Whoops! We're In Big Trouble Now

by Adele Abbott

  So he did, and he told her all about the photoshoot, and how he’d had no idea he’d be working with Amelia. When he’d finished, he braced himself for Jade’s reaction.

  She laughed.

  He certainly hadn’t been expecting that.

  “Aren’t you angry?”

  “Of course I’m not. I’m trying to imagine how you must have felt when she turned up on set.”

  “I was horrified.”

  “Terrified too if I know you.”

  “You’re right.” He grinned. “I almost grabbed my stuff and ran out of there.”

  “There is something seriously wrong with that woman.”

  “Tell me about it.”

  “I mean it, Charlie. I think she could be dangerous.”

  “She’ll soon get fed up when she realises that you and I are an item.”

  “An item? We’re an item, then, are we?”

  “I—err—what I meant is—”

  “It’s okay. I like the idea of us being an item.” She kissed him. “I have to go in a minute, but I have something to tell you too. I went into the travel agents before I came here. I hope you don’t mind, but I’ve booked a day trip to Stratford.”

  “Stratford? Great!”

  “Have you been there before?”

  “No, never, but I’m sure it’ll be fantastic.”

  ***

  Neil had been to check on his car for the third time that morning. It wasn’t that he was worried someone might have stolen it, it was just that he wanted to see it again. And if that made him sad, he really didn’t care.

  “Neil, you had a phone call while you were out.” Fable was behind the counter. “It was the owner.”

  “What did he want?”

  “He asked if you’d meet him in Coff-In at midday.”

  “Did he say what for?”

  “No, just that you shouldn’t be late.”

  “Okay.”

  That unexpected message put Neil on edge. The owner rarely made surprise visits and he’d never asked to meet in a coffee shop before—he always came into the shop. This had better not be bad news. He couldn’t afford to lose this job—particularly not now he’d taken on the payments for the car.

  Chapter 5

  Molly was out of the shop, on her lunchbreak. Dorothy was still feeling sorry for herself, and wishing for a few customers, to take her mind off things. So far today, they’d had precisely three people through the door, and one of those had been looking for the haberdashery.

  The door chime rang; it was Nobby from Nerd Central, and he was carrying an enormous bouquet of flowers.

  “Hi, Nobby. Is it your mum’s birthday?”

  “No, why?” He looked puzzled.

  “I was going by the flowers.”

  “These are for Molly. Is she in?”

  “No, she’s gone out—it’s her lunchbreak.”

  “Will she be long?” He bit his bottom lip.

  “Who knows? She should be back in the next ten minutes, but it wouldn’t be the first time she’d been late. If today is Molly’s birthday, I haven’t even got her a card.”

  “These aren’t for her birthday. I bought them because that’s what you’re supposed to do for your girlfriend, isn’t it?”

  “Girlfriend? Molly?”

  “We went out for dinner; didn’t she tell you?”

  “Yeah, but—”

  “And we’re going out again.”

  “Right, but even so, I don’t think—”

  The door opened, and in walked Molly. “Ooh! Are those for me?”

  “Yeah.” Nobby beamed. “Do you like them?”

  “They’re beautiful.” She took them from him, and gave him a little peck on the cheek. “Thanks.”

  “I’d better get back.” He practically walked on air out of the shop.

  “You can’t do this to him, Molly!” Dorothy said.

  “Do what?”

  “Lead him on like this. He thinks you and he are an item.”

  “Don’t be daft.”

  “He just called you his girlfriend.”

  “Did he?” She laughed. “How sweet is that?”

  “It’s not sweet. It’s cruel, that’s what it is.”

  “When did you become such a killjoy? You’ve seen how happy he is around me. I don’t see what harm it’s doing if we’re both getting something out of it.”

  “I can see what you’re getting out of it: free meals and flowers, but I’m not so sure what Nobby gets.”

  “The pleasure of my company, of course.”

  “Sometimes, I despair.”

  ***

  Neil hadn’t taken even a sip of his coffee; he was too nervous. It wasn’t like the owner to ask to meet away from the shop, and Neil feared the worst. He’d been taking a lot of liberties recently: late starts, early finishes and plenty of time off in-between. He’d always got away with it in the past, but maybe he’d become too complacent. What if Debs had grassed him up? He wouldn’t put it past her. She probably figured that if he got the bullet, she’d be made manager. The snivelling little traitor.

  “Neil, hi.”

  He looked up and was surprised to see Kim Neaper standing there.

  “Kim?”

  “How are you?”

  “I—err—I’m okay, thanks.”

  “Do you mind if I join you?”

  “I’m waiting for someone. I have a meeting with the owner of the shop.”

  “Actually, you don’t.”

  “Sorry? I don’t understand.”

  “Don’t be angry with Fable, please.”

  The penny finally dropped. “Fable made all this up, didn’t she? So you could meet me here?”

  Kim nodded.

  Neil should have been angry, but all he felt was relief. He hadn’t lost his job, and that meant he’d be able to keep his new car.

  “Do you forgive me?” Kim said.

  “I suppose so.”

  “Great!” She took the seat next to his. “I had hoped that you might have called me before now.”

  “I’ve been really busy, what with—”

  “It’s okay. I know the real reason. You don’t have to lie.”

  “I wasn’t—”

  “Please, Neil. I know it’s because of what I do for a living.”

  “Living? Don’t you mean dying?” He sneered, but then saw the hurt in her eyes. “Sorry, I didn’t mean that.”

  “You don’t know what it’s like. Every time I meet someone that I like, everything’s okay until I tell them about my job.”

  “You can’t blame people for being a bit freaked out.”

  “I don’t. Of course, I don’t, but I’m more than just my job. We got on alright the other night, didn’t we?”

  “I guess.”

  “Be honest, if I wasn’t a grim reaper, you would have called me, wouldn’t you?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Neil, please!”

  “Yes, okay.”

  “Can’t you forget what I do?”

  “I’m not sure.”

  “I’m not going to beg. I really like you, and I think you like me. At least, you did until you realised what I do for a job. Why don’t we give it one more try? If you still feel the same after that, then we’ll call it quits. What do you say?”

  “Okay. When?”

  “I’m free on Friday night.”

  “Okay, Friday it is, then.”

  ***

  Susan didn’t normally drink at lunchtime, but the atmosphere in the office was so depressing that she needed something to get her through the afternoon. She’d asked Stella to join her, but she had already arranged to meet her sister for lunch.

  Drinking alone wasn’t Susan’s idea of fun, and she certainly didn’t want to risk being chatted up by some sleazebag who thought any woman by herself must be desperate for male company. Bar Flea was just around the corner from The Bugle’s offices, and from the outside, looked pretty much empty. That would do nicely. After ordering
a small lager, she found a booth at the very back of the bar where she was unlikely to be disturbed.

  Susan hadn’t totally discounted Flynn’s offer to join him at New Edge. It was a fast-growing publication with an excellent reputation. She could certainly do a lot worse. But then, there was the thought of returning to the capital. In the beginning, she’d loved living in London, but that had soon worn thin. And then of course, there was Eddie to consider. She was in no hurry to see that loser again.

  The sound of voices snapped her back to earth. One of those voices sounded vaguely familiar, so Susan poked her head around the side of the booth to see who it was. Standing by the bar was her new neighbour, Faze. With her, were three other women, all of whom shared the same athletic build as Faze. Also with them was a young man who cut a much less impressive figure.

  When they had their drinks, they began to walk in Susan’s direction, so she ducked back down. Moments later, much to her dismay, she heard them take their seats in the next booth. She considered sticking her head over the top, to say hello, but decided that might look a bit weird.

  Susan hadn’t set out to deliberately listen in on their conversation, but they were quite loud, so she couldn’t help but hear snippets. The first thing she noticed was that they all had very similar names. As well as Faze, there was a Daze and a Maze. And the young man appeared to be called Blaze.

  “I caught him red-handed.”

  “With the blood?”

  “Yeah.”

  “He didn’t reckon on the RRs, did he?”

  “Look who’s here, boys,” Dougal said.

  Susan hadn’t seen him and Bob Bragg walk into the bar.

  “What do you want, Dougal?”

  “You’re sitting in our spot. Waiting for us, were you?”

  “I didn’t know you drank in here. I thought the Walrus and Hammer was your usual watering hole.”

  “We like to spread our custom around. Are you drowning your sorrows because Golden Boy is leaving you stranded?”

  “I was having a quiet drink until you came in.” Susan stood up, and noticed that Faze and her companions were on their way out of the bar, even though their drinks were mostly untouched. “I’ll leave you two gentlemen to it.”

  Once outside, she glanced up and down the street, but there was no sign of Faze or the others. Trust Dougal to turn up just when the conversation in the next booth was starting to get interesting. She replayed it in her head.

  Caught red-handed with the blood?

  What line of business were Faze and her colleagues in? Susan seemed to remember that Faze had mentioned that she did something in law enforcement. Violent crime could certainly result in bloodshed, but what she’d actually overheard was something about being caught red-handed with the blood. What could that possibly mean? And what were the RR’s?

  ***

  “I have a bone to pick with you, Fable.” Neil came thundering back into the shop.

  “Whatever did you do?” Debs said.

  “I’ll tell you what she did. She made up a story about the owner wanting to meet with me in Coff-In, but that was a lie, wasn’t it, Fable? When I got there, it was Kim who was waiting for me.”

  “I’m not surprised you’re upset, Neil.” Debs laughed. “Kim is obviously unhinged if she wants to see you again.”

  “Don’t you have work to do?”

  “No, I’m too busy watching this train wreck.”

  “I’m sorry I lied to you, Neil,” Fable said. “But I hope you didn’t upset Kim.”

  “Of course I didn’t upset her.”

  “What happened, then?”

  “Yeah, Neil,” Debs chipped in. “What happened?”

  “It’s none of your business. I’m going to my office, and I don’t want to be disturbed because I have a lot of work to do.”

  “That’ll be a novel experience for you,” Debs said.

  Neil gave her a look, and then charged off to his office, slamming the door behind him.

  “Oh dear, Fable.” Debs grinned. “What did you do?”

  Fable didn’t respond because she was too busy reading the message that had come through on her phone. “It’s from Kim. She and Neil are going on another date on Friday night.”

  “Priceless.”

  ***

  “You look great, Dorothy,” Charlie said. “Are you going somewhere nice?”

  “Have you forgotten?” Neil jumped in. “She’s having dinner with Parrot Man tonight.”

  “You do realise that the human isn’t here at the moment, don’t you, Neil?” Dorothy flashed her fangs. “So, there’s absolutely nothing to stop me from tearing out your throat.”

  “There’s no need for violence.” Neil backed off. “I was only having a laugh.”

  “Where is he taking you?” Charlie asked.

  “To somewhere called The Green Place.”

  “That sounds veggie to me,” Neil said.

  “I hope not. I’d kill for a nice, bloody steak.”

  There was still a certain amount of tension between Neil and Dorothy, so Charlie bowed out, and went through to his bedroom. He was about to have a lie down when he heard two voices coming through the microphone: One of them was Bunty’s; the other was a man’s. Weirdly, Bunty seemed to be laughing—she never laughed.

  With his curiosity piqued, Charlie took a look through the magnifying glass.

  “Hi, there, Bunty.”

  “Oh?” She scowled. “It’s you. Have you got my money?”

  “Not yet. Aren’t you going to introduce me?”

  “This handsome gentleman is a very good friend of mine. Lewis, this big lummox is Charlie. He likes to destroy people’s houses.”

  Lewis? That was the name of the man that Greta had said she was seeing. What was he doing with Bunty?

  “Where’s Greta?”

  “Who knows?” Bunty shrugged. “And who cares? Three is a crowd, isn’t it, Lewis?”

  “I—err—well, I—err—” He looked and sounded flustered.

  “Did you want something, Charlie?” Bunty said. “Only, we’re having a private conversation down here.”

  “Not really.” He stepped away.

  This wasn’t right. Greta had been so happy about her new man, but now Bunty seemed to be making a move on Lewis.

  Should Charlie have said something? Would it have done any good? Of course not—Bunty wouldn’t take a blind bit of notice of him. Still, he couldn’t stand back and see Greta hurt like this—he would have to tell her.

  ***

  “Thank goodness,” Dorothy said when she saw the menu.

  “What is it?” Donny had pulled out all the stops, and was dressed in what looked suspiciously like a new suit.

  “I was worried this was going to be a vegetarian restaurant.”

  “Are you kidding?” He laughed. “Have you forgotten who sells you your sausage and bacon cobs every morning?”

  “Why is it called The Green Place, then?”

  “Duh!” He gestured around the room where practically everything was the colour green.

  “Oh, yeah. Of course. Sorry, I left my brain at home.”

  “What are you going to have?” Donny said.

  “A large, bloody steak. With lots of chips.”

  “Sounds good to me. I’ll have the same, but I prefer my steak well done.”

  “That’s sacrilege.”

  As the evening progressed, Dorothy was pleasantly surprised by how much she enjoyed Donny’s company. The guy actually had some depth to him, unlike most of the men she’d encountered. Not only was he able to hold an intelligent conversation on a range of subjects, but he actually seemed genuinely interested in what she had to say.

  “Molly said you weren’t very happy working in the bookshop,” he said when they’d finished the main course.

  “I’ll get over it. It’s not like I have much choice.”

  “She mentioned something about a business venture?”

  “That young madam should learn to
keep a lid on it.”

  “What is it? This business venture?”

  “What does it matter? It isn’t going to happen.”

  “Tell me, please. I’m interested.”

  “Tilly, who lives in the same apartment block as me, is thinking of starting a blood delivery service.”

  “Blood? Yuk!” He grinned, and pretended to shudder at the thought. “Is there a demand for that kind of service?”

  “Definitely. Most vampires in Washbridge would kill to get human blood delivered to their door.” She laughed. “Not literally, obviously.”

  “What’s stopping you from doing it, then? If you’re not happy at the bookshop, you should go for it.”

  “I can’t. I don’t have enough cash.”

  “What would it cost?”

  “You ask a lot of questions.”

  “Sorry, I’m just interested.”

  “Tilly reckons we’d need five thousand pounds each to get it off the ground. Even with help from my mother, I’m still twelve hundred and fifty short.”

  “I could let you have the rest.”

  “Very funny.”

  “I’m deadly serious.”

  “Yeah, right.”

  “I know I joke around a lot, but not when it comes to business.”

  “Even if you were serious, I couldn’t take your money.”

  “I’m not offering it to you as a gift. I’d be a part-owner. One eighth, by my calculations.”

  “Why would you want to get involved?”

  “Why not? I have money in the bank that’s earning me practically nothing in interest. I figure if you and Tilly can make a go of this, I stand to profit as well.”

  “You’re serious, aren’t you?”

  “Yeah. We’d have to iron out the details, but in principle, I’d be prepared to invest in the two of you.”

  “Tilly would have to agree to it.”

  “Of course. You’d better speak to her, then.”

  Dorothy hesitated. “You do understand this wouldn’t mean that I’m obligated to you in any other way?”

  He laughed. “You really do have a low opinion of me, don’t you?”

  “It’s a little higher now than it was before this evening, and not just because you’ve offered the money.”