hell to do.”
Daina shook her head and laughed at me. This wasn’t fucking funny to me—at all. It was starting to feel like a waste of train fare to come here and it was pissing me the hell off.
“Well, glad I came over to give you a laugh. Thanks for the help.” I stood and Daina pulled me back by the hand.
“I’m not laughing at you—well maybe a little. I admit find this a little funny. You never let a woman get under your skin like this before. In fact, you have the same sad, puppy dog look on your face Samantha had when she was mooning over you in college. Kind of ironic how the tables have turned. Women always fell at your feet, but Samantha is an unattainable chase. You actually have to fight for her. Is that what has you so hooked?”
I tried to rub the tension away from my neck. I was heading into my late thirties, and up until this point never got this emotionally involved with someone. I wasn’t a jerk, but I wasn’t a saint either. It was the big family joke how women would always slip me their number or approach me. Since Sam came back into my life, all I saw was her. No one else could compare.
Not wanting Sam would make my life a hell of a lot easier.
“No, it’s not about the chase. Sam is just, different from other women. She’s sexy and smart, and she has the best laugh. I could talk to her for hours and never get bored. She looks at me like I’m some kind of superhero. It’s easy to get high on that.”
I missed Sam so fucking much. Talking about her made it even worse.
“I know I turned into a big pussy when it comes to her. I realized that when she left my apartment and I had to fight the urge to hold on to her ankles to make her stay. The way I feel about her scares the shit out of me. I know she’s married, and it’s all kinds of wrong to want her like this. All I think about is going out to Queens like a fucking caveman telling that jerk-off that his wife should be mine, that he would never be worthy of someone as amazing as she is. I could give her everything, Daina. I could make her happy. I need to convince her to let me.”
Daina eyes popped open wide. She was speechless. If I didn’t feel like such a loser right now, I would’ve reached for my phone to take a picture since it was truly a miraculous moment.
“Wow. I’m sorry I laughed at you. Listen, Luc,” Daina said as she put her hand over mine. It was funny how I used to help my little cousin nurse her broken hearts and now she was comforting my sorry ass. “Give her some time. I don’t think Marc is the issue. She’s just scared. All you can do for her right now is have a little patience. I have total faith she’ll come around sooner than you think.”
I stood from the couch, not sure if I felt better or worse, or how much longer I could do this waiting thing without showing up at her office. I resolved to take Daina’s advice and wait it out, hoping she was right.
As I arrived back at my apartment, my phone buzzed in my pocket.
Sam: Hey, do you have time for coffee tomorrow afternoon? I’m sorry I’ve been a little MIA, I had a lot going on here.
Good thing no one was around to see me leap to reply, or they would have confiscated my man card.
Me: Yes, is everything OK? Does 3 work?
Sam: Perfect! I’ll explain when I see you.
Did she leave Marc? Was that what was ‘going on’? Did she regret what we did? My mind was going crazy with possibilities. I let her slip through my fingers once. She may not have been mine to take, but I didn’t want to let her go.
It was wrong, but I ignored Lucas since I left his apartment two weeks ago. I was still trying to figure out what happened. Did Lucas really want me? Or did we give in to the attraction that’s developed over the past months and our night together was as far as it would go?
Lucas was on my mind every second of the day; the hunger in his eyes as touched me, the hot trail of his lips as he ran them all over my body, how it seemed as if he could read my mind. Being with him was amazing, but I didn’t feel free to contact him as freely like I used to. Before that night, we would talk all day long, but these past couple of weeks we’d only texted a few times. I didn’t want to seem needy or desperate, but when I thought about all the things we did, I felt a gnawing ache at my core, my insides begging for a repeat. It was so much more than just sex. Lucas made me feel special in a way no one else ever had. I felt like the woman I’d always wanted to be – beautiful, smart and worthy of a man’s undivided attention. I could fool myself and try to hide it, but needy was exactly what I was. I wanted more, and I needed more. If he didn’t, I wasn’t sure how to handle that. So like the coward I often was, I put off finding out.
I sat at our usual table at Starbucks. When Lucas came in he looked…nervous? He was a little fidgety, cracking his knuckles and running his fingers through his hair, frustrated about something. Since when was Lucas ever nervous? He had to be the coolest
and calmest person I knew.
I stood up when he started to walk toward me. He stopped in front of the table like he wasn’t sure what to say or do. I tried to give him a hello kiss and hug, but his body was stiff as a board as he glared at me.
“What’s wrong, Samantha? Where’ve you been?” I was ‘Samantha.’ Not good.
“Nothing, I didn’t mean to make you worry. There was a lot to rearrange at home.”
“But you told me you’d call me that Saturday and you didn’t. In fact, I’ve hardly heard from you at all in two weeks. Admit it. You regret it, don’t you?” The look on his face was panicked and scared. It was surreal to see him this upset. I pulled him to sit down.
“Marc left on Sunday morning. His friend got him on an IT contract job in Chicago for the next six months. I had to figure out what to do with Bella after school.”
“Left for good, or left for now?”
“Supposed to be six months but there’s a good chance it will get extended longer.”
“No, that’s not what I mean. I mean—“
“You mean did he leave me? Right?” Lucas took a deep breath and sighed. He narrowed his eyes at me and leaned forward.
“I know figuring out who was going to pick up Bella from school wasn’t the reason we haven’t really spoken in two weeks.” I thought backing off a bit was better for both of us. Maybe it was just better for me.
“Lucas, I never meant to hurt you. I guess I didn’t know what to say or how to handle it. I didn’t have a real marriage. I always knew that, but being with you made me realize how empty it really was. I saw how much I was settling these past few years. You make me feel things and want things I didn’t think were possible anymore. And I guess I was afraid of wanting it too much, and having to deal with losing it.”
Lucas exhaled like he’d been holding his breath and sat back in his chair.
“I was afraid I’d lost you. You’ve become so important to me. I thought I pushed you and scared you off.” A man caring this much about having me in his life was new territory. I moved closer to him, taking his hand and interlocking my fingers with his.
“Did I sound scared that night? Or the next morning?” I gave him a little smile. He smirked at me, and I could tell my Lucas was back.
“I do remember you screaming, but you didn’t sound scared, no.” Smartass. Yes, I started this but my face got hot and I knew it was turning red.
“Really Sam, after everything we’ve done you’re still blushing?” Lucas shook his head.
I shrugged. “I guess you could blame my half-Irish skin.” I tried to hide how nervous I was. “I’m divorcing Marc, finally. I really shouldn’t start anything with anyone now.”
Lucas’s face fell. He nodded and tried to take his hand away from mine. I stopped him and held his hand tighter.
“But you’ve become important to me, too—and I don’t regret a single second of that night. Whether or not it’s the right time, I want to take a chance. Can we take things really slow?” I squinted my eyes at him, nervous and tempted to shut out his reaction.
A slow smile spread across Lucas’s face as he nodded. “I would like that. I missed texting you good morning and good night, and hearing you laugh. I…missed you so much.”
“I missed you, too.” It always felt so right when Lucas and I were together—effortless and wonderful. I thought we could have something special, and we deserved the chance to try. I hoped it wouldn’t end up hurting both of us.
“I think I should head back to the office. I have a call with a client in a little bit.” Lucas was still holding my hand, and helped me up.
“Yeah I should get back too.” I followed as he led me outside. “I’ll call you tonight after Bella goes to sleep.” I wrapped my arms around his neck like it was the most natural thing in the world. He put his hands on my waist and pulled me closer.
“You’re sure?” He cocked an eyebrow at me.
“Yes, I promise.” I gave him a soft, lingering kiss on his lips.
Lucas’s eyes got wide and he gave me a surprised look. “I thought we were going to take it slow?”
I shrugged and gave him a big smile. “We don’t have to go that slow.”
“Well, in that case…”
Lucas pulled my arm back and gave me a real kiss. A kiss like the one that started everything back at his apartment—hard and wet and wonderful. We were all tongues and lips, and he always tasted so frigging good. I pulled back, feeling a little dizzy.
“Talk to you later.”
At the end of the long city block, I looked back and Lucas hadn’t moved. He had his hands in his pockets and was smiling, watching me.
“Don’t you have a client call?” I yelled across Park Avenue.
He shrugged. “Yeah, but I have time to enjoy the view,” he shouted back.
I shook my head and kept walking, not able to hide the goofy Kool-Aid smile on my face. I prayed if this was all still a dream, I wouldn’t wake up anytime soon.
One month passed, and I hadn’t heard a peep from Marc. Robyn confirmed he was served with the papers, but he wouldn’t answer my texts asking if he got them. I did everything she advised—locks were changed and our joint checking account was closed. I called Marc to let him know and he sent me straight to voicemail. He was as done with our marriage as I was, and I hoped he would just sign the papers so we could both move on.
Lucas and I were back to all day texting and long conversations at night after Bella went to bed. One night I fell asleep since it was so late, and I woke up to the phone in my ear and a text from Lucas saying my breathing sounded adorable. I didn’t feel right leaving my daughter with a baby sitter to so we could go on a date, at least not right now. When Julianna asked Bella for another sleepover that Saturday night, I asked Lucas if he’d like to go out. I didn’t think I was ready to sleep with him again quite yet, even though I was very ‘ready’ whenever I thought about being with Lucas again. But if we were going to have a real chance, I had to make sure my head was clear. Being drunk off great sex wouldn’t put me in a decent place to have good judgment.
Lucas said he had the perfect place to go, and to meet him at the corner of Thirty-Fourth and Fifth at six o’clock. When I got there he looked breathtaking as usual and was leaning against the building. Even standing there, the man had serious swagger. He wore a gray T-shirt under a black jacket and black jeans. He made anything he wore look mouthwatering, and at least for tonight¸ this perfection was all mine. I didn’t know where we were going, so I wore a green wrap dress with my favorite black leather knee-high boots and matching black leather jacket.
Lucas met me halfway and pulled me into his arms, giving me a soft kiss on the lips. I shuddered a little at his smoldering look.
“Ready?”
“Ready for what? You never told me where we were going.” I was relieved I didn’t under or over dress judging by what he had on, but I would have felt a lot better if I knew what I was in for.
“Look up.” We were right in front of the Empire State Building. “Ever been to the top?”
“Once, on an eighth grade school trip.” It was awful how I never went to any of the famous spots New York City was known for, like most New Yorkers.
“Well after tonight, you can say you’ve been there twice. C’mon.” He took my hand and led me into the lobby. We stepped onto the elevator and traveled up to the Observation Deck on the eighty-sixth floor. Even all those years ago, I could still remember being a little nervous going so high. Lucas must’ve realized I was tense and squeezed my hand.
I stepped out onto the deck and understood why movies like Sleepless in Seattle and An Affair to Remember used the Empire State Building as the ultimate romantic meeting place. I got a kick out of looking through the binoculars and looking down on the city I’d spent my entire life living and working in. It was beautiful from this high up, and the twilight made the views more spectacular.
It was so windy, my hair kept wrapping around my face as I was try
ing to look out of the bars. I glanced over at Lucas and he was staring at me with a weird expression. Like he was in some kind of trance.
“Hey, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing, it’s …you’re beautiful.”
I strode over to where he stood and ran my fingers along the trimmed stubble on his jaw. He caught my hand and smiled.
“You aren’t so bad, either.” Lucas smiled and tried to smooth my hair off my face but the wind was too strong.
Lucas whispered in my ear, “Ever been kissed on top of the Empire State Building?”
“I came here with my eighth grade class—with nuns and class mothers chaperoning us. So that’s a no.”
Lucas pulled me towards him and kissed me, wrapping his arms around my waist. He even dipped me a little like they did in the movies. He pulled me back up and gave me a sexy smile.
“Good date so far?”
“I’d say so.”
I couldn’t wait to see what else Lucas would show me that would be like I was seeing it for the first time.
We strolled to a small tavern for dinner. I was surprised when Lucas slid in next to me instead of across from me in our booth. He put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me close as he looked at the menu. I glanced up at him and giggled.
“What’s so funny?”
“I expected you to sit across from me. You’re cute when you’re clingy.” I kissed his cheek and snuggled into his side as our waitress brought us our drinks.
“I’m making up for lost time. Do you know how many lunches and coffee dates I wanted to do this?” Lucas kissed my cheek, and inched his lips down my neck. “Or this.” I jumped when he licked then bit my earlobe. A moan escaped me and he chuckled.
“Sorry. I know you want to take this slow. Now that I can kiss you, it’s hard to stop. I’ll try to keep myself in check. Promise.” He took his arm off my shoulder and held the menu with both hands.
Always You Page 6