Booze O'clock

by Bijou Hunter

  Until I feel the huge erection pressing against my thigh. Red alert! Everyone to the lifeboats! We are under attack from a giant torpedo!

  My body imagines his thick, hard flesh inside me, and my body instantly reacts by shutting down all my heat.

  “Stop,” I mumble, pushing Chipper away. “I can’t.”

  “I know.”

  “What?”

  “I don’t know. I just want to agree with you, so you’ll stop trying to flee.”

  “I don’t want to flee, but I’m not ready. S.O.S. Nine one one. Just stop.”

  Chipper’s hot body lifts off mine. Holding himself in this position, he smirks down at me. “Do you know what you need?”

  “Therapy?”

  “Mister Booze.”

  “I can’t drink on an empty stomach.”

  “You should have eaten at lunch.”

  “I don’t eat much at lunch. I’m sorry if that ruins your dreams of the future.”

  “I’ll adjust. I’m all about fucking compromise.”

  “So how about I eat something, have a shot of something, and then try this again in the dark where you can’t see my freckles?”

  “You can do and have whatever you want, Tatum. I’m not your—"

  “Boss?” I say, giving him an out.

  “I’ll order something for dinner.”

  “Ugh, you spend too much money. Don’t you have anything in the fridge?” I ask, rolling off the bed and hurrying out of the room before Chipper can stand up and reveal his massive erection. “Like food I can make into a sandwich.”

  “I have bread and some meat,” he says, already right behind me by the time I reach the stairs. I stare at him startled while he lists off more food. “Cheese too. Hey, I think I even have mayo. Look how shit all comes together. Much like we’ll come together tonight.”

  Turning around to face him, I can’t keep my gaze from checking out his erection doing very little to hide in his jeans. “Do you want to handle that?”

  “No. I’m saving it for someone very special,” he says and leans down until we’re lip to lip.

  I give him a quick kiss and then make a run for the kitchen. His erection haunts me. How will it fit in my body? How deep is my body? Can I cry during sex? Is that allowed? What are the rules? Why didn’t I do more sex research when I was alone in my room? Oh, yeah, because I forgot my phone downstairs.

  “Let me make us sandwiches,” I announce once in the kitchen.

  “I should point out that if you don’t like something I do to your fine body, feel free to say you don’t like it. That’s how people learn. I’m sure you’ll be pretty fucking awful at blowjobs in the beginning. Shit, I can’t even imagine how much my dick will need to dodge your teeth, but practice makes perfect.”

  Laughing with my head in the fridge, I’m relieved to have the cold on my burning hot cheeks. Chipper stands nearby, leaning against the counter and probably looking straight at my butt. Rather than worrying about his opinion of my rear end, I grab meat, cheese, veggies, and mayo from the fridge. In the nearby pantry, I find French bread.

  “Where are your pans?” I ask, finally forcing my gaze on Chipper.

  “Don’t cook. Just throw something together.”

  “No, I want a warm meal to go with my cold booze.”

  Nodding, Chipper finds me a frying pan and a cutting board. I chop onions and green peppers before cooking them in olive oil.

  “What’s your booze of choice?” I ask after adding leftover beef strips to the pan.

  “Whiskey made you puke. You did much better with the moonshine, so let’s stick to that for tonight.”

  I glance over my shoulder and notice him watching me. “I’m very excited about seeing you naked.”

  “You say that except are you cooking something that’ll make me gassy? Is this your way to get out of seeing me naked?”

  “Nope, that’s not my plan at all.”

  “Care to share then?” he asks, teasing the bare flesh between the seams of my shirt and pants.

  “If you’re busy farting, you won’t notice if I’m farting or making weird noises.”

  Chipper sighs loudly. “First, you’ve got us fucking in the dark. Now we’re fucking in a cloud of gas. You have some odd fantasies, Tatum.”

  Laughing, I turn away and continue cooking. “I’m so nervous I could puke. In fact, maybe I should call your sister for sex advice.”

  “That would be bad. Her advice would mostly consist of telling you to do butt stuff with your fingers.”

  “Your butt or mine?”

  “Does it matter?” he asks, laughing.

  Giggling at the thought, I take the pan off the burner. Soon, I’ve covered the bread with meat and veggie goodness. We take our plates and two mini-jugs of peach moonshine to the living room. I sit on one end of the couch with Chipper on the other.

  “You never put on your shirt,” I say, stating the obvious.

  “What’s the point when you’ll have me naked soon?”

  “That’s true.”

  Studying Chipper, I’m struck by how perfectly sexy and confident he always is while I remain a bumbling dork. I wish I could talk to a girl about my feelings and what I should prepare for with sex. I even wonder if I need to wax or at least shave above the knee.

  “You’re too quiet,” he says after telling me the sandwich is “fucking fantastic.” “Say something. Anything.”

  “Was Chevelle your first?”

  “No, these two were,” he says, flashing his hands. “You know those wives’ tales about masturbating leading to blindness or hairy palms. Neither is true, or I’d be a blind bear.”

  I know he’s trying to distract me with humor, but my nerves have me focused on the competition. “But she was your first girl, right?”

  “Yeah.”

  “When did you start dating?”

  “Let me see,” he says and leans back on the couch, so his feet rest on the table. “I met her when I was nine. We’d lived in White Horse a few months and Mom was already hooked up with Hayes. No, I think they were already married. Anyway, Bonn started working for Hayes, and Ruby bonded with Mom. That’s how Chevelle became friends with Cricket and me, but I didn’t think of her as the girl to pop my man cherry with until I was around fifteen.”

  “Were you a late bloomer?”

  “No, my balls dropped on time,” he says with great bravado, and I instantly roll my eyes. “But, no, I didn’t rush into girl obsession or want to date. Without attending school, there was no pressure to have a girlfriend. I didn’t feel any pressure to do anything really. Yes, my dick made me feel fucking outstanding. And, yes, I thought grown women were very interesting with their boobs bouncing everywhere. But, no, I wasn’t interested in a girlfriend especially Chevelle whose boobs barely bounced at all.”

  Taking a gulp of my moonshine, I ask, “Why were the other women’s boobs bouncing so much? Do women around here not wear bras?”

  “I don’t know. It’s possible I was thinking with my balls at the time.”

  “But eventually you noticed Chevelle had boobs, and she was your girlfriend. Was your first time together good?”

  Rubbing his head hard enough to muss up his thick hair, he exhales in a strangled way. “Do you really want to know about me with another girl?”

  “Yes, because I want to know about you when you were awkward. Tonight is my first time, and I won’t know what I’m doing. You’re always so confident and talking about licking stuff. So I want to imagine a time when you weren’t so confident.”

  “Licking what kind of stuff?” he asks, wiggling his eyebrows.

  “Hairy balls maybe?” I say, wiggling my eyebrows.

  Chipper grunts. “Mood killer.”

  “Tell me about your first time, and I’ll stop talking about hairy balls.”

  “Well, you feel free to talk about my hairy balls all you want, Tatum Dole.”

  “Thank you very much, Chipper Wilburn.”

  “Fine, our
first time was great. I was a stud for all of a minute and a half. Chevelle told me I was awesome, and I believed her. You know, until I did it better the next time and realized I was fucking awful the first time. She didn’t know any better, though, and probably thought I was great. I’m sure she now realizes her error.”

  “Describe fucking awful.”

  “Fast and sloppy. Lots of bad sex talk too. ‘Ooh, that’s so good, baby. So good.’”

  “Was it ‘so good’?” I ask, fighting laughter. “Wait, what kind of sex talk do you use now?”

  “I grunt a lot and compliment the pussy.”

  I know laughing is wrong, but he’s so clearly messing with me. Besides, I’m nervous as hell about tonight and no doubt my face is super red at this point. Somehow, though, his teasing calms me. Chipper has a way of making the awkward seem smooth, weird seem normal, and painful feel invigorating. I hope his talent to soothe me continues when we’re between the sheets.

  “Did Chevelle just lie under you and stare horrified because that’s what I’ll probably do?”

  “I don’t remember really. I was pretty focused on my dick at the time. Oh, and no way will you just lie there. I imagine you’ll wiggle around, making crazy noises. It’ll be fucking wild, and you’ll love it.”

  “And if I don’t?”

  Chipper kisses the palm of my hand. “Money back guarantee, Breezy.”

  Laughing, I can’t stop wondering about his first love. “Do you miss Chevelle?”

  “Sometimes,” he says as his hand caresses my knee. “We were friends more than anything else. I miss that part, but Chevelle’s no longer that girl, and she hasn’t been in a long fucking time. She’s a woman now with a husband and a kid while I’m a man with a soon-to-be-wife and soon-to-be-kids.”

  I reach for him and take his hand in mine. After a long internal conversation, I force myself to place his hand on my right breast.

  “I want to wiggle and make crazy noises.”

  “And I want that for you,” he says as his hand gently squeezes my breast. “I want you to forget about everything except you and me and our sweaty bodies.”

  I’m so ready to take our flirting to the naked next step. The booze keeps me nicely buzzed, but not so much that I don’t know what’s happening. I’m very aware that I’m about to enjoy Chipper’s fine body after eyeing his chest for the last hour. The booze makes my nerves tingle with lust rather than fear. Without a doubt, sex is going to be fucking awesome!

  CHIPPER

  Mister Booze does his job with Tatum, erasing her fears and sending her into celebration mode. She tells Alexa to play “That Thing You Do,” and the catchiest song ever gets her dancing around the room. I watch her bounce and wish I could get my hands on her wonderful curves, but she needs to return to me. Not only because Tatum is a nervous virgin ready to run, but because my dick is so hard that I’m unsure if I’m capable of standing with the damn thing.

  “I’m taking off my shirt!” Tatum cries. Moments later, after struggling to free herself from her top, she throws it at me. “I’m shirtless! This is my bra, Chipper! This is my white bra, and it’s B-sized. I’m a thirty-four B! How do you like them apples?”

  “I’m a big fucking fan of those apples,” I murmur before popping the button on my jeans. “I have to free my dick or else the fucking thing will break in half.”

  “I’ll take off my pants too,” she says, shoving down her sweatpants. “I am now in my underwear, and I’m not ashamed. These are my legs and my breasts, and they have freckles on them. I am a giant fucking freckle!”

  Tatum’s drunken gibberish has me laughing so hard that I nearly can’t get off my jeans. Her jumping up and down like a hyper cheerleader isn’t helping either.

  “You’re so beautiful,” I say, unable to help myself. Mister Booze leaves her unconcerned about compliments. She only hears the music and sees a bouncing world.

  “Chipper Wilburn is my boyfriend, and he doesn’t wear a shirt!” she announces, dancing my direction. “He isn’t a hairy bear! He isn’t a hairless boy! He’s just perfect!”

  “Can’t argue with your logic, Breezy.”

  Her gaze finds me, and she smiles gloriously. “You are a brilliant man.”

  “Again, you’re not wrong. My brilliance is why I deserve a woman as perfect as you.”

  “Perfect?” Tatum says and snorts. Whipping off her bra, she swings it over her head. “I’m armed with a bra now. Are you afraid of what I might do with it?” she asks, swaying her hips in my direction before climbing onto the couch. “I think I should tie you up and ravage your body.”

  Straddling my legs, she shakes her bra up in front of my face and then throws it across the room. “No, wait, bondage can wait. I want your hands free.”

  I take the hint and use my hands to explore her soft, pale skin. Tatum stops squirming when my fingers slide along her back, around her waist, and finally cup her sweet, perky tits.

  “Chippy,” she sighs, leaning back and jutting her tits forward for my display.

  My thumbs tease her hard nips. Each stroke makes her hips buck until I’m nearly ready to jizz my pants.

  “My dick is so hard,” I groan, finally freeing the bastard.

  Tatum startles me by rolling off my lap and resting on the couch. “So this is your penis,” she says, leaning on her elbows and giving my dick the evil eye. “I’m not afraid of you.”

  Struggling not to laugh at her silly babble, I whisper, “He likes you too, so don’t be afraid. He likes when pretty girls pet him.”

  “Did Chevelle pet him?”

  “Who?”

  Tatum grins at my response before a very serious expression takes over her face, and she reaches out for my dick. Rather than caress it, she pokes the beast.

  “Does your anaconda want my buns, hon?” she asks, snickering at her joke. “How will it fit inside me?”

  “We’ll find out soon enough.”

  “And these are your testicles, huh?” she asks and cups my balls. “They’re heavy. Full of sperm for baby making.”

  As much as I love her teasing, I groan at the feel of her touch. “Tatum, I’m about to come without getting anywhere near your sweet pussy. If that’s your plan, keep at it. If not, why not straddle me again so I can see your sweet tits.”

  Letting go of my balls, she rises up on her knees and grabs her tits. “These are what you want, huh? What are you planning to do with them?”

  “I want to suck those pink nipples until your pussy is hot and wet enough for my dick to claim.”

  “Sounds like a plan,” she murmurs and straddles me. “I’ve never had anyone lick my nipples before. Show me how it feels.”

  Tatum rests her palms on my knees and arches her back. I sigh at the sight of her pale pink nipples waiting for my lips. I give each one a long, wet, claiming lick. Moaning, Tatum responds by grinding her crotch against mine.

  “Fuck,” I growl, wrapping an arm around her waist and lifting her enough for me to shove down my boxers. If I don’t come soon, I’m fairly certain I’ll fucking die. I can’t imagine the shame my family will suffer if a lack of sex kills me.

  Still holding her around the waist, I latch onto one of her pretty pink nipples and suck hungrily. My free hand goes to my dick, stroking it.

  “Chipper,” she groans, gripping my hair and grinding her panty-covered pussy harder against my hand holding my dick.

  I slip my finger under her drenched panties, pushing them aside, so her wet slit now rolls against the shaft of my cock. Tatum throws her head back and moans so loud I think she might be coming. I realize my knuckle and her clit are going at each other in such a frenzy that it won’t be long before she orgasms on my lap.

  I return my lips to her tit and suck at the nipple. Between her legs, I tease her clit until she fists my hair and screams with pleasure. Honest-to-goodness hollering at the top of her lungs as her pussy gushes hot liquid on my balls. I can’t believe how hard she comes. Tatum is out of control, writhing
on my lap, begging for more.

  With an easy tug, I tear off her panties and toss them aside. My hand leaves my cock and her pussy long enough to cup her ass, guiding her hips upward. Tatum sways, still moaning, so focused on her pleasure that I don’t think she even feels the head of my cock until it’s an inch inside her.

  “Oh,” she groans, shoving downward and filling her body with a hard grunt. “Oh,” she says again.

  My lips find hers. Tatum groans into my mouth, and I feel her smiling. Her pussy clenches possessively around my cock, teasing it, but I’m beyond foreplay. I need to come, or I’ll fucking die.

  Hands gripping her hips, I guide them to roll fast and hard against mine. In an ideal world, our first fuck wouldn’t be as quick and probably not on the couch. I also wouldn’t come two minutes after my dick first enjoys the velvet heat of her pussy. Screw ideal, I’m horny as fucking hell, and this woman drives me crazy in a way only she can.

  TATUM

  The human body is a fabulous thing. Sure, farts and pooping are grody, and I could live without snot and vomiting too. But the human body is also capable of such intense pleasure. Plus, it can perform such feats as when a woman’s vagina stretches to fit a giant penis.

  “It fits!” I yell, throwing my arms in the air. “Your anaconda fit!”

  Sliding off his lap, I feel strange as his penis leaves my body. Empty, hollowed out, free!

  “I won!” I brag to Chipper before running to the stairs. “I’m leaking man juice down my legs, but I won. U! S! A! U! S! A!”

  I race up the stairs and down the hallway toward his bedroom. Enjoying freedom like I’ve never known before, I plan to stretch out on his massive bed while his penis has another at-bat with my still throbbing vagina.

  Jumping on the bed, I don’t know how long Chipper will take to join me. I roll on my back and point my feet in the air.

  “I’m still wearing socks,” I mutter, confused by how I’m not completely naked. “I look like a fool.”