Always You

by Stephanie Rose

  I buried my face in my pillow, not having the strength to actually lift it up. Soft, warm lips ran up my naked back and wet kisses trailed across the nape of my neck. I moaned as I squirmed from the delicious torture. I lost track of how many times Lucas and I “made up” last night. I turned over to see a playful look on Lucas’s face.

  “Morning, beautiful.” Lucas hovered over me and kissed my forehead and cheeks before moving to my lips. I wouldn’t have minded staying in bed all day, but I had a little girl to pick up—and didn’t want to leave her in that house any longer than was necessary.

  “It’s nice waking up like this. I may never let you leave.” I buried my face in Lucas’s neck and enjoyed the groans he made as I kissed behind his ear.

  “Keep doing that, and I won’t go anywhere.” I giggled as I buried my head in his neck.

  “Then, don’t go. Stay with me.” I froze, realizing that without realizing it, I just asked Lucas to move in.

  Lucas pulled back and looked at me with narrowed eyes.

  “Did you just ask me what I think you did? Stay with you, meaning live here with you?”

  The adrenaline coursing through my veins woke me right up. After all that happened between us over the past day, I was certain Lucas and I were permanent. He pretty much lived here anyway. We spent maybe two nights per week apart, if that. But, maybe making it official by actually moving in was rushing it a bit.

  “Yes… I mean no.” I sat up and put my face in my hands. Lucas squinted at me, confusion all over his face.

  “What I meant was that I love having you here. I love sleeping in your arms and waking up with you, and want this to be your home so you never have to leave. But, if you aren’t ready for it or don’t think it was a good idea, it’s alright. I’m not mad or anything, I just thought—” Lucas put his finger on my lips and laughed.

  “Do you have any idea how adorable you are when you ramble? I would love to move in. I hate being away from you. I never suggested it because I thought you weren’t ready for it. I’m all in. You’re it for me. I never want to wake up again without you next to me.”

  I felt like standing on my bed and jumping up and down, but figured I had enough bruises from falling this week. Instead, I jumped on top of Lucas and attacked his mouth. He chuckled against my lips and flipped me over so he was on top of me. His expression was serious.

  “I love you so much.” Lucas weaved his fingers through my hair and pulled me back into a kiss. Things got heated quickly as he kissed a path from my neck, down my collarbone and stopping at my breasts. He gave me a hungry stare as he bit my nipple and then sucked it into his mouth.

  “Mmm, Lucas. I think we need to get out of this bed or we’ll never leave.”

  Lucas smirked at me and cocked an eyebrow.

  “I don’t like to go anywhere until I eat breakfast.” His mouth continued its descent down my body until he got to the apex of my thighs. My head fell back, and I figured a few more minutes wouldn’t hurt.

  Mornings were going to be awesome from now on.

  “Breakfast” lasted longer than I thought. We didn’t make it to Marc’s parents’ house until noon. I was a little apprehensive picking Bella up knowing Marc was probably there. We ended things as amicably as we could, but this was the first time I’d see him after officially ending our marriage.

  When Jeannie answered the door, she gave me a look I couldn’t quite describe, but it made me uneasy. Maybe she was like her son and thought I was just having a tantrum and never truly believed I would go through with the divorce. Whatever the case, we were over—and now everyone knew it, and had to deal with it.

  “Hey, Jeannie! Is Bella ready to go?”

  “Yes, she’s been packed since this morning. I’m surprised you’re here so late.” Jeannie never complained if I was late picking up Bella, so the curt tone in her voice was odd.

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you needed me to pick her up by a certain time.”

  “No, it’s fine. I guess you were with your new boyfriend—Lucas, is it? Bella has been talking about him since Saturday and kept asking when you were coming to pick her up so she could see him before he goes home.”

  Usually when Bella stayed with her grandparents, Lucas wasn’t at the house. I stayed with him at his apartment. So I supposed knowing Lucas was there, Bella wanted to get home to see him. This was probably the reason for the cold shoulder I was getting from my soon to be former mother-in-law.

  “Mommy!” Bella came running out from behind her grandmother and almost knocked me over.

  “Hey baby! Did you have fun with Grandma and Grandpa?’

  “Yep! We went to the movies yesterday. Daddy said he was tired and he had a headache, so we couldn’t make too much noise in the house.” Marc’s swinging bachelor life continued. I had hoped he’d spend at least some time with Bella. Even to sit and talk to her for a minute. He was still a big child, but he wasn’t my problem anymore.

  “Is Lucas in the car?” I caught Bella by the hand as she almost took off to run to the curb. Lucas must’ve seen her; he got out of the car and met her on the sidewalk.

  “Hey, Butterfly! I missed you!” She ran into Lucas’s open arms and he scooped her up.

  “Do you have to go home yet?” Bella clung to Lucas’s neck as he kissed her forehead.

  “Nope. I can stay with you as long as you want.” Lucas looked over at me and smiled. I wasn’t the only one who would love Lucas officially living with us.

  “Yay! I saw a movie yesterday, can you take me to one today?”

  “We’ll see, Bella.” He strolled over to Jeannie with Bella in his arms, extending his hand. “Hi, you must be Mrs. Christensen. I’m Lucas Hunter, nice to meet you.” Jeannie glared between Lucas and Bella and hesitantly took his hand to shake it.

  I reached for Bella’s backpack near the door. “Since you had Bella this weekend, we made plans for next Saturday. We can make up a new schedule.” Jeannie huffed at me and gave me a shrug in response.

  Jeannie was still staring at Bella and Lucas. He hadn’t put her down yet and was whispering in her ear, making her laugh.

  “I guess that’s fine. We can work out a schedule if Bella is still allowed to come here.”

  I narrowed my eyes at her. Jeannie wasn’t the friendliest person but she was never this cold. I was confused. “Of course she is, why wouldn’t she be?”

  “Oh you know. Things change.” She nodded over at Lucas. Who would think Marc’s mother would be the one most bothered over the fact I’d moved on. Jeannie looked perturbed by the easy rapport between Lucas and Bella. She had to know her son had no relationship with his daughter. Hey lady, point the finger at your son, not at me.

  We headed back to the car. Jeannie made me feel uneasy, but if she had issues with Lucas, that was her problem.

  “I thought you said she was nice.” Lucas pursed his lips and shook his head as we got in the car and drove off.

  I shrugged. “She’s been okay. I don’t think she appreciated hearing Bella ask for you all weekend or how close you both seemed. Bella was definitely never with Marc the way she is with you. You guys have your own little thing together, that’s for sure.”

  Lucas glanced at Bella through the rear view mirror.

  “Sounds like Mommy is a little jealous, Butterfly.” He turned around and gave her a wink and a big smile.

  “Lucas likes you too, Mommy. Don’t get mad.” We both laughed at my daughter’s attempt to make me feel better.

  Lucas reached for my hand as he was driving and kissed my wrist.

  “Yeah don’t get mad, Mommy. I like you, too.”

  After dinner, Bella begged us to rent a movie, but couldn’t keep her eyes open. I carried her into bed and read her half a story before she passed out.

  I strolled back into the living room and cuddled next to Lucas on the couch.

  “I love that you don’t have to go home.” He laughed and pulled me onto his lap.

  “That’s because I
’m already home. My home is where you are.” He ran his hand down my cheek and rested his forehead against mine.

  “You always know the right thing to say. Wanna do it on our couch?” Lucas burst out laughing.

  “Do it? Come here, you horny little teenager …” I yelped when he pulled me under him and hooked my leg over his hip.

  My cell phone rang, and I was about to send it to voicemail when I noticed it was Robyn calling.

  “I’m sorry, babe, its Robyn.” I sat up on the couch.

  “Hey girl. Everything okay?”

  “I didn’t want to call you at night, but I figured you’d want to know right away. Before I left work, I got a call from Marc’s lawyer. Samantha, he’s filing for joint custody.”

  Not a damn thing about any of this made sense. The first weekend Marc was back, he went right back to partying—not even spending time with Bella when they were in the same house. I told him I wouldn’t stop him from seeing her, as long as he didn’t pop in and out of her life. I didn’t think that was the reason he was now asking to share custody. Marc’s ego was bruised because he was the last person to know I was seeing someone, but other than that he didn’t care. That night he finally signed the papers, there was no plea from him to save our marriage or take him back. My head hurt from trying to figure out why we were in this mess.

  I called in sick to work. I couldn’t act like there was nothing wrong and my entire world wasn’t crumbling because someone was trying to take my little girl. Robyn said she’d come over after work and we’d come up with a game plan. I was desperately hoping she was the brilliant lawyer I believed her to be and she would say something to give me some reassurance or peace of mind.

  Lucas had a meeting he couldn’t get out of, but told me he was coming back home right afterwards. He was trying his best to comfort me, telling me we had nothing to worry about. I had a feeling he was as anxious as I was, but didn’t want to show it.

  I spent the entire day cleaning, organizing, and doing any kind of mindless house work to keep busy. Pretending in front of Bella was the worst part. Unfortunately, kids are always smarter than you think. She kept asking us why we were so quiet during dinner. Lucas and I didn’t say much, just kept looking at the clock and counting the minutes until Robyn walked through the door and told us she could stop Marc from getting half of my daughter.

  The doorbell rang and we both jumped.

  “Why are you guys being so silly?” Bella wrinkled her nose at us.

  “Adults act weird, Butterfly. I told you that, right? Why you should stay a kid.” Lucas picked her up from her seat and tickled her under her arm. She squirmed and giggled, and it tugged at my heart.

  I sprinted to the door, and when I opened it, I was out of breath.

  “Hi, Samantha. I’ve wanted to come over to see you guys for a while, but under better circumstances.” Robyn gave me a warm smile. She must’ve been in court today. Her long black hair was pulled back in a bun and she had on a navy jacket and skirt. I smiled at seeing “lawyer Robyn” for the first time, and observing my friend look the part made me feel a little better.

  “Hi, Robyn.” I gave her a big hug.

  “Stop worrying,” she whispered in my ear. “No one’s taking Bella, please trust me.”

  I nodded and invited her in, introducing her to Lucas.

  “Maybe we should go into the kitchen to talk.” I noted to Robyn, before getting Bella settled on the couch with a movie.

  Robyn nodded. “Probably a good idea.” She followed me into the kitchen.

  “The new man is hot, Samantha. Dayam girl!” Robyn whispered as she fanned herself. I laughed for the first time in a day. “How are things going?”

  “Really well. He’s moving in with us.” Robyn gave me an odd look, like the one I give Bella when she asks for a second ice cream. I had the feeling she was going to tell me that wasn’t a good idea.

  “Lucas needs to be a part of this conversation, then.”

  Lucas strolled into the kitchen. “I thought my ears were ringing.” He gave Robyn a big smile and sat down next to me at the table.

  “How long have you been together now?” Robyn asked as she was taking out papers in her briefcase.

  “I guess, a little over a year.” I looked at Lucas and he nodded.

  Robyn looked between us with a perplexed expression on her face.

  “I knew Lucas before. We—”

  “Wait a minute!” Robyn’s eyes bugged out of her head. “This is Lucas Lucas? Daina’s cousin, the college advisor, the—”

  “The huge crush. Yep, that’s me.” I smacked Lucas’s arm, making him laugh at my obvious discomfort.

  “Hmm, Samantha, I’m going to have to ask you a few questions you may not like. I don’t want you to get offended. Marc left a year ago right? Were you, together, at any time before that?”

  I shook my head. “We only started dating after Marc left. Before that, we were just friends.”

  “How did you reconnect? Didn’t Lucas move away while you were still in college?”

  “Facebook, believe it or not. We “friended” each other and met up for a drink when he moved back.”

  “When was that?” Robyn was taking notes now and it was bothering me. I couldn’t see what this had to do with anything.

  “Last October, I think. Why are you asking me all this?” I was getting irritated. We were wasting time.

  Robyn put her hand over mine. “Samantha, we all knew Marc. Tim and I hated watching how he treated you. I’m not asking you these questions to judge you. You look happy, and I’m delighted. You deserve that more than anyone. But I need to know if you were with Lucas while you were still married. If Marc’s lawyer plays dirty and tries to use it against us, I can handle it much better if I already know.”

  “We were friends for three months before—”

  “Was there any overlap at all between the time you were married to Marc and when you and Lucas were more than just friends?”

  I put my face in my hands, thinking of that one night at Lucas’s apartment before Marc left. Marc could sleep around and party all throughout our marriage, but I was about to be punished for my one indiscretion—and it pissed me off.

  “Samantha, please, as your lawyer I need to know—”

  “Two days before Marc left. So yes, there was an overlap. Now what?”

  Lucas pulled me closer to him and rubbed my back.

  “Calm down. She just needs to know so she’s prepared.” Lucas whispered in my ear as he tried to soothe me, but it wasn’t working. I was equal parts infuriated and scared out of my mind.

  Robyn was expressionless, all business.

  “Did anyone see you together? Were you ever in public?”

  “No, we were at his apartment one night and I came home early the next morning. Marc was packing for Chicago when I got home. We had a fight and I threw him out. Two days later, I called you to draw up separation papers.” I crossed my arms and hid my hands so they wouldn’t see them shaking. My stomach dropped as I realized karma may be coming to collect.

  “I don’t think it will be hard at all to prove your marriage soured long before that point. And Marc never contacted Bella the entire time he was away? Never sent you any child support?”

  “Nothing. He did ask about Bella the night he signed, and I told him he could see her, he just needed to be consistent. I didn’t even press for child support. I don’t know what’s making him do this.”

  “I do.” Lucas huffed, shaking his head.

  “You do?” Robyn and I asked at once.

  “Marc’s mother didn’t like the fact you and I seemed serious, and really didn’t like how close Bella and I looked when we picked her up from their house. She’s pissed her son has no relationship with his daughter so she’s trying to force it, and make sure she doesn’t get left behind when we start our own family.” I noted Lucas said ‘when’ not ‘if,’ and even in my scattered state, my heart warmed.

  “Now that I think abo
ut it, you may be right. He barely spoke to her this weekend, still has no interest in her and is just following what his mother wants. Jesus, this is frustrating! We can’t prove this and stop it?” I pleaded with Robyn, who now had sympathy in her eyes.

  “Right now, my advice is to let her go over there without fighting it. She’ll only be there every other weekend for the time being. And—this is very important—do not get into an argument with Marc or his mother. If there is an issue, call me right away and I’ll take care of it with his lawyer. I know the next few weeks are going to be hard, but if it’s really Marc’s mother behind all of this, it will come out soon enough. In the meantime, I’ll do a little digging and see if I can speed that up.”

  Robyn turned to me, and this time had a sad look on her face.

  “As far as Lucas moving in, he still can, but if he has an apartment, he should still keep it in case anyone checks. We don’t want to give them ammunition to use against you.”

  I nodded, putting all my faith in my friend, who I prayed was as smart as I always thought she was.

  After Bella went to sleep, I decided to take a nice long shower. I had painful tension in my neck and my eye was twitching. Robyn had told me not to worry, and Lucas was optimistic—at least in front of me— and tried his best to set my mind at ease. Neither were very successful in making me feel better. I tried to remember that it was only every other weekend right now. As much as I wanted to rip the hair out of Jeannie’s head for putting us through this, I did take a small amount of comfort in knowing she would take care of Bella.

  I stood under the showerhead with my eyes closed, letting the hot water hit the back of my neck to maybe provide some needed relief. I’d been running on pure adrenaline for two days between finally getting the papers signed, Nicole-gate, breaking up, Lucas moving in, and now prepping for a custody battle. Now feeling the after effects, my body was beaten and tired.

  I also couldn’t shake the feeling that this was my fault. I happily let Jeannie have Bella all those weekends so I could enjoy alone time with my boyfriend. It gave her a false sense of entitlement to my daughter and a say in how I lived my life.