by Bijou Hunter
I stand up and sigh. “I don’t want to be here.”
“Wow, you’re feeling honest today. That’s good,” Cricket says, snatching my hand and yanking me to the couch. “Real Tatum is the better Tatum. So how come you woke up on the pissed side of the bed?”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I say, unable to put into words why my happiness makes me miserable.
“Then let me play with your hair until Chipper comes back.”
I sit on the couch while she sits behind me. Bianca Bella relaxes in a chair and reads her tablet.
“You know who has great hair?” Cricket says. “Chevelle Fletcher.”
Feeling sucker punched, I frown at her. Bianca Bella sighs nearby but never looks up. Is she surprised by Cricket’s comment too? Likely not. They know each other too well. I was the same way with my mom. I could sense when she was about to lose her temper. I wasn’t even sure what signs I picked up on, but I knew in my gut when her anger was coming.
“That’s Chipper’s old girlfriend, right?” I ask in the coolest voice I can manage.
Cricket leans back on the couch. “Did you know Poet had an old girlfriend back in West Virginia? Her name was Whore, and she was killed when a semi ran over her. She was only injured at first, but then the semi thought it was on top of her, so it backed up and ran over her again. Very, very tragic stuff.”
“I’m sorry for your loss.”
Cricket smirks, looking so much like Chipper. “Yeah, that’s the thing, Whore was so very awful, and no one liked her. Their universal hatred for Whore made visiting Tumbling Rock so much easier for me. Unfortunately, for you, Chevelle isn’t a horrible person with bad skin, rotting teeth, and oozing flesh.”
“What was wrong with that woman?” I ask horrified.
Bianca Bella grins and glances at me. “Cricket has been known to exaggerate at times.”
“Oh, so Chevelle’s hair isn’t that great?”
“No, it’s pretty fabulous,” Cricket says. “Thick, curly, with all these natural highlights in it. I’d hate her if she weren’t one of my closest friends.”
“Why are you telling me all of this?” I mutter.
“Aren’t you curious about her? She’s not only Chipper’s first love but also the daughter of your half brother, making her your niece. Just think, both you and a blood relative have both ridden the Chipper Dick Train. How gross is that?”
“You’re not helping,” Bianca Bella says, sighing.
“Oh, yeah, I was trying to help, right. Okay, so you were probably curious about her, and you should be. She’ll be a part of your life for a long time since she’s family and Chipper’s childhood friend. But she’s also a sweet person who will treat you well.”
“You can’t know that.”
“But I can. She isn’t in love with Chipper and wishes he would find someone to love. So she’ll be happy he’s found you.”
Her reassuring words quickly calm me despite how they earlier made me feel like shit. Cricket is quite the puppeteer with my feelings.
“Also, Chevelle is very close with her mom. She’ll understand how much you’re hurting to have lost yours so young. Chevelle has a kind heart, so I don’t want you to resent or fear her. She isn’t your competition. She’s happily married to a sexy stud, and they have a super fucking cute son. Your great-nephew actually. Man, your paternal family tree is hinky.”
“Everything you say sounds nice, but she was Chipper’s first love.”
“That was puppy love.”
“Maybe, but he’s never been serious about anyone else.”
“Only because he’s lazy. That’s Chipper’s great flaw,” Cricket explains. “It comes with having an easy life. We weren’t super rich growing up, but we were comfortable. We’re educated, pampered, and safe. It made me selfish and Chipper lazy, but love forces us to improve like I did with Poet.”
Cricket takes my hand. “This might be difficult for you to believe but I used to be very selfish.”
“Is this where I gasp?”
“Yes, Tatum, it is.”
Obliging, I gasp, and Cricket grins. “Good girl. So I love White Horse, and I don’t want to live anywhere else, but Poet feels that way about Tumbling Rock. The only way for him to be happy is for me to sacrifice some of my happiness and meet him in the middle. Fortunately, I like his crappy hometown and all the stupid people who live there. Even if I didn’t, though, I’d still spend half our time in West Virginia to make Poet happy. He’s worth the sacrifice because he’s the one. Chevelle wasn’t Chipper’s one, and that’s why he was lazy with her. She wanted to move to Jamaica. He didn’t. She went, and Chipper didn’t follow. If you wanted to return to Florida, Chipper would follow you.”
“How can you know that?”
“He’s my twin. I give him shit constantly because it’s fucking fun, but I know his heart, and he’s fallen hard for you. Not puppy love. Not temporary feelings he can get lazy with. Nope, I know it’s real, and that’s why I don’t want you to feel nervous about Chevelle. She found her guy, and now Chipper found his girl. They can be friends because they weren’t meant to be anything else. Get it?”
“So wise,” Bianca Bella says while staring at her tablet.
“I am when it comes to Chipper.”
Crossing my arms, I think about Chipper and Chevelle. “Young love rarely lasts” is something Mom said when I asked if she’d ever been in love. That was before she told me about Howler.
“I need to prep the Turkish fish stew. Would you ladies like to help me?” Bianca Bella asks.
Jumping up, I ache to keep busy. I don’t want to talk about my feelings or Chipper’s former loves. I don’t want anyone playing with my hair like my mom used to do.
I join Bianca Bella in the kitchen where she hands me a red pepper to slice. Before Cricket can share more wisdom or cut a carrot, she receives a text and hurries to the door. “I’ll be back soon.”
“What the hell?” Bianca Bella asks.
“Family business. Nothing bad. Just important. Need to go. Be back soon.”
I stare dumbfounded at Cricket’s quick escape. After Chipper’s earlier insistence on leaving me behind, I’m paranoid about trouble brewing in the background. A million things could go wrong in my current situation. I don’t know these people well. I’m cranky a lot, and my period made me act super weird. Are they plotting to get rid of me? Am I in danger?
“Cricket likes drama,” Bianca Bella says while chopping onions. “I used to feel the same way, but the mini-twins wore me the fuck out. Now I’m much more chill, and I see how high energy she can seem. It’s not personal. It’s just a Wilburn thing.”
“I feel powerless,” I blurt out. “I don’t know what’s happening from hour to hour. I’m completely reliant on Chipper’s goodwill. I know he’s a good man despite all his weird behavior, but if he wasn’t on the up-and-up, I’d be screwed.”
“It hasn’t been very long since you joined our clan of wackos. Even if we weren’t an overly dramatic bunch, you’d still feel powerless. You’re a stranger in a strange land who’s traumatized from losing your mom. Rather than worrying about Chipper and Cricket’s antics, you could tell me something about Florida. Like what you miss and don’t miss.”
Shivering, I don’t want to think about the home I left behind. Except that every good moment in my present is clouded by the pain of my recent past. Every kid I see makes me think of the ones I watched with Mom. Every cold breath reminds me of how warm winters in Florida were and how Mom often talked about her childhood back in Tennessee. Now I’m experiencing what I only heard about from her, and it’s all too much.
So despite barely knowing Bianca Bella, I start reciting every tiny thing I miss about Florida before finally reaching the topic of my mother. Opening that can of worms proves so distracting that I forget all about Chipper’s secretive errands and Cricket’s quick escape.
CHIPPER
Something Else Sandwich Shop opened two years ago after Cricke
t and Mom decided White Horse didn’t have a decent place to buy a good French dip. I oversaw the design and hired the staff. Now Something Else is a popular destination for retired folks at lunch while teenagers hang out after school and during the dinner rush.
My brother and Keanu consider the sub shop their base of operations. I find them sitting across from each other at their back table. A lull in business leaves the rest of the shop empty except for a pair of giggling high school girls at a front table. They’re gabbing on their phones, and I get a weird feeling they’re talking to each other. Teenagers are the oddest creatures on the planet. Even a fucking platypus makes more sense.
Pulling a chair over to their table, I join Cap and Keanu. “Hello, younglings. Are you having a fine afternoon?”
“Why are you here?” Cap asks, nervous I’ll fuck up the vibe of his precious hangout even though I run the damn thing.
“I need your assistance,” I say and glance at Keanu hiding under his black bangs. “I’m not sure the little man should listen in.”
“Don’t call me little, old man,” Keanu says, making no move to leave. “I might not be insanely tall like your clan of giants, but I’m plenty tall enough.”
“Fine, gigantor, you can stay.”
“I know I can. That was never in question,” he says and gives me a cocky smile.
“Wait, maybe you can’t. I mean this is about Howler, and he’s your kin.”
“He’s Dayton’s uncle,” Keanu clarifies, mentioning his Serrated Brotherhood Vice President stepdad. “I never liked Howler. He always treated Bonn like shit, and Bonn is my uncle, so that trumps Dayton’s relationship with his uncle.”
“Fine, stay, Mister Larger Than Life.”
Keanu leans against the wall. “Again, I wasn’t planning on leaving.”
“Now I want you both to promise you won’t rat out my plan to Hayes.”
“Like why can’t Dad know?” Cap asks. “He always gets shit done, and he would want to know.”
“Please stop talking,” I mutter and rub my eyes. “Teenagers are so stupid and your every word hurts my brain.”
“So do you want my fucking help or what?” Cap growls in his best Hayes impression.
“It’s just I spent seven years as a teenager while also listening to Cricket be a teenager. I suffered so fucking much. I’m hoping to survive your last teenage years without brain damage, so keep the chatter to a minimum.”
Cap and Keanu stare at me with their nearly black eyes. I smile at how annoyed they look, but, alas, I have a plan to put into motion.
“I want to grab Howler and pull out his teeth.”
“And Dad can’t help, why?”
“Because he’s never seen a problem he can’t nuke. I feel a stealth attack would suffice.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means he likes to kill people, and killing Howler isn’t on the fucking menu.”
“Why?”
“He’s decrepit. Have you seen him shuffling around, trying to act like he’s still a badass stud? It’s pathetic. I’d rather he fall apart slowly than give him a quick end.”
“Why pull out his teeth?” Keanu asks.
“He has money, and he should have financially supported Tatum when she was growing up. Since he didn’t, she had to have teeth pulled rather than getting more expensive treatments. That’s on him. Since she lost teeth, now he’s losing them too.”
“How are you planning to do that?”
“I’ll grab him when he’s plastered at a bar. I’ll knock him out with chloroform and keep him out with some drugs while I do a little homemade dentistry.”
“That decrepit fucker might die if you do all that,” Cap says. “Then what?”
“Then I toss what’s left of him in the dumpster and go on with my life. Why, did you want to throw him a fucking memorial?”
“If he dies, the Brotherhood could get violent,” Cap says, sounding more like a kid than he intends.
“I have someone they can blame and kill as retribution. You should always have a few people in mind for that purpose.”
“Dad already told me that.”
“Then why the fuck did you just act as if I should be worried?”
“I didn’t know if he told you too.”
“Why wouldn’t he?”
Cap shrugs his giant shoulders. “Maybe he doesn’t like you so much.”
“Oh, he likes me plenty. I’m his favorite son.”
“Bullshit.”
“You want to believe that, but the truth can’t be denied.”
Shaking his head, Cap acts as if he’s onto my bullshit. I know without a doubt that he’ll still ask Hayes tonight if I’m his favorite son. If I had to bet money, I’d guess our father will throw a fit about how stupid his kids are and how we’ll be the death of him. Yeah, Hayes will make sure Cap keeps worrying. Kids work harder when they’re competitive and his youngest kid ain’t nearly competitive enough.
“So do you want to help me or not?” I ask my brother when he just looks confused.
“Let me think while I eat.”
Cap learned the waiting move from our mom. She loves to force people to watch her eat while she “considers her options.”
While Cap and Keanu eat their sandwiches, I end up ordering one too. I can’t watch people eat without getting hungry. I swear if I didn’t work out, I’d be the fattest fucker on the continent.
“What the fuck?” Cricket asks as soon as she enters the shop. “Since when do you make plans without involving me?”
I frown at Cap who shrugs. “I texted her when you were first talking.”
“How? I was looking directly at your fucking face.”
“Under the table, bitch.”
Cricket pushes over Cap to make room. “So what’s the plan and why am I not in charge of it?”
“Where the hell is Tatum?”
“Back home with Bianca Bella. They’re cooking some kind of Turkish stew. Don’t worry, Chip. Your grown woman can stand to be without supervision for a few minutes.”
“I left her with you for a reason. Tatum needs to be around people to keep her mind from thinking ugly thoughts.”
“Yeah, and last I checked, Bianca Bella is considered people. So what’s this plan you’re putting together?”
Sighing, I hope Cricket doesn’t piss all over my plan. “We’re yanking Howler’s teeth.”
“Eww, I’m not touching him. You can do that part, and I’ll stand by and cheer you on.”
“Fine, whatever.”
“Can Poet help? He’s an enforcer, so it’s not like he hasn’t yanked a few teeth out in his time.”
“I don’t know. Dirty bikers aren’t good at following directions.”
“How can you say that when he obeys me daily?”
“You offer him pussy. I have no such prize for him.”
“I’ll offer him pussy to come along. Chipper, don’t be a bitch. Let us help. It’ll be fun. I never get to rough up people anymore since the mini-twins were born.”
Balking at her bullshit, I say, “You chased down that guy with your car last month.”
“Yeah, and then you and Cap roughed him up.”
“You just fucking said you won’t touch Howler, so how are you helping us rough him up, idiot?”
“I’ll wear gloves.”
“For fuck’s sake, you can come and bring your baby daddy too. Now let’s figure the fuck out where we can grab Howler without alerting the Brotherhood right off.”
We sit quietly considering our options. My sandwich arrives, and Cricket takes half of it.
“Wait, I know,” she says with a full mouth. “We hire a working girl from Common Bend. Someone younger and cuter that he likely hasn’t banged. We’ll have her lure him out of Salty Peanuts.”
“Won’t that put her in danger?”
“No. We have her wear a fucking wig or something. The Brotherhood doesn’t know all the whores working in Common Bend. I doubt they even keep trac
k of the whores working in Hickory Creek. Anyway, she’ll lure him outside while one of us goes inside the club to make a little scene. Just enough to keep people focused on the inside while we’re outside knocking out Howler. Then we take him wherever we want and yank those teeth.”
“Who does the diversion?” I ask.
“Keanu and Cap can.”
“How?”
“Go in and play pool until you get the signal. Then start a fight with each other. Just stupid shit. Yell at each other in Korean, so no one knows what the fuck you’re saying. Then when we’ve got Howler secured, you can make up and kiss or whatever. I really don’t know what you boys do when I’m not around.”
“Funny shit,” Cap growls.
“I love when you make that kitty purr of yours,” she says, grinning. “If Chip or I go into Salty Peanuts, we’ll need a reason to be there. No one will buy that we just want a drink in a honky-tonk miles from home. You two can walk in without trouble and walk out the same way. It’s brilliant.”
“Brilliant might be overselling it,” I mutter.
“Fine, it’s satisfactory.”
“I agree with that, and I think we could put it together by next week. Are you two in?”
Cap shrugs in his dumb-kid way that drives me fucking nuts. I swear since he turned thirteen my brother lost the ability to form many words. All those hormones in his giant body have rendered him dumb.
Keanu’s past the teenage stage, but he only nods. I suspect he spends too much time with my often-mute brother. They likely don’t speak as much as respond with gestures and grunts.
Nonetheless, they agree to help me claim from Howler a little piece of what he stole from Tatum. Sure, his teeth are a small sacrifice, but the old man won’t like waking up to find his teeth missing and a world of pain waiting for him.
TATUM
The longer Chipper’s gone, the more I miss him. The more I miss him, the more I feel the loss of my mother. Soon, I can barely focus on helping Bianca Bella in the kitchen. I stand next to her, struggling against my hot tears.
“I cry three times a week,” Bianca Bella announces while cutting green apples. “I enjoy crying, and I’m fairly certain it’s good for weight loss.”