I was too scared of what would happen if I let that awful scent inside me.
While Toby’s movements had always been clouded with his latest high, Alex’s movements were carried out with a deadly sobriety, a lethal force. I didn’t even have time to scream before he was on top of me, leaving me pinned beneath his body weight. My bruised elbows turned painfully raw as Alex slammed them into the ground once more, and as he kicked my injured foot to get me to turn over, my yelp filled the room.
The tightness in my chest wouldn’t let me stop, wouldn’t let me cry anymore tears. Toby had taken everything I had left, and my body was too tired to pour out anymore sorrow. All I felt anymore was the fear he’d left in my bones— the disgusting knowledge that this was the one and only chance I’d ever have. Beneath his grip, I tried to flail, to smack at his face whenever a hand slipped out of his grip. It wasn’t until he had both of my hands pinned down that I finally jerked my knee up, knocking him in the balls and earning a second of space. Alex’s snarl filled my head, a grunt of pain just bringing a new wave of aggression to him. Quickly, painfully, expertly, he slammed my hands back above my head, his legs working to pin both of my thighs apart and to the ground.
Then, everything seemed to shake.
I hadn’t found the strength to fight against Toby before— his chloroform was too quick. But Alex hadn’t been smart enough to drug me, and when the hope escaped from my lungs, it came with a sickening sound. The scent of death lingered in the air, on my tongue, and as this fear filled me, my bold flailed beneath him. Finally, I screamed, I begged, I pleaded— even as his hands slid over to cover my mouth. I prayed for mercy, for a stroke of kindness, for some kind of repayment for any good that I might have done in the world, and when a blessing didn’t come, it was all I could do to peek my eyes open. Once I finally saw him, all will to fight left my body. Alex’s dark eyes studied me, anger hiding a pain I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to understand, and pain hiding an excitement I didn’t want to ever acknowledge.
“Don’t fucking move, Rabbit.”
The man licked his lips just once, regaining a sense of composure before he shifted both of my wrists into his one hand. Alex straightened his back and his left hand began to drift slowly down my arm. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him, couldn’t find the strength to breathe as his spicy scent mixed with the toxicity of my fear. A second thought jerked his body to the side, and with a force that left me shaking, he slammed the basement door shut. I couldn’t really feel much of anything anymore— until his hand started to drift to my body. He brushed over each of my arms, running his palms over every inch of my torso and pretending not to notice when my eyes slammed shut as he teased over my breasts. Another hit of shame poisoned my mouth, and I screwed my lips shut as I tried to suffocate the excitement, the nausea. It’d been so long since I’d tasted anything other than violence that I was just excited for human contact, I reasoned. Though, that didn’t explain the sickening mix of emotions that ran through me when Alex’s hand drifted lower. Across my lower abdomen, brushing my pelvis as he made his way to my thigh. By the time his hand travelled so gently, so slowly, so painfully along my inner thigh, I didn’t have a chance of holding myself back.[EC2]
“Don’t.” The strangled plea finally drew his attention up to me, and as badly as I wanted to be embarrassed, all I could really feel now was defeat. “Please don’t.”
Confusion twisted into disgust, and Alex’s eye fell back to my body.
“What the fuck makes you think I’d want to?”
This time, Alex wasted no effort. His free hand jumped back to my thighs, and within a second, his fingers were in my jean pockets. It only took a flick of his wrist to tug out the keys and the bolt from the bed, stealing away my last shreds of hope. Alex’s eyes danced over to the door for a moment before looking back to me. Once both of his hands were back on me, he lowered down again, shifting to tower over me. The frustrated hiss of his breath seemed to draw the very air from my lungs.
“I’m gettin’ real tired of this shit,” he ground, voice like gravel. “The only reason you’re alive is because it would bother Toby for you to be gone; understand?”
“Yes.”
“It would make my life a hundred times easier to put a bullet through you right now and tell him you got away.”
I was certain that with his hands on my wrists, he could feel the way my stomach twisted, my heart tightened. If I’d been a little less tired, I might have been able to sob. If I’d been a little less tired, I might have been able to cry over the last pieces of freedom I’d lost. Instead, all I could feel was the curtain dropping on my final act. My shoulders softened, and a morsel of honesty peeked to the surface.
“Then why don’t you just do it?” The choked question seemed to furrow his brow, but Alex wouldn’t harden. “Get this over with.”
Again, those dark eyes watched me. His vision scanned my face, took a careful inventory of my body, and then shifted on top of me. “My back hurts from sleeping on that fuckin’ couch,” he stated, chin lifting slightly. “I’m not lugging your carcass down a flight of stairs by myself.”
I smothered my surprise as his hands released me, but Alex wouldn’t move from his position on top of me. The man straightened, cracked his back as though he hadn’t a care in the world, and then let his vision settle back to me. I wanted to be able to challenge him, to remind both Alex and his brother that I couldn’t be pushed around, but lack of food was making it impossible to lie. I couldn’t help but wince as I lifted my body onto my elbows, keeping as careful an eye on Alex as he had on me. Whatever it was that he saw must have been enough because a second later, the man was jumping to his feet, tugging me up alongside him. Without another word, Alex slung my arm over his shoulders, pulled me into his side, and together, we made our way back up to Toby’s bedroom, to the room I’d die in.
The stink didn’t leave me when we started up the stairs. Now, the smell of rotting meat seemed to fill every room, seemed to capture every thought. My stomach churned as he led me up stairs, and we would have to pause four times for me to suck back a sob before Alex finally led me to Toby’s en suite bathroom. Alex set me back on the sink, and the thirst for familiarity pushed me back into the same position I was before.
If I let myself get lost here, I’d never come back.
When my heart wouldn’t relax, I twisted Gran’s ring along my finger. My eyes squeezed shut, my head leaned back, and I grabbed at anything I could, any numbness that would make those visions of twisted faces lessen. If I let myself get lost, get comfortable, get stupid, he’d kill me. Toby would kill me just like he killed that girl in the basement. That much, I knew.
A twist of pain peeked my eyes open. Truthfully, in the dim light of the bathroom was the only place I’d ever allowed myself to look at my injured foot. All the bloody thing did was bring memories of the night I allowed this to happen, another painful reminder of my own weaknesses. Everything about it just made me ache, and when Alex began to silently remove my bandages, I had to force my attention elsewhere. I focused on my breath, on keeping myself from hyperventilating in the tiny room, but when Alex twisted my foot again, all intention vanished. My face squished, and the scream in my chest whittled away into a pained grunt— a sound which finally earned a snarl of attention.
“Then say something.” His voice raised, dropping my foot painfully on the sink as his arms folded over his chest. “I take time out of my fuckin’ day to make sure you don’t have—”
“It hurts!”
The bite in my voice set me more on edge, but to Alex, it seemed to lower his shoulders. The man softened again, but a new wave of pain wouldn’t let me decode the curiosity in his gaze. Without proper food, proper care, my foot had grown into a swollen mess, and a new wave of blood to it wasn’t helping the pain. The tears didn’t come until I was certain his eyes were off of me, silent sobs collapsing my lungs as Alex worked quietly to wash the old blood off my foot. By the time it had dried, h
e worked to carefully apply an anti-bacterial ointment. Either my nerves were deadened or the man had the incredible ability to touch me without hate, without anger, without the need to draw blood, and with time, I’d wiped the last of my tears off my cheek.
When he pulled away to look for bandages beneath the sink, I took what little time I had to try to clean myself up. Being stuck here, being forced into the presence of these animals was bad enough. To have to look like a mess, feel like a mess, to be seen like a mess just made everything worse. Fear brought up twisted thoughts, and as I envisioned the dirt that must have covered the face of his first victim, I told myself that wouldn’t be me. I wouldn’t remind him of how easy it would be, how similar we must have been. Quickly, I ran some ice water through the tap and worked to clean my face off, slipping an elastic off my wrists to pull my knotted hair into another ponytail— actions which only seemed to annoy the man further.
I could kill him, I thought.
With Alex crouched so low, distracted looking for bandages, it wouldn’t be hard.
But then, maybe Toby had thought the same thing before his first kill.
Maybe I wasn’t ready to turn into that thing, wasn’t ready to abandon my morals. Not yet.
“I’m sorry.” My murmur barely seemed to reach him as he lifted himself from the floor. As Alex began to cut the bandages again, the silence that once seemed almost reassuring turned suffocating. I’d been stuck in the quiet for too long, learning to fear the thing I needed the most. “My real name’s Lilah.”
The only guarantee that he had heard me was the slightest shift in his eye. Then, Alex went back to his careful work. Whenever I was in a room with Toby, I’d never felt more smothered in my life. The youngest brother was forever needy, cloying, desperate to watch my every move. Alex had the painful ability of the opposite. Somehow, I’d never really felt more alone than when we were in a room together.
“Do you know who I am?” I finally asked, earning another painful silence. “Please just be honest with me, Alex.”
His muscles tensed at the sound of his name, and my teeth sunk into my lip in regret. If he wanted to pretend that I didn’t know him, that I couldn’t identify him, then maybe I should have let him live in that fantasy a little longer. Instead, the man huffed at the request, keeping silent until he caught the need in my eye. Alex’s attention turned back to my foot, and after two attempts to wrap the bandage properly, he let out a snarl of defeat. His response came in a snarl, and then, slowly he tried to force himself back to work.
“Yes.”
Gratitude overpowered the dread in my bones, and as my shoulders slipped down my back, I rested against the wall. At the very least, I had to believe that if Toby was honest about this disgusting obsession, maybe that earned me a semblance of safety. If he’d told Alex, maybe he told someone else, too. Maybe somehow had called the police when I’d come up on TV— though, memories of Alex’ words put an end to that.
My eyes drifted shut as I tried to relax against the wall. “I don’t understand why he’s done this.”
Alex hissed in annoyance, in agreeance. “Makes two of us.” His eyes flicked up to me before resting back on my foot, and careful hands worked the bandage around my injury.
“Has he done this before?” The tensing of his muscles brought a wince of pain, another distraction from a real answer. If I was going to end up like the woman in the basement, I needed to know. No reality could be worse than the one I’d painted in my head. If I was next on the list, if I had an expiration date, if it really was another woman down there, I needed to know. “Is that what’s down in the base—”
“Don’t talk about that fucking room.”
The spit snapped my eyes open, and through blurred vision, I froze under his gaze. Alex’s dark eyes wouldn’t leave me, and with my foot in his hand, I’d never felt more vulnerable in my life. Still, this sickness was too much to hold in. This desperation would overwrite any pain he brought, any strangled life he tore from my chest.
I needed to know.
“Has he done this before?”
“What the fuck does it matter?” He finally hissed, his attention jumping from my foot just long enough to shoot me a glare. “Has he brought home little birds like you before? His entire god damn life. How the fuck is this any different?”
“It is different,” I bit. “It’s my life you took away.”
“I took away?” Alex’s hiss filled the room, my foot slamming against the counter as he pulled his attention back to me. Pain tore through my stomach, my head, my heart. “I didn’t take anything away. I tried to help you and you couldn’t shut the fuck up.” When my eyes narrowed, he seemed to soften. “A reoccurring trait,” he pointed, turning his attention downward once more.
As badly as I wanted to, I couldn’t bring myself to bark back at him. This time, his body didn’t tighten, his focus never breaking as he finished treating my foot. Three days ago, I’d annoyed him too much, earned a bandage that was far too tight for far too long. Now, Alex shifted into something that seemed a little more organic on him— a carefully curated god complex. I remained on the counter as Alex pushed my foot to the side, growing closer to me as he moved to wash his hands, but still, he wouldn’t look at me. A sound didn’t fall from him until he searched for a towel to dry his hands on, a grunt of annoyance crawling out his chest as he laid eyes on the mildewed rag on the floor.
“Toby’ll be back in an hour,” he stated, brushing his wet hands on his pants.
Sickness filled me as Alex looped my arm back around my shoulder, and the pain in my foot subsided only when he began to lead me back to the bed.
“Then what?” I choked. “What happens when he comes back?”
“How the fuck should I know?” His hiss drew my attention, an annoyed look pulling his eyebrows together. It wasn’t until he noticed the worry on my features that he let the act fall. “He wouldn’t have ever touched you if you had’ve just stayed put,” he stated, as though we didn’t both know it was a lie. “Just do what he says, Rabbit. You’re not gonna have any problems if you listen to him.”
“He won’t stop—” When the words wouldn’t come out, I couldn’t look at him. The man sat me on the bed again, snatching the cuffs off the floor before demanding to see my wrists again. “He’s not going to stop.”
Silence tightened his jaw, offering more of an answer than I could handle. I was desperate to thread my chest back together as our eyes finally met. When anger flashed over his features, I couldn’t help but cower. Something turned his stomach, drained what little color he had from his face, and Alex focused his attention back to my wrists. Clamping the cuffs over already sensitive skin, Alex chained me back to the bed and rushed to his feet.
“You were just fine with me on top of you,” he snarled, forcing his gaze to the hallway. “I’m sure you’ll manage.”
Chapter Six
After four days, it was getting impossible to tell the difference between the nightmare of being awake and the horror waiting for me in my sleep. That first night, Toby had insisted he’d sleep on the couch, that he’d stay in place. I caught him trying to force his way back into his room twice, which didn’t leave me much choice but to sleep in the hallway. He left for Hamilton three days ago, and despite a barrage of phone calls, my brother hadn’t even been able to return a fuckin’ text. I was alone with her, and the distance of a closed door wouldn’t give me enough space to know how to breathe.
All Lilah brought was agony, and all that did was remind me a gilded cage was still only a cage.
Pain could only breed more pain.
The first time the noise filled the house, I barely had the strength to lift my head. I’d been planted at the kitchen table for hours, nodding in and out of consciousness as day slipped into night. I wasn’t able to straighten my spine until I heard it again, and even then, I wasn’t sure I could trust it. The front door swung open with a grunt and the whimper of a dog pulled me from my chair. As I rubbed my eyes, I
tried to remember if the hiss of impatience, the cry bought with a kick to the ribs, was the same one my brother had brought with every animal he carried home.
What an ignorant fucking question.
What a pathetic grasp at hope.
Rubbing at my eyes, I straightened in my seat. “Must have been some hellish traffic.” Standing on tired joints only seemed to make my voice scratch more, and as Toby reoriented himself in the living room, I forced myself to the half-wall that divided the two spaces. I tried to keep my eyes trained ahead. I tried to keep my mouth shut. But when my eyes finally lowered to the ball of fur Toby had dragged in by a leash, I couldn’t stop the question from bubbling through clenched teeth.
“What the fuck is that?”
Excitement mixed with confusion as Toby looked to the mutt at his feet, some kind of mixed breed coated in mud and overgrown hair. “I got him for Bunny,” he explained with a laugh, as though I wouldn’t be the one forced to care for the damn thing. “She loves dogs.”
“You’re sure that thing’s a dog? Might be a tiny little person under all that hair.”
My brother couldn’t give a wave of acknowledgement, a grin of gratitude, a fucking nod as he dropped the leash at the door and made the arrogant attempt to push past me. Though, it wasn’t the annoyance in my stomach that wrapped my fingers around his bicep. I wasn’t stupid enough to blame Toby for being so ready to abandon me— especially if he thought Lilah’s body would be eager to warm him upstairs. To Toby, her tepid blood would always be better than my frozen corpse.
Even if she was screaming to get away.
“Get the fuck off me,” the man spat, attempting to tear out of my grip.
The Kidnapper's Brother: A Dark Criminal Romance Page 5