I took Lucas’s face in my hands and gave him a soft kiss, nibbling his bottom lip as I pulled away.
“I know what you mean. I don’t want to stop kissing you either.”
Lucas handed me a menu and looked away. He got serious and moved a little further away from me. I made him uncomfortable but wasn’t sure how. I put my hand on top of his and he looked back at me.
“Did I say something wrong?”
Lucas smirked and shook his head. “I need to not touch you or kiss you for a little while. I’m afraid I’ll shove you into the bathroom in the back or the alley outside, which would be the complete opposite of slow.”
I noticed the single-person bathroom and alley outside too—and had the same fleeting thought. Taking it slow was proving to be much harder than I thought it would be.
“We went out of order didn’t we? Friendship, incredible sex, and now taking it slow. We probably gave each other whiplash.” I laughed, but Lucas shut his eyes and huffed at me.
“Now what? I’m screwing up our first real date aren’t I?”
“No, Samantha.” Lucas whispered in my ear. “Hearing you bring up the incredible sex just makes me want a lot more of it. We need a change in subject—now.”
“You thought it was incredible, too?” I gave him a devious smile. Seeing Lucas uncomfortable was rare, and I couldn’t resist busting his chops.
Lucas scowled at me and I couldn’t help laughing. He leaned in to whisper again. “It was beyond fucking incredible, so unless you want me to drag you under the table for a repeat… Change.In.Subject.”
Heat pooled between my legs. Joke was on me now—me and my stupid rational thinking and wanting to take it slow.
I scooted away from Lucas in the booth and nodded. “Okay, point taken. We never really talked about your life in California. I usually monopolize all our conversations with my sad little problems. What was it like?”
Lucas shrugged. “There really wasn’t that much more than what I told you. San Diego was a nice city, but I worked a lot of long hours so I didn’t get to enjoy it that much. I like my job and life here a lot better. It really wasn’t the never-ending Baywatch episode that you like to think it was.”
“Oh, come on. There wasn’t an endless string of blonde bombshells trying to get your attention?”
“I dated, if that’s what you’re asking, but never anything serious. Until recently, no one ever held my interest for long.” Lucas gave me a sweet smile.
“When was recently?” I moved closer to him and lifted his hand, interlocking our fingers. Lucas picked up our joined hands and kissed my wrist.
“Recently was about five months ago. I met a beautiful woman for a drink and have been ruined ever since.” Lucas cocked an eyebrow at me.
“Ruined?” I crinkled my nose at Lucas, and he gave me a soft kiss on the lips.
“Ruined in the best possible way.” He put his arm back around me and called the waitress over to our table to take our order.
I was ruined too. And ruined never felt so good.
As I pulled into Marc’s parents’ driveway, I felt liberated. The last of my soon to be ex-douchebag husband’s things were in a box in the trunk. My house was officially rid of anything that was his, and it was a heady and fanfreakingtastic feeling. When he got back from Chicago, he would have no reason to come to the house, other than to see his daughter. He hadn’t called her once in the four months he was gone, so I doubted he would make an effort to actually see her once he got back.
Marc’s mother Jeannie answered the door with a frown on her face.
“More boxes? His old room is almost full. Is this the last of it?”
“Sure is. When he gets back from Chicago he can come straight here.” I tried to keep the smile out of my voice as I handed over the rest of her son’s belongings.
Her brow furrowed as she glared at me. “I’ll keep them here, but it’s going to be silly when you just have to take them back home when you make up.”
I put my hand on her arm. “Jeannie, we won’t be making up. Papers have been drawn up. Locks have been changed. We’re done.” She let out a long sigh, but didn’t look like she paid attention to a word I said.
“Since Marc’s job has been extended, we’d like to take Bella a couple of weekends each month. It’s nice picking her up from school once a week, but since her father left we don’t see her as much.”
Bella was close to her grandparents, and since she had no contact with her father, I didn’t want to ruin that. Plus, being able to see Lucas on the weekends sometimes would be wonderful.
“I would be fine with that. Wait—did you just say that his job was extended?” Marc hadn’t called once in all the time he was gone. I received rare one-word text answers when I attempted to contact him.
“Oh yes—for another three months at least. We miss him but I’m so glad he’s doing well.” Marc’s mother idolized her son. I never knew whether to feel sorry for her or blame her for the awful way he turned out.
“Well, maybe he can speak to his daughter when she’s here, since he never calls the house. You can let him know he forgot her birthday.”
“Oh, I’m sure he didn’t mean to forget. He’s very busy, and you should really cut him some slack—” I held up my hands to stop her from talking. Another great thing about getting divorced was I didn’t have to tolerate any more guilt trips from my mother-in-law.
“He’s not my problem anymore; he’s yours. We have no plans for this coming weekend. I can drop her off after her dance class Saturday morning and come to get her Sunday evening. Does that work for you?”
“Sure. Thank you, Samantha.” Jeannie had a hint of a smile on her face as she called Bella to the door. She picked Bella up and gave her a big hug and kiss before she handed her back to me. She did love her granddaughter and both of Marc’s parents spoiled Bella any chance they got. I welcomed any normalcy I could keep in Bella’s life.
“So, isn’t this great? I don’t have to worry about Bella and can focus on the hot older guy who wants to buy me dinner?”
Lucas and I were enjoying an outdoor lunch in Madison Square Park. I loved New York City in the spring. April was always my favorite month, and everything was in full bloom. My good mood made everything seem even brighter. I snuggled into Lucas’s side and grabbed his hand, intertwining our fingers.
“Older guy, huh?” He leaned his head on top of mine and pulled me closer.
, “Well, yeah, you’re still five years older than me. And I did say hot, did you miss that?
“Oh, I heard you. Where do you want to go?”
“Hmm, I don’t know, I was thinking of Blue Water Grill, but I really don’t care where we go. What do you think?”
Lucas glanced away. He was a little hard to read. I thought he’d be happier about this, and I was more than a little disappointed it seemed that he wasn’t.
“We don’t have to go out. I thought since I didn’t have to worry about who was taking care of Bella we could do something. But if you have other plans, it’s totally fine.” I pulled my hand away and gathered up the trash from lunch.
Lucas grabbed my arm and pulled me back. “Slow down a second, Sam. I can see the wheels turning in your head. Of course, I want to spend time with you. That’s all I think about. I have an idea where we can go. How about Thirtieth and Third?”
“Where your apartment is? Is there a new place to eat there?” I didn’t remember hearing about any new restaurants.
“I meant my apartment. We could order in. And you could stay the night with me, if you want.” Lucas kissed the back of my hand. “Bella is with her grandparents all weekend?” He gave me an unsure smile, like he wasn’t sure how I’d react to that.
Did I want to spend the night with him again? God, yes. I still wanted to take it slow, but I thought about Lucas all the time—and in most of that time he was naked. If I went back to his apartment, there would be no self-control for either of us. Being alone with no time constraint would h
ave the exact same effect on us it did before. Were we ready for that?
I took a deep breath. “Yes, she is. I’ll come to your apartment Saturday and we’ll order in. Can I get back to you on spending the night?” I gave him a sideways glance. I didn’t want to hurt him again or offend him. I wasn’t avoiding things like during those two weeks I didn’t see or speak to him, but I wanted to be cautious.
Lucas gave me a big smile and nodded. “Sure, Sam.”
I was more than a little rattled, and needed time to think.
When I got back to my office, I realized I should have gone home instead since I was useless. I really did want to spend the night with Lucas again, but I still felt uneasy about it. We had a great thing going. A great undefined thing, but I didn’t want to ruin it. I kept running pros and cons over and over in my head.
Lucas called after I got Bella in bed. We had packed her bag for grandma and grandpa’s house, and I had a strong pang of mom guilt weighing heavily in my stomach. She should spend time with her grandparents. And regardless of what—or who—I was doing, I deserved time to myself too. But as much as I tried to rationalize things, the pangs still didn’t go away.
“Hey Sam, were you under the covers waiting for me?”
“Now I am. I got Bella packed and in bed and took a shower since I was a sweaty mess from kickboxing tonight.”
Lucas groaned. “I like thinking about you being a sweaty mess. Did you decide about tomorrow?”
“Not yet. It’s not because I don’t want to stay the night—believe me. I just don’t want to move too fast.”
“I get that, and it’s okay. I don’t want to pressure you. I’ll be happy being able to hold you on my couch while we watch the crap TV you seem to like.”
“Crap TV? What are you talking about?”
“Last time you were here, I had to suffer through the Real Housewives of New Jersey.”
“We only saw maybe the beginning of it before you made me shut it off before dinner, remember?”
Lucas laughed. “No, actually I don’t remember. I was preoccupied with something else. I blame it on the skimpy outfit you had on.”
“Skimpy outfit? I had a client meeting that day and thought we were going out later. It was a blouse and a skirt, you animal.”
“When you took that little jacket off, it was all I could do not to strip you right there and run my tongue along every sexy curve of your body.”
My mouth got so dry I couldn’t swallow. I’d never had phone sex before—unless you count the time an ex-boyfriend and I tried it as teenagers and his brother picked up the other line.
“At least you were nice enough to let me eat first.” Not the sexiest reply, but I needed time to warm up. “What else do you remember?”
Lucas took a deep breath.
“I remember trying to ignore how incredible you looked. The shirt you had on was low cut enough that if you leaned over, I could look right down. I saw you spilling out of a black lace bra and I wanted to rip it off and see how long it took your nipples to get hard in my mouth. You looked so fucking good in that skirt. When I ran my hand up your thighs, you were so wet, and I’d barely even touched you. God, Sam…do you have any idea what you do to me?”
Holy shit. He was good at this.
“I don’t think you know the effect you have on me either.” Hearing Lucas breathing heavy made me a little brave.
“Oh yeah? What do I do to you, baby?” His voice went low and raspy and sent a shiver up my spine. “Tell me.”
“I still remember the day I met you. You took off your shirt to get in the pool, and I memorized every muscle and hard ridge. I spent the next three years ignoring the need to worship every inch with my tongue. I wanted to lick an outline around your abs, and head lower to see what you would taste like. All these years later, you somehow got even sexier than you were back then. When you kissed me and pulled me close, I felt how hard you were—all over. All I want to do is taste you again.”
My hand moved between my legs, my fingers making the light circles around my clit that Lucas drove me crazy with that night. I closed my eyes and pretended it was him. Being with him, as much as I wanted to take it slow, created an aching need inside me more powerful than any college girl crush.
After a few long moments of silence, I stopped touching myself and draped my hand over my eyes.
Way to ruin a moment, Samantha.
“Lucas? Are you still there?” Finally, he breathed an audible sigh.
“Are you trying to fucking kill me, Sam? I’m a minute away from jumping into a cab and heading straight to your house. I would be on my way now if I wasn’t so hard I can barely walk.”
Lucas groaned, and I smiled at how flustered he was getting over me.
“Nothing tastes sweeter than you, baby. I could eat you for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. It was torture not to be able to touch you for all those months. Every time we said goodbye, all I could think about was that perfect mouth, those full red lips. How they would feel on mine or wrapped around my cock. Now that I know, I’m hooked. Addicted to every fucking part of you.”
I was lost in the sexy timbre of his voice. A moan escaped me as my eyes rolled back in my head.
“Fuck, Sam—are you touching yourself? Are you wet for me?”
“Very wet, Lucas. I wish it were you touching me. How hard are you right now?”
This was the most worked up I’d gotten since I left Lucas’s apartment. I was squirming and writhing against my hand, thinking about his words as flashbacks of our night together that played over and over in my head. Even over the phone, he knew exactly what to do to send me over the edge.
“So hard it’s fucking painful. I wish I were doing more than just touching you. I wish my face was between your legs so I could lick it all up. You ready to come for me?”
“Almost, Lucas … I want you so much.” My words were strained as tremors traveled down the lower half of my body.
“I want you, too. You wouldn’t believe how much. I want you to come in my mouth and slide down the wall like you did that night. I’ve never seen anything so fucking hot in all my life.”
Before I knew it, I was screaming out Lucas’s name as he responded with mine, followed by a myriad of jumbled curses. We were both panting as I fell back on my pillow, dizzy and blissfully spent.
“Lucas?” I ran my hands through my sweaty hair.
“Yeah, Sam?” I chuckled at how Lucas’s deep voice sounded so small.
“Can I still spend the night tomorrow?”
“Absofuckinglutely! How soon could you get here?”
Slow and steady wins the race, but keeping it slow and steady hadn’t done much for me in my life so far. And the hell with slow and steady when you were talking about Lucas Hunter.
I was really going to do this. I was going to spend the night with my … my—Lucas. What was a label anyway? Useless, right?
I dropped Bella off at her grandparents, and then went home to pack. I was never one for sexy lingerie; the hottest eveningwear I owned was a Victoria’s Secret cotton baby doll nightgown so I threw it in. Makeup, contacts, toothbrush, birth control pills (I especially didn’t want to forget those suckers), skinny jeans and a fancy black top in case we went somewhere. Ok, this was dumb. I’d slept at his apartment before, and only needed one outfit since I was naked most of the time and did fine without all the provisions. I finished over-packing and headed to the train.
My phone buzzed with a text as I reached the subway station.
Lucas: I hope you’re on the train right now. I can’t wait until you’re all mine tonight.
All the bravery I felt after the awesome phone sex we had last night seemed to have vanished. Plus, Bella wouldn’t let me go when I dropped her off. I had a mixture of guilt—again— nerves, and, I was ashamed to say, near dread floating around in my stomach instead of the eager butterflies I should have been in anticipation of having Lucas all to myself for a night.
I rang the bell outside a
nd he buzzed me in. I ran up the stairs as fast as I could with the stupid heavy bag I needed to bring, and Lucas was waiting at the top of the stairs with a big smile.
“Took you long enough to get here.” Lucas joked with a sexy grin and a wink. He looked so good in just a tight white T-shirt and jeans. I gave him a smirk and shook my head.
He took my bag from me and laughed. “Did you run away? This is pretty heavy.”
“I…I don’t know…packing all that stuff made sense an hour ago.” I groaned and put my face in my hands as I followed him inside. Way to play things cool. I was supposed to spend the night and packed like I was moving in.
Lucas put my bag down and pulled me into his arms once he shut the door. “Come here.” I put my head against his chest since I was too embarrassed to meet his eyes. He pulled away a little and put his finger under my chin to lift my face.
“We can go as fast or as slow as you want. You’re here, and you’re with me. That’s all I care about. Okay?” He gave me a soft kiss on my lips and cocked an eyebrow. “Okay?’
“Okay.” I kissed him back and buried my head in Lucas’s neck. He rubbed my back and I relaxed a little.
“So what do you want to eat?” I tried to make small talk but I was still a little too worked up for dinner.
“We can wait, come sit with me for a while.” Lucas took my hand and led me over to the couch. He sometimes knew how to read me so well it was a little scary.
I sat next to him and curled into his side, laying my head on his chest. I was still upset about Bella and how maybe I shouldn’t have agreed to her staying overnight.
“Something bothering you?” He looked down at me with a little bit of a frown, like he was concerned. Good thing I wasn’t a poker player. My tells were obvious.
“Bella didn’t want to let me go when I dropped her off. I hope she’s stopped crying by now.”
“She’s with her grandparents, right? And although they raised a jerk-off…”
I giggled at him and he shrugged. No arguments from me there.
“You said they were nice people. You’re allowed to have time to yourself, Sam—it doesn’t make you a bad mother.” Lucas ran his fingers through my hair and my eyelids fluttered a little at how good it felt. He chuckled as I melted into his chest.
Always You Page 7