In The End, Only Darkness

by O'Rourke, Monica

  “So am I.”

  They didn’t talk for several minutes, just stared at the water. Finally Danielle broke the silence. “How?”

  “How what?” he asked hesitantly.

  “You know what.”

  He shrugged. “What’s the most painless way?”

  “Old age,” she said, and laughed.

  Jake glanced at the sky. The sun struggled to break the horizon. “Come with me,” he said quietly, and pulled her to her feet.

  They walked to the water’s edge, and he began to unbutton his shirt.

  “What are you doing?” Danielle peered into the dark depths, barely able to see her own reflection. “The water must be freezing.”

  “I’ll keep you warm.”

  “But Jake …” Danielle sighed, and stepped away from the edge of the water. “It-it can’t be this way. I can’t do this.”

  He stopped undressing and took her hands. “What did she mean by ‘sacrifice’? I think the only way to escape this is to sacrifice ourselves.”

  “Yes, but the water—”

  “We’ll be together. It will be over in a matter of minutes. One deep breath … and then it will be over.”

  Danielle shivered against his body. “I don’t think I can,” she whispered.

  “Take my hand. Come with me.”

  They undressed, the starlight casting them in shadow, the brink November dawn—the morning after Halloween—breathing its chill air on them. Holding hands, they stepped into the frigid water, and he pulled her close against his body.

  Danielle gasped, goose bumps breaking out on her skin. Jake entered her, knowing the freezing water would prevent him from staying hard unless he was already inside her. He led her deeper into the water.

  He didn’t let her dawdle, brought them quickly to the depths to more easily adapt to the temperature. Once they were up to their necks, he stopped, and she wrapped her legs around his body, calves resting against his buttocks. His hands roamed, caressed, found her cold flesh eager for warmth. His mouth found her breasts and suckled one and then the other, the nipples already rigid from the freezing water.

  His penis, hard despite the cold, moved slowly inside her, and she squeezed her vaginal muscles in anticipation.

  “So cold,” she said, teeth chattering. “Make me warm. Please, make me warm.”

  His hands grabbed the back of her head and he pressed his lips into hers, tongue darting into her mouth. “I love you so much,” he said. “This will be over soon.”

  “I know,” she said, tears leaking down her face.

  They submerged, keeping the pounding rhythm of his strokes, making love for the last time.

  One deep breath, he’d said. But her lungs fought for life, refused to inhale water. Her lungs began to scream for air, and she began to hate the feel of his lips on her mouth, the feel of him pounding inside her. She wanted him to stop. She wanted to breathe.

  He moved away from her, but just his head. She watched as it broke the surface of the lake, and still he fucked her, moving rapidly now, and she twisted and writhed beneath him, fought him, tried to escape his fucking.

  Suddenly she hated making love to him, hated him touching her, hated being close to him. She would have killed him to escape now, if only she could.

  The need to breathe became desperate, and she thrashed wildly, moving impossibly slow in the water despite her efforts. And she began to orgasm, and as she opened her mouth to draw a breath … she was no longer able to care about an orgasm, or about Jake. Wanting only to breathe. To live.

  And Jake watched her from the other side of the water, the safe side, the side with oxygen, tears dripping off his chin, sobs shredding his heart. She bucked beneath him, punched and clawed until finally she stopped moving. He watched her die. He watched her die and wondered if this sacrifice would finally set them free.

  He pulled Danielle’s lifeless body to the surface and sobbed against her chest, pulling her tight, unable to let go.

  “You’re free now,” he said, choking on his words. “Free. Oh, Danni, I hope this sets you free.”

  He pulled her to the bank and carried her lifeless body beneath a tree, dressing her, wanting in some way to keep her warm, safe.

  The sun revealed itself, betraying Jake. But he was still alone. No sign of the witch, no return to the trees.

  He was free.

  But now what? He had taken the cowardly way out—he had lived. But to what end? This was not his world. These were no longer his people. What was he going to do? How would he survive without Danielle?

  He wandered across the road to the familiar copse of trees that had once been his prison and sat cross-legged beneath a weeping willow. There was no good reason he could think of that he’d come back here, except perhaps because of the familiarity, no matter how awful the memories. He had spent decades beside Danielle here. And now he had nothing.

  “Was it worth it?” she asked, unseen, her voice part of the wind. As if she had sighed the question.

  “Leave me alone,” he muttered, eyes closed, remembering Danielle.

  “Look at me,” the witch said.

  He looked. She stood before him, the wild, crazy look gone, replaced by a calm demeanor, a modern image. Gone was the hair of snakes, the flowing, thorned robes.

  “What do you want from me? Have you come to gloat? Tell me I’m finally free?”

  She laughed. “Oh, no. Nothing like that.” She sat beside him beneath the tree.

  “Then what do you want?”

  “Did you think you’d get away so easily? That murdering the one thing that mattered to you would somehow appease me?”

  He shook his head. “I have no idea.”

  “I don’t forgive, Jake. And I don’t forget.”

  “When you said I should make a sacrifice, what did you mean? What sacrifice? Didn’t you mean me and Danni?”

  “You’ll never understand pure sacrifice. You’re doomed to eternity as a tree, you fool.”

  “So what does that mean? I’m still stuck being a tree?” Somehow he wasn’t surprised. Now he wouldn’t even have Danielle beside him to commiserate with. Now he would be forced to endure this alone.

  “Stuck being a tree. Is that the only thing you’ve learned from all this? Is it still only about you, about your suffering? Have you still not learned why this has happened to you? You’re a selfish, miserable creature!”

  “Be done with it, witch! If you’re going to do it, then do it! Spare me the lecture.”

  “Ohhh, you’re even more stupid than I imagined,” she crooned. “Still, I would hate for you to be alone. And you’ll have another year to imagine what your reunion will be like. Enjoy!”

  Jake looked up at her, confused. “What? What does that mean? What have you done?”

  The witch cocked her head and sneered, one lip curling upward. She pointed at the figure walking toward them, a figure hidden by a whirling dervish of twigs and bark and leaves. The witch laughed, and stuck her nose into the air and sniffed, like a dog on the hunt. She rubbed her hands together in pure delight, nearly hopping from foot to foot, and then disappeared in a flourish of wind.

  In her place, Danielle appeared.

  Although what had once been Danielle was missing now.

  Standing before Jake was a pale, bloated lump of flesh, a wretched, leering thing that had once been his beloved. She reached toward him with nubby, pruned fingers, her lungs bubbling with water when she breathed.

  “Oh my God,” Jake cried, scrambling away on his butt, trying to move away from the creature advancing toward him. “No!”

  Her dead hand touched his face, bits of flesh sticking to his cheek, and he pushed her away. Still she kept coming, wanting to be reunited with her lover.

  “No!” he wailed, squeezing his eyes shut tight. Her touch never came.

  When he again opened his eyes, they had resumed their familiar forms.

  Only Danielle had now become a hackberry tree, devoid of greenery, riddled with
lace bugs and aphids. Her knotty, twisted branches stretched across the air, trying to touch him. He tried to cower away from her but was unable to move. His full branches of leaves trembled in fear at the thought of her touch.

  It was as if he could hear her talking to him, and her words were dowsed in water and dipped in poison.

  He dreaded the thought of returning to human form.

  Someone’s Sister

  It wasn’t supposed to happen this way.

  There was supposed to be some fighting, some bloodshed, yeah, right, probably. Expected that. Car boostin’, knocking over a liquor store or one a them shitty bodegas, the ones run by the dotheads or spics.

  No one said nothing about no kidnappin’.

  Jimmy said I should shut my fuckin’ mouth. He said I was gonna end up with my fuckin’ throat slit if I didn’t shut the fuck up.

  Jimmy really likes the word fuck.

  We grabbed her right after we boosted the car, see. It was Jimmy’s idea and all, he like, master-planned the damn thing, but he made Big Joey and Mookie get outa the car and grab her.

  You didn’t say no to Jimmy, not if you were smart, if you wanted to keep your guts where they belonged. And them guys didn’t wanna look pussy.

  She was a fighter, right from the beginning. Kicked an’ screamed an’ clawed at Joe an’ Mook, but they dragged her sorry ass into the back seat of the car. She was cryin’, too. Bawlin’ her stupid eyes out. Joe had his knee planted in her chest. To hold her down and all. Mook held her hands over her head so’s he could reach down easy and squeeze her tits. They let her scream. Wasn’t no one around anyway.

  Jimmy tossed back a roll of duct tape and told them to tape her hands and slap a piece over her fuckin’ mouth.

  They did what he say. You didn’t say no to Jimmy.

  We brought her back to the shed. It was just the place where we hung out and all, kinda like a headquarters or some lame shit like that. It was secluded anyway. That was the main reason we picked it. To get away when things got too hot. Just an old shack, nothin’ great, but it kept us warm, and more important, it keep us hid.

  Jimmy raped her first. Then Joe, then Mook.

  Then me.

  I din wanna look pussy. I ain’t sure I wanted to rape her. I got sisters, you know? I got a Ma. I felt kinda bad about doin’ it, an’ I only did it that one time. Well, that night, anyways.

  Her mouth was still taped and her eyes was squeezed closed real tight. Her hands were taped up too, and they were over her head, hangin’ from the radiator. She wasn’t wearing any shoes or pants and undies. She was still wearin’ her shirt and socks though. That’s cuz Jimmy said he wanted to fuck around with her tits, but that he was savin’ that for later. Right now, he just wanted to fuck her.

  So I had another turn. Don’t know how many times the other guys did it. I stopped watchin’.

  She was screamin’, too. As much as she could with her mouth taped up. The sound was kinda muffled, like yellin’ underwater. Not real loud. Kinda annoyin’. Like a mosquito in your ear. I guess I can’t really blame her. But Jimmy slapped her real hard a few times an’ she finally shut up, thank fucking christ.

  Later that first night, we was sittin’ ‘round, smokin’ an’ tokin’, and Joey says to Jimmy, “What we gonna do with her?”

  Do with her? Jimmy says. What that suppose to mean? he wanna know. He says he gonna keep her, like a mascot, or a pet. His own pet pussy. Then we fuck her anytime we felt like gettin’ our rocks off. For Jimmy, that seemed to happen a lot.

  Joe looked kinda surprised, but he didn’t say nothin’ else about it.

  I didn’t say nothin’ at all. I mean, I was new here. But I knew what I was gettin’ into when I hooked up with them. Sorta. The one thing I did know was when to keep my fucking mouth shut.

  Jimmy moved over to the bed. “Hey,” he said, shakin’ the girl. “You up?” She opened her bloodshot, puffy eyes. “I’m gonna take the tape offa your mouth. You scream, and I’ll beat the shit outa you, and it goes back on. Dig?”

  She nodded. Joey and Mookie exchanged glances. Looked to me like they was as nervous as me, and they weren’t gonna say nothin’.

  Jimmy was crazier than a shit-house rat. I always thought that was a funny saying. I didn’t know it could really be true.

  He peeled the tape from her mouth and she yelled, not like yellin’ for help, or nothin’ like that, which I kinda expected from a girl. She yelled cause that tape gettin’ ripped off her lips musta hurt like a sonofabitch. She ran her tongue over her lips, up and down, and in circles, and Jimmy starts grinnin’ real wide. I think it was making him horny, cause a second later he’s on top of her again.

  “Shut your fuckin’ hole. Don’t scream,” he says. Then he fucked her.

  This went on for about three days. We fed her, brought her to the toilet. Jimmy kept her naked, said he liked her that way. She did have a great body, really perfect tits, you know? Even after Jimmy messed with ’em. Burned ’em, pulled on ’em, tied them up till they was blue.

  I can’t say I minded him keepin’ her naked. Like a pet, he said. Cats don’t wear no clothes, and neither did his pussy. Jimmy thought his little joke was very funny.

  She never said a word, not even when she was gettin’ fucked. She just kinda laid there, not cryin’ no more. Her eyes were always fixed on the wall across from her, starin’ at the clock. But I don’t think she cared about the time. She looked like she was spacin’. It wasn’t drugs, neither. I tried to pass her a joint once, but she just shook her head. Hell, I was relieved she did that, you know, shook her head at my question. Answered me. Like she would talk to me. Maybe had forgiven me. I figured she woulda been pissed at me.

  *

  Jimmy came in one day with a bag of food. It had been my turn to sit with her. One of us always had to be there. Always. Usually it was Jimmy. He stayed with her the most.

  “She give you any trouble, Kevin?”

  The question had been a joke. How could she have given me any trouble, lyin’ on the bed, hands tied up? I shook my head anyway. Better to answer him. She was never any trouble, and that was kinda spooky. She just kinda laid there, lookin’ sometimes like she was in a coma or somethin’.

  Then Joey and Mookie showed up and we sat around playin’ poker.

  Joey said somethin’ like, “We can’t keep her here forever, man.” He looked over at the bed, then lowered his voice. “I mean, my wife is starting to get pissed. I ain’t home much, you know? She’s getting suspicious that I’m up to somethin’. How much longer you—”

  Jimmy leapt up from the table, grabbin’ it, knocking it over, poker chips and half ate sandwiches flying through the air, cards scattered on the floor.

  He snatched Joey by his collar with both fists and slammed him into the wall. Hard. Joe grunted, the wind knocked outa him.

  “When I fucking say so,” Jimmy said, his face so close to Joey’s I thought they was gonna fucking kiss. “That’s when. You keep your fuckin’ mouth shut. You do what I say. Got that?”

  Joey’s head bobbed up and down till I thought it was gonna fall off. “Yeah, Jimmy. Yes!”

  He let go of Joey’s collar. He turned around an’ looked at the girl. As usual she was just lyin’ on the bed, watchin’ everything, probably prayin’ someone would go up against him. She probably figured she’d have a much better chance with me or Joe or Mook. Maybe she figured one of us would let her go. I think she knew Jimmy had no intention of lettin’ her go. Never.

  Christ, we didn’t even know her name.

  Jimmy raped her again. Was there anything that didn’t make the fucker horny?

  *

  Couple days later an’ I’m sitting with her again. My turn. She picks now to say her first words. Maybe she saw asshole written all over my dumb face.

  I got no family. I got sisters and a mom, but I ain’t seen them for a long time. Years. It’s not like we were close. We weren’t the fuckin’ Brady Bunch. I got no real education, not past ninth
grade, barely got a job, if pumpin’ gas for minimum wage twenty-eight hours a week counts as much of anything. I know it’s pathetic, this life of mine, and Jimmy is my family. My life. Not in no fag way, man. It’s like he’s my brother or somethin’.

  She said to me, “Please let me go. I won’t turn you in, I swear. I know it’s not you. It’s not your fault. It’s him. It’s not you I want to—”

  She didn’t finish what she was sayin’. I knew what she was gettin’ at, knew what she was thinkin’. I knew what she’d meant. It really pissed me off, too. Did she think I was gonna help her? Turn against him? What the fuck?

  “I don’t want to hurt him …” she said. “But if I have to …”

  “Shut the fuck up.” She didn’t wanna hurt him? I knew the first thing she would do is run to the cops. First thing. Not hurt him. Yeah, right! I didn’t wanna hear any more. She was really pissing me off now. She was a real asshole.

  She said, “Jimmy’s your friend. But this is wrong and you know it.”

  “Shut up!” I was gonna tape her mouth, and I’m sure she knew it, so she finally shut up.

  There was somethin’ in her eyes. Somethin’ that scared me. I couldn’t really tell you what it was, but it was weird. I remember that the room seemed to have gotten much colder, and the hairs were standin’ up on my arms. I know that sounds stupid, seein’ she was all tied up and shit. But it’s what happened.

  *

  Weeks went by. I think we was all wondering what Jimmy was planning. He had to be thinkin’ about doin’ somethin’, right? Had to have some plan in mind. This was just nuts. It had all started out bad, real bad, but what had this become? Insanity, that’s what.

  The girl was so goddamned well-behaved, too. That was the real bitch of it. I don’t think she ever tried to escape, not once. Didn’t seem normal, not to me anyway. If I was tied up like that, I would be actin’ like a wild animal every chance I got, tryin’ to get away. She did at first, but that was before we brought her here. She stopped fighting right after that. Maybe we broke her spirit, like a whipped dog, right from the start. I guess that’s possible. Sad, too.