Save Me From the Dark

by Edward, Réna

  “Mr. Jergens, we have the car…”

  Bella screams and buries her face in my chest. Unconcerned with myself, I cover Bella the best I can. Turning my head and finding Heath standing there, he’s frozen staring toward us.

  “You can get the fuck out of here right now,” I growl darkly.

  “Yes, Sir. Sorry, Sir,” Heath mutters as he hurries and leaves.

  Turning my head back to Bella, I kiss her lightly on the top of the head. “Baby?” I ask cautiously.

  Honestly, I’m pissed at myself for losing control like this. This isn’t like me and I pray with all I am that this doesn’t cause her to push me away.

  To my surprise, she starts moving her hips to ride my finger that is still inside of her as she begins to stroke my quickly hardening dick again.

  “Oh, Bella,” I breathe as she leans back looking up at me.

  “Please don’t stop,” she whispers.

  I don’t stop. We continue until we both fall over the edge together. It may not have been making love to her, but it was close. It is a taste of what’s to come. As well as a sign of her trust in me.

  After we shower – separately, because she was afraid we’d lose ourselves again – we dress and start the day. Today is all planned out. She is going to experience the most this city has to offer.

  “Where are we going now?” She asks after we leave Alberto’s.

  Alberto Rizzoli is a great friend of mine. He owns and runs this little Italian restaurant. It has some of the best meals under the sun and Bella loved it.

  “Well, I can take you to a million other places, but what would you like to do?”

  She looks out the window and sighs. “We’ve had such a busy morning, going to all these places. Can’t we just do something a bit relaxing where we can talk or just enjoy each other?”

  “Of course we can. How about a nice afternoon walk on the beach?”

  “Oh, yes, please!” Her face lights up as she says this.

  Telling Gary the change in plans, we are soon heading off toward the beach. Even though, it is so late in the year, the beaches are still crowded. The whole ride there I try to think of a way to do this and her not be seen at the same time. It isn’t that I didn’t want people to know I am with her, but more that I didn’t want a certain someone to see her with me.

  Arriving at the beach, Gary is already a million steps ahead of me. When Heath opens our door, Gary has some clever distraction to minimize Bella’s exposure to the media. So, off we go for our walk.

  Bella’s arm is looped into mine as she rests her head on my shoulder. Tipping my head, I rest my head on hers as we walk, saying nothing at all. I’m not sure how long we walked, but soon she is telling me her legs are hurting.

  “Jump on my back,” I say turning around.

  “Seriously?” she looks skeptical.

  “Seriously and put this hat on.”

  She did as I asked and soon I am trotting down the beach. The whole time she’s giggling as she holds on for dear life. Just as I thought, the trolls have heard about our visit to the beach. Tightening my hold on her, I instruct her to keep her face in my neck as much as possible.

  “Ace!”

  “Ace!”

  They start calling to get my attention. Gary moves in closer to me with Heath and Ethan trailing behind closely.

  “Who’s the girl?”

  “Is it serious?”

  “No comment. Please let us pass,” I say as calmly as I can.

  When it’s just me, it’s not a big problem for me. But with her with me, calm went out the window with the first camera flash.

  “Why won’t you tell us who she is?”

  “Because it’s none of your business,” I say rudely.

  “Are you dating?”

  They just kept firing question after question. Just as I am about to snap, Bella soft, sweet, voice filters in through my rage as I try to force us through the thick circle of nosey asses.

  “Tell them what they need to know. If it’ll make things easier for you.”

  Turning my head, I look at her. Her head is pulled back a little not enough for the paps to get her picture, but enough that I can see her.

  “What? No!”

  “They are going to continue to hound you until they know.”

  “So, let them keep asking. I’m not risking you because they can’t leave me in peace.”

  “Then at least just tell them, something, anything. This closeness to all these people is beginning to freak me out. If we don’t get out of here soon, I might lose it.”

  Nodding my head, I look her in the eyes. “No name, no picture. So hide your face again. Please.”

  She nods and does as I ask. Turning back to look in front of me, the end seems to be nowhere in sight. It is like an endless supply of paparazzi today.

  “Are you dating or…” A pap starts.

  “This is my girlfriend,” I snap. “Yes, it’s serious and no I will not tell you who she is.”

  “Why not? Is she married?”

  Stopping my quest of getting out of this circle, I look that one in the eyes. “Do you really think I’m going to give you her name when this is how you all act toward me? I’m not knowingly going to put my girlfriend in danger. That would speak very little of me. Now get out of my way.”

  “What happened between you and Alexis Harver? Word was things were hot and heavy between you two and marriage was in the talks.”

  Stopping my exit for the second time, I turn in the direction of the question. “You heard all wrong buddy. I suggest that you do what your job actually entails and research your intel before just blurting it out there. It makes you look stupid.”

  Again, I proceed to shove our way through the crowd. Gary is trying to clear the way while the guys are keeping them off my girl. It’s a hectic situation and I breathe a sigh of relief when we finally make it to the car. Climbing in, I still have Bella on my back. The whole time, I can feel her heart pounding against my back.

  Once I have her in my arms, Gary and the guys climb in the front. The whole ride back is in quiet. Bella’s not said anything to me other than she just wants to go back to the hotel instead of anywhere else. All I can do is pray that this didn’t make her too scared to be with me.

  The walk down the hall from the elevator is torture. She’s not saying anything and she’s not looking at me. Gary gives me a sympathetic look before entering into his apartment. We continue down the hall to my door. She waits with her head down for me to open the door.

  “Baby?” I ask before attempting to open the door. “Are you okay? You’ve not said anything since that whole scene on the beach.”

  “I’m fine. I’m just tired from everything that we did today,” she mumbles.

  Nodding my head, not convinced, but letting it go for now. Stepping around her, I unlock the door. Once I open the door, I step back and let her enter the room. She walks in and heads right upstairs.

  Standing in the entryway unsure of what to do, I clench my fists. Checking my watch, it’s already supper time. I decide to give her some space and make supper. Hopefully, when she comes back out, she’ll talk to me.

  After cooking supper, I head upstairs to the bedroom. Knocking softly on the bathroom door, I call through.

  “Bella? Are you okay?”

  “I’m… I don’t know,” her soft crackling voice answers.

  “Can I come in?”

  “Yeah,” she sniffles.

  Opening the door, I find her curled up in the corner of the bathroom under the vanity. Moving cautiously toward her, I lower myself down to the floor slowly.

  “What’s going on?”

  She keeps her head on her knees as she answers. “I’m not the girl for you. I’m not cut out for that craziness. I’m not strong enough.”

  The things she thinks of herself just shock me. “Do you have any idea how strong you are?” I ask, scooting closer to her to take her hand.

  “It’s not about that Ace, don’t y
ou get it?” She looks up at me with tears in her eyes.

  “Then what’s it about?”

  “It’s about the fact that I’m not what you deserve. I may never be. It’s about the panic attacks, the no privacy, everything. Ace, this is not the world I’m cut out to be in. I’ve never wanted that,” she says softly looking down at our joined hands.

  “I know you haven’t. But it isn’t always like that. I promise you it’s not. For the most part, I have peace and quiet.”

  “Well, the past two days speak differently,” she almost hisses as she stands.

  Standing up with her, I reach out for her again. “I’ve made supper. Why don’t we eat and enjoy the rest of the night together. Please.”

  She sighs heavily. “Fine, but please know that I don’t hate you. I just hate the attention that follows you,” she whispers.

  “I know,” I reply sadly. “Are you leaving? Are you giving up on us?”

  She drops her head. “I don’t know. I think I have to go.”

  My heart clenches in my chest. “Please Bella…”

  “Let’s eat supper,” she says softly as she moves around me, leaving me there completely stunned.

  My hunger forgotten, I make my way down to the dining room just to spend whatever time I have left with her. She’s sitting at the table in front of the plate I’d made for her. I move and sit in front of mine.

  Both of us seem to just pick at our food. She says nothing, but every so often, I can hear her shuddered breath. This is what I don’t understand. If it is killing her so much then why is she doing it? Lord knows that I don’t want her to leave.

  “I’m tired. I’m going to bed. It’s been a very trying day. Goodnight, Ace.”

  As she speaks, she never looks at me even once. It breaks my heart that she’s walking away so easily. What can I do to make her stay? I’ve told her how much I love her. I’ve showed her how much she means to me. The rest is up to her. Even if… It doesn’t matter anymore. Nothing does.

  “You can have the master bedroom. I’ll take the spare bedroom down the hall. You can contact me whenever you need me or want to talk. I will always be here for you. Goodbye Bella. Please take care of yourself. Remember I love you and always will,” I tell her softly.

  There’s an audible sob as she runs from the room crying. My heart knows exactly how she’s feeling. This is a decision she’s made. If she changes her mind, I’ll be here. My guess is, she doesn’t want me involved in her dirty laundry.

  Grabbing my phone once I hear the door close, I call Jarrett. “Sorry to bug you, but I wanted to let you know that you don’t need to come with me to drop Bella off at school. After what happened today, she’s decided that she can’t handle the mayhem that is my life.”

  “Wow, the way she was talking to Dawn… Man, I’m sorry. You want me to come up?”

  “Nah, man. Maybe after I get back from dropping her off, if you’re up for distracting me.”

  “Of course. I’m here for you brother. Call me when you get back.”

  “Thanks man, I will. Talk at you later.”

  “Laters.”

  Once I hang up with him, I call Gary. The wait for him to answer is killing me. It is like waiting for a death sentence. Finally, Gary answers.

  “I was waiting for this call,” he answers.

  “I was hoping it was just my fears taking over. What am I supposed to do?”

  Gary sighs and I can picture him running his hand over his face. “There’s not much you can do. Sadly, the damage has been done by her father. He’s made her believe that she’s not worth anything to anyone, even to herself.”

  “I want the guys following her. If she coughs, I want to know about it. I know she loves me, but something’s stopping her. Something’s keeping her from accepting it.”

  “Son, I know you want to save her, but I think this is where she has to save herself first. Only then will you two be able to be together. Only then will she accept the love you have her and the love I know she has for you.”

  It’s my turn to sigh. “I know, but letting her go is killing me,” my voice cracks as the sadness overwhelms me.

  “I know, Son, I know. There’s one thing in life that we can’t do and that’s lead someone else’s life. Give her time, Son.”

  Hanging up the phone, I try to curb my heartache. Never in my life did I think that it would be this hard to let someone go. Walking upstairs, I walk down to the master bedroom. Cracking the door open, I watch her sleep.

  “I love you, Bella.”

  Bella

  Listening to him say he loves me about rips my heart out of my chest. After a while, I hear the click of the door again. Climbing from the bed, I go into the bathroom and shower. Sitting down at the vanity with the towel wrapped around my body, I write a letter to Ace. There is so much that I need to tell him. So much that he needs to know, but I’m not sure I can get it all out on the three pieces of paper that I have.

  With each swipe of the pen, brings tears to my eyes. On these pieces of paper, my heart lays splayed out for him to read. What I am doing is not something that I want to do, but I feel I have to do. He deserves a woman that can stand confidently by his side. For me to do that, I need to bury my demons. Me. I need to do this. Not Ace. Not Gary, but me.

  Do I love Ace? With all my heart, but I can’t be who he deserves right now. Right now, I need to face down the man that has spent the last ten years breaking me and fix myself. Signing my name to the end of the letter, I place it on the bed. Grabbing my bag, I walk quietly down the hall and peek in on Ace, who stirs on the bed as I open the door a little more.

  Taking one last look, I turn and leave. When I make it out into the hall, I creep toward the elevator. As my attention keeps shifting over my shoulder, I walk down what seems to be a never ending path to nowhere afraid that Ace would soon come barreling down at any moment. As I reach to press the button for the elevator, I realize that it will be like gunfire in the hall if I press it. So, I continue past the elevator and use the stairs instead.

  Once I make it to the bottom floor, I walk past the front desk. The clerk perks up. “Can I call the car for you, Ma’am?”

  “Oh, uh, yes please.”

  “Sure thing. Just have a seat and I’ll call you when it pulls around.”

  Smiling politely, “Thank you,” I whisper.

  Sitting in a chair in the waiting area, I rest my head on my lap. This is killing me to do.

  “Bella?”

  My head snaps up at the sound of my name being called. Fear laces through me as my eyes meet Dawn’s. My hands shake and my heart pounds.

  “Dawn? What, uh, what are you doing up this late?”

  “Are you leaving?”

  Tears spring to my eyes as I nod my head. She moves to sit next to me. Taking my hand in hers, she speaks gently.

  “Does Ace know you’re leaving?”

  “He knows I’m leaving he just doesn’t know I’m leaving now,” I say sadly.

  Dawn sits quietly for a moment before finally speaking. “Why are you leaving?”

  “Because I have to get my stuff in order on my own. I can’t expect him to do it for me or even help me. This is not his battle. This is mine. After being swarmed at the beach, I see what it would be like for him when it comes out that he’s with me. He’d be ruined, Dawn,” I sob. “I can’t do that to him. I love him too much to do that.”

  Tears swim in her eyes. “Did you tell him that?”

  Shaking my head, “Not fully no. I have to do this, Dawn. There’s no way I can bring Ace down. I need to have me and my life in order first. Please don’t hate me for this.”

  “I don’t hate you, Bella. Does my heart break for my friends, definitely. I don’t hate you. Can you do something for me though?”

  Looking at her, I can’t stop the tears or the shaking. My worry is that at any moment Ace is going to come rushing down here and beg me to stay. The problem is that if he did, I’d stay and then we’d both end up hurt. />
  “What?”

  “Allow me to go with you to make sure your safe. It’ll help ease Ace’s heart to know that you weren’t alone and that you’re safe. I won’t tell him where you are, unless you want me to, but I will give my oldest friend the peace of mind to know that the woman he loves the most is okay.”

  Nodding my head, the desk clerk announces that the car is ready. Dawn and I stand and walk out to the vehicle. I tell the driver where I want to go and he starts off into the night. Sitting back in the seat, I watch the hotel disappear from my view and my heart constricts painfully in my chest. A new bout of tears starts to fall down my cheeks as a sob breaks from my throat. Dawn pulls me into her arms and I cry on her shoulder.

  “I love him. I love him so much. This is killing me. He’s going to hate me and he should, but I had to do this. I have to face this on my own. I need to face this on my own.”

  “Shhhh,” Dawn hushes me as she strokes my hair. “He’s not going to hate you. I don’t think he ever could. He’s going to be hurt and worried, but he’ll never hate you.”

  Dawn continues to hold me as I cry and eventually, I cry myself to sleep.

  “Bella, wake up. We’re in town. Where are you wanting to go?” Dawn wakes me gently.

  “Go to Shamrick Motel on First and Main please,” I answer groggily.

  Sitting up, I rub my eyes before turning and looking back out at my home town. The light it once held for a little while is gone now. All because I left that light behind with a note. The gloom of this town now filling my body and sinking my shattered heart further into the dark spaces of nothingness.

  “This is where you’re from?”

  “Yeah, a small town of nothing. One school for Pre-K to eighth grade and one high school. More country living than city life even though there’s almost a twenty thousand population. It’s the kind of town you forget about once you’re gone. Nothing spectacular,” I reply uninterested.