The MacBrides

by J. L. Petersen

  “Ha!” Sarah snorted. “You jackasses can hardly make it through any meal without butting heads.”

  “Hey, who are you calling a jackass, oh sister of mine who has an opinion on everything?” Clay tossed back at her.

  RJ started tensing up again and without realizing it squeezed Logan’s hand. She went into complete shock when Sandy jumped into the fray. Sandy always shrank away from these types of conflicts.

  “Now, Clay, you’re giving my sister a bad opinion of you.”

  At that, everyone cast their eyes towards RJ, but Clay seemed to have understanding in his expression. With a sly smile, he apologized. “Sorry, RJ. I know you’re not used to us yet. But hopefully, you’ll realize we love and support each other even though my siblings are a bunch of thickheaded, stubborn mules.”

  RJ’s eyes widened at his words and then almost popped out of her head as a half a dozen flying objects, namely napkins and hamburger buns, all hit Clay about the same time. There was a moment of silence at the table before she realized she gurgled. That surprised her, but when a full laugh erupted from her, everyone joined in. Clay sat there laughing with a piece of potato salad stuck to his head.

  “Idiots,” Bea exclaimed standing up. “Boys, you’re on KP duty. Ladies, follow me for some serious wedding planning.”

  Getting up to follow Bea, RJ shook her hand free from Logan. He stood and caught her by the arm. The man was grabby.

  “Are you okay?” he asked again.

  “Yeah, thanks,” she replied, then left him to join the others.

  RJ lay in bed later that night unable to sleep. The small cabin she was using on the property was comfortable. It had a small living space with an equally small kitchenette. The bedroom, which boasted a double sized bed, had an attached tiny bathroom, but large enough for her needs. Bea had thoughtfully stocked the refrigerator and cabinets with food and drinks.

  Staring at the ceiling, all the emotions stirred up today were making sleep elusive. She didn’t know what was harder to deal with, Logan’s kiss or the trained fear she had experienced during the heated argument at dinner. What scared her most was that she worried it was Logan’s kiss. She managed to avoid him by sneaking out without saying goodbye.

  Avoidance was synonymous with detachment in her world. She learned early on to not become attached to anything or anyone. It was always used as a way of hurting her. So, she learned to hide what she valued and not become attached to anyone. Other than her sister Sandy, she didn’t have a lot of friends. She tried the relationship thing with a couple of nice men but failed miserably.

  Added to today’s turmoil was that she’d spent a lot of time the past few days trying to reconcile her feelings of envy and self-pity. She could admit being envious that Sandy found such a wonderful family to become a part of. The harder realization to deal with was that meant, with the physical distance and Sandy’s focus on Clay and her new family, RJ would be alone. After years of being all one another had, it was hard to not feel sorry for herself.

  Turning over, she swiped the tears from her eyes and tried to get some sleep. Hannah’s day started early and RJ wasn’t going to be late.

  8

  Frustrated and outmaneuvered again by the same woman, Logan slept badly. RJ had snuck out of the house before he realized it. He was tempted to stop by the cabin on his way home but had decided she wanted privacy. This morning he was up with the sun as normal, but lingered over his coffee. Standing on his front deck, looking out over a beautiful little valley, his thoughts were still on last night. That kiss. Nothing had ever felt so good or so right. Who knew such a prickly woman could turn his insides to hot lava with just a touch of the lips. He was bound and determined to figure out what was or could be between them.

  But he was also curious and concerned with the way RJ reacted during dinner. Her reactions to the argument he had with his brothers might not have troubled him as anyone might be uncomfortable when he and his brothers dug in. It was the way Sandy watched her sister and tried to reassure her everything was okay. There was something underneath that unease.

  Draining the rest of his coffee, he decided he needed to find an opportunity to get RJ to himself. He knew she planned to spend the day with Hannah so it should be easy to find her once he took care of his morning chores.

  * * *

  Despite her lack of sleep, RJ found the cool morning invigorating. She’d met up with Hannah as planned and found herself taking some beautiful shots of the plants in the morning sun, but also helping with tasks such as checking for weeds and pruning first year plants.

  “A lavender plant takes three years to be considered mature and start producing solid crops. So, in the first and second year it’s especially important to keep the plants properly pruned,” Hannah explained as they worked together through the rows of small plants.

  RJ looked across the vast area where different sized plants were growing. You could see the sections clearly as to the age of the plants. Next to the first-year plants they were currently working on were the two-year plants. Beyond that were the full-grown plants with their blooming stalks growing tall.

  “Do you prune all these plants by yourself?”

  Hannah laughed. “Oh gosh no. Not only would I lose a lot of crop by not getting to it in peak time, I don’t think my back could handle it.”

  RJ lifted her camera catching the soft smile that fell into place after Hannah laughed. She really was a beautiful woman. She was a couple of years older that RJ’s twenty-six and seemed to be very content with herself. RJ hoped to find that type of inner peace one day. Right now, she was a mess on the inside.

  It was coming up on noon when they finished the pruning and weeding. Hannah had thought ahead and brought a cold lunch for them to share. They sat at a little table just outside of the workshop in the shade.

  “Why lavender?” RJ asked as she took a bite of the sandwich Hannah gave her.

  “The ranch was Logan’s and Brand’s. They love everything about it. Sarah and Jake are still finding their way. But Clay’s a gardener like me. We had several conversations on diversification. He landed solidly on being a vintner. I wanted something of my own. After I did a little research I realized lavender was a great fit for me. It allowed me to satisfy my inner gardener as well as the need to be creative through the products I produce.”

  “You never thought of leaving and creating a life for yourself elsewhere?”

  Smiling that soft smile again, Hannah shook her head. “No. I love my family and want to be here with them. I want to be here for my mom. Someday, we’ll have little ones running around and I want them to know their Aunt Hannah.”

  RJ couldn’t relate to wanting to be around family. Other than Sandy, she wanted to be as far away from them all as possible. But she could see how, with the MacBrides, that desire could run deep. That triggered her feelings of aloneness again. Sandy would be part of this. And knowing this family, she would be welcomed when she came to visit, but it wasn’t exactly the same as belonging.

  “What about you? Why photography?” Hannah asked.

  “Oh. Well. I like the freedom of my own business and having to relying on just myself.”

  “You’re a loner, aren’t you? Is that by choice?”

  RJ lifted her brows at that question. How do you answer something like that? How did she want to answer it? Studying Hannah, she felt compelled to share, if only a little. “I’m not sure what Sandy has shared with you about our family, but I’ll just say they are nothing like yours. I found peace separating myself from them both in physical distance as well as emotional distance. I suppose that, by nature, made me a loner.”

  “I sometimes forget not everyone is blessed with a family like mine. But it’s also why I want to stay close to them.”

  RJ was glad Hannah didn’t spout off platitudes. Her simple statement was a perfect response. The distant sound of a vehicle coming up the lane drew her attention. Her blood started racing through her system when she recognized Logan
’s truck. She wasn’t ready to deal with him yet.

  “Uhh, Hannah, do you mind if I take off for a little while? I’ll text you later to see where you’re at.”

  Hannah gave her a sly smile. “Trying to avoid Logan?”

  Deciding to give her the truth, RJ nodded. “Yes.”

  Shooing her away with her hands and a laugh. “Go on then. I’ll text you when the coast is clear.”

  RJ threw out an acknowledging wave before hopping in her UV and taking off in the opposite direction, across the dirt trail she didn’t think he couldn’t take his truck on. She didn’t care if Hannah thought it was funny, she just knew she didn’t want to see Logan right now.

  Logan stopped his truck close to where Hannah was sitting, laughing. He stared out of the windshield as RJ disappeared into the trees. Scowling, he got out of the truck and stalked over to his sister.

  “Where did she go in an all fire hurry?”

  Hannah studied her brother wondering if he knew he was getting in deep with RJ. That thought brought back feelings she’d been trying to suppress since she got home from Paris. Shaking them off, she stood and laid a hand on his shoulder.

  “I think she went wherever you weren’t.”

  “Well for god’s sake, why?” he grumbled as he took his hat off and slapped it against his thigh while running his hand through his hair.

  “That would be a very good question to ask her, I’d say.” Reaching up to give him a hug, she asked, “Want a sandwich?”

  By the end of the day, Logan had gone from frustrated to downright surly. He stopped by the main house around dinner time to see if RJ was there. He was told she was at Clay’s having dinner with them. After grabbing a quick bite with his mom, he headed over to his brother’s only to be told she wasn’t there.

  “Where the hell did she go this time?” he snapped at Clay refusing his invitation to come into the house.

  Eyebrows raised, Clay just shrugged. “How am I supposed to know?”

  Logan was getting more irritated by the minute. “Can you at least tell me when she left and what direction she went?”

  Sandy popped her head around Clay’s shoulder, a curious frown on her face. “What’s so important that you need to see her?”

  “It’s personal.” Logan paused and considered. “But maybe you can help. I’m curious as to what upset her yesterday at dinner. She tensed up and I saw you trying to calm her.”

  Sandy seemed to study him for a moment before patting his brother’s shoulder. “Come in and I’ll see if I can explain.”

  Logan followed them into the house. Sandy invited him to sit. He was too wound up to sit but he could tell he was making her nervous standing, so he plopped down in one of the recliners.

  “I’ve shared a lot with Clay about my childhood to help him understand why I refused him the first time he asked me to marry him.” Sandy laughed at the expression on Logan’s face. “Didn’t know that one, did you?”

  Logan smirked at his brother. He didn’t realize he was turned down or that there were multiple proposals. Something like that meant he could razz his brother for years to come. Somehow that made him feel better. Sandy continued before he could make a smart-ass comment.

  “I’m sure you’re unaware of this, but our dad is in jail. Assault. He wasn’t around much anyways. Our mom barely makes ends meet and can’t seem to be without a man. She was always bringing men to the house and some of them were creepy. RJ would make sure I was never alone in our house. I had to wait for her after school or at our secret place until she could take me home.”

  Logan felt his stomach lurch. “Did any of them hurt either of you?”

  Sandy shook her head. “No, but there were a couple that made both of us nervous.”

  “Didn’t you tell you mom?”

  “Sure, but mom wouldn’t believe us. And there was one time she accused RJ of being jealous. They got into a big fight but RJ never once said anything to mom again about her boyfriends. It’s hard to have a normal childhood if you’re always on guard.”

  Logan was disgusted. What type of parent puts their child or children in unsafe environments like that? “Is that why she didn’t like our arguing last night?”

  Clay put his arm around Sandy, and Logan envied the way she leaned into him. “Not totally. Our family would have a so called family dinner every once in a while. They weren’t much fun. If someone started an argument, you can bet it led to a fight. Fists and all. I don’t think I remember any family dinner that didn’t end up in a brawl. There was one time RJ got caught between our uncle sitting on one side of her and his son who was on the other. They got so riled up the fists went flying and our uncle landed a solid punch on RJ’s jaw.”

  Logan jumped up, fist clenched at his hands. “Her uncle punched her? How old was she?”

  “I think she was about twelve. Technically, it was an accident as my mom said. We both made sure to sit together and at the far end of the table from then on. Yesterday just raised her anxiety.”

  Sitting back down, Logan ran his hand through his hair. “I’m sorry you both had to live like that.”

  “Yeah, well it sucked, but we had each other. We spent a lot of time staring at the ceiling in our bedroom making plans to get out of there,” she added, reminding him of finding them on the floor at the shop.

  “Okay, I can understand her tension last night. But I’ve been trying to talk to her all day and she seems to be one step ahead of me and takes off when I get close.”

  Sandy had that look again as if she was putting him under a microscope. “Did anything happen between you two?”

  Logan couldn’t recall the last time he blushed. But he felt the heat rising in his cheeks now. Before he could say anything, his brother busted out laughing.

  “What?” Logan demanded.

  Clay choked out, “You kissed her, didn’t you? The last time you blushed like that was in high school after mom found you’d been making out with Bonnie under the bleachers.”

  Logan gave his brother a big you suck look.

  “You and RJ kissed? Yesterday?” Sandy asked in awe.

  “Geesh, you’d think I committed some great sin or something. It was just a kiss.”

  Sandy was still staring at him with that stunned expression. “Not a sin, a major fete. RJ doesn’t let men close enough to just kiss.”

  Logan brightened a bit at that. “Really?” he drawled.

  “Really. That explains a lot. She seemed nervous and edgy. Every time she heard a vehicle she’d look out the window.” Sandy sat back against the couch pillows. “Wow. You sure must pack a wallop of a kiss to scare her into hiding from you.”

  Clay chucked Sandy under the chin with his fist. “Well, we MacBrides are well known for our kisses.”

  Laughing, Sandy wagged her finger at him. “Yeah, but one of you is now off the market. I plan to hoard your kisses.”

  Again, Logan experienced a pang of envy. Talking with Sandy helped him understand some of Rizz’s reactions to things. But it also made him want to know more. He always defended his family but the fierceness of his reaction to hearing someone had hit Rizz was beyond anything. He wanted to track down her uncle and pound him into the ground.

  “So, what should I do?” he asked pulling Sandy’s attention back.

  “I’d say keep rattling her cage. She needs someone to shake her out of the small, self-contained world she’s created for herself. Having met Clay, I realized all we both were doing was functioning through life. There are so many wonderful emotions and happiness if one is willing to risk it. Clay convinced me to risk it with him.”

  His brother leaned over to kiss her. Standing, Logan started for the door. “Thanks, Sandy.”

  “Hey,” she said halting his exit. “While I want you to shake her up a bit, stand warned. Don’t hurt her. I can be just as protective of her as she is of me.”

  Nodding, he closed the door behind him and stood on the porch thinking. He now understood that he needed to make su
re of what he wanted from Rizz before he pushed her too hard. He was sure there was more to her story and Sandy gave him just a small glimpse into it. Striding down the porch steps he hopped into his truck. He’d give them both tonight and then see what the morning brought.

  9

  RJ spent another restless night in the little cabin. She kept listening for Logan’s truck. She was successful in avoiding him yesterday, but this morning she started to feel foolish. During the night, she realized she was giving him too much influence over her by hiding. She could handle a simple, unwanted kiss. Yeah sure, she derided herself. That kiss may have been unwanted, but it still scared her.

  Other than avoiding Logan, yesterday was great. The time she spent with Hannah was informative, productive and just plain nice. She enjoyed Hannah’s nurturing mother earth personality. After that she spent time with her sister and Bea designing the wedding invitations and sending them off to the online print store. They were going to be express shipped and should be delivered in two days. Unfortunately, she needed to head back to Denver for a weekend of work, so Hannah and Sarah were going to help address them.

  The only awkward moment was when they went through the guest list. There was no one from their family, or close friends for that matter, that they wanted to add. What did that say about their lives? Bea was gentle when she asked about communicating with their mom again. RJ kept her mouth shut, but Sandy said she’d think about it.

  Today, she was going to spend time with Clay and Sarah at the winery. And was determined she wasn’t going to let Logan run her into hiding. Washing out her coffee cup, she grabbed a yogurt out of the fridge and went to get dressed for the day. She had a lot to do before she had to leave tomorrow and she was running late to meet Clay at his house.

  * * *

  “This is my domain,” Clay said as he drove RJ around the vineyard. He started the tour at the expanded vineyard that wasn’t open to the public that Logan had told her about. Here were younger vines but already full of broad green leaves. The trunks of the plants were still thin as compared to the more mature vines she saw at the older vineyard.