by Phenomenon
“Hey beautiful!” Taurus shouted through the receiver.
“Did you try and kill your ex-girlfriend?” Kenisha blurted out. Taurus’ knees began to quiver and she dropped the beer on the hardwood floor. How could this happen? The enemy had thrown her past up in a moment where she was finally beginning to live life in a place of faith with relationships.
“Hello!?” Kenisha demanded. “Tell me. Did you try and kill your ex- girlfriend and the mailman showed up in time to stop you?”
“It’s not like that? Who told you that?” Taurus responded.
“Well tell me what it was like then, because me and my people don’t play that. I will not have you beating me and abusing me like you did her.” Kenisha began her heated rant. “How can you be both people? How can you be the person that I saw the other night and this different dangerous person that my brother told me about today?”
“Kenisha can I see you and just talk to you about it? You don’t know the whole story. I didn’t beat her. Just let me explain it to you.” Taurus begged for the opportunity to share the story. Previously she had thought that it was too soon, but because the enemy was trying to use the actions of her past to destroy her future, she knew what she had to do. She had to come clean.
“We can meet somewhere in public. I don’t want you at my house until I know who I’m dealing with.” Kenisha lashed out. Her words cut Taurus like a Highlander sword. She wasn’t a bad person and she needed Kenisha to realize that. “You know what?” Taurus surrendered. “Wherever you want to meet me is fine, but I’m not having this conversation over the phone.”
Kenisha agreed to meet Taurus at 6:30pm at the food court in the mall nearby. Taurus was on time whereas Kenisha was about 20 minutes late, so Taurus sat patiently waiting for the queen.
Chapter 5: She Had it Comin’
Kenisha
Kenisha couldn’t believe that there was some form of truth to what her brother had told her. She was so thrown back that even after she had agreed to meet with Taurus to hear her out, she considered not going. She went over the possibilities in her mind so long that when she finally decided to leave she was already late. Kenisha had expected Taurus to tell her that it was all a lie and that she didn’t know what Corey was talking about but instead she said “Let me speak to you in person.” Kenisha knew from her own past that was usually a sign that guilt and admittance would follow. However, the hope that Kenisha possessed outweighed the bad thoughts and warning signs that fluttered in her stomach.
Kenisha walked into the food court to see Taurus there. She looked amazing but her face showed her stress in the moment. Taurus immediately stood to greet Kenisha. She then pulled out Kenisha’s chair and invited her to sit down.
“Listen. I just want you to listen.” Taurus began. “I will tell you everything about this situation. I don’t want you to judge me and feel like I’m a bad person because I’m not. I’m not even the same person that I was then.”
“Oh my God, I hear that so much! So what? You don’t hit women anymore?” Kenisha stated in a sarcastic way. It was apparent that Kenisha had a judgment about the situation before evening hearing it. Taurus didn’t like that but she understood that in Kenisha’s situation she may have been a bit stand-off-ish as well.
“No I don’t hit women anymore, and I didn’t hit them then. But I will tell you about my ex-girlfriend Billie. She wasn’t the best girlfriend but I loved her. We were together two years and in those two years I never laid a finger on her in a threatening way. In that time frame she’d robbed me. She went in my savings account to pay for a car. I let her keep it and I forgave her. Then she secretly went to Jamaica with my father. She said nothing happened with them. She said that she just wanted to go on the trip and since my father was going there on business with his coworkers, he just wanted her to be his escort for the trip. I forgave her for that. She was mean to everybody around me. She alienated me from all of the people that loved me.”
At that point in the story, Taurus began visualizing all of the faces of the people that she once had in her life that were gone because of Billie and she began to breakdown.
Kenisha’s demeanor appeared to soften as Taurus continued talking. “Billie said she loved me so I took care of her. She worked a little part time job but she wanted to live in a house so I bought a house. She was mean to the new neighbors. She would throw water on the Girl Scouts that knocked at the door to sell cookies. She would run off for days with her friends and fuss when I went out for a drink after work but I still loved her and treated her right. I lived that life for years. One day, I came home and heard her having sex with a man in our basement while I sat outside waiting... waiting for her to open the door. And I snapped. I did snap. I had never behaved like that before. I slapped her across the face and she fell on some glass. And before it went any further the mailman heard her screaming and ran in. I knew that it was God intervening because that wasn’t even our regular mailman. He was just working the route for one day. I feel terrible about it all but please don’t judge me. Please forgive me. I’ve been repenting ever since. I know I’ve made some mistakes, but don’t let that stop you from getting to know who I’ve grown to be. You would cheat both of us if you ended this now.”
Kenisha’s facial expression was at first unreadable but it later turned to the face of a person that was not impressed. “What would you have done had the mailman not arrived?” Kenisha asked with contempt in her voice.
“I don’t know. I don’t even want to think about it to be honest. I’ve been trying to forget that day ever since it happened. I’ve grown closer to God since then. I don’t go to church as much as I should because of the way that they treat women that look gay and let’s face it; when I do go, all the church sees is a lesbian in God’s house. But I pray like nobody’s business and I make a conscious effort everyday to do His will. I may fall short but I make sure that I live a life where God orders my steps instead of the enemy.” Taurus reached out and grabbed both of Kenisha’s hands across the table. She leaned in and kissed her hands. “Just see me for who I am.”
Kenisha was obviously deep in thought but it didn’t appear to be thoughts that were in favor of Taurus. Kenisha spoke fast and a bit erratically. “I’m just having a hard time understanding that this is in your past. I would be taking a risk and putting myself in jeopardy and I’m not comfortable with that. Like I said earlier, how are you this person now and that other person then? It just doesn’t make sense to me. God could’ve stopped you before you beat her up and threw her onto the glass. You’re telling me that He waited to change you? He could’ve changed you then.” Kenisha’s neck rolled with every motion in the typical fashion of a sassy black woman.
Taurus began to open her mouth to defend herself and she felt a heat in her body. Her fingers tingled causing her to pull them back off of the table. He was there. His presence was in the mist. Taurus heard words in her spirit shout. “Defend no more!” Taurus was unsure and she knew that God would always confirm when He spoke to her by a repeat of confirmation. “Defend no more!” Again she heard it. “Say this!” The spirit informed Taurus of what to say. All the while Kenisha sat in confusion looking at Taurus across the table. From Kenisha’s point of view, Taurus looked like she was having a mental break down. Her eyes were moving from side to side as if she were reading an invisible text. Finally Taurus was able to speak after 3 minutes of complete silence.
“You act as if you know about perfection honey but you don’t. You’ve grown up in a church that spent little time living The Word of God so your knowledge is limited boo. Let me tell you this.” Taurus paused for the second confirmation. The spirit spoke to her again. “Say this!”
With obedience Taurus continued. “You want to know how I can have two different sides. Well my sides are no different. I was wrong with what I said to you before. I AM the same person that I was then. I was passionate about my anger just as I was passionate about my love. I showed action as a result of my pain just li
ke I showed action as a result of forgiveness. Anybody in the bible who God anointed was the same person in every aspect of their lives. God said David was a man after his own heart, but David was just as passionate about war as he was about forgiveness. He was passionate about loving God and he was passionate about loving women in the bedroom. He was passionate about being in The Word and he was passionate when he’d sin. This is how God built us. We’re the same through and through. The difference is that I’ve learned who to let control me. That’s what I didn’t have back then. I will NOT continue to defend myself to you because you are not worthy of it.”
Kenisha was shocked by the words that came out of Taurus’ mouth. Not only is she saying that she’s the same person that she was back then but she insulted Kenisha by saying that she wasn’t worthy to explain herself to. Kenisha had heard enough. She grabbed her purse and knocked the chair over on her way out. She didn’t say a word to Taurus upon leaving. In Kenisha’s mind this thing was over.
Taurus
Taurus arrived home from the mall and flopped down on her couch. She tried to watch TV but was distracted by her spoiled plans. She pained silently. Her chest heaved with tightness that she ignored. If this was her time to die by heart attack she was willing to let it happen. She knew that God was a God of second chances but her pain came from the fact that the world was not like God. She had lived so upright waiting for an opportunity to be with someone that was worthy of her and that she was worthy of. Taurus wasn’t angry at God but she was so confused by His actions that she stayed silent. She understood that her obedience made Him happy. She said what she was told to say but without His intervention Taurus would have continued to try and win Kenisha over. She didn’t know why God told her to stop explaining and to give Kenisha such harshness. Taurus was a ball of emotions. She knew that her outlet could’ve been a conversation with God. He would’ve shed light on the situation for her but her pain was too heavy. Taurus sat on the couch as day turned to night. In those hours she didn’t pray.
Kenisha
Kenisha could barely make it to the house before she broke into tears. The overwhelming feeling of her secret was tearing her apart. She couldn’t believe that she’d judged Taurus with such contempt after knowing that God speaks to her. Kenisha was so fearful that God had told Taurus her secret. She would never be able to face Taurus again although she didn’t know if she even wanted to face her again. How could Taurus be so ruthless? Kenisha pained because she was searching for something that she thought Taurus could provide, an escape. She had been so desperate to be swept away that she was willing to run off with a person that she didn’t know anything about.
“Be desperate for me!” God’s spirit resonated in Kenisha’s thoughts. Kenisha had never heard that voice in her head before. She ignored the crazy thoughts that she was having and continued to cry. At 8:15pm the phone rang. Kenisha was lying across her bed on top of a tear drenched pillow. She answered the phone with a sob filled “Hello?”
“Hey sis, are you ok?” Corey’s voiced leaped through the phone.
“Yea I’m fine. I just can’t talk right now ok. I’m gonna go. But I’m fine. Love you.” Kenisha ended the phone call forgetting her previous arrangement with her brother. She placed the phone down and continued to cry.
“Hey man, we need to roll out to my sister’s place real quick. Remember that gay chick that you told me about? I think she’s over there and my sister sounded like she was crying.” Corey stated to his friend named Drew that was behind the wheel of the Caprice Classic. Drew was very close with the family. He’d been around for years helping Corey’s mom Caroll to the grocery store to run errands and checking on Kenisha every now and then; so he too was concerned about Kenisha and made a bee line straight for her place.
Corey knew that Kenisha didn’t say the code phrase so he was ready to do what he had to do to protect his sister. Corey along with Drew and two of his other friends in the back seat placed the open bottles of Remy Martin Cognac away and put the pedal to the metal. When they arrived, three of them jumped out of the car almost in S.W.A.T. team fashion. Corey banged on the door like the police. Kenisha startled out of her sorrow leaped to her feet with the urgency of the knock. She swung the door open only to see her intoxicated brother and his two tallest friends.
“Are you ok?” Corey asked as he bombarded through the door and began looking around. “I’m fine.” Kenisha responded.
“Where are your car keys?” Corey asked his sister.
Kenisha motioned to the dresser. Corey grabbed the car keys and led his sister to the car. He did this in case someone was in the house intimidating her to say that everything was fine when it wasn’t. His friends followed him closely as Corey got into his sister’s car and began driving.
“It’s fine Corey. She wasn’t there.” Kenisha responded. She was aware of what he was doing. She knew that Corey took her safety very seriously. They had been through a lot together over the years.
“Why are you crying then?” Corey asked as he pulled over near the park by the lake and turned the ignition off.
Kenisha couldn’t help herself anymore. She burst into uncontrollable tears. Corey placed his arms around his sister comforting her the way that he always had. “Tell me what’s wrong baby. Just tell me.” “I was so angry with her when we talked. I met her at the mall.” Kenisha began to explain. “She told me that it was different. She told me all the stuff that girl had done and said that she would never do that kinda stuff to me. She said it was different. I wanted to believe her Corey. I really wanted to but you know daddy used to say the same stuff.”
Corey listened to his sister relive the horror that used to be their lives. He knew that this was the reason that she had remained single for so long. He knew that this shadow had been her Achilles heel. He just hadn’t expected her to ever admit it.
“What made you want to believe her?” Corey inquired. “She just ain’t nothing like him. She’s so gentle and sweet. She’s not moody or anything like daddy was. She’s never yelled at me or called me names. She loves God. She’s just a powerful woman. And she says she cares about me. Daddy was a monster. She’s no monster. It’s just hard for me to trust her after everything that’s happened.” Kenisha confessed.
“You’re supposed to be cautious but not fearful baby. Every man or every woman that you date ain’t gonna be like daddy. And if you walk into every relationship thinking that it will be, then you’ll cheat yourself out of being happy.” Corey continued to comfort his sister. He rubbed her shoulders and kissed her forehead. “We both have issues behind what happened. I know that’s why you’ve been single and that’s why I drink so much but I don’t believe that this is it for us. Our lives will get better. We just have to put in the work and trust God to rebuild us.”
Kenisha nodded her head in agreement. She agreed with Corey but she didn’t know where to begin. “Do you know where she lives?” Corey asked.
“Yes.” Kenisha responded.
“Well she can’t be anything like daddy because she tried to explain it to you. You know daddy didn’t explain a damn thing.” Corey laughed a bit. “Let me talk to her. Then we’ll see where it goes from there. Let’s go.” Corey put the car in reverse and began driving toward Taurus’ house in the cul-de-sac of gossip with his friends in tow behind them.
Chapter 6: The Wrong Block to F*ck With
Taurus
Taurus had been sitting in the same position for hours. It was now 9:30pm and she decided that she should begin unpacking her suitcases. It was obvious that tomorrow’s trip wasn’t happening. As Taurus walked up the stairs to her bedroom, the mere sight of the suitcases brought her to her knees. She sat in the middle of her hallway unable to walk into the bedroom. She began to cry out.
“Why? Just please help me understand why God? I did what you asked me to do. You said that if I obeyed you that you would give me the desires of my heart. All I want is companionship. I serve you without question. Even when I don’t thi
nk it’s a good idea for the situation. I lean not on my own understanding and I do what you say and I’m here by myself AGAIN. I don’t understand it. I just want to be happy, even if it’s just for one day. I want to experience what that feels like. I don’t even remember.”
Taurus remained silent waiting to hear God’s reply. But she heard nothing in her spirit. She was familiar with what God’s voice sounded like so she was certain that He hadn’t answered her. She impatiently slapped her hands on the floor in an effort to get God’s attention. Still, she heard nothing. For a moment, a brief moment, she looked at the long case of stairs that ran beside her. She wondered if she rolled herself down the stairs and hit her head hard enough on the wall, if she would be taken out of her misery.
“They’ll just never let me forget.” Taurus said to herself. “They’ll never let me forget what I did. I hate this place. I don’t belong here. I’m lonely and I don’t know if I can take another night by myself.” Taurus sat in the hallway outside of her bedroom and waited for God’s answer. She didn’t want to keep waiting but her faith kept expecting Him to answer. With every minute of silence came disappointment.
“God say something! If you love me just say something!” She cried. “Taurus!” At that moment a loud bang fell on the front door. She heard someone calling her name. It was Corey yelling for Taurus to open the door.
“Taurus! Open up.” Corey had a tendency of banging on doors like the police regardless to who he was visiting.
“Who is it?” Taurus yelled back while looking out of the living room window.
“It’s Corey! I’m Kenisha’s brother!” He shouted. “What do you want? I didn’t touch your mothaf***in’ sister! Leave me alone!” Taurus prepared herself for battle. She knew that he was the one that delivered the bad history report about her and she was in no mood to be humble. Taurus felt like she had apologized as much as she could and she deserved to be free from her past.